anal cunt (RIP)

http://lyricalfantasia.com/view.php?do=view&artist=Anal+Cunt&curletter=A

what makes it bestest is that every now and again the moderators catch wind of all these dirty lyrics and delete everything. Then the Anal Cunt fans slowly rebuild it. It's like watching an antfarm.

nonrhyming line
nonrhyming line
nonrhyming line
nonrhyming line

name of song
name of song
name of song
name of song

(etc...)

They are rubbish, though. Sore Throat were funnier, but still rubbish.

DICTATORS ARE COOL
DICTATORS ARE COOL

MUSSOLINI GOT PISSED ON BY HIS PEOPLE
HITLER HAD A CHARLIE CHAPLIN MUSTACHE
DICK MANITOBA GRABBED MY GIRLFRIENDS TITS
MARK MENDOZA WAS IN A TWISTED SISTER

DICTATORS ARE COOL
DICTATORS ARE COOL

[chorus:]
hootie and the blowfish [x4]

even though you're black,i still think you're good,but please don't move into my neighborhood
the singer's a nigger,the other 3 are geeks,we'll get front row tickets and show up in sheets

the south won't rise again
the south won't rise again
the south won't rise again
the south won't rise again

what could you possibly gain
by breaking the country in two
your overalls are gay
let go of your sisters tit

i think it's cool that you make moonshine
it's even cooler when you go blind from drinking it
how come your ancestors diden't realize
they'd lose cuz their president was named after boss hogg

the south won't rise again
the south won't rise again
the south won't rise again
the south won't rise again

40. No, We Don't Want To Do A Split 7" With Your Stupid Fucking Band

41. Reni Auberjonois

[chorus:]
rene-auberjonois,is gay-auberjonois [x2]

you were on benson,you were in m.a.s.h.,you're french you're gay and you suck

[chorus]

you were in police academy 5,now you're on deep space 9

[chorus]

you were my best friend the vampire,i wish you would fucking retire

[chorus]

42. Internet Is Gay

YOU'VE GOT NO FRIENDS
YOU STAY HOMA ALL DAY
YOU'VE BEEN TO EVERY WEBSITE
BECAUSE TOU'RE FUCKING GAY

THE INTERNET IS FUCKING GAY
YOU FUCKING FAGGOT, LOSER, QUEER, NERD, ETC.

YOU'VE GOT NO FRIENDS
YOU STAY HOMA ALL DAY
YOU'VE BEEN TO EVERY WEBSITE
BECAUSE TOU'RE FUCKING GAY

I know who this is about! I know who this is about! ha ha ha!

i was friends with the band in question for awhile

And what ever happened to Seth Putnam doin' vox for the Siege reunion..?

Why do you think we throw stuff at you?

You own all our cd's- you're gay, you're gay
You own all our 7"s- you're gay, you're gay
You bought all our t-shirts- you're gay, you're gay
You go to all our shows- you're gay, you're gay

[Chorus:] All our fans are gay [x4]

You think you know what we are singing about- you're wrong
You think we care about the underground- you're wrong
You think we won't fuck up your club- you're wrong
You think we care if you like us- you're wrong

[Chorus]

If we're nice to you, it's because we're broke
Or unless you got some drugs to smoke
When the drugs are gone, then we are too
Then we'll go back to making fun of you

[Fan voice:] "But I've supported you guys for so long!"

FAGGOT!

anal cunt are headlining the "sick shit" festival in albany, new york on
august 27th. it is at a place called valentines. this will probably be the
last show until i make a full recovery from my drug overdose last october. i
am walking with a cane now, so i'm still progressing. what happened last
october was i was doing heroin, crack, drinking, and took two months worth
of ambien sleeping pills at once. i didn't mention this before because i had
a court case of heroin charges against me. it got dropped, so i can mention
it now. also, on september 4th at the middle east club in cambridge
massachusetts, me and josh martin are doing a set of picnic of love songs
under the name "picnic of love". we are opening for ptl klub, adolf satan.
and the old men. not much else going on, i am going to cripple school monday
through friday. i'm in a hurry so i have to end now.

From "Laughing When Leonard Peltier Gets Raped In Jail"

"I NEVER BOTHERED TO FIND OUT WHY YOU'RE IN JAIL
BUT, I THINK IT'S FUNNY THAT YOU ARE"

Consequently, I will know this band as Anal Passion Flower forever.

"You Didn't Graduate from Cripple School Because You're Gay"

vs.

"EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE BLACK, YOU LISTENED TO QUEEN
YOU THOUGHT FREDDY WAS THE CUTEST GUY YOU'VE EVER SEEN
YOU WENT BACKSTAGE AND GOT FUCKED IN THE ASS
YOU TOOK A HIV TEST

EASY E. GOT HIV FROM FREDDY MERCURY
EASY E. GOT HIV FROM FREDDY MERCURY
EASY E. GOT HIV FROM FREDDY MERCURY
EASY E. GOT HIV FROM FREDDY MERCURY

YOU WENT TO DINNER, FREDDY WORE A LEASH
YOU ATE FRIED CHICKEN, FREDDY ATE QUICHE
NOW FREDDY'S DEAD AND HE'S IN HEAVEN
AT HIS WAKE YOU ATE WATER MELON"

vs

"Women, Nature's Punching Bag"

I ATE YOUR HORSE
I ATE YOUR HORSE
I ATE YOUR HORSE
I ATE YOUR HORSE

WHEN YOU CAME TO THE STABLE NEXT MORNING
YOU FOUND A PILE OF HAIR, TEETH, AND HOOVES
I HID AROUND THE BACK, TO LISTEN TO YOU CRY
THEN I BEAT AN OLD LADY TO DEATH WHIT THE LEG BONE

I ATE YOUR HORSE
I ATE YOUR HORSE
I ATE YOUR HORSE
I ATE YOUR HORSE

In your honor here's a snippet from Picnic:

Greed / Greed / Greed-Greed-Greed
Greed is something that we don't need

Help! This is Mother Earth!
Somebody please help me!

The corporations don't even care
While the rain forests go bare
Oil spills & tanker wrecks
Don't show the sea creatures any respect

The park turned into a parking lot
The woods turned into a shopping mall
The swimming hole turned into a sewer dump
Isn't there anyone who cares at all?

Greed, greed, greed, greed, greed
Greed is something that we don't need

You stand by and watch the corporate rape
But not me, I made this tape
After 12 years of Bush & Reagan
We've become an insensitive nation

The park turned into a parking lot
The woods turned into a shopping mall
The swimming hole turned into a sewer dump
Isn't there anyone who cares at all?

Greed, greed, greed, greed, greed
Greed is something that we don't need

Corporate greed, rape and crime
The laws are stepped on all the time
Polluting the water, they don't even think
But their money won't help when there's none left to drink

The park turned into a parking lot
The woods turned into a shopping mall
The swimming hole turned into a sewer dump
Isn't there anyone who cares at all?

Greed, greed, greed, greed, greed
Greed is something that we don't need

(gaywad!)

I WAS ON MY WAY TO TURN IN ILLEGAL ALIENS TO THE INS
AND YOUR STUPID FUCKING DOG WAS BARKING AT ME
IT SOUNDED LIKE A SINGER FROM A GAY DEATH METAL BAND
I WANTED TO KICK IT IN THE FUCKING FACE

I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT

AFTER I BEAT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF IT
I WANTED TO THROW IT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING WINDOW
BUT I NEEDED MONEY TO BUY SOME MORE WHISKEY
SO I SOLD IT TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT

I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT

YOUR FAMILY ORDERED PU PU PLATTER
YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE EATING
IT WAS YOUR FUCKING GAY FAITHFUL DOG
WHILE YOU WERE AT THE RESTAURANT I LIT YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE

I couldn't afford to buy you a present so I wrote you this song
I want all the lovers of the world to help me sing along
I'm only a simple man; I never made much money
But I've got a wealth of love to share with you honey

When I think of an angel I think of your face
I want to make sweet love to you by the fireplace
I want to be your architect of your castle of love
I'll never take for granted my gift from above

We'll take a ride through the foliage
Watch the leaves turn orange and brown
Woman, I never thought I'd say this
But I want to settle down

I wish we were on a deserted island
Just me and you
I'd climb right up a tree
And get a coconut for you

YOU FUCKING DYKE
YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GET TOUCHED BY A MAN
YOU WANTED TO BE A STRONG SINGLE MOTHER
YOU ORDERED A SENSITIVE, GAY POETS SPERM

I SNUCK A RETARD IN TO A SPERM BANK
I SNUCK A RETARD IN TO A SPERM BANK
I SNUCK A RETARD IN TO A SPERM BANK
I SNUCK A RETARD IN TO A SPERM BANK

INSTEAD OF A BRIGHT POET OFFSPRING
YOU'RE STUCK WITH A DROOLING RETARD
YOU WENT BROKE PAYING FOR SPECIAL CARE
YOU'RE GIRLFRIEND LEFT YOU FOR ANOTHER WOMAN

