Awkward rhymes of convenience featuring women's names

The second one is just consise storytelling. She had a man before who got her name wrong, maybe even at a certain moment, if ya know what i mean: this man is different from that and all that that means.

And the first one is just beyond reproach ;)

I met this tender, her name was Lori
And a X-rated movie wouldn't tell her story
She had a twin sister, her name was Lisa
And just like Lori, she's a real dick pleaser
My girlfriend's name was Michelle,
her booty was bigger than a tale on a whale, I freaked her well
Her pussy got hotter than flames in hell

I had an old tender, her name was Janien
She was thirty-two and I was only eighteen

Bake and shake us, I met this freak in Vegas
She said her name was Donna
She was a built little freak from China

I met this girl, thick as hell
Only sixteen, said her name was Linell

She's like this tender named Belinda
Homeboys call her Belinda the Blender
She gave head like she made it up
She was twenty years old with a big round butt

x-post

The second one is just consise storytelling. She had a man before who got her name wrong, maybe even at a certain moment, if ya know what i mean: this man is different from that and all that that means.

One night not long ago
I fell for you
Too easy to let go
She was one from your past
One of the few
You said it didn't last

Now Romeo you know I can't believe
Your tongue would slip so easily
I know you think I oughta let it be
But get it right, next time
That's the end of me

Chorus:
My name is not Susan
So watch what you say
If you still need her
Then be on your way
Don't wanna hear about Susan
She's got nothin' on me
So show some respect for the love you receive
My name is not Susan
(No, no, no, no, no -- get it right)

Last night you were asleep
Deep in a dream
I heard you call her name
Then you turned to embrace
I froze in place
Never to be the same

Now Romeo you know I never knew
My heart would bust so easily
I know you think I oughta let it go
But get it right next time
Say good-bye to me boy

chorus

I never want to be the girly that you "call" one and only
You know the kind of girly that you would call when you get lonely
I never should have let you in,
A damn shame -- forgot my name!
Well, anyway

chorus

Don't want to hear about Susan
My name ain't Susan (X3)
Ya better get it right!

here is one: "meet me on the vast veranda / my sweet untouched miranda"

What's the song like? I pretty much hate Whitney Houston. x-post

"Rhymes of convenience" doesn't necessarily mean "non-sensical lyrics," y'know.

First thing to come to my mind.

Kiss my aura... Dora...
M-M-M... it's real angora
Would y'all like some more-a?
Right here on the flora?
an'how 'bout you, Fauna?
Y'wanna?

uh MC REN

("Reinforcements" : Sparks)

"You wanna jet, project with a simile
But i'm so large i boned your girl Emily"

'her name was nancy
her face was nothing fancy'

It just occurred to me, about a year later, that I forgot the worst offender I know:

I know a girl called Elsa
She's into Alka-Seltzer

from the first Aceyalone album:

I bet you think I'm silly, huh?
Annalilia

Murs and Humpty Hump - "Risky Business"

I'ma head upstairs and get focused on some ass
And if I start to scream, do your best to ignore me
If my parents come in, just tell them the Burger King story
Just keep 'em entertained until I finish gettin' brained
(Humpty: Hello Ms. Connor, he's gettin' drained)
And her name is Elaine

That annoys me so much. But it's overshadowed by how fucking amazing "If my parents come in, just tell them the Burger King story" is

Deborah was a Catholic girl
she held out till the bitter end
Carla was a different type
she's the one who put it in
Mary was a black girl
I was afraid of a girl like that
Suzen painted pictures
sitting down like a Buddha sat

Reno was a nameless girl
a geographic memory
Cathy was a Jesus freak
she liked that kind of misery
Vicki had a special way
of turning sex into a song
Kamala, who couldn't sing,
kept the beat and kept it strong

Zilla was an archetype
the voodoo queen, the queen of wrath
Joan thought men were second best
to masturbating in a bath
Sherry was a feminist
she really had that gift of gab
Kathleen's point of view was this
take whatever you can grab

Seattle was another girl
who left her mark upon the map
Karen liked to tie me up
and left me hanging by a strap
Jeannie had a nightclub walk
that made grown men feel underage
Mariella, who had a son,
said I must go, but finally stayed

Gloria, the last taboo
was shattered by her tongue one night
Mimi brought the taboo back
and held it up before the light
Marilyn, who knew no shame,
was never ever satisfied
Julie came and went so fast
she didn't even say goodbye

