Favourite TOTP appearance

The Orb playing chess

Morrissey gunning down the audience for 'How Soon Is Now?'

Madonna doing 'Holiday', just cause for years afterwards I could hardly believe that she had been on our little show.

I remember the Morrissey one and I also remember the appearance where they did "William it was really nothing" and the Moz had "Marry me written on his chest"

I also recall Sham 69 doing Hersham boys and Pursey and co doing a do- se-do before falling over (was there ever a Pursey TOTP where he didn't fall over?) and Peter Powell making the observation at the end "Wow, what a way to go...nuts"

Aneka singing Japanese Boy cos it's my first TOTP memory.

Kernkraft 400 bashing each other with fake body parts.

Billy Mackenzie sitting in a chair, wearing an airline pilot's uniform, miming "Party Fears Two".

The first Human League appearance ("Sound of the Crowd"?).

Token non-early-80s obvious one: Kurt croaking through "Smells Like Teen Spirit".

There was something fantastically chaotic and nasty ragga-fied garage thing on last year but I can't remember who it was.

The Grid played Corby trouser presses and wore matching masks for "swamp thing" and had a guy in an electric chair(?) playing a banjo who never moved a muscle except when it was his bit.

Ha! That debut TOTP by Sparks with "Mad Ron" frightening all the suberban children (The cameraman should have got an award for brilliant work on that as he made the appearance as much as the band.

I remember the next day at school and everybody talking about the "scary man"

1. yep, Sham 69 - Angels With Dirty Faces. Jimmy gurning a couple of inches away from the camera, his face filling the screen until he fell over again.

2. Sparks - This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Both of Us. Ron's Hitler meets Chaplin schtick, Russell's helium falsetto and mad prancing, and a guitar sound to split the heavens. A whole nation does a double take. What was THAT!

3. Buzzcocks first appearance doing I Don't Mind.

4. Madness - The Prince. We all did Chas Smash's skankin' showroom dummy dance the next day at the school disco.

5. Judas Priest - United. High, high camp.

6. Althea and Donna - as discussed on another thread an' ting.

7. The Jam - All Around The World. Deeply unfashionable round this board, but the Weller's clenched aggression and Foxton's high splits thrilled this then 16 year-old. And it still thrills this 40 year-old today.

8. This might be cheating, cos I've only seen it on video, but Joe Cocker's "Little Help From My Friends" performance is genuinely deranged and totally mentalist. A 35-year old hardman hod carrier lets it all go.

9. Motorhead - The Ace Of Spades.

10. Sensational Alex Harvey Band - Boston Tea Party. They all looked bonkers, but what a song! I particularly liked the drummer's image - a pierrot.

Fave prob KLF -- esp as giant ice-cream cone

Still my favourite tho' is The Sweet doing 'Blockbuster' (or Pan's People doing Gilbert O's "Get Down" with disobedient dogs heh)

Best appearance I never saw: New Order playing Blue Monday completely live (allegedly)(and allegedly not very well).

All About Eve miming to Martha's Harbour The viewers could hear the song, but the band were not hearing the playback in the studio, so the the band were just sitting there waiting for something to happen...

Status Quo (i have no idea what song and don't care either) when Rick Parfitt fell backwards crashing into the drum kit causing maximum disruption (while the playback kept on running) Magnificent!

Fave moments? Well sod it, it was important for me, but OMD doing "Genetic Engineering" in 1983, one drummer, two blokes behind Korg MS10s and Andy McCluskey with a big red Gibson 335 round his neck. Life changing in every way - made me love OMD, made me love cherry red 335s and made me go out into a record shop and actually buy a record instead of taping it off the radio.

Others? I always rather liked the Weddoes refusing to mime things like "Brassneck" and "Come up and see me". Actually that reminds me, everytime a song breaks down and goes quiet and the audience go "WAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" 'cos they think it's the end when it isn't really. Happened all the time on indie records in the late 80s. Now the audience only go "WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" when a member of Blue stands up or takes his jacket off. WHY???

Anyway, I digress...

The first Human League appearance ("Sound of the Crowd"?)

Actually, it was the Mk1 Human League doing a bizzare cover of Gary Glitter's "Rock 'n' Roll"!!!!

