This is the thread where I repost comments from the Jackin' Pop poll...

May the God that doesn't exist bless Ornette Coleman. And Meat Loaf. And Scott Walker. And Scott Miller.

Top 10 Singles/Tracks of 2006

ARTIST
TRACK
LABEL
1.
Michael Rapaport
The Third Wigger
(TVT)

2.
Lee Iacocca
I Got Flow Like An Assembly Line
(Jive)

3.
Ed Asner
Get In My Office, Then Get On Your Knees
(Def Jam)

4.
Tom Berenger
The Lobster Rap
(Priority)

5.
Ricky Powell
No Respect For Those From Waaaaaaaaaay Back
(99 Records)

6.
Skag Winesack, Retired Cop, F.B.I. & P.I.
Knockers At Nine
(Warners)

7.
Bedroom E.T.A.
Girl, I Won't Get Under You Until You Get Over Him
(Matador Records)

8.
Morris The Cat
Meow To Your Mother
(Columbia)

9.
Andrew Dice Clean
Powerpoint
(American)

10.
Bathtub Shitter
Holy Shit
(Tumult)

So, what are we left with? I have a list of ten albums and ten singles. Simply put, these are the artists that I spent the most time with in the past year. These are the albums that didn't make me find the next button, these are the songs that had me hit repeat. This is about one band, that undoubtedly stood out amongst their rock and roll peers: The Black Angels. Now, before you say it. I know the argument that The Black Angels are a VU retread, and I want you to know, whoever told you that was only giving half the story. The Black Angels are The Velvet Underground vs The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. They were the loudest, purest, more mesmerizing band that I had the fortune to encounter this past year. The Black Angels are rock and roll for the rock and roll soul.

About Me:

I hate Chris Martin but I LOVE Martin Denny.

About my Top 5 Artists:

1. O-dub runs Soul-Sides.com, one of the best music blogs on the net. While most of the blogosphere was sucking off the Decemberists, Mr. Wang was biguppin' Afro-Fillipino boogaloo-star Joe Bataan and "Little Miss Dynamite", Sugarpie Desanto. This was the year of the whiney white boy, the year where being the sniveling little turd in eyeliner and women's pants paid off BIGTIME. O-dub had nothin' to do with any of that.

2. George Hunter sings for Catfish Haven. He's got soul. Lots and lots of soul. His band is one of the tighest, most compelling live acts of the year and they're some of the nicest guys you'll ever meet. He's one of the few artists I've seen in my day that can dissect the discography of Norman Whitfield with such rough-hewn elegance.

3. JT wins MAJOR points for trying to revive Stax Records. I know it seems a little blasphemous, but seriously, if anybody can do it with taste, style and a sense of history JT will be the one. It's better him than say, John Mayer. Plus, his new album RULES - all caps, no bullshit, I swear to god.

4. Nemesisboy is to Nashville what Gerard vs. Bear is to the rest of the web. Face it, every music scene needs some douchebag getting drunk and pointing out how lame the 'cool kids' are. It's a fact of life.

5. Don't be a DECK!

It's also true that relocating for a new job has shaken me out of the musical routine I enjoyed for so many years in Toronto. Music became more of a home-listening activity. I saw fewer live shows and went to fewer clubs. My MTV/Much Music-related channel flipping was gradually replaced by the regular practice of absorbing the rotating Winamp playlists in my new favourite bars. But the change is good. The new routine isn't better or worse, it's just different. Sometimes very different. For instance, I DJ'ed a party last week on the rooftop of an eight-story particle accelerator and had a room full of scientists dancing to all ten minutes of L'il Louis' house classic "French Kiss". Come on, let's see Richie Hawtin top that.

2006 was also the year I fell back in love with top 40 music due in large part to my 8 and 9 year old boys who, not having to prove their indie-rock cred to anyone, taught me to love great pop songs for what they are - great pop songs. I now find myself singing along with them to songs by Hinder and the All American Rejects and Beyonce and The Fray and Snow Patrol not because they represent great art, but because they're just fun songs. Their youthfulness cares not for pretense; they are unafraid to admit they The Wiggles and Wierd Al as much as they like Pavement and A Tribe Called Quest.

- For singles, which is always a pain, I just picked the ten songs that I have most frequently sung to my cat. This may sound like a joke, but really, the songs I tended to go cocnuts for this year tended to overcome their weaknesses—I don't know who Steve Nash is, but I'm sure he's a better rapper than Nelly Furtado—by being sticky as hell.

...

- I don't where we are in the indie-circle backlash-to-the-backlash-to-the-anti-backlash-backlash-to-the-frontlash on the Hold Steady, but I would take the breakdown chorus of "Massive Nights" over anything put out by Takka Takka or Oh No! Oh My! or whatever wistful invertebrates I'm supposed to care about this month.

"No matter how simple a man might be, the obvious cannot go on astounding him forever."
- Thomas Merton

[Ed: I'm pretty sure he used the same quote in a Spin year-end like twenty-years ago. God bless him.]

