A dissection of truly awful lyrics

death cab for cutie would qualify. google some of it

awful lyrics not bye the content of what they say are made...

I am the flower you are the seed
We walked in the garden
We planted a tree

Heart's "All I Want to Do is Make Love to You" came on VH1 Classic the other morning, and these lines prompted me to wonder "Was it a bonsai or a redwood?"

Steve Holy's "I Got a New Girlfriend"...holy feck do those lyrics suck

Anastacia packs more cliches per minute into "You'll Never Be Alone" than any other song I've ever heard:

The world is changing
and time is spinning fast
it's so amazing how you came into my life
I know it seems all hope is gone
I know you feel you can't be strong
and once again the story ends with you and I

And anytime you feel like you just can't go on
just hold on to my love
and you'll never be alone

Hold on
we can make it through the fire
and my love
I'm forever by your side
and you know
if you should ever call my name
I'll be right there
you'll never be alone

Hopeless to describe
the way I feel for you
no matter how I try
words would never do
I looked into your eyes to find
as long as love is alive
there ain't nothing we can't make it through

Anytime, or only for a while
don't worry
make a wish
I'll be there to see you smile
oooh

Hold on
we can make it throught the fire
and my love
I'm forever by your side
and you know
if you should ever call my name
I'll be right there
you'll never be alone

Through the fire, by your side
I will be there for you so I'm, don't you worry
(and you know, I'll be there)
you'll never be a... alone
heya heyeaaaah

Hold on
we can make it through the fire
and my love
I'm forever by your side
and you know
if you should ever call my name
I'll be right there
oh baby, hold on

Hold on
(we can make it through the fire)
we can make it baby
and my love
said I'm forever by your side, yeah
(and you know)
if you should ever call my name
said I'll be, I'll be right there
oh, oh, ooooh

Hold on
yeah yeah
(we can make it through the fire)
yeah yeah
oh no
(my love)
I know, and you know (I'm forever by your side)
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
(and you know)
(if you should ever call my name)
(I'll be right there)

I can't decide if the last line here in Yes' "Love Will Find A Way" is genius or turd:

Here is my heart
waiting for you
here is my heart
I eat at Chez Nous

bit played out going on about life by des'ree but come on to fuck:

Life, oh life, oh life, oh life,
doo, doot doot dooo.
Life, oh life, oh life, oh life,
doo, doot dooo

I'm afraid of the dark,
'specially when I'm in a park
And there's no-one else around,

Ooh, I get the shivers
I don't want to see a ghost,
It's a sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news
(Repeat Chorus)

I'm a superstitious girl,
I'm the worst in the world
Never walk under ladders,
I keep a rabbit's tail

I'll take you up on a dare,
Anytime, anywhere
Name the place, I'll be there,
Bungee jumping, I don't care!
(Repeat Chorus)

life, doo, doot dooo
doo, doot dooo

So after all is said and done
I know I'm not the only one
Life indeed can be fun, if you really want to

Sometimes living out your dreams,
Ain't as easy as it seems
You wanna fly around the world,
In a beautiful balloon
(Repeat Chorus)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5Es1flO_2M

this plays all the time at my job and i have to post the music too because ugh just listen to it. it was already The Worst because holy fuck every single line follows the exact same melody and that melody is already sleepy as it is. and then i listened to the lyrics.

Walk across the courtyard,
Towards the library.
I can hear the insects buzz on the leaves, 'neath my feet.

Ramble up the stairwell,
To the hall of books.
Since we got the interweb these hardly get used.

Duck into the men's room,
Combing through my hair.
When God gave us mirrors he had no idea.

Looking for a lesson
In the periodicals,
There I spy you listening to the AM radio.

Karen of the Carpenters,
Singing in the rain.
Another lovely victim of the mirror's evil way.

It's not like you're not trying,
With a pencil in your hair,
To defy the beauty the good Lord put in there

Simple little bookworm,
Buried underneath
Is the sexiest librarian.
Take off those glasses and let down your hair for me.

So I watch you through the bookcase,
Imagining a scene.
You and I had dinner,
Spending time when you sleep.
And what can I say to you,
Lying there in bed.
These words were the kiss I would play in your head.

What is it inside our heads
That makes us do the opposite,
Makes us do the opposite
Of what's right for us.
'Cause everything be great,
And everything be good,
And everybody gave,
Like everybody could.

Sweetest little bookworm,
Hidden underneath
Is the sexiest librarian.
Take off those glasses and let down your hair for me.
Take off those glasses, and let down your hair for me.

Simple little beauty,
Heaven in your breath.
Simplest of pleasures
The world at its best.

lolol he really does sing "interweb"

obv been slated endlessly but that "life" song is just like...iconically shit.

SBing posters from 5 years ago, Classic or Pointless?

never heard my morning jacket... evidently dodged a bullet there. they *really* say 'interweb'?!!?

yeah. i didn't even notice that until i read through the verses.

my biggest problem is that at first the only words that stuck out was "little bookworm," which, when you combine it with the song's actual tone, sounds like it HAS to be about his daughter. and then he says "sexiest librarian" and the whole song is so creepy.

*strikes MMJ off the long list of bands I need to check out*

did actually listen to the clip, christ it sounds even worse than it reads, if that's possible. absolutely stagnant and unvarying melody, horrible half-rhymes and that irritating lazy southern drawl on the vowels.

made it through 10 seconds of that MMJ song

MMJ took a huge nosedive after It Still Moves. Kind of an infuriating career arc for that band, if you "dug the early stuff," man.

That song is epically awful.

Z was hardly a nosedive, & their new one is actually good. Can't really defend Librarian tho

Yeah, MMJ have a long history of some truly awful songs sprinkled throughout their catalog, with "Librarian" probably being the worst, but I can't emphasize enough that it is hardly representative of the band.

There I spy you listening to the AM radio

Listening to the radio in a LIBRARY? Instant irl SB from the nearest librarian.

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine

yeah i know a lot of critics opined that these were great lyrics but I don't agree. careless/careful reads Ok but sounds self-consciously writerly and forced when sung while the next line is just stupendously awkward - nobody would ever speak this phrase IRL, you'd say "you're the best thing I ever had."

"Gill Shepherd's got an appalling unemployment record"

Ramble up the stairwell,
To the hall of books.
Since we got the interweb these hardly get used.

Looking for a lesson
In the periodicals,
There I spy you listening to the AM radio.

Karen of the Carpenters,
Singing in the rain.
Another lovely victim of the mirror's evil way.

nah MMJ dude, The Carpenters don't get played on AM radio in the interweb era. if you're going for realism (but maybe you're not?) then it ought to be traffic reports, right-wing talk shows, sports broadcasts, religious nuts. I would suggest

Rush of the Limbaughs
poppin Oxycontin
another victim of some PC bullshit

the next line is just stupendously awkward - nobody would ever speak this phrase IRL, you'd say "you're the best thing I ever had."

― cold gettin' dumb (m coleman), Monday, July 11, 2011 6:12 AM (2 hours ago)

this isn't necessarily a bad thing, unless you think poetic diction doesn't belong in pop songs. there are times when when a novel, non-conversational phrase is less awkward rhythmically and phonetically than a similar phrase that people use IRL. "you're the best thing I ever had" doesn't suit the rhythm of that song at all; "you are the best thing that's ever been mine" is more "poetic", but it sounds better & it's still reasonably plainspoken w/in the context of the song. it's not like she's slipping into really over-the-top Elizabethan syntax, which would be bad.

I'm not a Taylor Swift groupie btw.