Corny Music Jokes thread

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I'll start this off :-

How so you make a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in the microwave until its bill withers

― winter testing (winter testing), Friday, 28 July 2006 14:04 (twenty years ago)

Yo mama so dumb she thinks Pere Ubu is a person!

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ The Unstoppable Troll Machine (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Friday, 28 July 2006 14:08 (twenty years ago)

Q: There is a frog driving east and a trombonist walking west. What can be surmised from this?
A: The frog's probably on its way to a gig.

― Jim M (jmcgaw), Friday, 28 July 2006 14:17 (twenty years ago)

http://ilx.p3r.net/searchresults.php?board=2&mode=threads&q=&titlepart=&name=Mark+Grout&email=&username=&dateafter=&datebefore=&catid=all

― Enrique (Enrique), Friday, 28 July 2006 14:20 (twenty years ago)

I think we found a winner, folks!

― ESTEBAN BUTTEZ The Unstoppable Troll Machine (ESTEBAN BUTTEZ~!!!), Friday, 28 July 2006 14:32 (twenty years ago)

It's the way he posts 'em

― Sploshette Moxy (Dada), Friday, 28 July 2006 14:35 (twenty years ago)

Jimmy Cricket, what's on your iPod?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Friday, 28 July 2006 14:38 (twenty years ago)

How do you call the guys that always hang out with the musicians? Drummers.

What's the sound of a drummer and a bass player landing on the ground after jumping off a house? Tha-dump.

― Herr Fahrstuhl (Herr Fahrstuhl), Friday, 28 July 2006 18:56 (twenty years ago)

okay..here is my ham-handed delivery of a tasteless and timeless classic:

Q: What do Yoko Ono and Ethiopians have in common?
A: They both survive off dead beatles.

― J. Grizzle (trainsmoke), Friday, 28 July 2006 20:51 (twenty years ago)

so not cool.

― oh, wrinklepaws! (Wrinklepaws), Friday, 28 July 2006 20:55 (twenty years ago)

so not cool.
-- oh, wrinklepaws! (wrinklepaw...), July 28th, 2006.

but you cracked a smile, by damn

― J. Grizzle (trainsmoke), Friday, 28 July 2006 20:56 (twenty years ago)

oh, grizzlepaws.

― scnnr drkly (scnnr drkly), Friday, 28 July 2006 21:01 (twenty years ago)

How do you make a guitar player stop playing?
Put sheet music in front of him.

How do you get two oboes to play in tune?
Shoot one of them.

― Steve Go1dberg (Steve Schneeberg), Friday, 28 July 2006 21:54 (twenty years ago)

ROFL @ Steve Goldberg's

― oh, wrinklepaws! (Wrinklepaws), Friday, 28 July 2006 21:59 (twenty years ago)

How does the crew know the stage is level?

The drool is dripping from both corners of the drummer's mouth.

― nickn (nickn), Friday, 28 July 2006 22:28 (twenty years ago)

What is the range of a tuba?

About 7 yards if you throw it hard.

― Keith White (tkeithwhite), Friday, 28 July 2006 23:01 (twenty years ago)

I knew a girl who always used to crack: 'Hold me, I'm a fermata' at truly awkward moments. She plays cello somewhere now.

― trees (treesessplode), Saturday, 29 July 2006 01:30 (twenty years ago)

Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in the car?
Took 2 hours to get the bassist out.

― clotpoll (Clotpoll), Saturday, 29 July 2006 01:48 (twenty years ago)

There are only two things in the world that sound worse than a set of bagpipes:

Two sets of bagpipes.

― Joseph McCombs (Joseph McCombs), Saturday, 29 July 2006 03:52 (twenty years ago)

http://img142.imageshack.us/img142/5238/file0339xj9.jpg

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Saturday, 29 July 2006 04:03 (twenty years ago)

I try to turn every thread into Corny Music Jokes Thread!

― Cunga (Cunga), Saturday, 29 July 2006 04:26 (twenty years ago)

who stuck that image over the thread?

― Savin All My Love 4 u (Savin 4ll my (heart) 4u), Monday, 31 July 2006 23:38 (twenty years ago)

wait, where's buck owens and minnie pearl in that pic?

― kingfish cyclopean ice cream (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 06:03 (twenty years ago)

I try to turn every thread into Corny Music Jokes Thread!

-- Cunga (visionsofjohann...), July 29th, 2006.

*high five*

― de latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 06:11 (twenty years ago)

Buck's got a beard; there's a blonde with her hands on his shoulders. I don't see Minnie.

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Tuesday, 1 August 2006 23:00 (twenty years ago)

six years pass...

So, this guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I just heard a great 'drummer' joke, want to hear it?"
The bartender raises his hand and says "Hold it a minute, pal. You see that big guy, the bouncer, over there? Well, HE'S a drummer; and that guy sitting surrounded by foxy women, HE'S a drummer. And I am a drummer as well. Are you sure you still want to tell the joke?"
The guy replies "Not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times".

― besides Sunny Real Estate (dog latin), Wednesday, 12 December 2012 11:52 (thirteen years ago)

Just made this one up:

Q: Why was Skrillex's baby taken into custody?

A: He couldn't stop dropping it.

― Tuomas, Wednesday, 12 December 2012 13:03 (thirteen years ago)

Jonathan Davis's career.

― MarkoP, Wednesday, 12 December 2012 15:56 (thirteen years ago)

what's the best use for a banjo?

kindling for an accordian fire....

― m0stlyClean, Wednesday, 12 December 2012 17:38 (thirteen years ago)

how can you tell a drummer is knocking at your door?

he rushes

― D-40, Wednesday, 12 December 2012 18:20 (thirteen years ago)

where's dan perry i bet he has a gang of these

― D-40, Wednesday, 12 December 2012 18:20 (thirteen years ago)

how can you tell a trombone player's kid is on the playground?

he can't swing and doesn't know how to use the slide

― D-40, Wednesday, 12 December 2012 18:21 (thirteen years ago)

man - the bartender and one of the bouncers at a place I used to work are drummers - can't wait to tell them dog latin's joke! actually, the set-up is probably pretty easy to find in reality (minus the drummer surrounded by foxy ladies)

― brio, Wednesday, 12 December 2012 18:27 (thirteen years ago)

What did Bjork have for lunch?

Pjorkchops

― SongOfSam, Wednesday, 12 December 2012 21:47 (thirteen years ago)

one year passes...

I just got a job as a triangle player in a reggae band.....

.....I just stand at the back an' t'ing

― Fine Toothcomb (sonofstan), Wednesday, 12 November 2014 16:01 (eleven years ago)

six years pass...

What was the name of that one popular Nada Surf song??

really proud of this one

― cerebral halsey (rip van wanko), Thursday, 6 May 2021 21:22 (five years ago)

q - why did bob dylan go electric
a - he ran out of gas

― unknown or illegal user (doo rag), Saturday, 8 May 2021 11:03 (five years ago)

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