Ladies and gentlemen, the wit and wisdom of Brian May

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Well, I see Brianmay.com is still being read by the Establishment Newspapers. That's comforting. But I have really no wish to go on bandying words with this Petridis guy - he's not worthy of it. With his pathetic little swipe at We Will Rock You, he has actually underlined the point, if it needed underlining, that the glorious success of We Will Rock You, which after 5 years is still thrilling packed houses in the Dominion every night of the week, has put a final nail in the coffin of the credibility of British critics. Every day, WWRY is further living proof that the current crop of critics is completely redundant. Look; anybody can have an opinion, and anyone can voice it. But there is no reason to imagine that someone who has never themselves created a successful West End show would have anything to say which was worth listening to. The same applies to Music in general, of course. No-one who can make great music would ever stoop to give it up, and become a music critic.
No opening of a musical (with the possible exception of "Les Miserables", which is also still runnning, and playing to packed houses) has ever been so viciously attacked by the Press at its opening. And night after night after night, they are proved wrong. You only have to look at the faces of the happy folks pouring out of the Dominion every night to see why. People go; people have a great time; people come back for more; they bring their friends, because they want to share the feeling, and have a great night out. They want to Rock. We Will Rock You is conquering not only Britain, but the World, because of the fantastic performers who work so hard in it, LIVE, every show, because it embodies the uncluttered joy of Rock, and has something interesting to say, and because of the awesome power of Word of Mouth. It makes me very proud. I am proud because we created something unique and positive, which gives happiness to people. I would never be proud of spreading negativity around - even if I didn't personally like somebody's artistic creation, which happens frequently, I can tell you.

We Will Rock You will be making people smile long after both its creators, and its whingeing detractors, have left 'Planet Mall'.

That will be the last word. And you can quote me.

Cheers
Bri

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 09:50 (eighteen years ago)

"ANOTHER CRAP WRITER IN THE GUARDIAN. SOON WE WILL STOP BEING SURPRISED !

Good Lord. What a wanker ! [Guardian Unlimied] I have a picture in my head of Alexis Petridis, writer for the Guardian - shall I share it with you ? In my mind he looks like a nasty, grubby, spotty, unusually ignorant 15 year old creep, who is foolish enough to think he has one thousanth of the talent, or the courage, of someone like Mika, writing a facile piece of attempted artistic assassination, as if he's trying to prove he has teeth in a 6th form magazine. The Guardian really needs to get some writers who know what they are talking about.

Mr. Petridis ? Your 'review' of Mika? Utter rubbish. You just don't get it. Any of it. Go away and get a life, preferably not in journalism. Try to learn the tambourine.

Cheers
Bri "

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 09:51 (eighteen years ago)

"Good God ! Another nasty piece of work in Drowned In Sound. What is it about journalism which attracts the filthiest scum of the Earth ? What decent person could write something so despicably and nonsensically insulting as calling someone a 'diseased Leo Sayer"? I don't even want to get into the rest of this manifestly stupid article. This young guy Mika is just starting out, and has, by his own talent and hard work, already caused a splash. Why do these pitiful writers feel the need to try to vilify him, and bring him down? By all means criticise the music, if you really think you know better than he does. But these personal insults tell us nothing about anyone, except the diseased, jealous brain of the writer. I wonder what YOU look like, Gareth Dobson, you fabulous intellectual giant, you. You'd better be good looking, writing garbage like this. Even if you were, you would still be worthy of nothing but our contempt. Take my advice. Get a proper job. Make something of your own that gives pleasure to people; have the courage to put YOUR creativity on the line - and see what treatment YOU get from the 'critics' of the world. Meanwhile ... shame on you.

Cheers
Brian "

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 09:52 (eighteen years ago)

I thought the original letter would be signed 'Marcello Carlin'

― Bluto (Mr Happy), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 10:00 (eighteen years ago)

This is only the third thread on ILM where this has been discussed. Get one search function.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 10:02 (eighteen years ago)

Ah, I couldn't find those as it didn't seem to have a dedicated thread. If he continues in this entertaining vein it'll deserve one.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 10:06 (eighteen years ago)

The delicious irony of I ALEXIS getting his biggest public humiliation on one of the rare occasions when he's actually OTM!