Still, my favorite record of 2006 was by second album by the cabaret-punk piano/drums duo who made my favorite record of 2003: the Dresden Dolls. Heard as a series of monomaniacal diary entries, their debut would have been the day-to-day thoughts of a hermaphroditic hooker who cuts herself, keeps an automated boyfriend on her shelf, and has a deep ongoing obsession with her most recent ex. I did not (and do not) interpret the record that way: Amanda Palmer inhabited her narrators with depth and intensity, but she was building a small universe of people, and for a song she sang _as if_ they were her, more intently than most of them would sing for themselves.

Five Albums Better Than 'Kingdom Come' That Have No Business Being Better Than Jay-Z’s Drunk On Rosé Voicemails to Beyoncé (in no particular order):
1. Jimmy Jones, 'Hustler’s P.O.M.E.'
2. Young Dro, 'Best Thang Smokin’'
3. Rick Ross, 'Port of Miami'
4. Pitbull, 'El Mariel'
5. Meatloaf, 'Bat Out of Hell III: The Monster Is Loose' *

* not really.

Did I get old and boring, or did the music? Or is it both of us? Oh, sweet Jesus, looking at these lists I can practically feel Death's cold hand on my shoulder. Slowly I turn, with equal parts horror, fear and relief, to face his grim visage. His bony index finger curls with a creak, letting me know that yes, it's time to go. I sigh deeply, jam my hands into my pockets, slump my eternal-teenager slump and trundle off behind him across the parking lot of destiny, sliding into the passenger's seat of his Chevy Impala. His spinning rims pick up velocity until at last we break free of this fetid dimension and soar into the infinite, ridin' dirty for eternity.

Biggest R&B influence of the year: Martin Gore. Did anyone else notice that the synth hooks on Cassie's "Me and You" and Akon's "I Wanna Love [/Fuck] You" sound like outtakes from Some Great Reward? Has Diddy started wearing black eyeliner?

...

Diva of the year: Natalie Maines. Let's just say I'll bet the other two Chicks didn't pick "Not Ready to Make Nice" as the first single. Mariah? Janet? Whitney? Amateurs.

...

Faceplant of the year: Jigga. There, I said it. Okay, I won't call it a comeback. Any other act with a record that sank 80% in week two would get dropped by the head of his label. Oh, wait...

Lastly, I had some trouble narrowing down #4-#10 on singles, so here is a matching game to reveal some other strong contenders:

1. "I've been up making babies like a chef making donuts and pastries"
2. "I might as well take a *** and put it to his head"
3. "I fo-ouuu--uh-ouuu-uh-uhhh-ouuEEE--ouhouuuuEEEEEEound you!"
4. "Shake it up."
5. "AY - EE - AY - EE - AY - FU - AY "
6. "Is You Happy?"
7. "Didn't think so"
8. "What's Going On?!"
9. "...tell you they your friend and then bad mouth [?]"
10. "Deli Aisle"
11. "You play forgiveness, watch him now, here he comes"
12. "This thing ain't been no walk in the park for us"
13. "Ask what I feel: notta"
14. "I've been hooked ever since"
15. "Well, this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne."
16. no lyrics, just howling
17. "Let me switch up the game"
18.

A.
B. Chris Brown
C. Clipse
D. Regina Spektor
E. The Killers
F. Gwen Stefani
G. Metronomy
H. Cornelius
K. Nelly Furtado
L. Rihanna
M. Christina Aguilera
N. T.I.
O. Kidz Bop Kids
P. Keyshia Cole
Q. Missy Elliott
S. Robyn
V. Panic! At the Disco
Z. The Blow

I was both pleased and perplexed by the bonus category Top 5 Artists. Since it had come after two Top 10 lists (and a reissue list) it almost felt like one of those fishy employment tests where they ask you the same question over and over again, but just slightly different each time to see if you’ll trip up and reveal the real you (Ok, Ok, I steal pens from work. I STEAL PENS FROM WORK).

Another really good year, despite everything that stunk about it (some of which even involves me and critics' polls and stuff). Someday I'll probably write about all that with the detail it deserves. But in the meantime, my next 200 favorite albums of 2006 that didn't make my top albums or reissues lists (except for the millions of albums I didn't manage to hear*, and reissued famous classics by people like Mott the Hoople and the Pogues and Public Image Ltd and Cheap Trick that never went away in the first place so they don't count even if a couple useless "bonus" tracks were inevitably added this time) pile up approximately as follows, with a margin of error of 30 places in either direction on any given day:

