Stilted band breakup announcments : c/d?

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I know I know. Very Chunklet/High Fidelity of me.. but it's FUN, DAMMIT!

Once again, prompted by the Pavement thread:

One of the ways Malkmus allegedly let a crowd of concert goers know that his band Pavement was breaking up was putting his wrists together with a motion of air shackles and explaining, to paraphrase, "this is what it feels like to be in this band".

So, this is where you can either:

  • cough up other stilted band breakup announcement stories... They don't have to be public announcements, but you get brownie points if they are. Also, more points for less popular bands, for the self-inflation factor.
  • Write your own stilted band breakup announcement for a band you wished would break up.

Brian MacDonald, Wednesday, 6 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Marty: Has he ever done this before? Has he ever....
David: well, no.
Marty; ...quit the band before?
David:No, but it's....you've got to understand that like in the world of rock and roll there are certain changes that sometimes occur, and you've just got to, sort of, roll with them, you know.
I mean you read... we read... you saw exactly how many people who's been in the band....37 people's been in this band over the years. I mean It's like , you know, six months from now, I can't see myself missing Nigel more than I might miss Ross McLochness or Ronnie Pudding or Danny Upham or Little Danny Shinder, or any of those, you know, it's...
Marty:I don't believe it. I can't believe it...you know, you're lumping Nigel in with these people you've played with for a short period of time?
David: Well, I'm sure I'd feel much worse if I weren't under such heavy sedation, but still in all, you've got to be realistic about this thing, you know....
Marty: So, what happens to the band now?
David: What do you mean?
Marty: He's not coming back, or...?
David: No, we shan't work together again.

Dave225, Wednesday, 6 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Celine Dion (addressing a Quebec audience right after the disgusting final notes of that Titanic song): Everyone, I know I've lied about retiring in the past. It was fun, though. Maybe a couple more of you bought my album because you thought I'd never release another one. Well, this time it's real. This is a non-Renee sanctioned retirement. Goodbye, all. (kills herself onstage (you pick the method))

FS, Wednesday, 6 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ziggy Stardust to crowd: "Not only is this the last show of the tour, but it's the last show we'll ever do."

Sean, Wednesday, 6 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Justin Timberlake (from on top of some precarious-looking stilts): This is bullshit. Fuck you guys, I'm going solo! *hobbles off stage*
Lance Bass: ...Huh? *falls off stilts*

Dan Perry, Wednesday, 6 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Rich Robinson of the Black Crowes, looking grim but relieved: "My band has sucked for nearly a decade... my brother is a total fucking cock.. and I got a call from Liam... Later."

Andy, Wednesday, 6 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ah, now that would be a happy dream there, Andy. If only.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 6 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

is anyone else carefully monitering the impending Backstreet breakup? it's going to make a great ep of Behind the Music someday, seriously.

al, Wednesday, 6 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Scott has decided to join a religious cult which will not allow him to record music or sing ever again.With this in mind,we have decided never to darken your ears with our downtuned sermonising EVER AGAIN.Yours in rock,the other two munts from Creed.

Damian, Wednesday, 6 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I kind of meant to bring this question up in the Tanya Donelly Thread a few days back. I always imagined that some of Last Splash was in response to Deal et al/ Donelly split. Esp. 'No Aloha' and 'I Just Wanna Get Along' Any thoughts, am I way off the mark??

Ron Hudson, Wednesday, 6 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

How about The Cure's "Bloodflowers" album as one very long, stilted band breakup announcement? Here's a funny article that explains it better than I could.

geeta, Thursday, 7 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)


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