You can improve Coldplay by...

72 results found:

http://www.morbidangel.com/images/members/davememberpage.jpg

Pushing knitting needles through your eardrums.
-- John Justen (johnjuste...), June 17th, 2005. (johnjusten)

that would take some serious coordination and flexibility.

Given their ballad dominated, and not particularly dance oriented, output, this would look interesting.. :-)

where is pdf and poops mcgee to cover my back?!?

-- Ian Riese-Moraine: exposing ambitious careerists as charlatans since 1986.

Beat you to it. :)

click the Chris Martin tongue pic - is that the official AP comment?

...by adding The RZA!

Problem Solved!

http://www.morbidangel.com/images/members/davememberpage.jpg

Poor Morbid Angel. I doubt he would want to look exactly like Nikki Sixx.

PLEASE get rid of the outfits. so strange...i mean, they don't mean anything do they? i know that it's always fun to make fun of coldplay, but still...and i don't really have anything against them...

that first song on saturday night live last night! ahhhhhh! so much flailing around for....what? so much energy expelled for nothing tunes that don't mean anything! kinda reminds me of bush a little. cryptic lyrics, lotsa "passion", but what do you get for all that? the flailing and the outfits and the meaningless songs and the banging of drums also remind me of arcade fire. and arcade fire have always just sounded like a dire send-up of echo/bunnymen who also banged on drums and had silly lyrics and wore funny outfits, but....somehow made you believe that something was going on that was exciting. somehow. (well, to me when i was 16. so one man's echo is one kid's arcade fire, i guess. certainly echo were dismissed by older folks too back then.)

sorry, yesterday's news. just that they were on last night. i saw them do these songs on jon stewart and they weren't as silly on his show for some reason.

http://images.starpulse.com/Photos/Previews/Coldplay-mm07.jpg

yeah Martin has so much more energy on stage than, say, the Gallaghers. why do UK's two biggest rock bands fuck with their audience like this?

scott's instincts are unerring

although as i am not quite at peace, i really do have something against them.

that single of theirs sounds better here:

http://991.com/newGallery/Scouting-For-Girls-Scouting-For-Girl-429966.jpg

I have never knowingly heard a Scouting For Girls song. Are they that bad? Or just overwhelmingly mediocre?

It's just diminishing returns really. If you find Radiohead too strange, there's Coldplay. Coldplay too thoughtful, there's Keane. For the valuable indie tween market, there's Scouting for Girls. You probably have heard them - y'know the one that goes "She's so lovely, She's so lovely."

As you say, overwhelmingly mediocre, which is a worse offense in my book that being good or bad. At least good or bad provoke a reaction.

Anyway, Coldplay don't need to be improved. Not much at least, although I would say that Eno improved them somewhat on the last album. He wouldn't have done if he made them write less catchy tunes, but he didn't. He just kept the tunefulness and added more atmosphere.

Treblekicker, you're utterly wrong. Scouting for Girls are the worst shit ever

i actually really like scouting for girls's "heartbeat", it's corny in a lovable way.

OK, that was much much MUCH worse than I ever thought it would be.

For a start, that singer has the most punchable face I've ever seen in my life - how can they allow such a lumpy individual to be a pop star?

For a second they use the GONK GONK GONKLAPHONE for a bassline, ugh kill kill kill, and what a horrible horrible insipid piece of mawkish crap that song is. It's like drinking vanilla flavouring straight out of the bottle - it's so bland it actually hurts you. His voice is so... he's got that awful throaty tone he sings like he's the living personification of constipation. Actually, he wouldn't be slightly interesting if he did. He's just...

I didnt' think they could make a blander version of Maroon 5 but they only just gone and did.

Ha. The thing is, someone will come along and build on their shit... 'cos they sell, like Coldplay and then they'll be the new Scouting For Girls!

Anyway, I'm off to listen to some that aggressive, rebellious music I like. Bit of Blue Nile or Stars of the Lid maybe?

Oh, is that what that thread's about?

What am I doing even reading this thread, anyway? it's about sodding Coldplay!

It was just that thing about Tesco Indie came up in blog view and was so funny I had to read who it was about.

"Heartbeat" sounds like a great song. Not as great as Coldplay, but the world still needs more music like that.

Heartbeat? It's just a line.

That one didn't seem quite as appealing, but still better than 95 per cent of all the R&B and hip-hop in the charts at least.

...going to a concert of theirs with a machine-gun

...turning the radio off when they are played

...making sonic youth cover them

Has there been a happy hardcore or hi-NRG version of "Clocks" yet?