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 10:10 (eighteen years ago)

Somehow I doubt Alexis is the one who's getting humiliated here.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 10:12 (eighteen years ago)

http://ec2.images-amazon.com/images/P/1844425525.02._AA240_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

― NickB (NickB), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 10:16 (eighteen years ago)

http://ec2.images-amazon.com/images/P/B00000720J.01._AA240_SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

Ew!

― NickB (NickB), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 10:17 (eighteen years ago)

His argument for We Will Rock You is not the most convincing, to be sure. It sounds like a Pete Papthetic Times review.

But the I ALEXIS public flogging can be enjoyed on its own base terms.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 10:20 (eighteen years ago)

He has a point, insofar as I'll probably warm to WWRY after Ben Elton dies

― Hell Hath No Furry (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 10:24 (eighteen years ago)

Brian May is OF THE PEOPLE, yeah?

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 10:25 (eighteen years ago)

He's generally in favour of giving them what they want and taking their money, yes. Everything he does is driven by you remember.

― NickB (NickB), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 10:34 (eighteen years ago)

He played "God Save The Queen" on the roof of Buckingham Palace to remind us that punk never happened.

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 10:37 (eighteen years ago)

(of course he allegedly played on the other "God Save The Queen" as well but enough about that)

― Marcello Carlin (nostudium), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 10:37 (eighteen years ago)

My fave Brian May moment is when Viz did an expos@e on him having nits.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 10:41 (eighteen years ago)

Why is May defending Mika? Is it because he sees criticism of Mika for "sounding like Freddie Mercury" as criticism of Queen? Is it that he sees anyone following in the musical lineage of Queen as one of "his own" and therefore worthy of defending? Or is it that he doens't understand that Mika is fucking the corpse of Queen hollow in a really unsophisticated and cynical way?

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 10:58 (eighteen years ago)

yes

― vita susicivus (blueski), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 11:20 (eighteen years ago)

My guess is that Mika is supporting Queen With The Bloke From Free on tour later this year.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 11:21 (eighteen years ago)

Well, that is what WWRY does in front of packed houses every night, isn't it?

I bet that big Freddie above the theatre entrance is hollow...

I think Brain May is too busy to write these letters.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 11:25 (eighteen years ago)

Water-On-The-Brain May more like

― vita susicivus (blueski), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 11:26 (eighteen years ago)

A happy accident.

― PJ Miller (PJ Miller 68), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 11:27 (eighteen years ago)

My guess is that Mika is setting himself up to replace The Bloke From Free at some point soon.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 11:29 (eighteen years ago)

I tried to be like Graham Kelly, but all his looks were too sad:

http://www.mightyleeds.co.uk/images/grahamkelly.jpg

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 11:36 (eighteen years ago)

mika is setting himself up to replace justin hawkins.

― m the g (mister the guanoman), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 11:37 (eighteen years ago)

The Priory has an empty room?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 11:39 (eighteen years ago)

I tried to be like Freddeh, cos fuck a Rod and Jane frankly.

― vita susicivus (blueski), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 11:41 (eighteen years ago)

I had to look this up yesterday when we were talking about this, but by all (PR-generated) accounts Brian was so taken with Mika when he first heard that he wrote him a letter saying DERE MIKA U ROCK CAN I GET YOUR SISTERS EMAIL ADDRESS, or similar

― Hell Hath No Furry (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 11:56 (eighteen years ago)

if Brian May can find Drowned in Sound he can find us...

― acrobat (elwisty), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 12:03 (eighteen years ago)

"Join Me in Death" is a song by the Finnish band HIM. It was also released as "Join Me", since they weren't allowed to include "Death" in the title for the US version. The album it appears on, 2000's Razorblade Romance, was labeled with a parental advisory sticker despite the change. This song was released as a single and is the band's best-known song in Europe, where it made HIM a household name after being featured in the sci-fi movie The Thirteenth Floor.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 12:05 (eighteen years ago)

If Brian May can find Drowned in Sound he can find TANYA HEADON.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 12:20 (eighteen years ago)

I will never understand how people like Brian May don't realise what utter cocks they look like when they do this? Seriously. How much of an arse would you have to be to not realise you were making yourself look like an arse?

