Songs about guys turning down sex (or trying)

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These are the only two I can think of off the top of my head:

Leonard Cohen - Suzanne
Beatles - Norwegian Wood

― Mr. Silverback (Mr. Silverback), Sunday, 23 April 2006 06:06 (twenty years ago)

jermaine stewart "we don't have to take our clothes off"

― even cathy berberian's nose (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 23 April 2006 06:14 (twenty years ago)

Throbbing Gristle - Five Knuckle Shuffle

― Jack Battery-Pack (Jack Battery-Pack), Sunday, 23 April 2006 06:38 (twenty years ago)

nmh - 'song against sex'
"don't take those pills your boyfriend gave you, you're too beautiful to die"

― travis randy (travis randy), Sunday, 23 April 2006 06:39 (twenty years ago)

Robert Palmer, "I Didn't Mean To Turn You On"

― brittle-lemon (brittle-lemon), Sunday, 23 April 2006 08:40 (twenty years ago)

Tired Of Sex by R. Cuomo is way too obvious so...

― Swordfishtrombones, Sunday, 23 April 2006 08:44 (twenty years ago)

artful dodger ft lifford - please don't turn me on

― The Lex (The Lex), Sunday, 23 April 2006 08:53 (twenty years ago)

Prince, "I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man"

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Sunday, 23 April 2006 09:03 (twenty years ago)

Alternative TV - Love Lies Limp

― Dr Benway (dr benway), Sunday, 23 April 2006 09:05 (twenty years ago)

English Beat "Save it for Later"

― Eric Harvey (eric marathonpacks), Sunday, 23 April 2006 09:34 (twenty years ago)

Some possible examples, only some of which are sung by dudes:

C90 - Songs about wanting to leave the shagging part of a relationship until later

― Lotta Continua (Damian), Sunday, 23 April 2006 12:02 (twenty years ago)

the offspring - session, self esteem

― TAO (daggerlee), Sunday, 23 April 2006 14:31 (twenty years ago)

dead kennedys "too drunk to fuck"

― fact checking cuz (fcc), Sunday, 23 April 2006 14:37 (twenty years ago)

I'm Not In Love--Talking Heads

― kornrulez6969 (TCBeing), Sunday, 23 April 2006 14:41 (twenty years ago)

Pete Townshend - "Slit Skirts"

once she woke with untamed lover's
face between her legs
now he's cooled and stifled
and it's she who has to beg

― Mark (MarkR), Sunday, 23 April 2006 14:43 (twenty years ago)

the Smiths, "Pretty Girls Make Graves"

― Lotta Continua (Damian), Sunday, 23 April 2006 14:54 (twenty years ago)

Ice T -- "The Girl Tried to Kill Me"

― antexit (antexit), Sunday, 23 April 2006 14:55 (twenty years ago)

Hall and Oates- Family Man

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Sunday, 23 April 2006 14:59 (twenty years ago)

Michael Jackson "Dirty Diana" (trying)

― Zwan (miccio), Sunday, 23 April 2006 15:02 (twenty years ago)

James Ingram, "I Don't Have the Heart"

Chairmen of the Board, "Give Me Just a Little More Time"

Terence Trent D'Arby, "Billy Don't Fall (In Love With Me)"

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Sunday, 23 April 2006 15:50 (twenty years ago)

nwa - fat girl

― -+-++-+-++, Sunday, 23 April 2006 15:54 (twenty years ago)

Marcus Miller - "My Best Friend's Girlfriend"

― Gigabyte Picnic, Sunday, 23 April 2006 20:15 (twenty years ago)

the new cars have one of these, with todd rundgren singing "not tonight." seeing how they have ungracefully aged, they really shouldn't be turning down anything.

― imbidimts, Sunday, 23 April 2006 20:28 (twenty years ago)

Big Star, "Back Of a Car"

― Brian G, Sunday, 23 April 2006 20:58 (twenty years ago)

seeing how they have ungracefully aged, they really shouldn't be turning down anything.

but isn't ric "skeletor" ocasek still getting paulina's punani?!?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 23 April 2006 21:01 (twenty years ago)

ric's not in the band anymore! not the touring band, anyway.

― even cathy berberian's nose (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 23 April 2006 21:20 (twenty years ago)

Beatles - Norwegian Wood

The hell? This is a song about a guy trying to have sex and getting turned down.

