The NME is currently advertising for a new features editor!

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Let it be me.

― Marcello's Imaginary Best Fiend, Wednesday, 12 October 2005 09:10 (twenty years ago)

No, you don't understand, I wait to be asked, like Orson Welles and God.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 09:14 (twenty years ago)

In that order.

Anyway, DJ Martian is surely the obvious man for the job.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 09:15 (twenty years ago)

It would seriously be fucking gr8 if martian landed this job. I fear it's a bit unlikely, though.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 09:22 (twenty years ago)

can you imagine the interview?

c mcnicholarse: now mr martian, what is your all-time favourite album?
dj martian: *produces 4000-strong list*
c mcnicholarse: NEXT!

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 09:24 (twenty years ago)

And 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' by Nirvana wouldn't be a single one of them

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 09:31 (twenty years ago)

nevermind

― N_RQ, Wednesday, 12 October 2005 09:35 (twenty years ago)

c mcnicholarse: now mr martian, what is your all-time favourite album?
dj martian: *produces 4000-strong list*
c mcnicholarse: NEXT!

This of course is EXACTLY WHY they should employ martian.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 09:36 (twenty years ago)

yes, that will really reverse the sales slump, thank you.

― Time Warner, Wednesday, 12 October 2005 09:38 (twenty years ago)

As Lew Grade said when presented with the proposal for The Prisoner: "It's so crazy it might just work."

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 09:41 (twenty years ago)

the thing is, their sales have actually been quietly on the up of late, i believe. the smash hits/heat/melody maker hybrid seems to be working :-(

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 09:51 (twenty years ago)

Are you suggesting what's wrong with the NME is that Connor Mack doesn't smoke cigars?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 09:52 (twenty years ago)

(x-post)

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 09:52 (twenty years ago)

Aren't the sales increases pretty weak in comparison to how much they're spending on advertising though?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 09:53 (twenty years ago)

are you going to apply dom?

― N_RQ, Wednesday, 12 October 2005 09:54 (twenty years ago)

This clearly should go to GARU G

This Week : Poo
Next Week : Flange
Cover Feature : ME GRAN

― On one hand I've got myself to blame (Lynskey), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 09:56 (twenty years ago)

The job will probably go to Geir.

des o'conor mcnicholas: so mr hongro, what sort of music do you think our readers like?
geir: it is obvious. it is a white readership, and white readers normally prefer melodic music made by white people.
des o'conor mcnicholas: can you start monday?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 09:59 (twenty years ago)

You seem to be forgetting something though, M:

conor: who is your favourite band, then geir?
geir: Genesis
conor: SECURITY!!! THOUGHTCRIME is BeiNG CoMMiTTeD haer!?!?11/!!>!1?!!

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 10:03 (twenty years ago)

are you going to apply dom?

-- N_RQ (bl0cke...), October 12th, 2005. (later)

Hah, I did circle it in the Guardian Media Jobs paper, before saner minds prevailed. I did also circle deputy editor at Family Circle though, so bleh.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 10:05 (twenty years ago)

tom o'conor mcnicholas: so mr petridish, what's your favourite music?
alex is petridish: whatever you pay me to like.
tom o'conor name that tune mcnicholas: sir the job is yours.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 10:05 (twenty years ago)

dom, seriously, you should apply. i'm not joking.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 10:36 (twenty years ago)

aye dom, wtf, i wasnae joking!

― N_RQ, Wednesday, 12 October 2005 10:38 (twenty years ago)

they're also looking for a chief sub, i see. christ, that would be a thankless job.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 10:40 (twenty years ago)

it should be me because i tell it like it is as ILM knows

and if anyone in teh nme gives me GUFF then it will be THE BOG for them

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!, Wednesday, 12 October 2005 10:51 (twenty years ago)

you are a born chief sub! apply now.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 12 October 2005 10:54 (twenty years ago)

It's too late too stop now.

http://www.ipcmedia.com/jobs/job.php?id=389

― Imran Ahmed Former Job, Wednesday, 19 October 2005 06:55 (twenty years ago)

candidates lacking contact books need not apply.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 06:58 (twenty years ago)

The "people" will be upset to know that I decided against applying for this, and am instead applying for front section editor at Bizarre.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 07:37 (twenty years ago)

"front section"

― DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 07:53 (twenty years ago)

no point my applying for this anyway as i'm already on ipc's blackity blacklist.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 07:58 (twenty years ago)

You could follow in the footsteps of The Alarm Marcello, and get some pretty boy 20-something to serve as a mouthpiece for your fractured sideways take on contemporary pop.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 08:04 (twenty years ago)

Actually I am currently in negotiation with the BBC to see if they'll agree to TV's Ian MacShane coming on Newsnight Review "as me," in other words, he acts out my script and acts as my fractured sideways mouthpiece.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 08:06 (twenty years ago)

I think it'd be funnier if you got Tinker in to do it instead.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 08:07 (twenty years ago)

Is Tinker still alive, even?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 08:11 (twenty years ago)

http://imdb.com/name/nm0840303/

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 08:13 (twenty years ago)

"I love playing with words. I think all my life what I'm unconsciously doing is struggling against respectability. That is my bete noire, my raison d'etre or whatever the f*** you call it."

"Acting, for me, has always been a reaction -- a neurotic reaction to life. When life gets too puzzling I start acting."

He's got the MC MC schtick down pat.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 08:16 (twenty years ago)

Tinker is alive and (not at all well) and living in the South West, occasionally acting in short films. The short film in which I played a louché Nazi was up against a short film with him playing a drunkard for an award as Best Devon Short 2003. We won.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 08:31 (twenty years ago)

i didn't know you were an actor.