― It's Tough to Beat Illious (noodle vague), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 12:26 (eighteen years ago)

he can realise he made himself look like an arse, then he can think of all his money and success, and then maybe it doesn't hurt quite so bad?

― Friendly Tree (688), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 12:50 (eighteen years ago)

The thing is, though, he's made himself an arse to people like us. The vast majority of people probbaly don't think he's an arse, or that WWRY is awful, or that Mika needs shooting.

― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 12:56 (eighteen years ago)

TS: Rock stars whining about the Guardian vs. underemployed blogger-types whining about teh Guardian.

I'll take the former any day.

― everything (everything), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 19:05 (eighteen years ago)

I saw We Will Rock You. It didn't know whether it wanted to be a broadway-type musical or an arena rock show. Everything that took place between the songs was awful, and it wasn't worth the money at all.

― Steve Go1dberg (Steve Schneeberg), Wednesday, 7 February 2007 19:13 (eighteen years ago)

three years pass...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/jul/12/badger-cull-wales-brian-may

brian may otm

― D, dilly, dillies, dill, d-bombs (history mayne), Monday, 12 July 2010 11:06 (fifteen years ago)

I admire Brian May as a guitarist & writer. Well, at least the 1st 4 or 5 Queen records were decent... But he's shown himself to be a really petulent assclown with this stuff.

― ImprovSpirit, Monday, 12 July 2010 19:04 (fifteen years ago)

nine years pass...

Sheer butt attack

https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/08/entertainment/brian-may-gardening-injury-scli-intl-gbr/index.html

― genital giant (Neanderthal), Friday, 8 May 2020 13:11 (five years ago)

His arse got rotivated

― calzino, Friday, 8 May 2020 13:22 (five years ago)

Death on Two Cheeks
Flaps of the Gods

― genital giant (Neanderthal), Friday, 8 May 2020 13:32 (five years ago)

Another One Bites the Butts

― Flaneuring Bevan (Noodle Vague), Friday, 8 May 2020 13:41 (five years ago)

Butt Hole Crazy

― genital giant (Neanderthal), Friday, 8 May 2020 13:57 (five years ago)

The Furry Feller's Master Stroke
Spread Your Cheeks
Too Much Gardening Will Kill You

― the fucking cunts treat us like Styx (Matt #2), Friday, 8 May 2020 14:01 (five years ago)

I'm betting the picture editor at the Guardian had an enjoyable day's work choosing the appropriate picture to accompany the story. I think they chose well.

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/22f53f19f0118e496d3c298617a131e2c06ff2e3/0_914_2381_1428/master/2381.jpg?width=620&quality=85&auto=format&fit=max&s=0a8824842741f78d1f7142c96ab18c9c

― Frank Bough: I Took Drugs with Vice Girls (Tom D.), Friday, 8 May 2020 14:02 (five years ago)

Crazy Little Thing Called Shrubs

― 🔫 (peace, man), Friday, 8 May 2020 14:11 (five years ago)

Bohemian Topiary

― 🔫 (peace, man), Friday, 8 May 2020 14:11 (five years ago)

March of the Flap Queen

― genital giant (Neanderthal), Friday, 8 May 2020 14:12 (five years ago)

Tie Your Butthole Closed

― genital giant (Neanderthal), Friday, 8 May 2020 14:13 (five years ago)

"Where does it hurt, Mr May? Innuendo?"

― Frank Bough: I Took Drugs with Vice Girls (Tom D.), Friday, 8 May 2020 14:14 (five years ago)

Driven By You (To The Hospital After Injuring My Buttocks In An 'Over-enthusiastic' Gardening Incident)

― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Friday, 8 May 2020 14:17 (five years ago)

Hot Spruce
A Night at the A&E
A Day at the Roses

― the fucking cunts treat us like Styx (Matt #2), Friday, 8 May 2020 14:29 (five years ago)

Some Booty To Love

― No mean feat. DaBaby (breastcrawl), Friday, 8 May 2020 17:53 (five years ago)

No More Bicycle Race

― Flaneuring Bevan (Noodle Vague), Friday, 8 May 2020 17:54 (five years ago)

Backside Rendezvous

― Frank Bough: I Took Drugs with Vice Girls (Tom D.), Friday, 8 May 2020 18:01 (five years ago)