1. Bob Wills and his Texas Playboys – Legends Of Country Music (Columbia/Legacy reissue)
2. Little Feat – The Best Of (Warner Bros./Rhino reissue)
3. The Spunks - Yellow Fever Blues (Gearhead)
4. Dale Watson – Whiskey Or God (Palo Duro)
5. Tyr – Eric The Red (Napalm reissue)
6. Variant Cause – Excavating Variant Cause: 1980s Pacific Northwest Volume 1 (variantcause.com reissue)
7. Korpiklaani – Tales Along This Road (Napalm)
8. Massacre – Killing Time (ReR/Fred reissue)
9. Skyron Orchestra – Situations (Transubstans)
10. Mr. Brown – Mellon Tre Ogon (Transubstans reissue)
11. Count Basie – One O’Clock Jump: The Very Best Of (Columbia/Legacy reissue)
12. Chromeo – Presents Un Joli Mix Pour Toi (Eskimo mix album)
13. (Various) – The Kings Of Techno Compiled By Laurent Garnier And Carl Craig (BBE/Rapster mix album)
14. Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band – Hammersmith Odeon London 75 (Columbia reissue)
15. Dizzy Gillespie – Night In Tunisia: The Very Best Of (Columbia/Legacy reissue)
16. Bangles – We Are The ‘80s (Columbia/Legacy reissue)
17. Bow Wow Wow – We Are The ‘80s (RCA/Legacy reissue)
18. Rodney Atkins – If You’re Going Through Hell (Curb)
19. Eric Church – Sinners Like Me (EMI)
20. Ben Riley’s Legacy Septet – Memories Of T (Concord Jazz)
21. Trent Willmon – A Little More Livin’ (Columbia)
22. Keith Urban – Love, Pain & The Whole Crazy Thing (EMI/Capitol)
23. Crucified Barbara – In Distortion We Trust (Liquor and Poker)
24. Atomic Bitch – Bodyshop (Top & Bottom EP)
25. This Heat – This Is 1 (ReR reissue)
26. Kenny Garrett – Beyond The Wall (Nonesuch)
27. Aly & AJ – Acoustic Hearts Of Winter (Hollywood)
28. Ahab – The Call Of The Wretched Sea (Napalm)
29. Warpig – Warpig (Relapse reissue)
30. (Various) – American Hardcore: The History Of American Punk Rock 1980-1986 (Rhino reissue)
31. Yabby You – Deliver Me From My Enemies (Blood & Fire reissue)
32. (Various) – Aquamarine (Epic/Sony Music Soundtrax)
33. Axe Bahia – Positivo (Univision/Fonovisa)
34. Voivod – Katorz (The End)
35. Gargamel – Watch The Umbles (Transubstans)
36. Incredible Bongo Band – Bongo Rock (Mr. Bongo reissue)
37. Killola – Louder, Louder! (Our EP)
38. Summoning – Oath Bound (Napalm)
39. David S. Ware - Balladware (Thirsty Ear)
40. (Various) – The Kings Of Diggin’ Compiled & Mixed By Kon & Amir and DJ Muro (BBE/Rapster mix album)
41. Def Leppard – Yeah! (Mercury)
42. Delta 5 – Singles & Sessions 1979-1981 (Kill Rock Stars reissue)
43. (Various) – Classic Country: Sweet Country Ballads (Time Life reissue)
44. Pentagram – First Daze Here Too: The Vintage Collection (Relapse reissue)
45. Jesus H Christ And The Four Hornsmen Of The Apocalypse (jesuschristrocks.com)
46. Whodini – Funky Beat: The Best Of (Jive/Legacy reissue)
47. (Various) – She Was Country When Country Wasn’t Cool: A Tribute To Barbara Mandrell (Sony BMG/BNA)
48. Cabruera – Prohiba Cochilar: Sambas For Sleepless Nights (Piranha)
49. (Various) – The Rough Guide To Bhangra Dance (Rough Guides/World Music Network reissue)
50. Shooter Jennings – Electric Rodeo (Universal South)
51. (Various) – Totally Country Vol. 5 (Sony BMG/Warner Music Group)
52. (Various) – Broken Bridges (Show Dog/Nashville)
53. The Veronicas – The Secret Life Of… (Sire/Warner Bros.)
54. Magnolia – Magnolia (Transubstans)
55. Rhino Bucket – And Then It Got Ugly (Acetate)
56. Gilles Peterson – Pure Fire! A Gilles Peterson Impulse Collection (Impulse! mix album)
57. (Various) – Crunk Hits Vol. 2 (TVT)
58. Stefy – The Orange Album (Wind-Up)
59. Rahsaan Roland Kirk – Brotherman In the Fatherland (Hyena reissue)
60. Crash Kelly – Electric Satisfaction (Liquor & Poker)
61. Joan Jett and the Blackhearts – Sinner (Blackheart)
62. Dean Martin – Swingin’ Down Yonder (Collector’s Choice/EMI reissue)
