Which artist would you Gladly pay 28million dollars to NOT make any more records.

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I mean, besides Mariah Carey.

― Lord Custos, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Okay, my answer: I'd form a foundation whose only job would be hunt down and destroy all masters/copies of Barry Manilow, Paul Anka, Neil Diamond and Neil Sedaka records. I'd fund $5million for each and save the last $8million just to remove all evidence of the existence of Billy Ray Cyrus.

― Lord Custos, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Linda Perry. And she can't ruin anyone else's either.

― Arthur, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Besides? I wanna see her duet with Whitney Houston.

― helenfordsdale, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If I had $28 million, fuck paying it on other musicians. That cash is mine, let everyone else make stupid records on their own dollar!

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

yawn. i'm sure you'll make them all sorry for polluting your fragile musical environment. do we need this kind of thread every couple days just so people can kvetch about the same easy targets, each with its own clever, topical twist such as this?

if you like any kind of music to any extent, there should be enough records out already to last you a lifetime of contented listening. this constant spilling of bile is tired and i'm not sure why people bother. it's one thing if you wanna criticize careers that you see some value in, but if you're just waiting to unload a laundry list of absolute dismissals, it's barely even conversation fodder.

ok, rant over. just had to get that off my chest#$&^#&^^$#(*&$@#(&*$(&^#@

― al, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Naw, al. The point of these threads is actually to stir up amusing flames. Its great fun when some zipperhead freaks out and gets the entire Neil Sedaka fanclub in here to demand that we all "Honour the Fire" on behalf of the Great and Wise Lord Sedaka, the greatest musician who ever walked the face of the Earth!

― Lord Custos, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Taking Troll Sides: Custos vs. dq vs. doomie, FITE!

― Sterling Clover, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Neil Diamond? Come on, he's terrific, you fool.

― Gage-o, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Andrew WK, without a doubt. Although it would bother me to be giving a joke like him so much money; I think it'd be worth it to eliminate the threat of ever hearing him again!

― dyson, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Really, I've gotta agree with Ned on this one. If I have $28 million, I'm keeping it.

― Dan Perry, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Prince. I mean really...

― john-paul, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Helen--she's already done a duet with Whitney...

― cybele, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Very good answer, Ned. Let's start with the premise that I've already got $28 billion in the bank. I'll forego $28 million to end the careers of all these whiny, angry grunge-lite bastards singing about their horrible lives. What are these guys so angry about? Perhaps their lack of songwriting chops? Go away, Creed and Matchbox 20 and all your insipid minions. Go away, imbecile bleach-blonde guy who sings, "I had a bad day." Also, I'll set aside another $28 million for the piano-twinkling buffoonery of Five for Fighting. Hey, piano guy, you're not "that naive," right? Take this $28 million and shove off. Your plaintive wail sorta sucks.

― Tim DiGravina, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Who do you make the check out to in order to stop Tupac from making more records?

― Curt, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

If I had $28 billion dollars, I still would not give an artist $28 million to stop recording. (I can think of artists I would pay $28 million to record an album only for me, though.)

― Dan Perry, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah, that would stir Kevin S. to record, hopefully. Or he'd buy $28 million worth of pot and blissfully see out the end of his days, which I wouldn't mind doing for him either. :-)

For Tim -- no, not even then would I give them the money. I'd just turn off the radio!

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ned, where I live I can't even turn on the radio, let alone turn it off. I live downtown, so I have to listen to tons of blaring music from cars passing by; if my $28 million spared me from hearing just those fleeing 10 seconds of that Five for Fighting song, it'd be money well spent.

― Tim DiGravina, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ah, then invest in $28 million earplugs. Specially designed to keep bad sounds out and good sounds in.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ned, since you won't agree with me... how about this? I give you $28 million. You can keep half and pass the other half to Five for Fighting and ask them never to play that horrible song again. You in yet?

― Tim DiGravina, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Why not just pay somebody a million to kill the guy?

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

if i had the money i would give lord custos $28 million to never post again.

― ethan, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ned, I'm speechless, almost. I sure hope that Five FF guy doesn't get killed now... The media would lionize him and then there'd be the countless commercials promoting his "starring role" in the next low- budget Anne Rice adaptation.

― Tim DiGravina, Friday, 22 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Taking for granted that $28m is insignificant to me, I'll start with the whiny indie acts who think they're important. I reckon I could get Stereophonics wiped out for less than this, to start with. And if we can wipe out any evidence of an act's very existence and back catalog, my teen years were the '70s, so I still have loads of residual hatred for ELP. Not terribly relevant now, I know, but I can't wholly let go...

― Martin Skidmore, Saturday, 23 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

TARKUS vs Skidmore: Fite!! (and a v.short one too heh)

― mark s, Saturday, 23 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Why bother paying the artist money to not make any more records when you could like have 28 artists killed by 28 different hitmen.

― Ronan, Saturday, 23 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

MY POINT, Ronan. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Saturday, 23 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Taking Troll Sides: Custos vs. dq vs. doomie, FITE!
Custos whips out his Tool of Doom and deals doom onto all the homes of the doomed. HAW HAW. Wheres my Michelob and Beef Jerky?

― Lord Custos, Saturday, 23 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

if i had the money i would give lord custos $28 million to never post again.
Excellent. Shall it be a wire transfer or a big attache full of 100 dollar bills?

― Lord Custos, Monday, 25 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Puffy, but only if his minions (what few there are left anyway) agreed not to record as well.

― Dave Beckhouse, Monday, 25 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Pearl Jam. Or at least Eddie Vedder.

Matter of fact, I'd gladly play $28M for Eddie Vedder to just crawl off to some island somewhere and never return.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Tuesday, 26 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

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