Allotment Funster

― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Friday, 8 May 2020 18:10 (five years ago)

One Fissure

― Flaneuring Bevan (Noodle Vague), Friday, 8 May 2020 18:10 (five years ago)

A Kind of Triagic
Great 'king twat

― the fucking cunts treat us like Styx (Matt #2), Friday, 8 May 2020 18:17 (five years ago)

Splat bottom, curls

― glumdalclitch, Friday, 8 May 2020 18:21 (five years ago)

Now I'm Here In Hospital
Hospital Radio Ga Ga

― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Friday, 8 May 2020 18:26 (five years ago)

"Bizarre Gardening Accident"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZrqC5LL_oo

― earlnash, Friday, 8 May 2020 21:41 (five years ago)

Gash! Aaargh!

― Matt DC, Friday, 8 May 2020 23:07 (five years ago)

The mow must go on

― or something, Saturday, 9 May 2020 00:13 (five years ago)

We Will Mulch You

― maffew12, Saturday, 9 May 2020 00:23 (five years ago)

Tie Your Mower Down

― Frank Bough: I Took Drugs with Vice Girls (Tom D.), Saturday, 9 May 2020 00:26 (five years ago)

Shear Arse Attack

― zoom séance goes tits up (Matt #2), Saturday, 9 May 2020 00:32 (five years ago)

Bad Bottomed Twirls

― No mean feat. DaBaby (breastcrawl), Saturday, 9 May 2020 11:49 (five years ago)

I'm Mowing Slightly Mad

― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Saturday, 9 May 2020 11:51 (five years ago)

Crazy Little Thing Called The Lav
Riven By Poo

― zoom séance goes tits up (Matt #2), Saturday, 9 May 2020 12:09 (five years ago)

I'm In Love With My Trowel

― peace, man, Saturday, 9 May 2020 21:11 (five years ago)

May played guitar on the Lonnie Donegan track "Digging My Potatoes".

― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Saturday, 9 May 2020 21:28 (five years ago)

two weeks pass...

Bloody hell Bri

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2020/may/25/brian-may-queen-near-death-heart-attack-gardening

― some infected evening (Matt #2), Monday, 25 May 2020 14:48 (five years ago)

His garden is trying to kill him

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Monday, 25 May 2020 15:12 (five years ago)

Too Much Lawn Will Kill You

― No mean feat. DaBaby (breastcrawl), Monday, 25 May 2020 17:21 (five years ago)

Fought the lawn and the lawn won

― I am a free. I am not man. A number. (Neanderthal), Monday, 25 May 2020 17:22 (five years ago)

nipped out for a shear, heart attack

― maffew12, Wednesday, 27 May 2020 02:22 (five years ago)

Bravo.

― Is Lou Reed a Good Singer? (Tom D.), Wednesday, 27 May 2020 09:08 (five years ago)

A Night At The Operating Theatre

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 27 May 2020 11:37 (five years ago)

Shear Arse Attack

― Lemon Kitten (Dan.S.), Wednesday, 27 May 2020 21:44 (five years ago)

two months pass...

Found a cattail that's the spitting image of Queen guitarist Brian May pic.twitter.com/azSP2q97Ef
— MKupperman (@MKupperman) August 20, 2020

― maf you one two (maffew12), Friday, 21 August 2020 12:00 (five years ago)

Mika's rapid disappearance is pretty funny in light of the opening posts of this thread.

― chap, Friday, 21 August 2020 13:07 (five years ago)

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/ULBlRSoX8HsGWAjWzHmnMn7BQ4JeNJ-aWPhV7Lb9KAoXCzs3n35yujou3f2ojyIV24FMZeKNx4cAO5_z3TTXeozXXj83wXlIAfCmzJwGMsKJnWo1Qvwbe-vwRKd6VRz7bIJ1

Mika still a star in Italy and France. He’s a mainstay in the French version of The Voice.

― No mean feat. DaBaby (breastcrawl), Friday, 21 August 2020 14:11 (five years ago)

not sure if he has any flowers growing after him tho

― No mean feat. DaBaby (breastcrawl), Friday, 21 August 2020 14:12 (five years ago)

How's his butt

― muntjac wagner (Neanderthal), Friday, 21 August 2020 17:12 (five years ago)

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