OK, here's my faves:

• Motorhead "Overkill". Loads of insane wacky camera angels!!
• Legs & Co's bizzare pisstake of "Calling Occupants of Interplanatery Flight"!!!! (Starring DLT as an ET!!!!!)
• Sham 69 "If We Don't Tell The Children". Jimmy Pursey crawling about the stage like he was half asleep/drunk!!!!
• M singing "Pop Musik" on Xmas TOTP (78/79?) with a world map prop, allowing for the singer to a dramatic sweeping gesture over it during the "New York, London, Paris, Munich" bit...
• New Order's brilliantly shambolic live performance of "Blue Monday"!!!
• The Beat "Mirror In The Bathroom". Full of zappy "dub" Quantel FX!!!!!
• ABC "Look of Love". Martin Fry & co dancing around like Four Tops- in gold lame suits!!!!
• The Mobiles only hit "Drowning In Berlin". The performance itself was amusing enough, but even better was Peter Powell confidentelly predicting that "you'll be hearing a lot more then in 1982"!!!!!
• WASP "Scream If You Like It". US shock metal dudes floor TOTP crowd shock!!!!
• The Flying Pickets singing "Only You" on Xmas TOTP- dressed as Christmas puddings!!!!!!
• Nick Heyward's first solo appearance on TOTP after leaving Haircut 100!!!! During the first couple of lines of "Whistle Down The Wind", the camera focused on Nick as he looked at the back of the stage with a quizzical expression, not bothering to mime to the words, and at line 3 he turned back to the mic and started miming to the song as if nothing had happened!!!
• TOTP censorship, such the pointed refusal to play Frankie's "Relax" during 1984 or the Pistols "God Save the Queen" during 1977 , the 1988 censorship of anything with the word "acid" in it, (Whilst still playing acid house records that didn't mention it!!!!) etc., ...
• The 1989 "Madchester" TOTP, with debuts by the Stone Roses and Happy Mondays
• Eric B & Rakim having to mime to Coldcut's remix of their track "Paid In Full"!!!! Well, I say mime- there isn't actually that much Eric B could during the extremely long introduction except stand still!!!!!
• Skunk Anansie & Bjork joining forces for a live rendition of Bjork's "Army of Me". Always thought the Skunks played well, but needed some decent tunes, and this proved it!!!!! Even though the "duet" between Bjork & Skin degenerated into a bit of a screaming match by the third verse, it was still pretty kick bottom!!!!

Smite the Rockist scum!

Oh yes - and a few weeks later Heyward was up for "Take That Situation". Playback starts and Nicky opens his gob fully five seconds before the vocals come in. Evens out, see.

Also remember Madness doing "It Must Be Love" when it was reissued, by satellite from Red Square, Moscow and being really amazed because, at the time, to see pop culture coming from the old Eastern Bloc (and *that* McDonalds in the background, as well) still had a real frisson of a new, optimistic world about it. Manics doing "You Love Us" and Nirvana doing "Teen Spirit" because I was 11 and foolish. Other favourites from the same era (my peak TOTP-watching time): The Sugarcubes, Altern 8, and, I have to admit, Ace of Base doing "All That She Wants". Something nobody remembers is Shut Up And Dance doing "Raving I'm Raving" with a totally different arrangement and an unrecognisable melody line from the hit version when it was at number two, because they'd already agreed with Marc Bastard Cohn to withdraw the single - seemingly they were only on because it had gone straight in at number two when that was still a big deal, and they had to feature it in some form, it would have looked odd to not play it at all, but it was still a bizarre moment.

Of older performances I've seen: obviously Sparks, the Sweet, T.Rex, Mott The Hoople, a depressingly predictable list really. The ugliest set they ever had backed, appropriately, Lindisfarne doing "Run For Home" in 1978, and the worst performance ever, generally, was of Chic's "Le Freak" because the audience just sat around, bored and totally disinterested, *not moving* (during "Le Freak", for shame! I know it was the Winter of Discontent and all that, but that's incredible) as though they were listening to Lindisfarne or Smokie. Also dud was the performance of "Rapper's Delight" by the Sugarhill Gang featured in C4's "The Hip-Hop Years" some time back, which I assumed to be from TOTP, and which had the ugliest and most badly- dressed audience imaginable. The late 70s was a shit time on TOTP: no wonder they went completely the other way with the exuberant party era of the early 80s: the lights, the balloons, John Peel and David Jensen sending the whole thing up while nonetheless treating it with no end of respect. Peel's comments ("at number 15 it's Jennifer Rush, scoring more often than Ian Rush ..." or "It's been said Aretha Franklin could sing any old rubbish and make it sound good. And blow me, she just has" after "Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves") were and still are utter classic.