Rhonda had a house in Venice
lived on brown rice and cocaine
Patty had a house in Houston
shot cough syrup in her veins
Linda thought her life was empty
filled it up with alcohol
Katherine was much too pretty
she didn't do that shit at all

Pauline thought that love was simple
turn it on and turn it off
Jean-Marie was complicated
like some French filmmaker's plot
Gina was the perfect lady
always had her stockings straight
Jackie was a rich punk rocker
silver spoon and a paper plate

Sarah was a modern dancer
lean pristine transparency
Janet wrote bad poetry
in a crazy kind of urgency
Tanya Turkish liked to fuck
while wearing leather biker boots
Brenda's strange obsession
was for certain vegetables and fruit

Rowena was an artist's daughter
the deeper image shook her up
Dee Dee's mother left her father
took his money and his truck
Debbie Rae had no such problems
perfect Norman Rockwell home
Nina, 16, had a baby
left her parents, lived alone
Bobbi joined a New Wave band
changed her name to Bobbi Sox
Eloise, who played guitar,
sang songs about whales and cops
Terri didn't give a shit
was just a nihilist
Ronnie was much more my style
cause she wrote songs just like this
Jezebel went forty days
drinking nothing but Perrier
Dinah drove her Chevrolet
into the San Francisco Bay
Judy came from Ohio
she's a Scientologist
Amaranta, here's a kiss
I chose you to end this list.

T-Rex's Debra/Zebra (zeborah) line, anyone?

aaaaaaaaaaaaand I just realized in my sleep-deprived and quasicoherent state that none of those 44 women's names were actually rhymed in any of the 88 lines. But when's the last time you heard/thought about that song? isn't it good to reminisce?

T-Rex's Debra/Zebra (zeborah) line, anyone?

Already mentioned in 2006 by... you. :)

Mulva?

This one's only partially awkward. From the Kings' "This Beat Goes On":

Hey, little Donna,
You still wanna?
Said to ring you up when I was in Toronto

Only awkward outside Toronto itself, since many non-natives (Americans particularly) tend to mistakenly pronounce "Toronto" to rhyme with "Tonto". The correct pronunciation is "Teronna" = a perfect rhyme with "Donna".

T-Rex's Debra/Zebra (zeborah) line, anyone?

B-b-but don't Brits pronounce "zebra" with the short-e? That's how it's pronounced in King Crimson's "Cirkus", anyways. (And it wasn't rhymed with anything, either.)

Little Richard!

"Met a girl, called Lucinda
They call her the great pretender.."

etc.

"Whenever it rains I think of you
And I always remember that day in may
When I saw you walking in the rain
I know not what it was nor why
For ususally I'm quite shy
I ax'd your name, you smile and said "Loraine"
I ax'd if I could share your umbrella
You smiled and said "what a cheeky lickle fella"

Now I'm standin' in the rain in vain, Loraine
Hoping to see you again
Tears fall from me eyes like rain, Loraine
A terrible pain in me brain, Loraine
You're drivin' me insane
Loraine Loraine Loraine"

Linton Kwesi Johnson

T-Rex's Debra/Zebra (zeborah) line, anyone?

B-b-but don't Brits pronounce "zebra" with the short-e? That's how it's pronounced in King Crimson's "Cirkus", anyways. (And it wasn't rhymed with anything, either.)

xpost it really needed Rik Mayall to do that one!

Is your name Mary-anne....
or Kathy-lee
Wanna hold my hand....
Come get wit me

Why just women, eh?

Jimmy
Jimmy
Oh Jimmy Mack
When are you coming back?

Hey that should have been in the top 529 questions thread.

T-Rex's Debra/Zebra (zeborah) line, anyone?

B-b-but don't Brits pronounce "zebra" with the short-e? That's how it's pronounced in King Crimson's "Cirkus", anyways. (And it wasn't rhymed with anything, either.)

Yes, we do. Why is that a problem? Do you pronounce Debra DEEbra or something?

No, of course not! I'm saying that if they both have the short-e, then it's a perfectly valid rhyme, and not at all awkward.

Ah sorry I didn't get what you meant! Yeah I guess it's not awkward, although it is still a rhyme of convenience I think?

Yeah, I'd say so!

Ooh ooh, Iris
The girl with the lovely name
I feel desirous
I got that girl to blame