Lyricists Who Would Be No Fun to Live With

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No fun, not because they write rotten lyrics or they're awful people, but because the "you" they address in naturalistic songs about romantic partners would be a sorry position to find yourself in.

― Curt, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It seems that Aimee Mann's songs are always using innuendo to score clever points against lovers who don't meet her high standards. (That is, when she's not busy ragging about the lack of personal attention she receives from multinational record conglomerates.)

"So don't sit there and think you're off of the hook
By saying there is no use changing 'cause
That's just what you are"

Ouch! That kind of thing...

― Curt, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Dealing with Alanis' lyrics would be annoying enough. Now imagine her singing them to you. A double torture of smarm!

― Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Trent Reznor:

"....I wanna fuck you like an animal...."

"...I will make you hurt....."

etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum

― Alex in NYC, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

#1 is sorta sexy, no?

― Sterling Clover, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Not by Trent, thanks.

― Alex in NYC, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Depends on who's singing it. Not Trent.

― Norman Phay, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Damn you, Alex in Manhattan ;)

― Norman Phay, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Mark Lanegan doesn't strike me as a real bundle of cheer... I'll bet his pad is dark and dusty.

― Andy, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Meredith Brooks for that 'I'm a bitch, I'm a lover' song. She's trying to invoke that she is some moon-goddess-feminine-spirit so therefore she can change her mind at any point and never take any responsibility cos she's a wild n crazy wooman! Her and Alanis. If you forgot Valentine's Day it'd be her next song.

― Evangeline, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Also, that Follow Your Daughter Home song. I think it's by BTO but I've always hated those lyrics. I would hate to live with my dad if he was like him.

Hey man, follow your daughter home. Hey man, follow your daughter home. Hey man, follow your daughter home. Keep her out of mischief, follow your daughter home. What are the boys like she's runnin' and dancin' with, follow your daughter home. Is she still a virgin? Follow your daughter home. Staying out late with the boys past midnight, follow your daughter home.

― Evangeline, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

J.Foxx:

"John can you mow the lawn?"
"I'm a liquid!"

― mark s, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

whoever writes lyrix for linkin park. so much whinging.

― di, Wednesday, 6 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ani DeFranco. Well it would kind of cool if she found me painfully irresistable and was having sex with me the whole time and begging me not to tell anybody so as not to ruin her warrior-sister cred. Especially if she was having a real crisis of conscience about it and writing even more strident lyrics as a result.

― dave q, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Does Noam Chomsky count?

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Substitue "Kathleen Hanna" for "Ani DiFranco" in Dave's post above - voila!

― Clarke B., Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd say Pink,but it depends on what is meant by naturalistic in this case and whether she writes her own lyrics or not.

― Damian, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Mac Davis would be pretty toxic. So would Cat Power.

― M. Matos, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Lawrence from Felt/Denim/Go-Kart Mozart.

― MarkH, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Is Nick Cave simply too obvious?

― Colin Meeder, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Morrissey...for one thing, you wouldn't know whether 'you' were supposed to be a boy or a girl. Also, you'd have to get over the nagging suspicion that all those love songs are really addressed to himself.

― Justyn Dillingham, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Michael Jackson. That yelping would freak-ah me out.

― helenfordsdale, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Er . . . Jay-Z? Who'd wanna be one of HIS "Girls Girls Girls"?

Cue mass affirmative response from all female ILM posters.

― Terry Shannon, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If I'd be a woman my no-man would definitely be Robert Wratten. He has been filling his albums with laments about his lost love Annemari for about ten years. Can this guy ever let go?

― alex in mainhattan, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The only worse fate would be the guy who shares a flat with mopey Robert after the breakup.

― Curt, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

it depends on what is meant by naturalistic

By that I meant "other than Trent Reznor".

― Curt, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Pink circa Can't Take Me Home would be great... Pink circa Mizzundastood! would be painful.

― Sterling Clover, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

God, I wouldn't mind living with Pink at all... you'd always be getting a party started.

― Andy, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

800-pound gorilla lurking in shadows of this thread: Leonard Cohen.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Leonard Cohen? Why? He is a little bit old, isn't he? I guess the thread does not imply that you have to live with the lyricist all your life. That would be impossible with Leonard, I guess. He has/had a "faible" to change his partner from time to time.

― alex in mainhattan, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

A lot of Bernie Taupin can piss me off--see "Since God Invented Girls" by Elton John.

― Ashley Andel, Wednesday, 13 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

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