Songs in which the singer brags about the size of his penis

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Extra marks if it is actually a good song...

― Slavoj Zizek's lingerie model wife, Thursday, 13 October 2005 10:40 (twenty years ago)

missy elliott/ludacris 'one minute man'

― N_RQ, Thursday, 13 October 2005 10:47 (twenty years ago)

hip-hop isn't songs, silly

― Sociah T Azzahole (blueski), Thursday, 13 October 2005 10:48 (twenty years ago)

Like the heather of the Highlands, mine is tipped with flecks of purple
With a head as wise as Solomon, although shaped like a turtle
It wears a flesh-tone roll-neck and the neck goes up and down
It comes out in the evenings and on Friday paints the town
Obsessively, compulsively, it only wants one thing
To fill your chosen orifice with ropes of pearly string
Delivering its message to your womb or to your tongue
And then going slack and flaccid when its pressing work is done

Momus - The Penis Song

― jz, Thursday, 13 October 2005 10:53 (twenty years ago)

i would mention a dozen hip hop songs but the mountains too high

― lethalfizzle, Thursday, 13 October 2005 10:56 (twenty years ago)

That Kid Rock one where the midget says something funny.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 13 October 2005 10:58 (twenty years ago)

Mojo Nixon - "Tie My Pecker to My Leg"

"I got a woman, six feet 10
She's gotta be that tall
so I can get it all in"

― Jazzbo (jmcgaw), Thursday, 13 October 2005 10:58 (twenty years ago)

Danny McNamara denied that the lyric "it makes it easy knowing everyone has a smaller version of what I've got" from "Blind" was about the size of his dick.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Thursday, 13 October 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

King Missle: "Detachable Penis"

― Matt Carlson (mattsoncarlhew), Thursday, 13 October 2005 11:29 (twenty years ago)

'i killed robert christgau with my big fucking dick'

― N_RQ, Thursday, 13 October 2005 11:37 (twenty years ago)

"Larger Than Life" by Kiss
"I Got the Six" by ZZ Top
"Beef Bologna" by FEAR

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 13 October 2005 12:17 (twenty years ago)

How could I forget -
"Big Ten-Inch Record" by Moose Jackson

― Jazzbo (jmcgaw), Thursday, 13 October 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

anything by aztec camera

RODDY~~~

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!, Thursday, 13 October 2005 13:08 (twenty years ago)

Happy Mondays - 'Bring A Friend'

"Well I might be a honky
But I'm hung like a donkey"

― rw, Thursday, 13 October 2005 13:18 (twenty years ago)

Led Zeppelin, "Whole Lotta Love"
James Taylor, "Steamroller"
Peter Gabriel, "Sledgehammer"

And, of course, the greatest one of all:

PJ Harvey, "50 Ft Queenie."

― Alfred Soto (Alfred Soto), Thursday, 13 October 2005 13:24 (twenty years ago)

he's not singing about his penis exactly, but "Big Balls" by AC/DC

"Take Me" by Kiss -- "Put your hand in my pocket and grab onto my rocket"

― bsj30 (bsj30), Thursday, 13 October 2005 14:11 (twenty years ago)

Zodiac Mindwarp and the Love Reaction - Prime Mover

"I'm shootin' babies from the end of my dick, this ain't science baby this is magic!"

(Although he doesn't state the size of his dong in this, but I'm guessing he thinks it's pretty big).

― bg (creamolafoam), Thursday, 13 October 2005 14:12 (twenty years ago)

Correction, that was "High Priest of Love" not "Prime Mover". Not that they sound the same or anything...

― bg (creamolafoam), Thursday, 13 October 2005 14:16 (twenty years ago)

Ying Yang Twins, "Wait (The Whisper Song)"

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 13 October 2005 14:18 (twenty years ago)

"Ropes of string" is actually very, very bad writing for Momus.

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:00 (twenty years ago)

Buddy Holly - Not Fade Away

"my love's bigger than a cadillac ...."

― Brad Laner (Brad Laner), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:08 (twenty years ago)

xpost

Momus has a smooth, likeable prose style, but as a lyricist he's guilty of appalling doggerel. He's the William MacGonagall of indie.

― Salif Keita, Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:09 (twenty years ago)

Hahahaha
More like Ogden Nash in his older, I-don't-give-a-shit Hallmark years. Surely Colin Meloy is the MacGonagall.

Sorry everyone, we're getting off subject here:

PENIS!

― joseph cotten (joseph cotten), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

nearly every New Order song live.

Esp. early version of Perfect Kiss titled:

I've Got a Cock the Size of the M1!

― biz, Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:26 (twenty years ago)

"Gigantic" and "One Divine Hammer"

― Mark (MarkR), Thursday, 13 October 2005 15:34 (twenty years ago)

McLusky "To Hell With Good Intentions"

"My love is bigger than your love, sing it!"

― Brent W, Saturday, 15 October 2005 16:05 (twenty years ago)

and the bulge in my big big big big big big big big big BIG

― peter gabriel (miccio), Saturday, 15 October 2005 16:32 (twenty years ago)

You could have a steam train
If you’d just lay down your tracks
You could have an aeroplane flying
If you bring your blue sky back

All you do is call me
I’ll be anything you need

You could have a big dipper
Going up and down, all around the bends
You could have a bumper car, bumping
This amusement never ends

I want to be your sledgehammer
Why don’t you call my name
Oh let me be your sledgehammer
This will be my testimony
Show me round your fruitcage
’cos I will be your honey bee
Open up your fruitcage
Where the fruit is as sweet as can be

I want to be your sledgehammer
Why don’t you call my name
You’d better call the sledgehammer
Put your mind at rest
I’m going to be-the sledgehammer
This can be my testimony
I’m your sledgehammer
Let there be no doubt about it

Sledge sledge sledgehammer

I’ve kicked the habit
Shed my skin
This is the new stuff
I go dancing in, we go dancing in
Oh won’t you show for me
And I will show for you
Show for me, I will show for you
Yea, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do mean you
Only you
You’ve been coming through
Going to build that power
Build, build up that power, hey
I’ve been feeding the rhythm
I’ve been feeding the rhythm
Going to feel that power, build in you
Come on, come on, help me do
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you
I’ve been feeding the rhythm
I’ve been feeding the rhythm
It’s what we’re doing, doing
All day and night

― peter gabriel (miccio), Saturday, 15 October 2005 16:33 (twenty years ago)

And, of course, the greatest one of all:

PJ Harvey, "50 Ft Queenie."

I think Alfred has just outdone everyone on this thread.

― Bimble The Nimble, Jumped Over A Thimble! (Bimble...), Saturday, 15 October 2005 16:39 (twenty years ago)

The Macc Lads - Failure with Girls

"And I'm not weak anymore
'cos me dick measures 3 foot 4
So don't you call me wimp
'cos it's 3 foot 4 even when it's limp"

― Niall, Saturday, 15 October 2005 22:35 (twenty years ago)

The Black Flag/H. Rollins "Who's got the 10 1/2 ?" skit on their live album.
And that infamous Ms. Thing accapella.

― blunt (blunt), Saturday, 15 October 2005 22:53 (twenty years ago)

Nine Inch Nails - Big Man With a Gun

"I am a big man, yes I am
and I have a big gun
got me a big old Dick and I like to have fun"

― golden mean, Sunday, 16 October 2005 00:44 (twenty years ago)

"Downtown Train"

― fins of fury, Sunday, 16 October 2005 23:15 (twenty years ago)

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