This Is The Thread Where We Name the Surgeries

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This is the thread where we name the surgeries we'd endure without the luxury of anaesthesia rather than watch that Staind video with the kid in the restaurant whose bourgeois family causes him such angst that all he can do is listen to his walkman and pull pained faces.

― John Darnielle, Saturday, 9 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Removal of calcium deposits from the lining of the urinary tract.

― John Darnielle, Saturday, 9 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Another round of red-pulsed dye laser surgery ON MY FACE, if you please.

― Michael Daddino, Saturday, 9 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

i need to find my carcass albums...

certainly anything which requires a barium enema for starters...

― jess, Saturday, 9 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Everything mentioned on DR. OCTAGON.

Hot Sauce in the dickhole.

Some asshole dentist putting me to sleep then doing an untrained freestyle hair transplant from my head => kneecaps & elbows. When I woke up, I wouldn't even ask him why or assault him, I'd just shake my head and say, "You're the most original M.F. that ever lived" and walk out.

― Ramosi, Saturday, 9 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There's a horse in the hospital! Moosebumps!

Would this be a Fred Durst production? If so, then I'd like to have a tonsilectomy carried out through the back of my neck, thanks. Or maybe a c olon resection. (Mmm ... diverticulitis ...)

― David Raposa, Saturday, 9 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Eating peanuts. I'm highly allergic to those...

― Arien, Saturday, 9 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Angry live bees rubbed into my open scrotum.

The Persian eye cups: strapped across the victim's eyes, they allow for easy application of acidic-retina-eating/dissolving-induced paroxysms of pain.

Rather than Staind, though.

― powertonevolume, Sunday, 10 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The John Hurt 'Kane' Special, or, how to rid yourself of a hostile organism without the tedious mucking about of regular means of bodily expulsion.

Rather than Staind, as mentioned, yes.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 10 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

small sharp slivers ob bone hammered slowly up ones nostrils. (NB I have never seen this video, but I wanted to join in)

― Norman Phay, Sunday, 10 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

early contender for ILM thread of 2002... let's keep them ROLLIN' ROLLIN' ROLLIROLLIROLLIN'!

― Brian MacDonald, Sunday, 10 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Given the above comment, I respectfully modify my suggestion to say that Brian deserves the John Hurt treatment.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 10 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"If I ever catch you I'm gonna shove sausage down your throat and put starving dogs up your butt! And then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!" - Moe Sizlak (addressing director?)

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 11 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

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