THE VERDICT IS IN: MICHAEL JACKSON FOUND GUILTY!!!

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Just kidding.

Could happen soon, tho'.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 6 June 2005 15:53 (twenty years ago)

YOU GODDAMNEDMOTHERFUCKINGSHITEATINGCOCKSUCKINGSONOFAB--- oh wait. It hasn't been proved.

― Ian Riese-Moraine. Sweeter than a lorry load of white Toblerones. (Eastern Mantr, Monday, 6 June 2005 15:57 (twenty years ago)

I wonder what he's having for lunch today.. Since , ya know...

― geyser muffler and a quarter (Dave225), Monday, 6 June 2005 15:59 (twenty years ago)

I'd be very surprised by a guilty verdict, frankly.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:01 (twenty years ago)

Sorry, but just hearing a report that he's checked himself into yet another hospital for "back problems" just bugs the hell out of me.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:08 (twenty years ago)

Would it be a bad idea to release a Jackson tribute album if he's found guilty?

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:09 (twenty years ago)

I wonder what he's having for lunch today

Tiny little underpants.

― the Devil, Monday, 6 June 2005 16:09 (twenty years ago)

tick tock tick tock

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 6 June 2005 16:12 (twenty years ago)

I have to agree with Colin. I don't think he'll be found guilty.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:13 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://edition.cnn.com/2005/LAW/06/06/jackson.trial/index.html

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:17 (twenty years ago)

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2005/LAW/06/06/jackson.trial/top.jackson.wed.ap.jpg

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:17 (twenty years ago)

i just thought this thread needed a picture.

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:18 (twenty years ago)

He will be found guilty of misdemeanor providing children with alcohol and get probation, no jail. Sadly.

― mjfan, Monday, 6 June 2005 16:20 (twenty years ago)

alex, that wasn't funny.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:22 (twenty years ago)

Stop! Forget who it is!

There's an adult divorced man with a couple of kids in your street. Your own children sometimes go there for sleepovers with this man's kids. Suddenly the whole neighborhood finds out their children (including yours) have slept in HIS bed and not in his children's bedroom during those sleepovers. There are no further allegations, no paintings with him as Christ and your children as angels, no plastic surgery, nothing of the like. Just that realisation. Will he make it to the police station alive? Will he have time to put on his little wings for a Peter Pan Defence attempt?

― StanM, Monday, 6 June 2005 16:36 (twenty years ago)

Damn you Alex. Damn you to hell.

― The Brainwasher (Twilight), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:45 (twenty years ago)

MICHAEL JACKSON IS GUILTY of having a really wicked creepy face.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:47 (twenty years ago)

The sad fact is that they just don't send people with that sort of money to prison in America. Especially not white people. (except of course Martha Stewart...)

― Hutlock (Hutlock), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:51 (twenty years ago)

MICHAEL IS NOT WHITE. THAT'S IGNORANCE. YOU'RE BEING IGNORANT.

― The Brainwasher (Twilight), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:51 (twenty years ago)

Stan, if that's all there were, the judge wouldn't even let that get to the jury. A Motion to Dismiss would be asked for and granted.

― Colin Meeder (Mert), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:53 (twenty years ago)

It amuses me that people have no conception of how the legal system works until I realize that twelve of these people are on the jury.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 6 June 2005 16:55 (twenty years ago)

He won't be let off easy because of his (arguable) money.

He'll be let off easy because the prosecution made a weak case with unreliable accusers and little actual evidence.

Which I'm kinda sad about--partly because I find his air of feigned delicacy so annoying. Dude needs to cowboy the fuck up.

― The Mad Puffin, Monday, 6 June 2005 16:59 (twenty years ago)

The more I am exposed to the phrase "cowboy up", the more likely it is I am going to turn into The Incredible Hulk.

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:00 (twenty years ago)

The more I am exposed to the phrase "cowboy up", the more likely it is I am going to turn into The Incredible Hulk.

Bahahahahahahaha

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:02 (twenty years ago)

Can anyone explain Friday's Post "SWEAT FREAK" headline to me?

― C0L1N B... (C0L1N B...), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:03 (twenty years ago)

Most Post headlines are inexplicable. Need I bring up "The Arafat Lady Sings?"

― The Brainwasher (Twilight), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:04 (twenty years ago)

I am going to write a song called "Cowboy Up Dan Perry!" and shop it around to various Shibuya-kei bands.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Monday, 6 June 2005 17:04 (twenty years ago)

"arguable"?

― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:04 (twenty years ago)

Um what's so hard to understand about "SWEAT FREAK"?

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:05 (twenty years ago)

They are calling MJ a freak and they are implying that he is sweating right now waiting for the verdict. Unless there is some here-to-fore undiscovered sweat kink that Michael is engaging in (if so I imagine the body of the piece would clarify that.)

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:07 (twenty years ago)

I'll be very surprised if a guilty verdict is returned, except for maybe on the "giving alcohol to a minor" charge. A slap on the wrist - followed by more disturbingly deluded self-righteous PR by MJ - is sure to come.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Monday, 6 June 2005 17:07 (twenty years ago)

Someone is going to make a great song called "Sweat Freak" now btw. Great headline.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:08 (twenty years ago)

I didn't read the article and haven't really been following the case...

x-post (oh ok, Alex. I wasn't reading "sweat" as a verb")

― C0L1N B... (C0L1N B...), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:08 (twenty years ago)

Can you sweat through polyfilla?

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:10 (twenty years ago)

Sylvia Brown predicted on Montel that he'd be found guilty, and she's never wrong.

― The Brainwasher (Twilight), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:12 (twenty years ago)

I don't think the Prosecution's case seemed strong enough to get a conviction on anything but the booze charge. Whether we believe he's guilty is immaterial: he shouldn't be convicted on the evidence as presented.

― Jetlag Willy (noodle vague), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:12 (twenty years ago)

SWEAT, FREAK

― Actor Sizemore fails drug test with fake penis (jingleberries), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:18 (twenty years ago)

ihttp://www.drudgereport.com/mjp.jpg

― StanM, Monday, 6 June 2005 17:19 (twenty years ago)

OJ v. 2005.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:19 (twenty years ago)

How do you figure? MJ isn't obviously guilty, and there's lot's of (character) evidence that points toward this being a 'get money scheme' by the parents of the accuser.

― The Brainwasher (Twilight), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:21 (twenty years ago)

he means that after the trial, MJ is gonna spare no expense to find the REAL MOLESTER!

― Shakey Mo Collier, Monday, 6 June 2005 17:22 (twenty years ago)

The overzealous unscrupulous law enforcement is the same though.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:23 (twenty years ago)

This whole thing was an unbelievable waste of taxpayer time and money. In a way it reminds me of that movie My Brother's Keeper. Yes, crimes were committed, but all parties involved -- Jackson, the kid, the kid's family -- are living in such a bizarre alternate reality the usual rules can't properly be applied. An equitable financial arrangement worked out by the parties' attorneys, is the only thing that makes sense. Where is your head at when you're being held prisoner and yet you're riding around town in a limo on your way to get a bikini wax? That's the case you're presenting to a prosecutor?

― Mark (MarkR), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:24 (twenty years ago)

it is not in my area of expertise but i thought all these years they were waiting for a kid who would go thru with a criminal trial, and not just be bought out?

― noizem duke (noize duke), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:25 (twenty years ago)

i think that he's guilty, but that the prosecution didn't prove it beyond a reasonable doubt --> which means that the jury should acquit. again, just like OJ.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:25 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, whoever made the decision to go to trial with this has fucked things up big time. And what's worse is that if Michael Jackson has a sexual interest in kids, when he's found not guilty this time, the chances of him being prosecuted in the future will be close to zero.

― Jetlag Willy (noodle vague), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:28 (twenty years ago)

OJ was proven guilty beyond a resonable doubt, he just lucked out and got the dumbest judge and jury in the US.

― mjfan, Monday, 6 June 2005 17:28 (twenty years ago)

Amateurist, the "arguable" is in reference to reports that Mr. Jackson is heavily in debt, his spending habits notwithstanding.

― The Mad Puffin, Monday, 6 June 2005 17:28 (twenty years ago)

Surely the glove fits this time?

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:29 (twenty years ago)

har

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 6 June 2005 17:35 (twenty years ago)

Time to print up my FREE MICHEAL JACKSON shirts!

Check it out: you are fools to think you know the first fucking thing about MJ's private life. Because whatever you think you know you learned from what the Press says they heard from a Lawyer who says that his client said that the maid said something about a famous rich person who they are trying to sue. Which means you know five layers of bullshit.

NOT GUILTY! (of this particular fondling!)

― Bobby Peru (Bobby Peru), Monday, 6 June 2005 18:36 (twenty years ago)

http://www.amaisb.pt/imagenotfound/michael.jpg

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 6 June 2005 18:59 (twenty years ago)

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