What the trademarks of a well-written record review?

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For me, its:
* when the reviewers language is so evocative you can almost hear the music playing in your head, even if you've never the heard the album/musician in question before.
* when the review is so damned interesting that the reviewer makes you want to buy the record even if they are slagging off on it. A good review makes you wanna get the record just to hear "how bad" it is.
* when it contains astuteness or wit. But this applys to all writing.
This is just my POV on this. Whats yours?

― Lord Custos, Thursday, 21 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

When it ends with 'Ned Raggett.' Wait, that's a bit egotistical.

I like your second point a lot. Some of my favorite reviews are the demolitions, and if it's a beautiful, outrageous demolition -- something dripping with contempt at even having to hear the damn thing -- I'm usually entertained. This is why Tanya is the greatest record reviewer ever.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 21 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I like reviews that attack some album I really love. I gives me the feeling that I get "it" and some professional writer doesn't. It make the reviewer look bad, and It reminds me that the reviewer doesn't decide what I like.

― A Nairn, Thursday, 21 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

What the trademarks of a well-written record review?

The inclusion of "being" verbs is a good start ;-)

Be Witty.
Be Brief.
Be sure to recall historical facts.
Be erudite & esoteric, without sounding like it.
Bea Arthur.

― Dave225, Thursday, 21 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

A well-written record review is one that comes in spot on the word limit.

― Ben Butler, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

This is one of my favorite reviews ever. It's a Pandomag review of The Cure's "Bloodflowers", and it's not a very positive review, but it's witty, irreverent, and smart--and written by someone who had been following the band for years. There's something about a really witty review (which also happens to be strong on content) that I really miss with most of the magazines these days. I can still remember individual reviews from late 80s/early 90s issues of Select, for instance, because they made me laugh (in addition to introducing me to some great music.) Can you say the same thing, say, about Magnet? Or The Wire, which contains reviews that have got to rank as some of the most dry, humorless prose ever written? Reading about music shouldn't be a chore; though by all means music reviews should be well- constructed, and thought-provoking, and intelligent..they ought to also be enjoyable, just like the music they discuss.

I'm heading into manifesto territory here, so I'll stop now.

― geeta, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I like marks out of ten or a star rating.

― Peter Miller, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two years pass...

I just found my favorite record review ever and now I have to hear the music:

http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&token=ADFEAEE47B17D34EAD7E20C081334DC7B376E029DC56B48B1A355677F9A3345B881F27FD04BAD8CBAEF875B47DE3FD24A45A05D0C8FE2781&sql=10:3pkzu3xjan8k

― Laszlo Kovacs (Laszlo Kovacs), Monday, 16 August 2004 05:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Hm...terse.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 16 August 2004 05:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Mick Mercer used to come up with some corkers in the late 80s - he did a review of the Wolfgang Press's "Standing Up Straight" that was bizarre, and I went and bought the album after reading it. Maybe out of confusion. Maybe it was CODE. Anyway I like reviews that conjure up pictures in my head, but that shit only worked on 17 year old Trayce I think.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 16 August 2004 05:53 (twenty-one years ago)

A good review is one that makes you want to read it even if you know you have no intent of ever buying or listening to the music.

That, or one that quotes Young Buck's new single: "Hey shorty, we back up in this bitch again!" Best rap line of the year.

― Addy, Monday, 16 August 2004 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

i think not using incorrect words, like saying "trademarks" when what you mean is "hallmarks", is a good place to start.

I AM AN ASSHOLE

― kyle (akmonday), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

And Linda gave hip-hop head!

― BG, Monday, 16 August 2004 18:33 (twenty-one years ago)

that young buck quote (from "let me in"?) sounds like a pretty standard rap line to me.

― m. (mitchlnw), Monday, 16 August 2004 18:50 (twenty-one years ago)

"I can still remember individual reviews from late 80s/early 90s issues of Select, for instance, because they made me laugh (in addition to introducing me to some great music.)"

Huzzah!

That was a great era for music journalism. I often wonder: whatever became of Adam Higginbotham? He was consistently entertaining and sometimes painfully funny - if he hated a record, he'd bloody well tell you why. Conversely, if he loved something, you'd be thoroughly inclined to go out and buy it.

R.I.P. Select - is there anything as good out now?

― Tantrum The Cat (Tantrum The Cat), Monday, 16 August 2004 19:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Nah, it's all in the bravado of the delivery.

― Addy, Monday, 16 August 2004 20:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Good to get some cough syrup in there somewhere.

― Mark (MarkR), Monday, 16 August 2004 20:19 (twenty-one years ago)

"The vision thing,yeah," as George 1 put it. See even he knows. can't expect it all over the place, wouldn't be prudent, but forinst Lester Bangs' ("Bangs's"? Damn style-sheet-consciousness!) "DO The Godz SPeak Esperanto?" tremendously inspiring when first published, and hopefully so to this day. Including the fact that he valued the Inspired Primitive bit *because it's so hard to do*: those who say,"Oh boy, I can do that!" can be as wrong as those who dismiss for same reason. Mind you, I'm glad I didn't actually hear the Godz until much later, when well fortified by more-bona-fide-to-my-ears Inspired Primitives. Still, even if I'd heard them the same day as reading, and had the fortitude to set aside Lester-dependance, and admit to myself they didn't seem like more than dormitory wiseass stoners of too familiar a type (in the mirror, for instance), think I still would have gone vision-questing for those who *did* live up to his manifesto. In our time, good visioneers (good reads, shopping lists aside): Douglas Wolk, James Hunter, Terri Sutton, Frank Kogan, like that yall.

― Don Allred, Monday, 16 August 2004 22:02 (twenty-one years ago)

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