I SNUCK A RETARD IN TO A SPERM BANK
I SNUCK A RETARD IN TO A SPERM BANK
I SNUCK A RETARD IN TO A SPERM BANK
I SNUCK A RETARD IN TO A SPERM BANK

you're from the north end-wop
you're from revere beach-wop
you can't have a barbeque-wop
the spaghetti always falls through-wop

[chorus:]
you drive an el camino,your hero's barbarino,your cousin's name is guido,on the beach you wear
a speedo

you drive an iroc-wop
your girlfriend has a mustache-wop
you were an altar boy-wop
you got raped by a priest-wop

[chorus]

you put on a bottle of colonge today,you're italian and you're fucking gay
your fucking name is fucking vinnie,and you're a greasy fucking guinea
you can't have freckles-wop
they slide off your face-wop
you braid your girlfriend's breast hair-wop
you shave your granny's back hair-wop

I know this guy named Howard Wulkan,
he is really bald.
He has no hair on his head,
that's because he's bald.

Howard Wulkan [4x]

He be working at .......... (inaudible)
He used to work some place else.
He looks like that guy from ..........
and he's bald.

Howard Wulkan [4x]

That man is really bald,
He looks like ..........
He could really shave his head off.
ROCK ON BROTHER!

Howard Wulkan [4x]

.............
I'm not only the hairclub president,
I'm also client

your fucking name is fucking vinnie, and you're a greasy fucking guinea

LOL

wow

It, You're A Metal Band

you're not fucking hardcore, you're not avant garde
you're not punk rock, you're just a fucking retard
you're not something special, you're not something new
you're not fucking good, face it you're a metal band

Rancid Sucks (And The Clash Sucked Too)

Ska is gay, Reggae is gay
You’re fucking gay and you’re not punk
You say you hate corporations, but you were on NBC
London’s calling and they’re calling you gay

Chorus:
Rancid sucks, Rancid sucks, Rancid sucks, and The Clash sucked too

If Kenny G had a Mohawk, he wouldn’t be punk
If Yanni had dumb tattoos, he wouldn’t be punk
If Garth Brooks pierced his nose, he wouldn’t be punk
If Liberace sounded like The Clash, he wouldn’t be punk

Chorus

You’re gay, you suck
And The Clash sucked too

i'm sure this will surprise no one, but i LOVED anal cunt when i was like 15.

i think the clash suck, too.

the au courant stylings of anal cunt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRu-dpT8oHU

personal favorite: "windchimes are gay"

What does this actually mean? Like I've met dudes from Napalm Death, Carcass, Locust, Cephalic Carnage, Daughters! etc etc who have all been really nice guys... in the way that weren't homophobic racists who beat women up. The style of music has no bearing on what this guy was like.

― Actual LOL Tolhurst (Doran), Monday, June 13, 2011 11:46 AM (2 minutes ago)

My point wasn't that because he was in a grindcore band he's expected to be an insensitive jerk. My point was that because he was in a grindcore band, he was relatively harmless. At worst, he was a bad comedian. My point was that dickhead upthread taking apparent joy in dude's untimely demise is crass and tacky. I can only hope the karmic comeuppance is good and hard for taking delight in a musician's death.

Lyrics
Anal Cunt are often cited as having common lyrical themes that include misogyny, homophobia, anti-Semitism, racism and ridicule of the unfortunate, although this has not always been the case. Many of these songs included insults, either general or specific to one person.

Their I Like It When You Die developed the idea of containing insults in their songs, with a recurring song title being "X Is Gay", with X being a person, place, thing, idea or event.

honestly i never minded anal cunt when the misanthropy was just o.t.t. zany. "i killed your horse" is still hilarious.

I can only hope the karmic comeuppance is good and hard for taking delight in a musician's death.

okay lol

"are you ready for some HOT HARD KARMIC COMEUPPANCE ACTION"

Criticism
Critic Steve Huey called their album Morbid Florist "barely listenable".[13]

ILIWYD established the template.

I did buy one, yes. I also felt that I didn't need another one anyway, but when the follow-up came out, I did think they were trying too hard to be offensive, whereas something like "Being a cobbler is dumb" was something they could actually explain with a rational argument.

(That's not from the Wiki page, btw)

To be fair, their prejudice was unprejudiced - they applied the same amount of bile to various subsects of society as they did, well, windchimes and stuff. They even had a song called "Everyone in AC is Dumb"

you tried really hard not to say "equal opportunity offenders" didn't u?

haha

the technical term is "misanthrope."

there was an interview by professor dum dum, whom i only know from sporadic guest DJ spots on WFMU where he conducts the entire show in a comedy German mad professor accent, where he tried to poke through seth's schtick to reveal the sensitive, not actually that mean man underneath and I think at certain points he was actually successful?

