Women getting treated differently at record stores than guys... still prevalent or hopefully waning?

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Lauren's story about being told "WE DON'T HAVE THE NEW JULIE RUIN ALBUM YET" by a record store clerk (a while ago) without provocation triggered me asking this question. Not that the record store clerk in the above story was necessary targeting women only in his derision.. I don't know.. BUT..

It's not uncommon to have record stores that have very misogynistic staff. One example in the NW is Pl*t*n*/\/\ Records in Seattle (and possible it's mothership store in Portland).. Dance/DJ record store. There are a number of female dance DJs in town here, and they've almost always exclusively been given the oh-you-must-be-here-with-HIM treatment whenever they bring their males friends along for record previewing/shopping.. i.e. being ignored because they're obviously there as boy-toys and not looking to buy records. This of course has given the store a rather bad reputation in town amongst DJs of all sexes... minus their friends. They're also a store that sells equipment, like mixers, speakers, lights, etc., unlike other dance record stores, so I take it this is why they're still alive (though barely I'm guessing, as they keep revolving staff and their bargain prices get even cheaper.)

But since i'm a guy, I can't relate, literally. Do women record/CD shoppers here still get treated badly in general at stores, exclusively? Has it increased? Decreased? Curious.

― donut e-goo (donut), Monday, 20 June 2005 16:52 (twenty years ago)

My gf worked at a record store. The two older males who ran the shop treated her like shit. Ass pinching, expecting her to clean up, etc. The younger guys who worked there were not typically big douchebags though.

― Ian John50n (orion), Monday, 20 June 2005 16:58 (twenty years ago)

I've never worked at a record store, but I want to as a first job (should I reconcider?). I'm always treated nicely by both male and female employs at record stores. Better than by bus drivers, definately. Bus drivers are jerks to me, usually.

― Aja (aja), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:02 (twenty years ago)

There are a number of female dance DJs in town here, and they've almost always exclusively been given the oh-you-must-be-here-with-HIM treatment whenever they bring their males friends along for record previewing/shopping

Vinyl shopping is somewhat distinct from CD shopping ... in my experience, 95% of crate-diggers are male, and I'm usually surprised when I see a girl walking around your average vinyl shop with an armful of records. Of course, that doesn't mean that the staff have a right to ignore or patronize her, but they probably have no idea how to deal with female customers.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:12 (twenty years ago)

Oh, and to answer the thread question ... as long as 95% of the crate-diggers are male, then this treatment probably won't wane. At regular CD shops, the clientele is more 50-50, and the gender breakdown of the staff is also approaching 50-50, so yes, I should hope that this sexist crap will wane.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:14 (twenty years ago)

The same as one deals with male customers, right?
Is it common in Toronto for vinyl dudes to be like "Yo, I banged this chick last night..." when ringing up yr records? xpost

― Ian John50n (orion), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:15 (twenty years ago)

Of course, that doesn't mean that the staff have a right to ignore or patronize her, but they probably have no idea how to deal with female customers.

...or any females for that matter(?)

― PB, Monday, 20 June 2005 17:16 (twenty years ago)

"but they probably have no idea how to deal with female customers."

Yeah cuz treating them like human beings is such a foreign concept.

I've never observed this dismissive phenomenon actually (if anything male record stores clerks seem OVERLY soliticious to female customers in my view) but I have no doubt it exists.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:16 (twenty years ago)

I did want to stress that I use the word "differently" in my subject title, and not "badly"...

I'm also wanting to call out record stores that give women benefits as opposed to guys, in addition to the opposite.

Except for the example above, I can happily say that, talking to record store staff and knowing many of them here, they wouldn't/don't treat men or women differently at all. But I'm curious if this is national or just Seattle/Pac NW/west coast/etc.

