Thoughts on 2, no 3, no 4 famous Christmas songs

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So, who does the song I keep hearing in laundromats and supermarkets and dentist's waiting rooms this month, the one that goes something like "whoopdy do and dickery dock, don't get forget to hang up your sock, 'cause Santa Claus at 12 O'clock, will be comin' down your chimney DOWN (at which point the singer's voice gets lower), he'll be comin' down your chimney DOWN (at which point it gets lower again)? Sounds old old old, like some square (Dean Martin? okay, he's not a square totally, maybe, maybe he's not square at all, but for some reason the song always makes me think of him) trying ineptly and embarrassingly to "swing" and be hip and jazzy in the early '50s or something, but I swear I never heard it before this winter. Anyway, I HATE this fucking thing, especially that gratiutious repeating of the word "down" over and over again; it sets my teeth on edge. In other news, I've decided that "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" (originally from the *Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer* TV cartoon maybe? I'm too lazy to look it up), despite having incredibly dorky words for the most part ("and in case you didn't hear..." like, how the hell didn't we hear? you just SAID it, doofus, and the stuff about having a holly jolly Christmas didn't make sense the first time) (well, okay, maybe the "kiss her once for me" under the mistletoe line isn't completely awful, though there's something slightly sleazy about it I suppose), anyway, despite the words, I've finally realized that the song is really warmly and expertly SUNG (by who? Burl Ives, maybe?? again, not gonna look it up; mystery is important when it comes to Christmas songs) Anyway. whoever does it is a really good singer; he swings like the "chimney down" dimwit only pretends to, but with way more ease which is part of the trick obviously, and I'm wondering whether he sings better songs (i.e. non-Xmas ones) even better. And then there's "Jingle Bell Rock," which STILL gets played all the time even though its utter lack of rockingness must have made it sound ridiculous by the time, I dunno, the Beatles came along (when's it from? early '60s teen idol era, I'm betting?); if that's not one of the most cynically phony holiday songs ever, I don't know what is. And oh yeah also "Winter Wonderland," which is great, obviously, except kinda creepy in any version that whitewashes/secularizes out Parson Brown (who you ask to marry you when he's in town) to a Circus Clown, what the hell's that about? And it's weird that "frolic and play the Eskimo way" line never got whitewashed, too, I think. I wonder if any Eskimos have ever complained (a la Redskins football mascots and stuff).

― xhuxk, Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:07 (twenty years ago)

are you drunk? are you watching neil young on snl?

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:20 (twenty years ago)

dean wasn't square. he was the opposite of square. ever see rio bravo? his name was dude in that movie.

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:21 (twenty years ago)

yeah, burl ives.

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:22 (twenty years ago)

Okay, so then I guess it wasn't Dean! Somebody imitating him badly, maybe? I dunno. And nope, not drunk. Only one beer so far. Though I do have a bad head cold, if that counts.

Scott, how good is Burl Ives's other stuff, then? Is he as good as he seems he might be?

― xhuxk, Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:24 (twenty years ago)

christmas, in general, is pretty fucked. christmas in connecticut is a great movie though.

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:24 (twenty years ago)

Scott, are YOU drunk?

― xhuxk, Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:25 (twenty years ago)

burl ives? he's burl ives! you know, he's warm and cuddly like an old white-haired cup of cocoa. there are a zillion dollar-bin records with your name on them, chuck! explore the world of Burl!

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:26 (twenty years ago)

i am a little drunk. i never stay up this late.

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:27 (twenty years ago)

so, i never sent you anything for your birthday, but i'm gonna make you some tapes.

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:27 (twenty years ago)

i've been digging making tapes from old 45s.

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:28 (twenty years ago)

Ugh, yeah, the Chimney down song is sung by Andy Williams. Robotic Dean Martin? Check.

My favorite version of Winter Wonderland is still Perry Como's...who I kind of find has pretty much nailed all the Christmas Carols pretty well. Though that might be just because i grew up hearing his carols as a kid, so they're almost the definitive ones.

