Bad myspace promo pieces for bands/singers

Portugal. The Man are from Alaska, and it shows. Though the band tours with harder rock acts, Portugal. The Man crafts unique, artsy songs with a dreamy feel.

Is that like those epic Pavement songs that feature long guitar workouts? (Fillmore Jive, Fin)

"He's playing the role of guitar hero....ironically!"

What was the actual wording *of* the Arctic Monkeys thingamadoozer?

They apparently do describe themselves as "Trip-Hop" on their page, though.

Tons of bands these days are throwing punk, emo and hardcore into their mix, but The Wedding do it well, with attitude and energy.

Kennedy says he sounds like "Public Nuisance meets Justin Timberlake, TRex, Klaus Nomi, 50 Cent, The Clash, Jay-Z, Fats Domino, Gilly Leads, Yves Lelevier, Rex Aquarium." Yeah, really. Somehow it works.

you are right about the myspace editorial being a lame. but as they increasinlgy come under pressure from fox to make ad $$$ they will enevitably turn into somthing more like ymusic with pages that are safer vehicles for advertisers

maybe they can grab some of the napster editorial folks when that goes under?

Shiny Toy Guns embrace their influences -- in them, you'll hear bits of New Order, Depeche Mode and Blondie. But with their glossy electropop, they're capturing younger audiences at indie rock dance clubs.

Key useless word: 'but'

I rather fear.

Shame on the American media, and shame on the American public. You have shunned the gift of knowledge afforded to us by thousands of years of human progress, and have chosen rather the bliss of ignorance. The price could prove to be the freedom of the greatest democracy of all time.

did tom myspace write the juggalo gay-killer's "about me" blurb? i notice he's jake's only friend left.

American Eyes
Rock / Punk / Indie
Los Angeles, CA

American Eyes' wild antics have gotten them thrown out of their own shows, so they're perfect for the Taste of Chaos tour. Listen to songs off their new EP "Never Trust Anything That Bleeds" now, and check 'em out on the road!

It's been thirteen years since we first heard MxPx. With their new album "Panic," they seized the opportunity to simultaneously sum up what they were all about and forge into the future with a second wind and a newfound maturity.

More a private one because having recently revisited Bremerton, my birthplace, I was reminded about how good it was that I did not in fact grow up there.

Unafraid and optimistic, The Daylights demand attention, whether they mean to or not, with their striking melodies and inspired songs. In just a year, they're winning fans everywhere with "The Shift and Blur EP."

Unafraid of *what,* exactly.

Ella Rouge's debut album gives us classic rock 'n roll elements of irresistible honky-tonk keyboards plus smoking guitar riffs crossed with intensity and many textures.

The more I read that, the more zen it becomes.

If you enjoy Devo and the Donnas, then you may like Zolof the Rock and Roll Destroyer.

Many top pop groups achieve their fame and stardom and then go out, quite deliberately, to encourage adults and parents to like them. This doesn't appeal to the forthright Stones. They will not make conscious effort to be liked by anybody at all--not even their present fans if it also meant changing their own way of life. The Stones have been Rebels With A Cause...the cause of rhytm'n'blues music.

Destroyer
Indie
Vancouver, Canada

Destroyer, aka Dan Bejar of the New Pornographers, gives us "Destroyer's Rubies," a collection of shrewd pop music that takes no prisoners and asks no pardons. New record out now!

"I'm not taking any prisoners, and and I'm not.. going to ask for any pardons either. I'll just stay in my cell"

Two Gallants bring us an infusion of bloody-knuckled punk energy to storytelling epics and tear-in-your-beer honky-tonk. They've crafted a surprisingly original sound out of their timeworn influences.

Bright Wipes?

http://myspace-361.vo.llnwd.net/00259/16/33/259123361_m.gif

There's no doubt that there are many hardcore bands on the scene today, but "a beautiful tragedy" is one you DON'T want to miss out on. With an epic sound that's blended together into melodic hooks and hardcore breakdowns, it's no wonder that this band is getting very far, very quickly. From the crunching guitar to the heart-felt screaming, it will take you to a whole other world of "music."