My point wasn't that because he was in a grindcore band he's expected to be an insensitive jerk. My point was that because he was in a grindcore band, he was relatively harmless. At worst, he was a bad comedian. My point was that dickhead upthread taking apparent joy in dude's untimely demise is crass and tacky. I can only hope the karmic comeuppance is good and hard for taking delight in a musician's death.

yr right, I should have thought about my actions -- I never realized saying I didn't care that he was dead on a message board was going to prevent Seth's body from resting in peace. o what have i done?

o what have i done?

made yourself look boorish imo

nothing against you personally dude but "well here's ONE person whose death I don't mourn!" is always a lame & juvenile schtick to pull when somebody dies unless it's an actual despot or something, when somebody dies the best rule to follow is "if you have nothing constructive to say, why not shut the fuck up?"

he might have run over neanderthal's cat.

because the cat was gay.

waiting for discourse to sink to a Putnamian enough level that when like Valerie Harper dies half a dozen people swing in with "I can't really say I'm sorry to see her go, Rhoda couldn't hold a candle to the rest of the CBS Monday night lineup back then...a pale pretender eating up airtime...rot in Hell"

i learned a lot about anal cunt today

have you read a blog's comments section lately, aero? revolution putnam style now has already taken place.

yea, those two things are comparable after all, aero...

I mean, this is ILX, a board that has threads with titles like "I am glad Jim Morrison is dead"

i actually disliked Seth a LOT while he was alive, and considered him to be a lowlife who inspired a lot of bad people, so chalk it up to that. Compare for instance to someone like Mitt Romney, a dude who I can't stand, but like if he was to die in a plane crash tomorrow, I certainly wouldn't say "no big loss" and I'd still consider it a tragedy.

have you read a blog's comments section lately, aero? revolution putnam style now has already taken place.

http://lifehacker.com/5675785/comment-blocker-helps-de+troll-the-internet-for-chrome-users

this is what serenity looks like

j/k I had it installed in Firefox but I'm a self-flagellant like everybody else and I read comments until my blood boils, then drink myself to sleep

it does seem kind of counter-intuitive to decry someone saying mean, insensitive things about someone who became famous/successful for saying mean, insensitive things

tbf i plan to have people throw pies at my casket when I die

like, I expect the jokes during Gilbert Gottfried's funeral to be brutal

'well, I know his will said do not let George Takei in under any circumstances, but since it'll be hella funny...."

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/71PNT02CYQL._SL500_AA300_.gif

imo neanderthal's comment was completely in line w/how this guy presented himself publicly

i learned a lot about anal cunt today

― goole, Monday, June 13, 2011 5:19 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark

http://i55.tinypic.com/o0rx54.jpg

thread (finally) delivers

imo neanderthal's comment was completely in line w/how this guy presented himself publicly

― call all destroyer, Monday, June 13, 2011 11:14 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

feels like aerosmith covered this already when he said

waiting for discourse to sink to a Putnamian enough level that when like Valerie Harper dies half a dozen people swing in with "I can't really say I'm sorry to see her go, Rhoda couldn't hold a candle to the rest of the CBS Monday night lineup back then...a pale pretender eating up airtime...rot in Hell"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdVRaDJth4s

otm

I don't listen to most of these guys' recorded output but this is great + hilarious

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9OesoTewgs

http://www.linkedin.com/in/howardwulkan

i can't help but notice dude is kinda bald

They seem to have a thing about baldness for some reason

― Tom D (Tom D.), Wednesday, February 16, 2011 1:26 AM (1 year ago)

these guys just become funnier to me the older i get. shouldnt it work the opposite way

depends on what it is.

The band's first performance was in 1988 at Putnam's mother's house in front of some family members, namely his mother, his two little brothers and his grandmother, as well as some of his mother's friends.[6]

Awesome, hilarious, Anal Cunt-inspired, Donald Trump-satirizing death/grind/noisecore duet from San Diego, California, USA featuring Travis Ryan of Cattle Decapitation and Rob Crow of Pinback and Goblin Cock! This is their debut album, 30 tracks in 3 minutes :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Pm6g1a3R0s

uh

https://pitchfork.com/news/josh-martin-guitarist-of-anal-cunt-dead-after-escalator-accident/

Kinda impossible not to think of potential song tribute titles.

Dang

Oh damn. I fucked you as a joke always made me laugh