― donut e-goo (donut), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:16 (twenty years ago)

Nah SF is pretty decent about this. Part of it is that most those old guard rekkid shops have gone out of business in the last ten years. And there are a ton of female record geeks in this town. I can't think of one record store I go to that doesn't have at least one female employee.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:19 (twenty years ago)

My girlfriend gets chatted up by record store clerks frequently, too.

― Ian John50n (orion), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:19 (twenty years ago)

I mean that has more than one or two employees anyway. And isn't in the Castro.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:20 (twenty years ago)

I always buy vinyl. Last time I went to the record store I bought three things on vinyl and the person at the register was a guy. He was very very nice. Especially conscidering the fact I wasn't there immediately because I needed to borrow two dollars from my mom and she wasn't giving it to me, and I knocked over the business cards when I handed him the money.

Also, the bill was $52.01 and he gave me back the penny I gave him to make it even and took care of it. I know that is stupid, but every time I get a bill like that the cashier always rudely asks me if I have a penny and he said, "No, I've got it," and handed it back.

― Aja (aja), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:20 (twenty years ago)

You bought three records for $52.01??!?!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:21 (twenty years ago)

I bought In Your Honor on vinyl and that costed $35. I also bought a magazine.

Was there something else?? I'll go look at the receipt and report back.

― Aja (aja), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:24 (twenty years ago)

$35???? That's crazy talk!

― Ian John50n (orion), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:26 (twenty years ago)

Yeah cuz treating them like human beings is such a foreign concept.

Exactly (also see: PB's comment)

I've never observed this dismissive phenomenon actually (if anything male record stores clerks seem OVERLY soliticious to female customers in my view) but I have no doubt it exists.

I really do think there's a vinyl/CD divide at work here. Moreso than CD shops, vinyl shops are loud, chaotic, messy places filled with patrons who act like assholes if you touch a record that they'd set aside for five seconds. There's definitely an alpha-male element to getting what you want when shopping there.

― MindInRewind (Barry Bruner), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:27 (twenty years ago)

Ian OTM! I've never spent $35 on a record in my life!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:29 (twenty years ago)

I almost bought a record for $40 yesterday, but sense prevailed.

― Ian John50n (orion), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:30 (twenty years ago)

MIR, that's interesting, because I've experienced that at least a few times (the nervous don't-touch-my-WAX-bitch! patrons) in L.A. and NYC, but never in the Northwest.

Ian OTM! I've never spent $35 on a record in my life!

haha, if it were a decent copy of Metal Box, my $35 would be out of my wallet in nanoseconds.

― donut e-goo (donut), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:30 (twenty years ago)

Used 12" 2.99

Used 12" 4.99

NME 4.98

In Your 34.98
Honor
Foo
Fighters

Sub total 47.94
8.5000 4.07
Sales Tax
Total Sale 52.01

Yeah, that's what I spent it on. Plus there were other things I wanted, but didn't have enough money for so my mom bought them for me and I have to do extra chores to get them.

― Aja (aja), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:31 (twenty years ago)

Considering you are twice Aja's age and I presume are still making good money, I don't think the situation is comparable!

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:31 (twenty years ago)

True. My folks complained that $5.99 was too much when I asked them to buy XTC's Black Sea when I was a kid. (Then again, maybe that is $35 today given inflation since)

― donut e-goo (donut), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:33 (twenty years ago)

I work at a record store (see name), and my boss has said on MANY occasions that he keeps the staff under 50 people so he can sexually harass the girls and not get sued. (can anyone tell me the logic of this?)

― JD from CDepot, Monday, 20 June 2005 17:33 (twenty years ago)

It's four records and they are VERY THICK. It's made of the thickest vinyl there is. I forget what it's called.

Plus, you get an extra song and the sleeves the pictures you get in the booklet with the cd version.

― Aja (aja), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:33 (twenty years ago)

There will only be 50 people witnessing his ass-pinching instead of 51. Duh.

(Haha, in other words, JD, no.)

― donut e-goo (donut), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:34 (twenty years ago)

foo fighters in making four LP opus shockah!

