www.warr.org - C or D?

*takes bait, visits*

Hmmm.

Let's play "Guess Who This Is About."

This sounds like a retreat to commercial norms: there are fewer tracks but also fewer long ones; there's standard rock instrumentation on more tracks; ***'s vocals are more subdued. The most significant change for the worse is the appearance of several drum machine-driven dance tracks, which sound just about like anyone else's dance tracks: simple pentatonic riffs and simpler repeated refrains with no emotional power. Then there are louder revisitings of previous work. The piano ballads, usually a high point, sound like ***'s recycling ***self: "***" is another reworking of "Purple Rain," "***" sounds like a tossoff despite its orchestrated backing. Lyrically, I get next to nothing out of these - I expected it to be obscure but I'd at least hoped for some exploration of difficult issues (there probably is, but it's so opaque it doesn't matter) and some cool catchphrases. This could be a transitional piece, or it could be the beginning of a slide into cult-artist irrelevance - time will tell. Meanwhile, don't pick this up unless you're already a devotee.

Well leaving Purple Rain in there kind of gives it away.

Nope!

This, my friends, is Wilson & Alroy's review of Tori Amos's "From the Choirgirl Hotel."

So, in short, DUD.

Jesus Christ... because the charts at that time were full of meshes of Lilith Fair and dance beats, weren't they? Sweet fuck.

youre not meant to take them too seriously......

Point me to a single joke or an instance of wit in this review or on that site.

Sorry, that was mean, I'll rephrase: perhaps I didn't pick up on the lightness of the tone. But it sure looks like they're trying to appear "respectable" - discographies, release dates, star ratings, etc.

I've never heard that Tori album, but the review doesn't seem offensively bad.

For dinosaur-rock-lovin' fogeys they tend to give '90s (then-contemporary) pop/hip-hop/etc. a pretty fair shake.

Ridiculous dud!! Their writing style is just like Robert Christgau's!!

For their regular-Joe's-writing-about-their-record-collection approach, I'll give them a classic. I don't get the Xgau comparison.

i dont get the xgau comparison either, at least WARR make sense.

I always thought this was the perfect review:

Robert Christgau, Rock Records Of The '70s (1981)
What interests me about this collection of 3,000 sketchy, self-congratulatory, liberal guilt-consumed reviews - often two sentences with the second thrown away on a flat joke - is that the way I feel about Christgau is the way people who don't like this site feel about me. But that's no reason for you to read it.
C- (DBW)

Completely CLASSIC. I'm actually here thanks to them, since they had a link up to FT.

I'm not sure what to think of these guys. I'm leaning towards dud. If they're taking the piss, I haven't had a single roffle yet. If not...yikes.

How about another "Guess Who This Is About."

Lord have mercy, *** gets sensitive. There's a weepy piano and mellotron ballad ("***"). There's a remarkably thin guitar and mellotron instrumental ("***"). Even the hard rockers have more emphasis on melodicism ("***"). Trouble is, the melodies are listless and obvious and the lyrics are trivial at best: crunching riffs are the band's forte, and there are just too few here. In fact, there's not a single classic tune on the disc, though a few songs - "***," "***," "***" - will satisfy the undiscerning headbanger in you. Did I mention the astonishingly dull, blessedly brief sound effect experiment ("***")?

Oh no not Sabbath

I kinda like them because their opinions are kinda unpredictable and their justifications are usually unlike that of what I'm used to in music criticism.

That writing is so dry I'm surprised it hasn't gone up in flames yet.

They dismiss Abba therefore screw them.

they are cunts!