I've been trapped on a desert island for 2 years, what music do I need to hear?

Apparently, you need to listen to the Strokes.

If you ask me, here's what you need to know about the newjack rock generation:

(1) Beat Happening's affected naivite + Blues Explosion's bassless guitar blitz + Partridge Family visual aesthetic = The White Stripes.

(2) Televison's guitars + Velvet's attitude + Stooges' hair + the Knack = The Strokes

(3) Suicide - Martin Rev's silly glasses + heavy metal hair = A.R.E. Weapons

(4) The Jesus & Mary Chain - Scottishness = Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

(5) Tonsorial advice from Rocket From the Crypt + ascot flair from Urge Overkill + the Nuggets boxset + needless Swedishness = The Hives

needless Swedishness

That could never be needless.

Ike Reilly-Salesmen and Racists

Loads of stuff. The freshest and most exciting music lately has been R&B. You need to hear Kelis's debut and the latest Missy Elliott (produced by the Neptunes and Timbaland), plus Destiny's Child. There's been terrific hip-hop too, not least Outkast and M.O.P., plus oddities like the Avalanches' Since I Left You. Try Adam F's productions, but they might be overly bombastic. Turntablism has continued strongly - try the Allies and Invisibl Skratch Picklz. Oh, and the RZA's soundtrack for Ghost Dog was good. And you have to give Eminem a careful listen.

The Strokes' New York City Cops and Last Night need hearing, if only to follow the conversations about them. New Order's and Primal Scream's latest are pretty good - though for me, rock has continued at a lowish ebb. Oddest of all is that Jeff Beck made a good record last year. No, really.

Lots of good drum & bass. Teebee's album Through The Eyes Of A Scorpion is a masterpiece. Digital had a great 2000, and Stakka & Skynet were excellent last year. The link with 2-step garage has been at times an excuse to merely drop the pace and energy, but DJ Zinc has shown it can be a fertile blend. The Digital Hardcore label's mix of extreme hardcore D&B with thrash saw a top girl group in Lolita Storm - Hot Lips, Wet Pants is my favourite title of the millenium, so far (early days).

Techno has been coasting a little, but Dave Clarke and Jeff Mills are still on peak form, and Orbital are still worth a listen. Laurent Garnier's Unreasonable Behaviour is gorgeous. Basement Jaxx's Rooty is the best house album lately, with Daft Punk's Discovery the choice of a lot of sensible people. Midfield General's Generalisation is the best recent Big Beat.

The important thing, as much as hearing any of the above, is this: avoid the Stereophonics. Mister Writer is among the worst records ever recorded.

And you have to give Eminem a careful listen.

Will he let you?

lots of reissues

I think you should listen to Kylie.

Other ones to look for (all in my opinion, by the way):

(1) ORIGIN OF SYMMETRY by Muse - Imagine Radiohead if they'd kept driving and not taken the KID A detour to Yawnsville.

(2) I GET WET by Andrew WK - Lots of shouting, hair-shaking, sweating and power-chords, but with a surprisingly accessible dumb pop undercurrent.

(3) POINT by Cornelius - Already raved about this earlier -- and I'm dead sure there are better people to describe it. Still -- quite cool.

(4) "Bouncin' Back" by Mystikal, "Break Yo Neck" by Busta Rhymes and "Who We Be" by DMX - To my very biased, Killing-Joke-loving, rockist ears, the only hip-hop I've heard in the past year that sounds fresh and different.

(5) PSYCHOPHARMACOLOGY by Firewater - Pure genius. Go Fetch. Ask questions later. http://www.fireh2o.com/images/psycho.gif

(6) And because no one should be without..... http://cover2.cduniverse.com/PhantomArt\698802.jpg

How will he know what "the Kid A detour" is?

Anyway - you should be listening to Terris, Campag Velocet, Jim's Super Stereoworld, Hundred Reasons and the Monsoon Bassoon - they've all made it BIG while you've been away.

Undoubtedly the Missy Elliott album, Outcast's last 2 albums are also special but avoid destinys child cos they are over produced and over hyped. The Strokes are essential,(maybe over hyped as well but...) as are the White stripes but hear all 3 albums and see them live to appreciate them fully. The last Beta band and the last High Llamas are both worth hearing too, as are 6 by 7, Big yoga muffin, Miss kittin and the hacker, Daft punk and Wu tang but get the previous one, not the latest. Pop wise, try S club 7, Kylie and Sugarbabes but avoid the fool Williams, especially the rat pack thingie. Pop wise, S club 7, Kylie, Sugarbabes,

Tonsorial advice from Rocket From the Crypt + ascot flair from Urge Overkill + the Nuggets boxset + needless Swedishness = The Hives

Not that I agree with the ingredients here, but talk about the whole being greater than the sum of the parts.

The Hives better than both Rocket and Nuggets = not my universe.

apparently there's a new joy division live cd, and a bootleg velvet underground boxset...

Which brings me to the question: how many hours of "Sister Ray" did the VU produce in total?

Apparently, you need to listen to the Strokes.

Or any other VU-cover band for that matter.
Would it be sadistic to play him Destiny's Childs' "Survivor" and then show him the show it was based on?

Just the wind and the waves. The best music on earth. Definitely a grower.

i HEAR THAT LIMP BISCUIT IS THE SHIT. HAHA.

Nurse With Wound - Chance Meeting. Finally reissued. CLASSICK

I HEARD ENOUGH WIND AND WAVES ON THE FRIGGIN ISLAND. ALSO THE SOUNDS OF MYSELF FARTING IN A CAVE BECAME QUITE SOOTHING AS WELL. I CREATED A LITTLE BAND WHILE I WAS THERE. CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE STAINS.

Tony Valens & the Incisions.

Here's vols 1-8 of "Now Thats What I Call Music"
If that doesn't send you back to your island, I don't know what will.