― Doctor Casino (Doctor Casino), Sunday, 23 April 2006 22:24 (twenty years ago)

OTM.

"Pretty Girls Make Graves" probably works, doesn't it?

― Sundar (sundar), Sunday, 23 April 2006 22:35 (twenty years ago)

Mindless Drug Hoover - Sorry About The Shag (But I Changed My Mind)

― dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 23 April 2006 22:57 (twenty years ago)

Abba - Does Your Mother Know?

― Michael F Gill (Michael F Gill), Sunday, 23 April 2006 23:07 (twenty years ago)

EPMD - Who's Booty

― o. nate (onate), Sunday, 23 April 2006 23:34 (twenty years ago)

Black Sheep "Strobelite Honey"

(granted, it's only because they found what the ladies looked like outside the strobelite.)

― DOQQUN (donut), Monday, 24 April 2006 00:53 (twenty years ago)

The Police - Don't Stand So Close To Me

― OBVS (blunt), Monday, 24 April 2006 01:14 (twenty years ago)

minor threat, "straight edge"

― Mike McG, Monday, 24 April 2006 01:32 (twenty years ago)

Beatles - Norwegian Wood

The hell? This is a song about a guy trying to have sex and getting turned down.

-- Doctor Casino (agode...), April 23rd, 2006.

"We talked until two and then she said, it’s time for bed.
She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh.
I told her I didn’t and crawled off to sleep in the bath."

? sleeping in the bath instead of in her bed is a funny way to try and seduce her...

― Mr. Silverback (Mr. Silverback), Monday, 24 April 2006 01:52 (twenty years ago)

Giovanni Salah, "Void the Temptation"...

― Douglas (Douglas), Monday, 24 April 2006 02:53 (twenty years ago)

McCartney was apparently the inspiration for the singer's revenge on his partner in the end of the song. As he [Lennon] explained: "Peter Asher, brother of McCartney's then-girlfriend, Jane Asher had just done his room out in wood, and a lot of people were decorating their places in wood. Norwegian wood. It was pine, really, just cheap pine. But it's not as good a title, is it, 'Cheap Pine'? It was a little parody, really, on those kind of girls who, when you'd get back to their flat, there would be a lot of Norwegian wood. It was completely imaginary from my point of view, but not from John's. It was based on an affair he had. She made him sleep in the bath and then, finally, in the last verse, I had this idea to set the Norwegian wood on fire as a revenge. She led him on and said, 'You'd better sleep in the bath.' And in our world, that meant the guy having some sort of revenge, so it meant burning the place down ..."

― Sundar (sundar), Monday, 24 April 2006 03:30 (twenty years ago)

Oh wait, that was McCartney's explanation not Lennon's.

― Sundar (sundar), Monday, 24 April 2006 03:31 (twenty years ago)

Slick Rick/ S. Doggy Dogg - Lodi Dodi

― O-Keigh (O-Keigh), Monday, 24 April 2006 04:03 (twenty years ago)

Mudhoney, "You Got It (Keep It Outta My Face)"

And hey, howbout one from the female perspective; namely, Toni Basil's "Mickey"

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Monday, 24 April 2006 04:45 (twenty years ago)

"We talked until two and then she said, it’s time for bed.
She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh.
I told her I didn’t and crawled off to sleep in the bath."

I always figured Lennon was letting the listener work out the unspoken information in the conversation - the guy's making a pass, his hopes are really up after the girl says "It's time for bed..." but then the girl changes the subject to, well, I guess I've got to work in the morning and just sort of laughs in his face. Sensing his defeat the guy makes no further efforts to get into her room and accepts her horrid proposal that he sleep in the bathtub. (Incidentally - I have never understood sleeping in bathtubs when there is normal floor available. Can anyone shed some light on this?) To me this narrative fits with the similar "guy's gonna score with girl - ohnowait!" punchline song that McCartney was cooking up at the same time - "Drive My Car." John is much more actively trying to follow Dylan's lead (and cover up the actual affair on which the song was based) so he's exceedingly vague about it.

OTOH, your interpretation is arguably even more interesting, and sort of fits in John's general lineage of jealous, macho, anti-girl songs running from "You Can't Do That" through "Sexy Sadie" - here he scripts himself a mod ladyfriend who opens her bedroom to him, only to be spurned coldly by the man who would rather sleep in a bathtub than get it on with this chick. Fascinating - but I'm not convinced it's what John was actually going for, and I'm pretty sure interviews, etc., would back that up.