Why depressingly predictable, Robin?

"In the past, if you'd said 'Breakfast at Tiffany's', most people would have thought of the Audrey Hepburn movie. After this, from Deep Blue Something, they still will"

The Skids doing Into the Valley.

Richard Herring's introductory "But, I HATE Bon Jovi, Stu!"

They never had them back.

Smiths doing 'What Difference..' - my version of the epiphanal 'I saw the light' moment.

Bauhaus doing 'Ziggy Stardust', as it really looked to my Goth-free young mind as though Peter Murphy was about to assault the audience with his mike stand.

The Jam doing both sides of their no 1 at the close of the show in Feb 82.

Hoddle and Waddle's suits in 87 - sleeves rolled up like a Phil Collins band member, Glenn's arms swinging like Sting while Chris stood and held the mike stand like a drowning man holds a rope.

All About Eve were actually invited back on the week after the 'Martha's Harbour' debacle - the record managed to climb the chart despite (because of?) the still-hilarious fuck-up, so they ended up with a top ten hit, and probably benefiting more than they would have done had it all gone well.

Teeth-gratingly 'poptastic' outro: "Just what you need for a summer's day.", Mark Goodier after REM's bioweapon-mungous "Orange Crush"

Mick Jagger doing 'Let's Work'. He went up all the ladders and everything. What a nana!

Madonna's appearance: I was so impressed I was sure it was someone else, so she must have already been a big star. She had on a pink wig or something.

Cyndi Lauper doing 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun'.

Howard Jones's mate rattling his mental chains.

Opus Three 'Fine Day' responsible for many people feeling bad because they cannot twirl three of those yin yang balls at once.

The woman with the stripey tights on the swing for The Shaman's 'Phorever People' with Mr C doing his strange goblin dance at the front.

KLF with Tammy Wynette and the ice cream van for 'Justified and Ancient'

First seeing the video for the Prodigy's 'Charly'

Many others I can't think of.

I remember liking Adamski doing 'Killer' on the Xmo TOTP that year.

The first time Moby was on, in his mentalist punk phase. He was shirtless with "PORN STAR" written across his chest.

Jarvis paper-folding a crane during Sorted.

Nick Cave & Kylie, how very bizarre it seemed at the time.

Oh, I also liked Marshall Hain doing "Dancing In The City" in 1978, though I've only seen it once, on TOTP2 about four years ago.

A1 were particularly hilarious just recently, completely fucking up a live, unplugged performance. Why didn't a manager or someone point out to them that they really can't sing nearly well enough to do that?

Legs & Co doing Bankrobber.

Lennon & Ono doing Instant Karma. Yoko is miked up, but the sound man (clearly a person of good taste) has turned her off. She's knitting too. And holding up signs saying "smile", "peace" etc. John's doing a fab, impassioned live vocal.

Any Sham 69/Buzzcocks/Ramones appearance.

More to come.

Rah Band doing "The crunch" in hoods in 1977. It made an impression on the guy who recorded under the name White Town, too, coz he mentioned it in an interview.

Up until recently, I would've said the Mobiles doing "Drowning in Berlin", although I saw it on TOTP2 and was not impressed. Either I had false memory syndrome or they made two or more appearances. I seem to remember the strobe effect being much better, for example.

New Order doing "Fine Time" with Bernard's acid house dancing.

Now here's a thing: imagine if they'd introduced the rule enforcing live performances three years earlier than they did, and so Milli Vanilli would have had to perform "Girl You Know It's True" LIVE? (ps I am not sure whether they actually appeared at all but let's apply conjecture here.) Their entire career would have been over at that moment, surely, before it had even really got started?

mine'd have to be suede - in with a bullet
at number 2 with stay together, bernard with flowers
inbetween his teeth, simon in a t. shirt saying '16'
in support of lowering the homosexual age of consent,
huge pillars of fire either side/ fairy light backdrop
(classic blaxill-era dramatic set) - ace. terrible song.

God, February 1994 was fucking depressing (though I remember Saint Etienne doing "Pale Movie" on TOTP that month, so it can't have been all bad).

I'd been walking round brighton wearing glass beads with a bunch of daffs stuffed down my trousers all day, and suddenly there was another being in the world who did this too!

wave your gladdies!

Mark E smith and Inspiral carpets.

I miss Top of the pops.

the kinks should have done "Top of the Pops" on "Top of the Pops"