63. (Various) – Irie Reggae: Best Of Dancehall (Time Life reissue)
64. D.O.A. – Bloodied But Unbowed: The Damage To Date 1978-83 (Sudden Death reissue)
65. Tom T. Hall – The Definitive Collection (Hip-O reissue)
66. (Various) – High School Musical (Walt Disney)
67. The Horrors – The Horrors (Stolen Transmission EP)
68. Place Of Skulls – The Black Is Never Far (Exile On Mainstream)
69. Carter Falco – If It Ain’t One Thing (CMH)
70. Dixie Chicks – Taking The Long Way (Open Wide/Columbia)
71. Shannon Brown – Corn Fed (Warner Bros.)
72. Mardo – The New Gun (House of Restitution)
73. Jamey Johnson – The Dollar (BNA)
74. Ronnie Milsap – My Life (RCA)
75. Brooke Hogan – Undiscovered (Sobe)
76. Dead Moon – Echoes of the Past (Sub Pop reissue)
77. Warmachine – The Beginning Of The End (Nightmare)
78. Red Swan – Cold Winters Dawn (Isoxys)
79. Nacao Zumbi – Future (Trama)
80. Falkenbach – Heralding The Fireblade (Napalm)
81. Aaron Carter – Come Get It: The Best Of (Jive/Legacy reissue)
82. Ne-Yo – In My Own Words (Def Jam)
83. Pumice – Yeahnahvienna (Soft Abuse)
84. Solar Anus - Skull Alcoholic: The Complete Solar Anus (Tumult reissue)
85. Spi Ritual – Pulse (Sensory Dark)
86. Shawn Camp – Fireball (Skeeterbit)
87. The Miles Davis Quintet – The Legendary Prestige Quintet Sessions Sampler (Prestige promo reissue)
88. Hollis – The Best That I Can Do (hollismusic.net)
89. Nikki Corvette And The Stingrays – Back To Detroit (Dollar Record)
90. Kellie Pickler – Small Town Girl (BNA/Sony BMG)
91. Brain Surgeons NYC – Denial Of Death (Cellsum)
92. James Talley – Got No Bread, No Milk, No Honey, But We Sure Got A Lot Of Love: 30th Anniversary Edition (Cimarron reissue)
93. Loverboy – We Are The ‘80s (Columbia/Legacy reissue)
94. Justin Timberlake – Future Sex/Love Sounds (Jive/Zomba)
95. Alan Jackson – Like Red On A Rose (Arista Nashville)
96. (Various) – Stereophonic Musical Listenings That Have Been Origin In Moving Film Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (Downtown/Atlantic)
97. Towers Of London – Blood Sweat & Towers (TVT)
98. Lucas McCain – New Horizon (AudioBrush)
99. Blaine Larsen – Rockin’ You Tonight (BNA)
100. Tyr – Ragnarok (Napalm)
101. First Band From Outer Space – Impressionable Sounds Of The Subsonic (Transubstans)
102. Marit Larsen – Under The Surface (EMI)
103. Wolfgang Bang – What Are You Going To Do? (ESM)
104. Clipse – Hell Hath No Fury (Re-Up Gang/Star Trak/Zomba)
105. Scandal – We Are The ‘80s (Columbia/Legacy reissue)
106. Vains Of Jenna – Lit Up/Let Down (Filthy Note/Outlook)
107. Jane’s Addiction – Up From The Catacombs: The Best Of (Warner Bros./Rhino reissue)
108. Big Dictator – Big Dictator (myspace.com/bigdictatortheband)
109. Hacienda Brothers – What’s Wrong With Right (Proper)
110. Field Mob – Light Poles And Pine Trees (DTP/Geffen)
111. Ludicra – Fex Urbis Lex Orbis (Alternative Tentacles EP)
112. E-40 – My Ghetto Report Card (Reprise/BME)
113. Dierks Bentley – Long Trip Alone (EMI)
114. Becky Hobbs – Best Of The Beckaroo Part 1 (Beckaroo reissue)
115. Gilles Peterson & Patrick Force – Present Sunday Afternoon At Dingwalls (Ether mix album)
116. Redhill – You Got What You Get (redhillrocks.com)
117. Southwind – Southwind (neilcarswell.com)
118. Persephone’s Bees – Notes From The Underground (Columbia)
119. Webstar – Presents…Caught In The Web (Universal Republic)
120. Marion Raven – Heads Will Roll (Eleven Seven EP)
121. Quota – 5-Song Demo (sticktoyourguns@yahoo.com EP)
122. Pitbull – El Mariel (TVT)
123. Les Trolls – Culture De L’Incoherence (Broklyn Beats)
124. Chris Young – Chris Young (RCA/BMG)
125. Hard-Fi – Stars Of CCTV (Necessary/Atlantic)
126. Irma Thomas – After The Rain (Rounder)
127. Lynn Marie & the Boxhounds – Party Dress (Squeeze)
128. (Various) – Rollergirls: Music From The A&E Television Series (Koch)