― Doctor Casino (Doctor Casino), Monday, 24 April 2006 04:57 (twenty years ago)

I always thought the girl was a prostitute and was kicking Lennon out because she had other clients. Then again that might be my head working overtime.

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 24 April 2006 06:09 (twenty years ago)

Am I the only one who believes that actual intercourse actually took place (during the sitar break) in that song? What else is "she once had me" supposed to mean? And why would he have to CRAWL unless he was weakened from a few rounds of heavy passion?

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Monday, 24 April 2006 06:32 (twenty years ago)

yeh, def.

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 24 April 2006 06:36 (twenty years ago)

nwa 'dopeman'
mc ren 'you wanna fuck her'

― dave q (listerine), Monday, 24 April 2006 07:19 (twenty years ago)

What else is "she once had me" supposed to mean?

I hear it in the sense of "being had" or conned.

― Lotta Continua (Damian), Monday, 24 April 2006 09:56 (twenty years ago)

Ry Cooder covered someone's song called "Go On Home, Girl". (I can't remember either the exact title or the songwriter, but it was about what this thread is about.)

Grateful Dead, "Scarlet Begonias"

Jackson Five, "Stop! The Love You Save May Be Your Own"

Smokey Robinson, "I Second That Emotion" (well, conditionally turning down sex)

There must be hundreds of country songs (none of which I can quite remember just now) in which the male singer turns down some barroom angel because he suddenly remembers his wife/child back home. And an equal number in which the female singer makes clear that she was willing to do ANYTHING to get your love, but nothin' doin'.

― Vornado, Monday, 24 April 2006 12:27 (twenty years ago)

See Lurleen and Uncle Homer

― Uncle Tom (Uncle Tom), Monday, 24 April 2006 12:38 (twenty years ago)

TURN THAT SEX DOWN!!!

(We're trying to sleep down here...)

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 24 April 2006 12:49 (twenty years ago)

"I sat on her rug, biding my time, drinking her wine" is definitely a metaphor for cunnilingus. and Lotta Continua is right about "being had".

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 24 April 2006 13:04 (twenty years ago)

What about the "She told me to sit anywhere / I noticed there wasn't a chair" (i.e. face?)

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 24 April 2006 13:10 (twenty years ago)

yeh, that would make sense.

did she get off and then turn around and say "night love, i'm knack" so John went to finish himself off in the bathroom?

― dog latin (dog latin), Monday, 24 April 2006 13:18 (twenty years ago)

"round the back" woud rhyme.

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 24 April 2006 13:19 (twenty years ago)

Mighty Mighty: Law (rejection on grounds that she's too young)

― koogs (koogs), Monday, 24 April 2006 13:39 (twenty years ago)

"I sat on her rug, biding my time, drinking her wine" is definitely a metaphor for cunnilingus.

Of course it isn't "definitely".

"Trying Too Hard" by Day One. At the end, when he's succesful, he turns the tables on the girl who had previously been rebuffing him.

― David Orton (scarlet), Monday, 24 April 2006 14:55 (twenty years ago)

Gary Puckett and the Union Gap, "Young Girl," though he's only turning it down for legal reasons

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Monday, 24 April 2006 15:48 (twenty years ago)

Am I the only one who believes that actual intercourse actually took place (during the sitar break) in that song?

Same here - I just figured Lennon yada-yadaed over the best part, to use a later pop culture reference.

And until it was explained to me otherwise, I always figured the fire was confined to the fireplace.

― mike a, Monday, 24 April 2006 15:52 (twenty years ago)

(damn, someone already mentioned "Dopeman")

― mike a, Monday, 24 April 2006 15:52 (twenty years ago)

n.w.a. - "nobody move"

(kinda)

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 24 April 2006 16:41 (twenty years ago)

"i pulled her panties down and the bitch had a dick!"

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 24 April 2006 16:42 (twenty years ago)

"i pulled her panties down and the bitch had a dick!"

For a second I thought this was being proposed as a "lyric that should have been" for "Norwegian Wood." THAT would solve all this ambiguity once and for all.

She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh
So I pulled her panties down and noticed the bitch had a dick

― Doctor Casino (Doctor Casino), Monday, 24 April 2006 17:51 (twenty years ago)

oh man, that might be a contender with "sonned by a wite kid" for most unexpected/slap-in-the-face-funny line on ILM. John Lennon as Too Short's ghostwriter.