My worst Christmas songs are "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer", don't care who sings it, but it's like the goddamn McArthur Park of Christmas Carols because it NEVER ENDS. Also "Nuttin For Christmas" has to be the most godawful use of a child on a novelty song ever recorded, it makes me want to slap him silly. Oh and let's not forget the Chipmunks Christmas song, whatever it's called, I can't stand it.
Oh and one more: Bon Jovi's "Backdoor Santa". The imagery is just all wrong, it creeps me out way to much, since he's singing about the same guy who just kissed "Mommy".

― VegemiteGrrl (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:28 (twenty years ago)

see, andy williams is totally square. deano was the bomb.

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:30 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, first one is Andy Williams' "Happy Holiday/The Holiday Season." I've not heard enough by him but my snap judgement on him is that he's one of the more wooden singers of his kind -- he makes Perry Como seem wry.

Even though I can somtimes hear folkie overexpressiveness and rhythmic hoppity-hop in his voice, Burl Ives sings the way Burl Ives looks:

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000002AB9.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:33 (twenty years ago)

Andy Williams, that totally makes sense; why didn't I think of that? (And why are they suddenly playing his suckass song so much this year, when I never heard it before? Maybe it was in a recent movie or something?)

Perry Como is great. He was, like, the Sinatra of the Eddy household when I was a kid.

Scott, you should go to bed. And so should I.

― xhuxk, Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:33 (twenty years ago)

> I wonder if any Eskimos have ever complained.

1. There's only a few thousand "Eskimos" currently living,
which is irrelevant in any case; whites were the ones
who complained about cheesy Indian mascots. when asked, most
Indians like the mascots.

2. "White Christmas" is another holiday winner, it's beautiful
and warm, yet slightly haunting.

3. As for novelty Christmas records, it's hard to outdo
_Sounds Like Christmas_ by the December People, a dadrock
tribute to your favorite carols. It's kind of a quaint
curiosity, but it's quite well done; some of the arrangements are quite clever, and it's better then most novelty Christmas crap.

Here's the track listing

1. 'Carol Of The Bells' (as if performed by Yes)

2. 'We Three Kings' (as if performed by Sting)
Lead vocals by Steve Walsh

3. 'I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day' (as if performed by Queen)

4. 'Silent Night' (as if performed by Pink Floyd)
Lead vocals by John Wetton

5. 'What Child Is This?' (as if performed by Genesis)

6. 'Little Drummer Boy' (as if performed by ELP)

7. 'Twas The Night Before Christmas' (as if performed by Led Zeppelin)

8. 'Up On The Housetop/Deck The Halls' (as if performed by Kansas)

9. 'Angels We Have Heard On High/Christmas Lullaby'
(as if performed by Peter Gabriel)
Lead vocals by Steve Walsh

10. 'The First Noel' (as if performed by King Crimson)
Lead vocals by John Wetton
(mp3 or realaudio)

11. 'The Light' - performed by Kansas

12. 'Happy X-Mas/War Is Over' (as if performed by The Beatles)

― Squirrel_Police (Squirrel_Police), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:37 (twenty years ago)

(xpost)

What's interesting about the songs you've mentioned is that it reminds me that Christmas gives radio stations and yr piped-in-music providers a once-a-year opportunity (or excuse) to play the kinds of pop singers that were largely chased away from the airwaves ages ago. (NYC doesn't have a "music of your life" radio station anymore, does it?)

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:38 (twenty years ago)

"Holly Jolly Christmas" has a F'ing KICKASS acoustic guitar solo. Seriously. Burl was ahead of his time. He gets doen into those low notes and it's FONKAY.

And: I have always liked "Holiday Season" by Perry Como.

