Songs That Ruined Everything

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Anybody remember this? I just caught it again on a late night SNL re-run. And I don't usually find myself laughing at their sketches, but the CD title alone had me holding back.

-----------
::Will Ferrell Speaking::
Hi. I'm Dennis DeYoung, lead singer of the rock group Styx. And that was our smash hit, "The Best of Times", a song that turned a respected art-rock quintent into an easy-listening laughingstock. You can hear that and other career-destroying hits on an amazing collection called "Songs That Ruined Everything". You'll get dozens of songs which signalled the beginning of the end for many formerly cool artists. Including:

"Abracadabra", by the Steve Miller Band..

.."Dancing In The Dark", by the Boss - Bruce Springsteen..

..and "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?" by Rod Stewart.

I'm sure we all remember the moment we lost respect for one of our favorite artists. Now you can relive that moment again and again. Imagine it's 1986, and you're eagerly awaiting the new album by the world's greatest rock-and-roll band.. and they give you this:

"Harlem Shuffle", by the Rolling Stones. You'll also get:

"Owner Of A Lonely Heart", by Yes.

.."Say, Say, Say", by Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney. Hey! This one ruined two reputations!

And, of course, "Jump", by Van Halen.

----------

And I'm sure that list can be added to..(Rod Stewart seconded.)

― mox twelve (Mox twleve), Sunday, 18 December 2005 09:23 (twenty years ago)

Aerosmith, "Dude Looks Like A Lady"
Stevie Wonder, "I Just Called To Say I Love You"
Metallica, "Enter Sandman"

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Sunday, 18 December 2005 11:32 (twenty years ago)

dire straits "twisting by the pool"

― jim p. irrelevant (electricsound), Sunday, 18 December 2005 11:35 (twenty years ago)

money fer nothing surely jim?

― mullygrubbr (bulbs), Sunday, 18 December 2005 11:43 (twenty years ago)

"Sing for the Moment"

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 18 December 2005 11:58 (twenty years ago)

"If The South Woulda Won," Hank Jr

― novamax (novamax), Sunday, 18 December 2005 14:13 (twenty years ago)

Coldplay - "Yellow"

― The Wanderers' Wandering Daughter (noodle vague), Sunday, 18 December 2005 14:16 (twenty years ago)

"Owner Of A Lonely Heart", by Yes.
"Jump", by Van Halen.

Any rational person would know that these are two of the greatest singles of the 1980s, and more people should ruin themselves in this way.

― edward o (edwardo), Sunday, 18 December 2005 14:28 (twenty years ago)

What I find amusing is how bad most of these acts were prior to these "songs that ruined everything" that are mentioned...
STYX?...sucked from day one of their formation. YES sucked from their beginning as well.
STEVE MILLER?....what was there to ruin? Crap songs, in the sixties and seventies. Abracadabra actually sounds a little better than the rest of that guy's junk.
Dancing In The Dark is a lot more respectable than a dud like Hungry Heart... a Hu-Hu-Hun-Gar-eee HEEEEAAAAARRRRTTTT. yikes. heh heh.
VAN HALEN? goodness gracious, the heavy metal lounge act of all time sucked upon arrival.
The premise was funny but these SNL writers obviously hold a shitty taste in music to have believed that any thing was any good by these particular artists in the first place.

― bahtsheetcrazy, Sunday, 18 December 2005 14:30 (twenty years ago)

Dancing In The Dark is only thought of as cheesy cos of the dodgy Courtney Cox starring video. It's a great song and if you listen to the lyrics, pretty dark and desperate.

― Stew loves the Boss, Sunday, 18 December 2005 15:03 (twenty years ago)

I prefer the Culturcide version.

― sleeve (sleeve), Sunday, 18 December 2005 17:37 (twenty years ago)

... and I nominate "This Is What You Want... This Is What You Get" by PIL.

― sleeve (sleeve), Sunday, 18 December 2005 17:48 (twenty years ago)

How about Oasis 'Roll With It'? That was pretty gash.

― Mr Gripper (Mr Gripper), Sunday, 18 December 2005 17:54 (twenty years ago)

at least three of those songs in the first post are my favorites by the artists mentioned, hah

― The Good Dr. Bill (The Good Dr. Bill), Sunday, 18 December 2005 18:39 (twenty years ago)

"Owner Of A Lonely Heart", by Yes.

This is a ridiculous condenmnation.

But, I'll submit...
"Rock the Casbah"/"Should I Stay or Should I Go?" by the Clash
"Candy" by Iggy Pop

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 18 December 2005 18:58 (twenty years ago)

Those three are great too, Alex! "Candy" pwns.

― edward o (edwardo), Sunday, 18 December 2005 19:08 (twenty years ago)

a lot of the ones in the initial post are ridiculous.

but i'll submit...
"old time rock and roll" by bob seger

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Sunday, 18 December 2005 19:17 (twenty years ago)

lou reed - i wish i was black
q tip - vivrant thing

― CHINA SLIM, Monday, 19 December 2005 00:10 (twenty years ago)

"2 Legit 2 Quit" ended things pretty abruptly for the Hammer, no?

