WWLD (What Would Lester Do?)

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Bangs is back. What bands make him glad to be around and what trends make him wish he were dead... Er, still dead.

― Brian O'Neill (NYCNative), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 10:08 (twenty years ago)

I would have always imagined he would have loved Run-DMC.

He would have probably loved Lightning Bolt, then hated Lightning Bolt, then loved Lightning Bolt.

He would have had a blog, and it would have been so good that no one would read any one else's blogs...

Also, he would have loved Houston hip-hop because, tragically, he sure loved cough sryup.

― Whiney G. Weingarten (whineyg), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 14:22 (twenty years ago)

He'd go infiltrate the slums of London to do a huge piece on grime. It'd be amazing, and everyone would subsequently either embrace the genre full on, or it would die in its tracks

― sovietpanda (sovietpanda), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:42 (twenty years ago)

he would have eventually written a few novels and abandoned music crit entirely except for a few vestigial pieces a year.

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:44 (twenty years ago)

He would have killed Chuck Klosterman in a duel.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:45 (twenty years ago)

He would have written a screenplay about a sensitive flower delivery driver who never meets any available women, and the title role (FLOWERBOYS NEED NOT APPLY) would have gone to C. Thomas Hoffman.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:47 (twenty years ago)

He would have killed Chuck Klosterman in a duel.

The sweet visions.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:47 (twenty years ago)

I'd like to think Jess would be OTM, but I'm worried it would be some hideous marriage of Meltzer and Hornby.

― Zwan (miccio), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:52 (twenty years ago)

He would have probably loved Lightning Bolt, then hated Lightning Bolt, then loved Lightning Bolt.

Hmmm...I tend to doubt that. He hated Rush, so he wouldn't have loved Lightning Bolt.

― Lawrence the Looter (Lawrence the Looter), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:53 (twenty years ago)

I can't imagine why anybody who read Bangs' work in 1981 would want to know what he thinks of rock today.

― Zwan (miccio), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:53 (twenty years ago)

i think bangs would be less hung up about "selling out" than meltzer has been. like, you know, doing press for his books and stuff.

― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:54 (twenty years ago)

Meltzer did crazy press for his 2000 collection.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:55 (twenty years ago)

the books would be more populist, too. hence the inclusion of hornby.

― Zwan (miccio), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:55 (twenty years ago)

he probably would have changed his mind about the fall by 1984 or 85

― don't start a RYE-OTT! (plsmith), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 18:58 (twenty years ago)

He would've been a huge Sonic Youth fan.

― Mr. Snrub (Mr. Snrub), Wednesday, 11 January 2006 19:38 (twenty years ago)

i can't decide how he would feel about Royal Trux

― sovietpanda (sovietpanda), Thursday, 12 January 2006 00:01 (twenty years ago)

he would loathe my humps

― Hairy Asshurt (Toaster), Thursday, 12 January 2006 00:24 (twenty years ago)

He'd be reviewing Stooges reissues for Mojo. Or 50 words about a ? & the Mysterians Best Of for the Observer Music Monthly's "Other Releases" column.

― bham, Thursday, 12 January 2006 09:49 (twenty years ago)

would he post on ILM?

― latebloomer: Let's just say I do for bullshit what Stonehenge did for Rocks (lat, Thursday, 12 January 2006 09:55 (twenty years ago)

ILM would post on Lester.

Oh hang on...

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 12 January 2006 10:11 (twenty years ago)

this thread is rediculous.

― Stephen C (ihope), Thursday, 12 January 2006 10:24 (twenty years ago)

He would have "got religion" if not literally then figuratively, become a crusading radical vegan or post-rehab self-help guru. The guy was a TRUE BELIEVER who would've found another obsession to replace rock & roll. And surely Lester would've hated Nirvana and the grunge thing, Kirt Cobain was guilty of the LB cardinal sins -- solipsism and contempt for your audience.

Sentimentally I like to think that Lester would've written novels in noveau pulp style a la Nick Tosches. But none of the posthumously published "fictional" scraps support that, he seemed to be stuck in his patented mode of autobiographical blurt. But you know it says a lot that we're even considering this admittedly silly question.

"Goodbye baby and amen" RIP dude.

― m coleman (lovebug starski), Thursday, 12 January 2006 10:59 (twenty years ago)

as someone once said about elvis, if lester were alive today, he'd probably be dead by now.

― J.D. (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 12 January 2006 11:07 (twenty years ago)

And surely Lester would've hated Nirvana and the grunge thing, Kirt Cobain was guilty of the LB cardinal sins -- solipsism and contempt for your audience.

An astude obervation, but I think he would have been conflicted because the band also played to one of his weaknesses - a bright light at the end of a dark tunnel.

― Brian O'Neill (NYCNative), Thursday, 12 January 2006 11:16 (twenty years ago)

I'm not sure how Nirvana had contempt for their audience (solipsism I can't disagree with). Nirvana had a great collective sense of humor and willingness to mock the music industry and puncture self-importance, traits Lester once praised the Alice Cooper Band for. The opening scene of -Live, Tonight, Sold Out- (the music industry parody ad) has a Bangs-like sensibility.

Anyway, I'd guess that Bangs might have moved out of music writing for the most part and concentrated on fiction, which, if I remember DeRogatis' book correctly, was the direction he was headed at the end of his life. The fictional scraps he left behind are autobiographical, but if he spent more time and effort on fiction (away from the music beat), that might have changed. I don't have a copy of the bio handy, but I vaguely remember a suggestion that Bangs started to take his fiction much more seriously near the end.

― James, Thursday, 12 January 2006 13:56 (twenty years ago)

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