129. DC Snipers – Missile Sunset (Dead Beat)
130. (Various) – Rio Baile Funk: More Favela Booty Beats (Essay Recordings)
131. Tea Leaf Green – Rock’n’Roll Band (Sci Fidelity)
132. Villebrad – Alla Ar Har Utom Jag (Transubstans)
133. George Thorogood and the Destroyers – The Hard Stuff (Eagle)
134. They Shoot Horses – Boo Hoo Hoo Boo (Kill Rock Stars)
135. Mother Truckers – Broke, Not Broken (Bosco)
136. The Lizards – Against All Odds (Hyperspace)
137. Madder Mortem – Desiderata (Peaceville)
138. Survivor – The Hits (Volcano/Legacy reissue)
139. Pink – I’m Not Dead (LaFace/Zomba)
140. Aphex Theory/AFX – Chosen Lords (Rephlex)
141. John Adams – The Dharma At Big Sur/My Father Knew Charles Ives (Nonesuch)
142. Gosta Berlings Saga – Tid Ar Ljud (Transubstans)
143. Rosemary Clooney – Come On-A My House: The Very Best Of (Bluebird/Legacy reissue)
144. The Free Spirits – Out Of Sight And Sound (Sunbeam reissue)
145. Gecko Turner – Guapapasea! (Quango)
146. Rage – Speak Of The Dead (Nuclear Blast)
147. (Various) – Panama! Latin, Calypso And Funk On The Isthmus, 1965-75 (Soundway reissue)
148. Jessi Colter – Out Of The Ashes (Shout! Factory)
149. My Dying Bride – A Line Of Deathless Kings (Peaceville)
150. Bob Drake – What Day Is It? (Ad Hoc)
151. Pat Green – Cannonball (BNA)
152. Carneyball Johnson – Carneyball Johnson (Akron Cracker)
153. Ashley Monroe – Satisfied (Columbia promo)
154. Daj – I Know You Want Me (Purple Buddha)
155. Electric Six – Senor Smoke (Metropolis)
156. The Duhks – Your Daughter And Your Sons (Sugar Hill reissue)
157. Nomo – Newtones (Ubiquity Recordings)
158. Poni Hoax - Poni Hoax (Tigersushi)
159. Nelly Furtado – Loose (Geffen)
160. Mark Applebaum – The Bible Without God (Innova)
161. Johnny Rodriguez – The Best Of: The Millenium Collection (Mercury reissue)
162. Weltenbrand – The End Of The Wizard (Napalm)
163. Hannah Montana – Hannah Montana (Walt Disney)
164. Kill Cheerleader – All Hail (Spinerazor)
165. Meg & Dia – Something Real (Doghouse)
166. Oneida – Happy New Year (Jagjaguwar)
167. Rammstein – Rosenrot (Universal)
168. The Pack - Skateboards 2 Scrapers (Up All Nite/Jive/Zomba EP)
169. Laibach – Volk (Mute)
170. Matt O’Ree – Matt O’Ree (mattoree.com EP)
171. Lee Roy Parnell – Back To The Well (Universal South)
172. Henrik Schwarz – DJ Kicks (!K7 mix album)
173. Jace Everett – Jace Everett (Epic)
174. I Shalt Become – Wanderings (Moribund reissue)
175. Embryonnck – Embyronnck (Staubgold)
176. Merrimak – Of Entropy And Life Denial (Moribund)
177. Da Muzicianz – Da Muzicianz (TVT)
178. KT Tunstall – Eye To The Telescope (Virgin/Relentless/EMI)
179. Katie Neal – Katie Neal (myspace.com/katieneal EP)
180. Celtic Frost – Monotheist (Century Media)
181. Marvin Sease – Candy Licker: The Sex & Soul Of (Jive/Legacy reissue)
182. Danava – Danava (Kemado EP)
183. Measles Mumps Rubella – Fantastic Success (Doubling Cube)
184. The Lost Trailers – The Lost Trailers (BNA)
185. Philadelphy-Martinek – Zuhaus//Home (Delphy Entertainment)
186. Kayla Lociero – Beautiful World (Aria)
187. Lacrimas Profundere - Again It's Over (Napalm EP)
188. Brush – Brush!? (Normal/Shaddoks Music reissue)
189. Warren Burt – The Animation Of Lists And The Archytan Transpositions (XI)
190. The Heart Attacks – Hellbound & Heartless (Hellcat)
191. The Lordz – The Brooklyn Way (Perfect Game/East West)
192. Morning 40 Federation – Ticonderoga (M80 Music)
193. Leaves Eyes – Legend Land (Napalm EP)
194. IQ – Roll Call (WPE)
195. Trace Adkins – Dangerous Man (EMI)
196. Lucas Prata – Let’s Get It On (Ultra)
197. Zombi – Surface To Air (Relapse)
198. Nell James – Tempus (nelljames.com EP)
199. Drop The Lime – We Never Sleep (Tigerbeat 6)
200. Hammers Of Misfortune – The Locust Years (Cruz Del Sur)

