Submitted today, names have been changed to protect the not so innocent.
"Dear Mr. XXXX,
After graduating W@shington Squ@re College in 1973 with BA degree in journalism, news broadcasting and public relations, I eventually founded a professional writing service called Freel@nce Writing located in Massapequa, Long Island. Predominantly, we are CD reviewers and some years ago we became aware of XXXX through airplay on the Loft, an XM station.
As owner, I am significanctly interested in writing a review of XXXX's show in October at your establishment. There would be no cost or obligation related to my proposal to anyone although I fully realize that there could be some objection to me actually coming to J0e's Pub to do this, an issue that at this time due to the lack of entanglement that I have offered I cannot perceive.
In answer to your ultimate wonderment, I want to devote my time and expense to accomplish this proposition because I truly believe that XXXX is unequivocally one of the finest songwriters and delightful acoustical (sic) performers I have ever come across in my 56 years of music appreciation. The kicker to me is wheteher Steve actually desires exposure, something that is none of my business and in spite of the attached internet review" [he has attached a printout of an Amazon user review of artist's album] "that I wrote some time ago and because almost no one takes any time out to push the buttons to indicate a review of my review, you can assume that thousands have read it and gone on to other web surfing.
Should you be interested in inviting me to the show to review it and seek publication through our sources please contact me at your earliest convenience. The policy of my company is strict; only positive comments will be issued or nothing will be generated if this is not feasible. I would also be more than willing to add some content about J0e's Pub, which as I just explained would necessarily have to be complimentary.
Sincerely, XXXXX"
― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Friday, 25 August 2006 18:39 (nineteen years ago)
Followed later today by this from another party:
"Dear XXX,
I would greatly appreciate press passes (for one or two) for XXXX and XXXX on Sept. 12 and Oct. 14th. I am a contributing editor for XXXX and a friend of members of each band, and I just am not paid enough by XXXX to go to hear my friends. I have paid to see programs at the Public, of course, and I even have written a sonnet titled "Fourteen Lines from the Public Theater." It's a poem for Jul1us Hemph1ll written after a performance he did here once. Would you like to see the poem? I'm performing it at W00dstock on August 28th with one of the members of XXXX. Thanks if you can hold the tickets for me!"
― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Friday, 25 August 2006 18:43 (nineteen years ago)
get one suicidegirls.com, pappa.
― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Friday, 25 August 2006 18:58 (nineteen years ago)
"in answer to your ultimate wonderment"Yeah, that's my line of choice too.
― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 26 August 2006 04:56 (nineteen years ago)
Heh. These look like attempts to get around spam filters. They didn't offer C14L1S at the end, did they?
(I try to keep my request letters as brief as possible, knowing that the more I say the less likely I am to get approved)
― js (honestengine), Saturday, 26 August 2006 13:35 (nineteen years ago)