― Ian John50n (orion), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:34 (twenty years ago)

i get in and get out. i hate the atmosphere in most record stores - esp. amoeba. but i don't think its b/c of sexism. i've never had old school types treat me badly though. its mostly the skinny mod dudes who just don't have the time of day for you or anything...just puts a damper on excitement of getting some good music.

― Susan Douglas (Susan Douglas), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:35 (twenty years ago)

...just puts a pamper on excitement of getting some good music.

― PappaWheelie (PappaWheelie), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:37 (twenty years ago)

Having worked at a record store, I find that dudes (of all ages) behave with a weird and prickly amalgam of condescension and wonder around women who like a wide variety of music (and shop for it.) Some of them are more overt about it than others.

― The Landlord's Daughter (The Landlord's Daughter), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:40 (twenty years ago)

I love how Aja has been sixteen for, like, three years now.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 20 June 2005 17:49 (twenty years ago)

I'm only 14. And I've only been that old for 4 months and 6 days, so I don't know what you're talking about.

Is that how old the album is?? When was that thing released?

― Aja (aja), Monday, 20 June 2005 18:25 (twenty years ago)

The worst treatment I've had at record stores is being ignored, which is not that big a deal. At most of the places I've been to I've never had a problem.

― Leon C. (Ex Leon), Monday, 20 June 2005 18:31 (twenty years ago)

It's made of the thickest vinyl there is. I forget what it's called.

You mean that vinyl siding from Sears?

― walter kranz (walterkranz), Monday, 20 June 2005 18:40 (twenty years ago)

Being ignored at record stores is not necessarily unique to being female (although in this case it may have been.)

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 20 June 2005 18:40 (twenty years ago)

It's made of the thickest vinyl there is. I forget what it's called.
You mean that vinyl siding from Sears?

-- walter kranz (kranz_walte...), June 20th, 2005 12:40 PM. (walterkranz)

Nah. I think it's its measurement in grams or something.

― Aja (aja), Monday, 20 June 2005 18:43 (twenty years ago)

i've never experienced any sexist treatment in a record store. but maybe i've just been going to more enlightened stores. or maybe it's because i don't feel paranoid about being a chick, so i'm not noticing.

― jody l'anti-vierge (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:06 (twenty years ago)

people (of all genders) let themselves get WAY too intimidated by record store employees.

― jody l'anti-vierge (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:09 (twenty years ago)

the logic, my friend, is that he is a douche. but i still like him more than brian.

― Zack Richardson (teenagequiet), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:16 (twenty years ago)

xpost why does intimidation always come into play? If a given clerk is an asshole, they're an asshole. Painting them all with the same brush is silly obv.(my experiences are mostly A-OK, for instance) but when someone(anyone) is a dick are people not supposed to notice?

― tremendoid (tremendoid), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:22 (twenty years ago)

at my store we have much more of a problem with the customers being sleazy to the female employees.

― strng hlkngtn, Monday, 20 June 2005 19:23 (twenty years ago)

Haha oh yeah that's always a problem although I think comic book shop ladies have it EVEN worse than record store ones.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:25 (twenty years ago)

50 people is the limit for a lot of government regulations between a "Small Business" and a plain old "business." Sometimes Small Businesses get treated differently under certain regulations. I can't imagine that includes sexual harassment rules, but maybe there's some loophole being passed around on the sexual harasser web boards.

xpost

― The Sandwich-Eating Hand (The Sandwich-Eating Hand), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:25 (twenty years ago)

haha well i kind of think any woman insane enough to work at a comic book store should know what she's in for

― strng hlkngtn, Monday, 20 June 2005 19:27 (twenty years ago)

Zack, that fucking asshole tried to get me to clean up all the cigarette butts off of the sidewalk and parking lot because i wasnt being "productive"

meanwhile, me and the other two buffers have cleaned every cd in the store....