― Justin Shumaker (shueytexas), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:38 (twenty years ago)

here is the last tape i made, chuck. i was gonna make you a series like this:

Side One

Robert John - If You Don't Want My Love

The Association - Sometime

Eddie Rambeau - Clock

Glenn Miller Orchestra - Song Of India

Loretta Lynn - Spring Fever

Peggy Scott & Jo Jo Benson - Let's Spend A Day Out In The Country

Al Goodman & Orchestra - The Song Is You

Amazing Rhythm Aces - Ashes Of Love

Jim Owen & The Drifting Cowboys - A Gift In The Name Of Love

Blue Magic - Teach Me (It's Something About Love)

Boots Clement - I Can't Find Me

Foghat - I'll Be Standing By

Grandpa Jones - Nashville On My Mind

MFSB - To Be In Love

Billy "Crash" Craddock - Easy As Pie

Side Two

Johnny Tillotson - Judy, Judy, Judy

Mel Tillis - Love Revival

Bobby Vinton - Trouble Is My Middle Name

Gary Puckett - Leavin' In The Morning

Dale & Grace - I'm Not Free

Caravelles - The Last One To Know

The Duprees - Where Are You

Chi Coltrane - You Were My Friend

Jabara - One Man Ain't Enough

Jo Jo Gunne - I Wanna Love You

David Houston & Barbara Mandrell - A Perfect Match

Chi-lites - A Letter To Myself

Bobby G. Rice - The Whole World's Making Love Again Tonight

Micki Marlo - Pet Me, Poppa

The Essex - Are You Going My Way

Billy Fry - Lona's Gone (My Lona Lee)

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:39 (twenty years ago)

i am going to bed soon. i am turning pumpkin.

― scott seward (scott seward), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:40 (twenty years ago)

Yep. Despite the crack-backs on Christmas music, I have always wondered at the fact that once a year we get to hear Bing Crosby on Clear Channel, right next to Gloria Estefan.

I just love that kind of odd pairing, and it's cool that Christmas gives it to us.

― Justin Shumaker (shueytexas), Sunday, 18 December 2005 05:40 (twenty years ago)

nd then there's "Jingle Bell Rock," which STILL gets played all the time even though its utter lack of rockingness must have made it sound ridiculous by the time, I dunno, the Beatles came along (when's it from? early '60s teen idol era, I'm betting?); if that's not one of the most cynically phony holiday songs ever, I don't know what is. ,

If you're talking about the (original) Bobby Helms version of this song, it's an unqualified fucking classic in every way. Great rockabilly guitar playing on this one. 1957, by the way, and it was a hit single every Xmas for the next four years, as I recall.

(As an unabashed Beatles fanatic, I can certainly say it pwns "Christmas Time Is Here Again.")

― phil d. (Phil D.), Sunday, 18 December 2005 15:31 (twenty years ago)

> Robert John - If You Don't Want My Love

Sorry to derail, but I can't get past the "explaining the weather" line in this song. Bob's a meteorology major as well as a simpering falsetto brayer?

Back on track: I hope none of you have ever sat through Paul Revere & the Raiders' A Christmas Present ... And Past, the worst Christmas album ever recorded. They go so far as to suggest the soldiers at Valley Forge were as unwilling and questionable a presence there as those in Vietnam. Yikes.

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Sunday, 18 December 2005 17:05 (twenty years ago)

three years pass...

x-to-first-post - the guilty-sounding "Uh, no man" response to Parson Brown in The Platters' version of "Winter Wonderland" is such an awesome moment

― Cleveland Spider Cupid Childs (los blue jeans), Thursday, 26 November 2009 19:21 (sixteen years ago)

It IS rly weird and wrong when they change the parson to "circus clown." Esp. in this one version (no idea where from) with a woman singer who says "we'll have lots of fun with Mister Snowman/until the other kiddies knock him down," and the word 'kiddies' is spat out with this really blank derision. Creepy.

― mascara and ties (Abbott), Thursday, 26 November 2009 19:31 (sixteen years ago)

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