Metric cite Sonic Youth and Pink Floyd as important influences, but they swirl some delicious new wave flavor into their indie rock. Their latest record "Live It Out" heralds the arrival of a new, more fearless Metric.

Never fear, Metric is here.

With melodies that would do Elliott Smith or Nirvana proud, Nine Black Alps prove that in a world of emo, screamo, post-this, and pop-that, there's still a place for a band that just plain rocks.

Yeah, THANKS.

KT Tunstall is a sparkling new songwriter with Chinese blood, a Scottish heart, great legwarmers and a cool name. Her new album "Eye to the Telescope" offers gripping lyrical bite and heartfelt melody.

...

Take Jimmy Eat World and stir in a little James Taylor, add a little Get Up Kids and top with a pinch of Phil Collins and out comes Brighten. They are rock and roll boys that you can take home to mom.

The Like
Rock / Pop / Indie
Los Angeles, CA

The Like transcend all the easy labels that one may be inclined to attach to them: all girl band, teenage band, LA band, etc. They simply write infectious, melodic songs, and possess an irresistible collective personality.

And you can tell, can't you:

http://lads.myspace.com/House/like_x88.jpg

Usher, with a Kelis flare vocally. Instrumentally, A watered down Alicia Keys (piano wise) with a touch of Andre 3000.

This guy's song 'PWNED' is....something else.

Bringing the misnomered Alanis into this again?! nabisco, I fear you've caught your "irony" penis in your fly zipper. And you will see from my earlier posts how I agree with you about "irony" and
"heroism" conflicting, hence the word "yet.

Making butterfingered distinctions between "rhetorical" and "dramtic" irony is a sign that you can't keep hold of what irony is.

And, fact is there are scenarios in Alanis's song that can be seen as ironic, some more so than others, and others that can't - drama or no drama.

Piano-rock quintet Dropping Daylight are getting ready to release their new album "Brace Yourself" with a U.S. tour before sweating their way through the Warped Tour this summer. Take a listen and join them at a show near you!

http://lads.myspace.com/House/droppingdaylight_x88.jpg

Sweat your way, dudes.

With her demos lighting critics in the UK abuzz, Lily Allen's been compared to Lady Sovereign by NME, but her breezy vocals, sunny beats and colorful personality are all her own.

What say you, UK critics -- are you lit abuzz? Myspace is really on the cutting edge of malapropism coinage. I googled "lighting * abuzz", "lit abuzz," etc. and found only a handful of other examples of this usage. Let's see if they can come up with something really original next time. May I suggest something along the lines of "musky power chords"?

Only 23 years old, Joy Williams has been on quite a journey since high school, recording two albums, touring worldwide with her spiritual, hooky pop rock, and somehow finding time to even get married.

SUCH the multitasker. And she's progressive too.

With their sophomore release "Black Magic Show" just in stores, Elefant offer us a riveting set of dynamic pop-rock, with a luscious, larger-than-life landscape in the songs thanks to their gorgeous production and arrangements.

http://lads.myspace.com/House/elefant_x88.jpg

They might have started out as a spoof act, created for a laugh by two British movie directors, but the popularity of MMER -- a cross between the Power Rangers and an emo group -- is no joke.
-------

why is there always an awkwardly placed "but" in these?

Band of Horses
Indie / Rock
Seattle, WA

Band of Horses' woodsy, dreamy songs ooze with amorphous tension, longing and hope. At times raggedly epic and delicately pensive, their album "Everything All the Time" is an album painted gorgeously in fragile highs and lows.

PEOPLE!!!

Neil Young's new protest album "Living With War," described by him as a record "about exchanging ideas," stirs controversy with songs as "Let's Impeach the President." Preview the full album now before it's on sale digitally on May 2nd.

