Mark E Smith Reads out English football results 19/11/05 n BBCi

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Utterly hopeless, and utterly fantastic at the same time
"west hame united 1h"
Short interview with him by Ray Stubbs afterwards too

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/s.bending/mes_results191105.rm

― smudger (smudger), Monday, 21 November 2005 23:28 (twenty years ago)

hahaha!

"Tottenham Hotspur...postponed...West Ham...one haitch"

― Teh HoBB (the pirate king), Monday, 21 November 2005 23:47 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, it was a classic bit of tv but only marginally funnier than Tony Gubba interviewing Peter Crouch.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Monday, 21 November 2005 23:51 (twenty years ago)

Boot mix it, someone!

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 09:36 (twenty years ago)

I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Loads of teams are suddenly called Town, ie Southampton Town.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 10:40 (twenty years ago)

"what is the background to the theme from sparta f.c.?"
"i dunno."

― j b everlovin' r (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 10:47 (twenty years ago)

Relatively genial and coherent, compared with his 'performance' on Newsnight on the day John Peel died.

― Japanese Giraffe (Japanese Giraffe), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 12:13 (twenty years ago)

why doesnt he do this every week?? DORWICH CITEH

manchester citeh was hopless as usual and why have you got a no.1 haircut?

but ARE YOU THE NEW MANAGER?

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!, Tuesday, 22 November 2005 12:27 (twenty years ago)

xpost I got to see that Newsnight, some time later after the fuss.

It wasn't that bad! Coherant, genial by his standards.

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 12:59 (twenty years ago)

Is it my turn? Is it my turn to speakeh?

― TRG (TRG), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 14:48 (twenty years ago)

he refused to say "Coca Cola"

― detoxyDancer (sexyDancer), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 15:22 (twenty years ago)

"one of the writers of Sparta FC"

― Lukas (lukas), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 18:16 (twenty years ago)

Mark, my recollection of the newsnight thing was of Smith being incredibly difficult, not answering the questions and asking questions of his own ['Are you the new DJ?' being the one that sticks in the memory]. Perhaps it was just that a) he was in stark contrast to the fellow out of the Undertones, who was exceptionally pleasant and cooperative; and b) you just don't get people like him on Newsnight.

― Japanese Giraffe (Japanese Giraffe), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 18:40 (twenty years ago)

You know when they first introduced them, and they briefly cut to MES and he just sort of gurned...it was at that point you realised it was definitely a bad idea.

― Michael A Neuman (Ferg), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 19:02 (twenty years ago)

He fucking owned them football scores good though.

Appending "town" at random, man, what a legend.

― Michael A Neuman (Ferg), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 19:03 (twenty years ago)

I'd like to hear Mark E Smith reading the Shipping Forecast.

"North Utsire-uh, South Utsire-uh, Cromarty, German Bite-uh"

― Stewart Osborne (Stewart Osborne), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 19:05 (twenty years ago)

It was perhaps a bit of a wasted opportunity to not respond to Ray Stubbs' guileless question about the origins of Theme From Sparta FC by just coming out and saying "it's about a mythical football club that murders Chelsea fans", mind.

― Michael A Neuman (Ferg), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 19:10 (twenty years ago)

"Doncaster Rovers 4,... Bo-ho-ho-ournemouth 2"

― StanM (StanM), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 19:19 (twenty years ago)

he talk fun funny.

― that's so taylrr (ken taylrr), Tuesday, 22 November 2005 19:28 (twenty years ago)

He started well and polite enough, recounting how he and John seldom met but still held each other in high regard etc. Then when the interviewer (not Paxo if i recall true) went to the fellow o.o.t. undertones, Mark amused himself in the presumably otherwise empty box cupboard studio by swinging on a chair, gurning and getting bored. When the interview chap returned, suddenly, to Mark, he seemed startled, and made the DJ joke which the interviewer didn't understand so went straight back to the Undertones fellow for another 5 mins.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 09:37 (twenty years ago)

Newsnight transcript & video (top right)

― StanM (StanM), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 09:51 (twenty years ago)

Presenter: Mark, that is amazing just to listen to that er tribute to him there from [indistinct].. that everybody, from T-Rex onwards, every generation seemed to find, or he seemed to find something for every generation, including The Fall.
[silence]
Mark: ..er, am I allowed to speak now?
Presenter: yeah, go ahead...
Mark: er, right [chuckle] er, er, yeah, whatever, whatever you say. [looks a bit puzzled]

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 10:36 (twenty years ago)

he was mainly just confused by the earpiece i thought.

― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 11:02 (twenty years ago)

He talked about it somewhere, said he was upset because he's heard they were having difficulty repatriating JP's body, and the DJ quip was directed to The Undertone cos he thought he was angling for the vacant Radio 1 spot or something like that. Due to lack of visuals, it went to non-Paxo.

Personally, I think he was wellied as usual.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 11:11 (twenty years ago)

M.E.S. R.U.L.E.S.

― nancyboy (nancyboy), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 11:16 (twenty years ago)

Thanks Stan. Just watched the interview for the first time since and yes, it wasn't half as wild as I remember it.

― Japanese Giraffe (Japanese Giraffe), Wednesday, 23 November 2005 12:31 (twenty years ago)

five years pass...

That's the problem with England for instance, they don't play as a team any more, it's just five....errr, elevn...sort of egotists, you know.

― Death Cabron For Cutie (admrl), Sunday, 19 December 2010 22:00 (fifteen years ago)

A friend put this to music.

A lot better than a lot of actual Fall stuff from the last decade!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUbMHmtWjBA

― The Jolly Roget's Thesaurus (S-), Monday, 20 December 2010 02:12 (fifteen years ago)

It's sort of like a pan-UK version of It's Grim Up North

― Death Cabron For Cutie (admrl), Monday, 20 December 2010 02:24 (fifteen years ago)

A lot better than a lot of actual Fall stuff from the last decade!

Their last decade has been one of their best.

For What It's Worth, like.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 21 December 2010 10:18 (fifteen years ago)

You reckon? I think everything between The Unutterable to Your Future Our Clutter was quite forgettable.

Obviously lots of notable exceptions like 'Sparta FC' and 'Blind Man' etc. etc., but how can you say this is their best (and what are the boundaries between the decades)?

― The Jolly Roget's Thesaurus (S-), Tuesday, 21 December 2010 10:45 (fifteen years ago)

Wasn't fussed about "Fall heads Roll", but the last three have been great.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 21 December 2010 10:46 (fifteen years ago)

'imperial wax solvent' was brilliant as well

― the Chinese firewall of the heart (Michael B), Tuesday, 21 December 2010 11:46 (fifteen years ago)

That was one of them, yep.

― Mark G, Tuesday, 21 December 2010 11:51 (fifteen years ago)

the fall don't do bad decades. the 90's was as close as it got and there's still about 3 cds worth of solid-gold brilliance from that period

― smexy fishy hawt joey martin (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 21 December 2010 16:23 (fifteen years ago)

^^^ Oh hell yes. There's lots of experiments and dross on each album but cull the best from them all and it's unassailable quality for hours.

― Gerald McBoing-Boing, Tuesday, 21 December 2010 16:35 (fifteen years ago)

am on the record as saying that 'Levitate' as a single piece is essential and should not be abridged in any way - it's as close as we've gotten to the chaotic soul of MES the poet of England, imo

― smexy fishy hawt joey martin (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 21 December 2010 16:37 (fifteen years ago)

and I keep saying it but it remains true: Bonkers In Phoenix is one of the best pieces of music ever composed, as well as the best aural metaphor for the transient nature of partnership I've yet heard

stuff like 'The Birmingham School...' and The Marshall Suite and most of The Light User Syndrome and who knows what else is just peering directly into a reality we as a nation have barely begun to understand is part of our fabric

― smexy fishy hawt joey martin (acoleuthic), Tuesday, 21 December 2010 16:40 (fifteen years ago)

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