― JD from CDepot, Monday, 20 June 2005 19:28 (twenty years ago)

(xpost)I don't think anyone can reasonably assume that they will be lectured for hours on the reason why the second Flash was actually not only a better character than the first but that recent issues of the comic have delved into the issues of hyper-speed in ways that the original creaters couldn't have predicted.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:30 (twenty years ago)

haha well i kind of think any woman insane enough to work at a comic book store should know what she's in for

And wearing short skirts and tank tops is asking to be harassed too.

― Ian John50n (orion), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:31 (twenty years ago)

I don't think he means anyone's asking to be harrassed so much as there are inherent dangers working around geeks.

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:33 (twenty years ago)

Look just cuz some women like Sandman and halter tops doesn't mean they are "asking for it" haha

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:33 (twenty years ago)

not necessarily harrassment-related ones, either; more like awkwardness-related ones. at least, that's how I read it.

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:33 (twenty years ago)

You don't go to the same comic shops I do.

― Ian John50n (orion), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:39 (twenty years ago)

haha I don't really go to comics shops much at all, honestly. so maybe I'm missing something.

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:41 (twenty years ago)

Aja, you are nuts for buying that for $35. I don't even pay $35 for long OOP albums with zany artwork by seminal Japanese noise rockers.

Growing up, I went to a comic shop staffed by mostly goth girls!

― #1 GARU G FAN (ex machina), Monday, 20 June 2005 19:45 (twenty years ago)

Oh, whatever Jon. That's not the craziest thing I've done. I don't know what my problem is. I have a fascination with vinyl, which makes no sense at all!!!!

― Aja (aja), Monday, 20 June 2005 20:01 (twenty years ago)

it actually makes tons of sense, and millions of americans suffer from the same fascination.

― Ian John50n (orion), Monday, 20 June 2005 20:07 (twenty years ago)

millons?

― jody l'anti-vierge (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 20 June 2005 20:08 (twenty years ago)

I doubt that.

― Aja (aja), Monday, 20 June 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

hundreds of thousands, then.

― Ian John50n (orion), Monday, 20 June 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

Uh no. But enough that's it's not a very special form of insanity.

― Alex in SF (Alex in SF), Monday, 20 June 2005 20:09 (twenty years ago)

LITERALLY DOZENS OF WHITE PEOPLE

― jody l'anti-vierge (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 20 June 2005 20:12 (twenty years ago)

my college girlfriend worked at the local comic shop. Comic Relief in Berkeley has several female employees. It's a smart move to employ women at such stores, as they encourage/facilitate impulse buying on the part of awkward teen males.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Monday, 20 June 2005 20:12 (twenty years ago)

aja, i think its cool you paid good money for a record you like. while i like things on the cheap, if i have to spend the money, i will. any extra cash i have goes towards records and shoes.

― maria tessa sciarrino (theoreticalgirl), Monday, 20 June 2005 20:13 (twenty years ago)

for every person who thinks my vinyl collection is cool, there are twenty who asks, "People still listen to records?"

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Monday, 20 June 2005 20:15 (twenty years ago)

LITERALLY DOZENS OF WHITE PEOPLE

-- jody l'anti-vierge (theundergroundhom...), June 20th, 2005 2:12 PM.

But I'm only half Caucasian.

― Aja (aja), Monday, 20 June 2005 20:16 (twenty years ago)

"People still listen to records?"

Oddly, the people asking me this question are usually of my parents' generation (or older). Kids don't seem to care either way.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Monday, 20 June 2005 20:17 (twenty years ago)

Up on the hill
People never stare
They just don’t care
Chinese music under banyan trees
Here at the duuuude ranch above the sea

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Monday, 20 June 2005 20:18 (twenty years ago)

i think that clerks ask ladies if they need help more often. whether this is to say that they think girls don't know their way around record stores, need more help, or if these clerks are just trying to flirt I'm not so sure. probably a bit of both.

Sound and Fury [lower east side record store now defunct] had a couch. the employees would half in jest call it 'the girlfriend couch.' while the boyfriend browsed, the girls would have somewhere to sit and leaf through magazines.