― mike a, Monday, 24 April 2006 22:19 (twenty years ago)

eazy-e: "man, i wouldn't touch that bitch!"
ice cube: "me neither! ho, go home and wash out your beaver!"

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Monday, 24 April 2006 23:20 (twenty years ago)

Hall and Oates- Family Man

Oi, that should read Mike Oldfield - Family Man. It suits him better too.

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 00:48 (twenty years ago)

DJ Assault - "Ass N Titties"

Stankin'-ass bitches that need to wash up,
don't get mad when I don't wanna fuck,
you need soap + water. soap + water.
soap + water. soap + water.
(x2)
water, water, water, water (x4)

― that's so taylrr (ken taylrr), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 01:11 (twenty years ago)

the last verse of "Wild Thing"

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 02:34 (twenty years ago)

. . . by Tone Loc

― Matos-Webster Dictionary (M Matos), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 02:34 (twenty years ago)

long fin killie, 'the lamberton lamplighter'

'i've had some girls come up to me and say
it won't take that long
just a quick one up the back
one for the lads
and i'm at pains to explain
i'm not that type of guy
and send the slack jawed bitches on their way'

― derrick (derrick), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 03:12 (twenty years ago)

Doc Casino-

Yeah I see how the interviews support your interpretation and it makes sense. Although I always interpreted "she once had me" to mean he was stuck in her room trying to get out haha. I always figured the part about not having a chair meaning that she wanted him to sit on the bed so she could seduce him...

xpost

― Mr. Silverback (Mr. Silverback), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 04:30 (twenty years ago)

long fin killie, 'the lamberton lamplighter'

oh, you could fill this thread w/ long fin killie songs come to think of it!

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 04:44 (twenty years ago)

yeah, i picked the most obvious!

― derrick (derrick), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 06:47 (twenty years ago)

Jake Thackray - The Lodger has to be included in this list

― Andrew Beck (klik99), Thursday, 27 April 2006 00:14 (twenty years ago)

"Go Away Little Girl," Steve Lawrence (1963) and Donny Osmond (1971)

― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 27 April 2006 12:32 (twenty years ago)

"Lola"?

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Thursday, 27 April 2006 12:54 (twenty years ago)

Jake Thackray - The Lodger has to be included in this list

Is that all the title?

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 27 April 2006 12:56 (twenty years ago)

"Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now"...("what she asked of me, at the end of the day, Caligula would have blushed"...and of course Moz naturally fled)

― hank (hank s), Thursday, 27 April 2006 12:59 (twenty years ago)

Jackson Five, "Stop! The Love You Save May Be Your Own"

The love 13 year-old Michael Jackson asked his girlfriend to save may well have consisted of only holding hands and maybe kissing though.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Thursday, 27 April 2006 13:04 (twenty years ago)

1. The Jackson 5 was sort of a joke.

2. "The love 13 year-old Michael Jackson asked his girlfriend to save may well have consisted of only holding hands and maybe kissing though." Yeah, right. Just like in "I Wanna Hold Your Hand".

(Don't you know that sexual intercourse was INVENTED in 1963, between the end of the Chatterly ban and The Beatles' first LP? The kids of Michael's day, myself included, certainly know what "going too far" meant.)

― Vornado, Thursday, 27 April 2006 17:16 (twenty years ago)

Modern Lovers, "Someone I Care About."

― mike a, Monday, 1 May 2006 17:19 (twenty years ago)

Archie Bell & The Drells-"Girl You're Too Young"

― Chairman Doinel (Charles McCain), Monday, 1 May 2006 17:29 (twenty years ago)

I never wanted to be your weekend lover
I only wanted to be some kind of friend
I could never steal you from another
It's such a shame our friendship had to end

― Tracey Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 1 May 2006 17:32 (twenty years ago)

About half the latest Prince album.

― Rick Massimo (Rick Massimo), Monday, 1 May 2006 17:32 (twenty years ago)

The Bonniwell Music Machine - Affirmative No

― Tim Ellison (Tim Ellison), Monday, 1 May 2006 17:34 (twenty years ago)

"I'm Happy Just To Dance With You"

― mike a, Monday, 1 May 2006 18:17 (twenty years ago)

I guess they knew (Michael himself has certainly made sure that the kids he knows these days do ;) ), but the song was written by a bunch of grownup Motown songwriters, who most certainly didn't write about sex when a 13 year-old was supposed to perform the song.

