Christgau on Christ Child

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I'm crying as I write this. I can't fucking believe he disrespected
Christ Child as ersatz punk rock. How could this have fucking happened?!

Christ Child
Hard [Buddah, 1978] C-
Consumer Guide Reviews:
Hard [Buddah, 1978]
This is not punk rock. This is an ambitious, anonymous bunch of heavy metal pros who thought it might be timely to use the words "punk" and "New Wave" on the back of their debut LP, and who are now really pissed at Johnny Rotten. Inspirational Verse: "Blow it up/Tear it down." C-

― George the Animal Steele, Thursday, 5 January 2006 22:42 (twenty years ago)

I have this horrible vision of ILM becoming like that episode of the Simpsons where Bart gets his ear pierced and every shop around him is a Starbucks, and the ear-piercing guy says "In 15 minutes' time this place is becoming a Starbucks".

It'll be like "Quick, hurry up talking about what you're doing, in 15 minutes' time this is becoming another Christgau thread."

― edward o (edwardo), Thursday, 5 January 2006 22:55 (twenty years ago)

delete this thread, someone. jess?

― gear (gear), Thursday, 5 January 2006 22:56 (twenty years ago)

Liked the band a lot, liked the album a lot. Not quite sure how to take the whole "this is not punk rock" thing, given how much the Christ Child sound (production?) owes to LA sessions hacks, which I suspect Christgau hasn't given his full attention.

― Kronos, Thursday, 5 January 2006 22:59 (twenty years ago)

I thought that album was called Let Them Eat Rock.

― Felonius Monster, Thursday, 5 January 2006 23:07 (twenty years ago)

how can we stop this? maybe if xgau threatened to sue everyone on ilx?

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 5 January 2006 23:10 (twenty years ago)

There was an entire Consumer Guide column with multiple usages of "This is not punk rock." It also included a review of "This Year's Model" that began that way.

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Thursday, 5 January 2006 23:14 (twenty years ago)

Bingo! That's what this entry and the one on The Hounds were taken from. I originally saw it in Creem, I think. Memory fades.

― George the Animal Steele, Thursday, 5 January 2006 23:18 (twenty years ago)

Yep, that's where it was.

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Thursday, 5 January 2006 23:47 (twenty years ago)

I read it there, anyway; I know it was also in the Voice. Here it is:
http://robertchristgau.com/xg/cg/cgv4-78.php

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Thursday, 5 January 2006 23:49 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, speaking of which, I thought it was hysterical and I had both Christ Child and Hounds rekkids. And loved them!

Of course, it's great for this thread, too:

Anyone else here not like giving bad reviews?

Inspirational verse, so to speak: ...I feel that it would be a massive waste of my time and energy to be writing about things that I do not like or care about.

― George the Animal Steele, Friday, 6 January 2006 00:02 (twenty years ago)

George, did you have that Boyzz LP, too?

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Friday, 6 January 2006 00:04 (twenty years ago)

Of course! Dirty Dan Buck on "Too Wild to Tame!" The subsequent B'zzz record, too.

― George the Animal Steele, Friday, 6 January 2006 00:09 (twenty years ago)

Dirty Dan is still around, according the Internet, playing gigs, plotting a future album.

===
Dirty Dan Buck
Dirty Dan Buck reformed The Boyzz in 1999 with new members, John Abel-Guitar, Gregg Potter-Drums, John Skender-Bass, Jimmi Perrino-Keyboards and Jean Uselmann-Backup Vocals. They have been opening for the likes of Leslie West, Uriah Heep, Kansas...and currently working on a new CD. [Goddamn, where's Anatole Halinkovich??]
====

The Boyzz from Illinoiz.

― George the Animal, Friday, 6 January 2006 00:18 (twenty years ago)

I remember a Boyzz reference on "WKRP in Cincinnati." Good old Midwest.

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Friday, 6 January 2006 01:27 (twenty years ago)

I'll admit to liking the Christ Child album too, although like Christgau I always figured it was a bunch of sessionmen goofing on punk. On the cover, most of the bandmembers are facing away from the camera, and the one who isn't is wearing shades. And the back cover doesn't even list the musicians' names. Still a good album in spite of itself.

(I seem to recall Dave Marsh giving this LP a nasty review in both Rolling Stone and the second, blue-cover ROLLING STONE RECORD GUIDE.)

― Rev. Hoodoo (Rev. Hoodoo), Friday, 6 January 2006 08:06 (twenty years ago)

Heh heh, yep! Here it is: "Inane attempt to cash inon punk by band that developed "their expression in the hills of Malibu and Topanga Canyons" according to the liner notes, which conclude, "You will love it - you will hate it - you will not ignore it!" We haven't, but it's our job. The rest of the world has, quite wisely, resisted more successfully. A truly putrid artifact."

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Friday, 6 January 2006 08:47 (twenty years ago)

Topanga Canyon is an entirely good place to do hard rock! (It worked for Spirit.) I did not ignore it. "Five Finger Exercise," a song about jerking your johnson, was the finest of middlebrow workingman's metal.

― George the Animal Steele, Friday, 6 January 2006 08:59 (twenty years ago)

And essentially in the same vein, therefore good. Search for it in the cutouts. I haven't seen it in years. Perhaps people are hoarding copies.

Christgau on The Hounds

― George the Animal Steele, Friday, 6 January 2006 09:02 (twenty years ago)

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