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 08:33 (twenty years ago)

I used to do a lot of am.dram. stage stuff as a kid - I stage-managed a local Youth Theatre for a year before university - and working where I work now I come into contact with a lot of people who make short films, and one of them asked me to be in one. The other month I was assistant director on a guy's MA short film.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 08:35 (twenty years ago)

i acted, at uni. within two weeks of getting there two of us starred, and a third wrote the script. we won a prize, but we also went a bit mad and intense and actory and so we never did it again.

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 08:45 (twenty years ago)

I did drama modules in the first year at university before switching to philosophy - the highest mark I got while at uni was for a short play (Strindberg adaptation) I directed; we got 86%.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 09:16 (twenty years ago)

instead applying for front section editor at Bizarre

good stuff. and good luck (despite the fact you declined the chance to learn at the feet of teh masters :)

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 09:46 (twenty years ago)

anyway i think ILM should apply AS A COLLEKTIVE.

so we need THREE FEATURE ideas to send to conor-baby.

1) the music press - whither
2) the libertines - do me a fucking favour
3) rachel stevens - owns your indie shit hands down

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 09:51 (twenty years ago)

1) A retrospective look at that episode of Lovejoy with the Hothouse Flowers: what does it mean for music in a wider context?
2) The "hot" one from The Zutons- not that hot really.
3) Alex Kapranos speaks to a real live homosexual- hilarity ensues.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 09:55 (twenty years ago)

(xp)

"conor-baby" produces a copy of that week's charts.

"rachel stevens at number 54? do ME a fucking favour."

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 10:12 (twenty years ago)

the nme could 'discover' her, that's my hook, y'see? she could be the new MIA, given the right outfit and off-colour political outlook. then she could hit, ooh, top 80 at least.

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 10:15 (twenty years ago)

too late for anyone to discover "tory girl rachel stevens."

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 10:19 (twenty years ago)

DOM, APPLY FOR THE FUCKING JOB.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 10:19 (twenty years ago)

'discover' as in 'for indie kids'. i dare say not every ilm popist was convinced by 'funky dory', she's definitely built 'indie cred' since then, i think.

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 10:20 (twenty years ago)

funky dory currently on sale, mint, for £2.99 in tooting oxfam.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 10:21 (twenty years ago)

too late for dom to apply for the fucking job.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 10:21 (twenty years ago)

the nme is not interested in popism, potential or actual.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 10:22 (twenty years ago)

anyway i think ILM should apply AS A COLLEKTIVE.
so we need THREE FEATURE ideas to send to conor-baby.
1) the music press - whither
2) the libertines - do me a fucking favour
3) rachel stevens - owns your indie shit hands down

-- Enrique (miltonpinsk...), October 19th, 2005.

OK I BACK DOWN MARCELLO YOU ARE RIGHT I WON'T ACTUALLY BE SENDING THIS AFTER ALL

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 10:24 (twenty years ago)

THE BLOW MONKEYS INTERVIEW THE ARTIC MONKEYS

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 10:25 (twenty years ago)

In the current climate Henry you would be better sending that proposal to the music section of Time Out except WE ALL AGREE ANYWAY.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 10:29 (twenty years ago)

What you keep forgetting is that the NME is designed to be XFM in print.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 10:29 (twenty years ago)

But XFM has a hip-hop show!

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 10:33 (twenty years ago)

I meant daytime XFM.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 10:34 (twenty years ago)

too late for dom to apply for the fucking job.

is it? rats' cocks. dom is now in my little black book with big daggers next to his name.

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 12:14 (twenty years ago)

does dom like the arctic monkeys? is dom prepared to be paid to like the arctic monkeys? does dom consider the comeback single by the strokes to be the latest and brightest envelope to be pushed in the long and glorious history of rock?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 12:30 (twenty years ago)

They should have hired Miss Dynamite.

― Masked Gazza, Wednesday, 19 October 2005 12:30 (twenty years ago)

not to be confused with the recording artist ms dynamite who has just unleashed her smash hit number 43 for one week album

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 12:32 (twenty years ago)

Dom's main reason for not applying is because I'm not yet jaded enough to take a job that would involve lying through my fucking teeth from 9-5 each day. Give me at least six months.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 12:36 (twenty years ago)

what are you up to at the moment anyway, dom?

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 12:38 (twenty years ago)

obv response: what 9-5 job doesn't involve lying through your teeth every day, in varying degrees?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 12:42 (twenty years ago)

(x-post)

Finishing my third week of temping so I can actually afford to go down to Londra to do work placements for Dennis Publishing for a month as of Monday.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 12:45 (twenty years ago)

obv response: what 9-5 job doesn't involve lying through your teeth every day, in varying degrees?

Caustic reality TV/talent show judge.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

Simon Cowell really loves all that cod-melismatic pseudo-soul warbling, doesn't he?

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 12:46 (twenty years ago)

wow are you going to work at maxim?

xpost

― N_RQ, Wednesday, 19 October 2005 12:47 (twenty years ago)

dennis own viz now, don't they? ooh :)

― grimly fiendish (grimlord), Wednesday, 19 October 2005 12:48 (twenty years ago)

So the chief sub-editor famously wound-up by a Hope Of The States fan has finally reached his wits' end....

― persecution_smith, Thursday, 20 October 2005 10:06 (twenty years ago)

four months pass...

I love you, but i've chosen.... Krissi Murison.

― ConorMCC (Jaap Schip), Thursday, 16 March 2006 04:59 (twenty years ago)

ysi?

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Thursday, 16 March 2006 09:42 (twenty years ago)

Will Krissi turn NME into the Melody Martian we all need?

― UncutFunk (Jaap Schip), Friday, 17 March 2006 10:10 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.