good jokes/burns to crack at co-workers who won't stop singing to finally convince them to stop singing

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because simply "Stop singing!!" doesn't work and "You sound like a dying cat." doesn't work. Any suggestions?

― lukeeluke (soulex45), Monday, 11 September 2006 19:18 (twenty years ago)

"you sound like a dying Liam Gallagher"

― J. Grizzle (trainsmoke), Monday, 11 September 2006 19:30 (twenty years ago)

bark and howl at them

― Alicia Titsovich (sexyDancer), Monday, 11 September 2006 19:32 (twenty years ago)

Sing along with them, in a Marilyn Manson and/or Tiny Tim voice.

― Marmot (marmotwolof), Monday, 11 September 2006 19:33 (twenty years ago)

(What are they singing?)

― Marmot (marmotwolof), Monday, 11 September 2006 19:33 (twenty years ago)

Two words: air horn.

― James.Cobo (jamescobo), Monday, 11 September 2006 19:35 (twenty years ago)

shake a can full of coins at them...

― hank (hank s), Monday, 11 September 2006 19:37 (twenty years ago)

a friend of mine pioneered yelling "one more!" at bands after their first song.

― M@tt He1geson: Real Name, No Gimmicks (Matt Helgeson), Monday, 11 September 2006 19:40 (twenty years ago)

we used to play "stupid song" with co-workers like yours. when they offend, simply hum a catchy but stupidly insistent tune until they unwittingly take it up and it becomes an ear-worm for them. no, it doesn't solve the problem, but you have proven your co-workers to be mindless sheep (though you probably knew that).

i'll leave the specific songs to you, but in my day (80s & 90s) we used "radio friendly" crap like Delta Dawn, Ruby (don't take your love to town), and almost anything Billy Joelish for its sheer insidiousness.

― J Arthur Rank (Quin Tillian), Monday, 11 September 2006 19:41 (twenty years ago)

im a big fan of the old:

you: "Who sings that song?"

co-worker: "(insert band)"

you: "let's fucking keep it that way."

― Pop Ryan (Rebelwordsmith), Monday, 11 September 2006 19:45 (twenty years ago)

"Stop singing, faggot!"

― Eppy (Eppy), Monday, 11 September 2006 20:00 (twenty years ago)

(Alternately, stop being such a dick.)

― Eppy (Eppy), Monday, 11 September 2006 20:00 (twenty years ago)

harmonize

― 6335 (6335), Monday, 11 September 2006 21:05 (twenty years ago)

Whip out the "human beat-box".

― Shoes say, yeah, no hands clap your good bra. (goodbra), Tuesday, 12 September 2006 05:28 (twenty years ago)

accompany on melodica

― electric sound of jim [and why not] (electricsound), Tuesday, 12 September 2006 05:29 (twenty years ago)

There is this thing that's like touching except you don't touch
Back in the day it just went without saying at all
All the world's history gradually dying of shock
There is thing that's like talking except you don't talk
You sing
You sing

Sing for the bartender sing for the janitor sing
Sing for the cameras sing for the animals sing
Sing for the children shooting the children sing
Sing for the teachers who told you that you couldn't sing
Just sing

There is thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked
It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance
After the show you can not sing wherever you want
But for now lets just pretend that we're gonna get bombed
So sing

Sing cause its obvious sing for the astronauts sing
Sing for the president sing for the terrorists sing
Sing for the soccer team sing for the janjaweed sing
Sing for the kid with the phone who refuses to sing
Just sing

Life is no cabaret
We don't care what you say
We're inviting you anyway
You motherfuckers you'll sing someday...

― Marmot (marmotwolof), Tuesday, 12 September 2006 05:48 (twenty years ago)

Fart along in rhythm. Or if you can't fart on command, make farting noises with your hand in your armpit.

― Shoes say, yeah, no hands clap your good bra. (goodbra), Tuesday, 12 September 2006 05:48 (twenty years ago)

Christ, I sure hope none of my co-workers read this! I often find myself singing along (barely audibly) to whatever song JACK-FM is playing at any given moment (when they're playing what I want). It's my only method of self-entertainment while performing a particularly boring task. (Aside from posting on ILM, of course; but I can't do that when the boss is looking on. ;)

― Monty Von Byonga (Monty Von Byonga), Tuesday, 12 September 2006 07:01 (twenty years ago)

burns?

maybe a chinese burn would help

― Charlie Howard (the sphinx), Tuesday, 12 September 2006 13:57 (twenty years ago)

the choruses he won't stop singing are "i think you're craaaazay" and "you're beautiful, you're beautiful -iiinnnside" but anything that comes on the radio is a trigger. It's strangely been quiet today. I will use the dog howling noise when appropriate, that one's good.

― lukeeluke (soulex45), Tuesday, 12 September 2006 21:22 (twenty years ago)

Sing him some of the songs on the public showers thread. I Kill Everything I Fuck, etc.

― Marmot (marmotwolof), Tuesday, 12 September 2006 22:00 (twenty years ago)

Maybe go for the reverse psychology tactic.

"I really like your singing. It makes the song even better!"

― Zachary Scott (Zach S), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 00:54 (twenty years ago)

You have to start singing loudly and insanely badly. Then, look directly at them and say, "What? Is there a problem?" Then, just wait for them to start singing again and sing loudly and insanely again until they stop. Then, you stop. Whenever they start, you start. You only have to say, "What? Is there a problem?" the very first time when you startle them. After that, it's quite obvious what you're doing.

― Butt Dickus (Dick Butkus), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 01:12 (twenty years ago)

Unfotunately, you can't pull that shit with your boss, which is my situation. Whoever you do it to is going to hate you, obviously.

― Butt Dickus (Dick Butkus), Wednesday, 13 September 2006 01:13 (twenty years ago)

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