"Clocks" was remixed several times. Norwegian duo Röyksopp made a remixed version of the song, pressed on the 1000 limited edition 12" vinyl records; 100 of which were made available through the band's official website. The release features a remixed version of "God Put A Smile Upon Your Face'" by Def Inc featuring Mr Thing.[22] The version placed at number five in the Triple J Hottest 100, 2003 (the original version of the song placed at number 69 the previous year).[23][24] In addition, there have been several other dance remixes of "Clocks", including those by Clokx and Deep Dish plus a mashup from Gabriel and Dresden's 2003 Essential Mix which appeared on various P2P networks. A remixed version of the song is included on the soundtrack of the video game Dance Dance Revolution: Hottest Party for the Wii console. The Chinese woman group Twelve Girls Band also covered the song, released on their album Eastern Energy.[25] Also, this song was performed by Lewis Kiernan, Sam Rogers and students, in a Ladymead Community School assembly. To listen and watch, type in "Ladymead Clocks Cover" into YouTube. On keyboard is Lewis Kiernan and on drums is Sam Rogers. The tour manager was Mr George Minnis. Another popular rework of the song exists on the Rhythms del Mundo album which was a non-profit album that included many other prominent UK, US and Irish artists.

I kind of really want hear this Twelve Girls Band version.

i would like Meshuggah to cover Coldplay

xp: Okay yes, this does greatly improve Coldplay!

Quite.

That techno version might have been OK if they had kept the actual melody (and I mean, in its entirely, in the exact same order as it was composed)

They... did? Unless you mean that wholly uninspiring vocal line...?

The vocal line is the only thing that counts, not that annoying repetitive piano part that made "Clocks" one of their worst songs.

I think Coldplay need a dose of Heavy Metal in their bones. I'm not sure if someone already suggested that idea or not, though.

Repetition, drone and minimalism: Bad
Verse, bridge and chorus: Good

Well I think Kraftwerk should cover Talk.

Actually, again, if they kept the entire melody and verses the way they were composed, that would be kind of cool. :)
(Otherwise, it'd just be "Computer Love")

best use of 'clocks' i've heard yet is it being sampled on brandy's 'should i go', so that's one obvious way to improve coldplay.

this is the 12 girls band version:

canon888888 (2 days ago) Show Hide
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Frankly, I don't notice nor appreciate this song "CLOCK". But after listening to 12 Girls Band playing this song, I like it so much. Then I searched and listen to the original or others playing it, NO ONE can compare or near to the standard of 12 Girls Band. These girls are really really fantastic and god-send musicians. Now I believe China has full of talented people and only reveal to the world with their rising power.

(sadly it's not as interesting as that comment would imply)

okay now I am even madder at myself that I passed up the opportunity to see 12 Girls Band

Actually, a more interesting version of "Clocks" would be to get away with the piano theme and the Motown-influenced drum beat and use only the actual vocal melody, with a completely different arrangement, for instance a ballad arrangement. That'd probably improve it, although its realiance on the piano riff has probably made it a bit too repetitive for its own good anyway. Most Coldplay songs are way better than that one.

HuH! I just made a post to this thread and it didn't show up.

I was gonna say, I didn't think anything could ever make me like a Coldplay song, but that 12 Girls Band cover is pretty darn sweet. How to make me like anything - put swhirly noises and girly vocals on it.

Repetition, drone and minimalism: Bad

so stop posting already

this is the brandy song which samples 'clocks' -

haha illustrated with an aaliyah slideshow

I was gonna ask about that!

I would say the Brandy effort is more interesting, because she takes it and composes another proper song on top of it.
(Just like Coldplay did with "Computer Love" ;) )

I'm sure this would be some sort of interesting eunuch band if Hongro loathed them.

Am I the only one who gets reminded of Mickey Mouse when hearing Chris Martin's voice=

brandy also sings "think i wanna hear some coldplay" elsewhere on the same album before quoting one of their songs (i am not familiar enough with their oeuvre to know which one). it's not strictly relevant but it is an amazing song

A bit off-topic, but this use of electro in some of these modern R&B songs is kind of interesting. If only they had turned down the bass drums a little and instead used actual snare drums in addition to those thin handclaps, it might have been kinda cool.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/10/25/article-1080636-023AEDFF000005DC-479_468x374.jpg

Looks more and more like Robin Williams every day.

http://www.hotelchatter.com/files/3/monicastephen.jpg

Rearranging the letters in their name for Lady Clop

i'm really just putting this here to horrify geir

http://www.vivalahova.com

Jean Luc Ponty solos!

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Friday, June 17, 2005 3:08 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark

alternately: frippertronics

Lots more big rusty bells.

They need a Bez.

The Black Ark