I think that record store clerks are less likely to stand around and talk shop with a girl. this might be a blessing or a curse, i haven't quite figured. we are somehow exempt from that indie rock cock comparison 'how many seven inches do you own?' 'what rare records do you own?' 'how much money do you spend on records?' 'what bands are you friends with?' nonsense, or maybe they just assume we can't compete.

― jane (jane), Monday, 20 June 2005 22:10 (twenty years ago)

Some of the biggest music collectors I know are female... almost half of them actually.

― donut e-goo (donut), Monday, 20 June 2005 22:15 (twenty years ago)

the biggest record collector I know is female. She's always going on about old Willie Bobo LPs and such.

― Gear! (can Jung shill it, Mu?) (Gear!), Monday, 20 June 2005 22:16 (twenty years ago)

i've never had a problem shopping for records. snooty record store employees seem equal-opportunity-snooty, in my experience. instruments, though, are a different matter. i remember the first guitar i bought, at around age 18...the dude at the register asked me if i was 'buying it for my boyfriend'.

― geeta, Monday, 20 June 2005 22:45 (twenty years ago)

I've never noticed record store employees treating me any different, in Seattle or in Boston. Then again, most of my visits are walk in, find the album or two that I want, pay and leave. I've found I'm far too dependent on reviews, "people who bought X also bought", and other information online these days. If I'm in a record store & looking at CDs that I know nothing about, I'm not going to buy it until I've gone home & read a review or two, so I don't really go browsing around stores often.

― lyra (lyra), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 08:18 (twenty years ago)

I can think of a few occasions at work where male customers have stared straight past me as if to indicate that they wish to be served by my female workmate, who is the only woman working in the store most of the time. I don't like this treatment, but I don't know what it's supposed to mean.

― Deluxe (Damian), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 09:41 (twenty years ago)

Grow some tits mate

― Sara Sherr, Blogger and Stereolab Fan (ex machina), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 11:04 (twenty years ago)

haha they should simulate this on amazon: "it looks like that one girl with the royal trux tshirt has THE BRAVERY on the instore p.a. today"

― g e o f f (gcannon), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 11:14 (twenty years ago)

Short shameful confession: At certain long-gone DC-area record stores I enjoyed the experience of getting a "cute girl" discount, or seeing a worshipful "Madame has good taste" in a clerk's eyes. Still, reverse discrimination is still discrimination.

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 13:09 (twenty years ago)

every woman should be treated like a princess even if she is a skank.

― fatbob, Tuesday, 21 June 2005 14:37 (twenty years ago)

i think that clerks ask ladies if they need help more often.

This always happens to my wife when we hit record stores. We'll both be walking around looking for stuff, not acting any differently, the clerks always come up and ask her if she needs help finding anything while totally ignoring every guy in the store. She takes great offense at this, I think it's pretty condescending and stupid as well.

― joygoat (joygoat), Tuesday, 21 June 2005 17:20 (twenty years ago)

you know, i'm actually usually treated with condescension, strangely enough, when i'm asking for something really obscure that the counter guys haven't heard of...and i'm usually asking very earnestly and directly, with just artist and title. Somehow that's when they're the most dismissive, i.e. b/c i'm asking for something they haven't heard of it must be fringe/freakish (as if i was a bluegrass or new age geek or something) or just plain irrelevant (to them).

― robinn edgerton (edgertor), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 03:01 (twenty years ago)

The classic is the music store, where *I* go to buy a guitar and the salesperson addresses my male companion.

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 03:05 (twenty years ago)

this thread is making me appreciate my record shop even more! and i already loved it in there. i don't find the staff a bit condescending. not to me anyway. and i love it when they come and ask me if i need help because then we can have chats about stuff. i don't know if they ask me more often than the regular fellas. don't care much either.

― gem (trisk), Wednesday, 22 June 2005 03:07 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.