The Like transcend all the easy labels that one may be inclined to attach to them: all girl band, teenage band, LA band, etc. They simply write infectious, melodic songs, and possess an irresistible collective personality.

-- Ned Raggett

The Like! I've seen a video of this band. The name says it all doesn't it? They might as well call themselves The Mildly or Kinda Sorta or even Clap Your Hands Say Maybe. All those names convey a little of the horror, but actually there's no topping The Like for limp-lettuce factor. I haven't checked to see if my band is on this thread yet, what a terrifying thought.

With their new album "Hello, Control," Brandtson's electronic programming and fresh attitude take them far beyond the typical indie rock band's usual antics. As they say, "Put on your dancing shoes, because we're about to bring it."

http://lads.myspace.com/House/brandtson_x88.jpg

Jesus H., what feebs.

Snow Patrol
Alternative
Ireland

Snow Patrol's new CD "Eyes Open," out May 9, is the work of a band who have scaled the heights, but somehow stuck to their core values: beautiful powerful songs underscored by some of the most poignant and telling lyrics in rock.

With their new album "Aaaagh" entering the Irish charts at No.2 Republic of Loose's infectious blend of funky beats, hip-hop and dirty soul is both floor filling and spine chilling. Radio hits include the download "Comeback Girl".

In Rock Kills Kid's debut album "Are You Nervous," due in stores on May 16, the band's emotional tension recalls some of the most angst-filled recordings of the late 70s and 80s by U2, The Cure, Joy Division and The Smiths.

UM, i'm not for sure if it's the same the smiths or u2 that i remember hearing before. but i didn't notice any "angst"-filling going on in those recordings.

http://lads.myspace.com/House/rockkillskid_x88.jpg

For a ska-inspired punk band, Less Than Jake have surprising longevity. Check out their new album "In With the Out Crowd," full of catchy tunes that you won't be able to get outta your head.

http://lads.myspace.com/House/lessthanjake_x88.jpg

Nice attempt at escaping your pasts, dudes.

Throw up your devil horns, Priestess is here. Out this week, their debut album "Hello Master" is a mighty contributor to the world of rock 'n' roll, with guitar riffage powerful enough to brand itself into brain tissue.

http://creative.myspace.com/cms/MySpaceMusic/US/priestess_x88.jpg

What incredible fools.

Regina Spektor's piano-based pop is tinged with punk spirit and disarming moxie. Her new album "Begin to Hope" is heartbreakingly beautiful, with honesty and frankness that's startling and comforting at the same time.

http://creative.myspace.com/cms/MySpaceMusic/US/reginaspektor_x88.jpg

I feel so moved.

Keane makes a beautiful return with the release of "Under the Iron Sea," An album that is sure not to let any Keane lovers down. Take a listen and let it permeate your brain. You'll be glad you did!

http://creative.myspace.com/cms/MySpaceMusic/keane_x88.jpg

Oh the white hot passion.

The Format
Pop / Indie / Rock
Peoria, AZ

The Format are a classic pop band (not to be confused with a boy band) who are pros at catchy, charming songs. Take a listen to tracks from their new album "Dog Problems" and catch 'em on the road.

The paranthetical of course being the key part.

CSS
Powerpop / Club / Rock
Brazil

CSS is equal parts rock mantra and throwback into something new, transcending boundaries of genre and geography. It careens full speed into dance territory, into the unknown and untouched, to emerge all hot and bothered with wild electro-rock.

Heavens is the new project from Matt Skiba of Alkaline Trio and Josiah Steinbrick. Hear their debut album, Patent Pending, exclusively on My Space before it hits stores on 9/12!

http://creative.myspace.com/cms/Splash/MySpace_Music/US/us_heavens.jpg

But will they kill you now?

I haven't noticed as many horrible ones of late. Maybe something trickled up.