[Ed: there's even more.]

A satanically, aggressively dull year for music. That the rise of YouTube - and all the good-hearted, candy-coated '70s-'80s nostalgia that that implies - was the biggest item this year spoke copious volumes for the state of the art. A few good forms are reworked and yet the ever-encroaching "Sargasso sea of absolute garbage" creeps closer to shore. This is not so much negativity made bond as it is the art of deeper diamond hunting (Neil and Lavender excluded from the discount, thank you for shopping), with the gems shining truly and sincerely amidst the flawed stones strewn across the path. The specter of illegal downloading and file-sharing pales unto arch-beigeness when compared to the shelves upon warehouse shelves of musicians you don't care about, don't want to care about, don't want to possibly even think of perhaps maybe dreaming to try to attempt to faintly care about before the dream turns into a nightmare of wanting desperately to care - and vanishes like a fart on infrared. What's next for 2007? Unclear, but it's just five scant years before peak oil, massive shorts on tinfoil and fluoride futures, and total Mayan apocalypse. So make the best of it. If you live.

[Ed: right, and then you have to go and list Banksy as your fucking #2 arsist of the year.]

Pop-ists are the new rock-ists. Neither is ideal.

[Ed: Shoulda saved "arsist" for this one.]

1) Lily Allen’s music is about as interesting of that tabloid snap of her (then fourteen year old) tit. It’s flat, overexposed, and only gets limey perverts excited.

...

6) I’ve had enough with this Arctic Monkeys worship. No one has coasted by on this much misplaced good will since Terri Schiavo.

...

16) HIM’s fanbase probably keeps a lot of plus size latex shops in business.

Vs. Death(incl. both dodging and rechecking consequences) the theme, as usual. But if that seems too rockist, be assured that my album of the year, Robert Cray Band's Live From Across The Pond, has plenty pretties to lure us into his obsessions. "Whether the right or the wrong, at least the mystery's gone," but his guitar always thinks otherwise, sniffing at numbers in a phone booth, extending a tour of duty in Iraq, even trying to follow somebody down the hall. Now that Dylan's finished his old-timey-rewired triology, maybe he'll check this, and see how deep a modern blues album can be.

[Ed: completely blank ballot]

It's not Matos's fault, and Maura seems personable enough on her livejournal, but I feel even more alienated participating in an Idolator poll than I will in a couple of weeks when I submit a ballot to that magazine on Cooper Square that I used to write for. Whatever's wrong with the nu-Voice, it's not emblazoning its ignorance and bigotry on its masthead, like you do. Taking swipes at "manufactured teen idols" is bigotry, and it makes you come across as trying to suck your readers off: "When the internet came, we overthrew the pasty white tastemakers, the duplicitous music marketers and the manufactured pop idols. And then they all came back." Putting aside that what you're saying is utterly retarded (what, were Mariah and Left Eye and Courtney home-grown in the backyard, and hand-watered and fed on tofu, in comparison to the new shiny industrialized Kellys and Carries and Ashlees?), that word "we" is simple bad manners. You have no right to it. In any event, I'm not a part of it.

There's nothing about 2006 that particularly stands out in my mind; to paraphrase the most overused cliche if the new millennium, "it was what it was." Per my lone choice of a single -- I'm not a "track" or an iPod person, god help my albumcentric soul -- 2006 was, musically speaking, like a snake farm. Sounds purty nasty. Pretty much was. Draw what inferences from that as you will.

So in lieu of clever comments, an anecdote. It's one of those "proud papa" stories, so you've been warned.

[Ed: anecdote snipped to help facilitate The War Against Children, a meme I'm trying to hype as the replacement for The War Against Christmas.]

Things that are awesome about Web 2.0 and music democracy: the absolutely stunning and lovely videos put on by Web video collective la blogotheque. The videos are gems: seeing Grizzly Bear sing 4-part a-capella through the streets of Paris, learning that eerily pretty and feline Chris Taylor is the one providing the ghostly "aaa-ooows" in "Knife," or the interplay between Will Sheff and Jonathan Meiburg as they're singing the gloriously nasty Hitchcock Vertigo-as-a-song "Love To A Monster," a version that's better than the staid recorded version, which switches Meiburg's wheezing accordion for sadly plinky piano. And then there's the stunning My Brightest Diamond video, where it's clear that Shara Worden is sort of terrifying and brilliant.

...

Even if Joanna Newsom doesn't necessarily top the poll this year, everybody knows that she's probably the artist that you will be talking about in twenty years. She's the artist who will have a 33 1/3 book out on her work, and she's the one who's a genius. Time will tell if her career will pan out like Joni or she'll have her two great albums and that's it. Either way, cool!

How can a band sell out shows everywhere they go, have a fanbase of screaming teenage girls who dress up in costumes for their shows, and not necessarily be number one on your radar? When they're Harry and the Potters, the country's finest novelty rock Harry Potter band. [Full disclosure: I know these guys]

...

If you turn on the radio station, the hip hop songs are all pitched towards little kids. Everything's singsongy, like you can do jump rope to it, and it's all vague pronouns talking about sex. It's pretty gross marketing on the par of Joe Camel.

I listen to very little new music any more, and get even less.

(Ed: Get this man some new music! And I mean that with affection, really! Surely you can spare some CDRs for Ed Ward!)

...The blind ignorance that greeted (and continues to greet) [The Dixie Chicks] is depressing evidence of a country so obviously lame and brainwashed that it can't even recognize when someone is trying to protect it--just as acknowledging the existence of global warming is un-American, so too then is acknowledging the words of Natalie Maines. Country may not want them, but rock n roll has been looking for them all its life. There's a dearth of energy and conviction in today's rock, making a once wiry, relentless genre feel paunchy and tedious. Even more thrilling than Maines' statement itself is the band's video for "Not Ready To Make Nice." The language of the title reflects the way country sees them as foolhardy little girls who made a boo-boo. The band responded by flipping the bird in a most tuneful, elegant, and mature way.