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Monday, 19 December 2005 00:46 (twenty years ago)

YES sucked from their beginning as well.

VAN HALEN? goodness gracious, the heavy metal lounge act of all time sucked upon arrival.

You sucked upon arrival.

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Monday, 19 December 2005 00:52 (twenty years ago)

"Vivrant Thing" is great! (but it did contribute greatly to Q-Tip sucking)

― R. J. Greene, Monday, 19 December 2005 01:20 (twenty years ago)

Those three are great too, Alex! "Candy" pwns.

"Candy" sucks from a big Christmas basket of ribbon-wrapped cocks, but I'll take it back and replace it with "Real Wild Child" by Iggy.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 19 December 2005 02:22 (twenty years ago)

Nah, Candy was the shark jumper for Iggy. He hadn't figured out how to totally emasculate himself when he did Real Wild Child.

I third or fourth the defense of Owner of a Lonely Heart.

And Money for Nothing is definitely a classic in this genre. i still can't think about Dire Straits without sneering.

And wasn't it Babe that killed Styx, not Best of Times?

What was the Commodores song that Lionel Richie used to kill the band?

― Mitya (mitya), Monday, 19 December 2005 03:16 (twenty years ago)

"Still"? Or you thinking "Once Twice Three times, oh go on let me four times.."

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 19 December 2005 09:46 (twenty years ago)

I want to say "Misunderstanding" by Genesis, except I like the Duke/Abacab period. Perhaps "Illegal Alien."

― mike a, Monday, 19 December 2005 19:57 (twenty years ago)

I certainly Xth full support for "Owner Of A Lonely Heart", by Yes while coming to the rescue of "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" by the Clash. And People here hate "Tea in the Sahara" with a passion so maybe that's The Police's lowest moment, maybe not the earliest chronologically speaking.

Nothing tastes quite like an easy target so how about "Out Of Control" by U2 ? I believe that's their first song.

Out of Control is about waking up on your eighteenth birthday and realising that youre 18 years old and that the two most important decisions in your life have nothing to do with you - being born and dying.
Bono in Hot Press, October 1979

― blunt (blunt), Monday, 19 December 2005 22:09 (twenty years ago)

The involuntary capitalization of "people" in this post is as unintended as the purest lapsus révélateur...

― blunt (blunt), Monday, 19 December 2005 22:12 (twenty years ago)

lou reed - i wish i was black seconded!

outrage over condemnation of "Jump" and "Owner of a Lonely Heart" seconded.

also, please note that "Dancing in the Dark" was a great great song, and set up further Broooce synth-pop masterpieces like "Brilliant Disguise" and "Tunnel of Love".

and...Q-Tip was washed up before Vivrant Thing. which is an "okay" song.

oh yeah, and Dude Looks Like a Lady is dead-on...I listened to Toys in the Attic the weekend going thru some vinyl and was just amazed at how awesome 70s Aerosmith is!

― M@tt He1geson (Matt Helgeson), Monday, 19 December 2005 22:48 (twenty years ago)

Under the bridge - Red hot chili peppers

― zalwel zozijn (zalwel), Monday, 19 December 2005 22:57 (twenty years ago)

"I'll Be You" by the Replacements

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 19 December 2005 23:27 (twenty years ago)

"Is It Love?" by Gang of Four

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 00:10 (twenty years ago)

R.E.M., "Everybody Hurts"

― Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 00:14 (twenty years ago)

"Let the Music Do the Talking" by Aerosmith

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 00:16 (twenty years ago)

Party All The Time- Eddie Murphy

― cdwill, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 00:16 (twenty years ago)

'Reel around the fountain'.

Sniff.

― Gatinha (rwillmsen), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 00:17 (twenty years ago)

"Rock Me Tonight" by Billy Squier

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 00:18 (twenty years ago)

"This Corrosion" by the Sisters of Mercy. While I like the Floodland album, everything after it is pretty much crap with the sole exception of "Ribbons".

"Tower of Strength" by the Mission (although I liked "Beyond the Pale")

"Size of a Cow" by the Wonder Stuff

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 00:19 (twenty years ago)

(I don't know, should I paste parts 2 and 3?)

― Ruiner of Things, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 00:34 (twenty years ago)

No.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 00:36 (twenty years ago)

Stupid Al Gore. He should have designed the Internets to let you link to things you like that you think other people might like and they could decide for themselves instead of cramming a huge copy & paste down their throats. If only we had that functionality...

― Zimmer026 (Zimmer026), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 03:09 (twenty years ago)

That functionality was temporarily deleted along with the thread.

― Ruiner of Things, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 03:39 (twenty years ago)

continuing: eminem - mosh

― CHINA SLIM, Tuesday, 20 December 2005 04:12 (twenty years ago)

I think "Against the Wind" ruined more than "Old Time Rock & Roll," esp. the 583 choruses at the end.

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 04:27 (twenty years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.