― Geir Hongro (GeirHong), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 00:25 (twenty years ago)

"About half the latest Prince album."
haha

you know that story about prince hiring 3-5 hookers and bringing them up to his hotel room so he could preach to them about how what they are doing are wrong. It may be a rumor but I would convert and become a Jehovah's witness if it's not.

― andrew b (klik99), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 03:39 (twenty years ago)

Jermaine Stewart - "We Dont Have To Take Our Clothes Off"

― that's so taylrr (ken taylrr), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 03:53 (twenty years ago)

three months pass...

pearl jam - animal
bob dylan - it ain't me, babe

― Charlie Howard (the sphinx), Thursday, 17 August 2006 14:04 (nineteen years ago)

Associates -- "Not Tonight, Josephine"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 17 August 2006 14:34 (nineteen years ago)

Maybe "Sacred Love" by Bad Brains? "Don't lust off my body baby/That's a bore"

― todd (todd), Thursday, 17 August 2006 17:19 (nineteen years ago)

joe jackson, "it's different for girls"

― xhuxk (xheddy), Thursday, 17 August 2006 18:08 (nineteen years ago)

"raised on robbery," joni mitchell

― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Thursday, 17 August 2006 18:52 (nineteen years ago)

mentors - "herpes 2"

― dan (dan), Thursday, 17 August 2006 18:53 (nineteen years ago)

MC Hammer - U Can't Touch This

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Thursday, 17 August 2006 18:57 (nineteen years ago)

She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh
So I pulled her panties down and noticed the bitch had a dick

I think I have a bootleg with this version on it.

― musically (musically), Thursday, 17 August 2006 19:00 (nineteen years ago)

new york dolls - frenchette

― xave (xave), Friday, 18 August 2006 00:11 (nineteen years ago)

pussy galore = "cunt tease"

― xhuxk (xheddy), Friday, 18 August 2006 00:48 (nineteen years ago)

judas priest 'private property'
paul stanley 'wouldn't you like to know me'

― dave q (listerine), Friday, 18 August 2006 10:16 (nineteen years ago)

Kid Creole and the Coconuts - Mr. Softee

― Dr Benway (dr benway), Friday, 18 August 2006 14:07 (nineteen years ago)

the spencer davis group's "I'm a man" sounds like it's all horny but it actually has some pretty hilarious hippy He-Man Woman-Haters Club lyrics...

Well my pad is very messy
And there's whiskers on my chin
And I'm all hung up on music
And I always play to win
I ain't got no time for lovin'
Cause my time is all used up
Just to sit around creatin'
All that groovy kind of stuff.
I'm a man
Yes I am
And I can't help
But love you so
I'm a man
Yes I am
And I can't help
But love you so.

Well if I had my choice of matter
I would rather be with cats
All engrossed in mental chatter
Moving where our minds are at
And relating to each other
Just how strong our wills can be
I'm resisting all involvement
With each groovy chick we see

Well I'm a man
Yes I am
And I can't help
But love you so
I'm a man
Yes I am
And I can't help
But love you so.

I got to keep my image
While suspended from a throne
That looks out upon a kingdom
Full of people all unknown
Who imagine I'm not human
And my heart is made of stone
I never had no problems
And my toilet's trimmed with chrome

I'm a man
Yes I am
And I can't help
But love you so.
I'm a man
Yes I am
And I can't help
But love you so.

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Friday, 18 August 2006 14:14 (nineteen years ago)

back off, ladies, his toilet's trimmed with chrome.

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Friday, 18 August 2006 14:16 (nineteen years ago)

before the 90's, when porn taught us that Ladies were GAGGING FOR IT up the chutney chimney, both Hall and Oates and Meatloaf laid out some anti-anal prudery:

Meatloaf - I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)
Hall And Oates - No Can Do

― beeble (beeble), Friday, 18 August 2006 14:19 (nineteen years ago)

Kid Creole and the Coconuts - Mr. Softee

If this counts, then Freda Payne's "Band of Gold" and Elastica's "Stutter" should as well. For that matter, come to think of it, so should "Mickey" by Tony Basil, I guess (oops, just noticed somebody already nominated that one. Whatever, it definitely fits.)

― xhuxk (xheddy), Friday, 18 August 2006 16:51 (nineteen years ago)

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