There was a lot of talk on whether or not the Dixie Chicks' gender had anything to do with the intensity of the boycott. Anyone who says gender was inconsequential is a moron. Period. If Maines didn’t have a vagina, I wouldn't be writing this, and Wal-Mart wouldn't have banned their albums. Bruce Springsteen, Merle Haggard, Steve Earl... no flies on them. But apparently three pairs of tits and three brains pose a triple threat to our society.

What keeps Mr. Dylan going while his peers long ago slid into creative retirement? Why did he produce such crummy music from 1977-1997 and such great music from ’97 onward? Who did he vote for in November? Who greets him at home when he gets off tour? How long can his streak continue? Why is he so underrated?

Bottom line about 2006: TV on the Radio were the only band to make an album that I feel will get, if not classic status, certainly listened to and mentioned 10 years from now. I can't say the same for anything else.

2006 is also the year that I switched mindsets and now firmly believe bands should sell out in any way possible. I'm partly fecetious, but with so many bands vying for attention to an audience that moves on to the next band in seconds, you gotta get your music out to as many people as possible. Do I still cringe when I hear Common's "rap" about Gap hoodies? Yes. But I understand.

Technology is winning the battle for content supremacy, just as it always has. The tumult and ineptitude in the music press mirrors what's happening in the music industry at large, as both industries make the infuriating transition from a mature phase to one of decline. The good news is that while the machines that drive the business continue to sputter helplessly, the music itself has never been better.

[Ed: another blank one]

Perhaps I will remember 2006 as the year that I listened to only what I wanted to listen to, where -- following the failure of my unbacked-up harddrive -- I retreated to a new house in a new town and just really listened. I will look back on it and remember how lovely it was to be free of the hype cycles and rating systems and buzz bands and snarkiness, to listen in an empty room to all of Coltrane's late period molecular densities, all the Stax singles in chronological order, and the unyielding casualness of 1972 Grateful Dead jams. I will remember the sound of ice forming and breaking on the surface of the stream and wondering if I should try to record it. I hope I remember all of this, because -- even if I didn't do any of that in 2006 -- memory is a fickle thing, and it's never too late to reinvent it. Or I s'ppose I could just remember "Crazy," which isn't so bad, either.

[Ed: I think this is beautiful even if I roll my eyes at "molecular densities."]

T.I. and Dylan both made great vocal records...There aren't many people on the planet right now more in command of meaning than those two. Each of them can start a word going one direction and end it heading somewhere else. If Jay-Z's return was partly a response to T.I., then it was misbegotten; Jay's stolid diction seems surprisingly lumpen up against Tip's dancing drawl.

Also, is it possible to put Sufjan Stevens to work in a factory or soup kitchen? Anything so that he stops making music and creating a wave of sycophantic couples enraptured by new-infantilism.

Hey I just wanna say a "thank you" to Pitchfork, Pazz & Jop, everyone in Man Man, the bassist in CSS, MTV & Paramount, the Boredoms, R5 Productions, family and most of all Nick Sylvester

[ed: another blank one]

(my nane is jim fouratt)

Quite simply most music sucked in 2006.

Commercial Rap/Hip hop has completely lost whatever reality-based narrative story telling it had and has slithered into a glitzy marketing tool for everything from booze to personal lubricants. (Oh Jay-Z you are truly hip-hop’s Barry Gordy.) Mr. Green, Russell Simmons, now imports diamonds from South Africa. Guess pot and flesh is not as profitable for Mister Simmons as bling! He tries to justify his greed with an arsine explanation that he is helping provide jobs to African workers. One wonders what Simmons thinks is a living wage. Pop music has played it so safe that everything begins to sound like soundtrack somnolence, even when full of beats. Indie rock has falling into a pit of nostalgia for music whose authenticity has only initiation role-modeling for them (shall we just say Strokes). I know we are in deep trouble when the most provocative political musical statements this year came from aging fops like the Pet Shop Boys and Morrissey ... not to criticize them for filling the void made by the sound of a billion bands stampeding to be sponsored by a corporations hell bent on selling us something we really don't need. Homophobia still has its blood sucking fangs in Dance Hall music and those Jamaican artists who try making music free of such hate language are not given the exposure by the marketing geniuses manipulating the infectious beats. The flop of fee based radio even with the awesome programming by Dylan of his personal picks and old Howard sagging as his aging teen-age bad boy-isms play like last years dirty joke, means to me that the public is not so ready to be charged for what in fact legally belongs to them for free. The good news is that clubs across the world are spawning music that gets filtered through Myspace and it initiators and so far, Murdock has not manged to strangle its freedom.

Making moves back and forth uptown
60 dollars plus toll is the cab fee
Wintertime bubble goose, goose, clouds of smoke
Music blastin' and the Arab V blunted
Whip smelling like fish from 125th
Throwin' ketchup on my fries, hitting baseball spliffs
Back seat with my leg all stiff
Push the fuckin' seat up, tartar sauce on my S Dot kicks
Rocks is lit while I'm poppin' the clips
I'm ready for war! Got to call the Cuban guys
Got the Montana pulled in front of the store

[Ed: lots more on the ballot]

A quick note re: Will Oldham, who in addition to making my top artists list also rivaled Beyonce for the year's best acting job by a musician. After that fierce 1987 performance as the teen preacher in John Sayles’ "Matewan," dude finally made his return to serious filmmaking, playing the exquisitely passive-aggressive stoner Kurt---a guy you could definitely see being a Bonnie Prince Billy fan---in Kelly Reichardt’s excellent, haunting "Old Joy." Oldham also released two very good CDs this year ("The Letting Go" and the Tortoise collaboration "The Brave & The Bold") which became great CDs if you spent time with them. And of course he hovered like a hairy fairy over the whole “freak folk” scene, a movement that he deserves as much credit/blame for inspiring as anyone, from blueprinting its eccentric sense of history to midwifing Joanna Newsom’s professional career.

I wrote that before your Cibula bait comment, I guess I should have erased it.

how the fuck do i think like an idealogue and this dude doesnt??

In the sense that he didn't allow his concern about coverage of particular groups to override what he apparently actually liked (of what he got to hear). You were implying that since he bothered to make the point he made that he should somehow banish rock (or white rock critic type picks) from his list. Maybe that's just voting strategically, not being an ideologue, but I prefer to see what people actually enjoyed the most or thought was the best (even if it means Mission of Burma).

dude from the white stripes

Is he on there somewhere?

x-post:

Okay, I didn't know what that Raconteurs was. I wasn't looking that closely at the singles ballot (which seems pretty rap and R&B dominated actually).

>"(my nane is jim fouratt)

Quite simply most music sucked in 2006."

Where does Jim write these days? Every once inawhile I used to see him writing for the Voice but my main memory of him is from when he used to run that NY company back in the early '80s that djs bought postpunk records from, and he was in charge of the New Music Seminar. I remember grumbling at him at the seminar when he was busy touting Brit New Romantic stuff only and ignoring DC hardcore punk and go-go. He also used to run a club didn't he, that had a doorperson who decided whether you were dressed right to get in, I think?

Fouratt's MySpace page: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=35739072

Actually I just want more editors who like curveballs (and there are some out there, I have 1). Individual writers can stick with just fastballs if that's their thing.

I'm out the door, this has been fun.

I had major guilt feelings about including ONE white rock group on my list, but I almost included another one on there. Good thing I threw it off and put on an African woman, or else I'd be Padgett-bait for sure!

Your own belated top 2006!

(He Poos Clouds? yeah, but I like it.)

x-post, thanks.

This is actually a great angle, though!

sam ubl's comments are funny. judging from his writing style, this is exactly how i'd expect him to be.

yeah i wz gonna say i do listen to mexican pop and brazilian jazz, just not enough.

My feelings about him are very much the same as those for other old guard gay activist dudes like, say, Larry Kramer: "why the fuck do you have to be on my side?" (With "my side" not merely defined by gayness but by a whole assortment of lefty values, including disgust with the military-industrial-death-lizard-complex and its apologists.)

Thing to take into consideration: if anybody's ever lived the gay-lib version of "Losing My Edge," it's Jim Fouratt. He was there: participated in Stonewall, in the GLF, in ACT-UP, etc. He's a professional activist, so the lack of nuance about some things doesn't surprise me too much -- nor please me very much.

It's irritating that his strawmen are like five years out of date: even with all of the media hustle surrounding Jay-Z and Russell Simmons last year, does anybody reasonably clued-in think they're figureheads for ANYTHING anymore? (And COME ON, the Strokes?!)

Michael, for what it's worth, I agree with you (well, agree with you 80%), and posted a quasi-retraction on my blogs. I do come off as a bull looking for a cape, don't I? And the "suck your readers off" statement isn't just nasty and probably wrong, it's irrelevant too, since I ought to be dealing with people's ideas, whatever their motives for coming up with them. I hate it myself when people spend time assigning motives to me at the expense of paying attention to my arguments. That said, (1) if you get past the first paragraph, the rest of my comments about criticism and music are worth reading, and maybe, someday, writers outside of Poptimists and the teenpop thread will finally pay attention to Aly & AJ et al., and (2) there are things deeply wrong with Idolator, and I was right to proclaim my alienation/dissociation, even if I should have done it with less anger and self-righteousness. But the Jackin' Pop threads aren't the place to go into the virtues and flaws of Idolator, and doing the Jackin' Pop poll is on the virtue side. Basically, what Brian and Maura do on their blog isn't necessarily a big deal to me, so long as the Idolator tone doesn't spill over into the presentation of Jackin' Pop (which was my fear, but it didn't happen).

(also, I can’t believe anyone seriously voted for MC Lars, but apparently somebody did! And the Bardo Pond album’s in there twice – as “Ticket Crystal” and “Ticket Crystals”.)

-- Haikunym (zinogu...)

dude he linked to red state reader on ile like MONTHS ago

Top 5 Artists of 2006

1. Smash Hits Magazine
[...]
5. MySpace Tom

eeps i kinda forgot to ever finish the second issue of that. and i've got like 90 percent of it in the can. at this point it would be like a sesqui-annual.

fixed