When A Co-worker Asks "Why Don't You Ever Invite Me To One Of Your Shows?" What Do You Say?

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I Just Said, "Why Don't You Sleep With Your Own Mother?"

― sexyDancer, Friday, 23 February 2007 17:30 (nineteen years ago)

same answer, really: it's fucking taboo

― sexyDancer, Friday, 23 February 2007 17:42 (nineteen years ago)

This taboo has not sufficiently caught on among people playing their third show who get told that maybe if they can bring in more than 40 people they'll get a shot at something other than a Monday night. :(

― nabisco, Friday, 23 February 2007 17:55 (nineteen years ago)

Sometimes 40 people is a lot!

― St3ve Go1db3rg, Friday, 23 February 2007 17:59 (nineteen years ago)

haha I just had to deal with this very question meself... altho in the past I've told coworkers that are musically inclined and with similar tastes abt my doings. pretty rare though.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 23 February 2007 18:00 (nineteen years ago)

still is there any answer to this question that doesn't make you come off as defensive/secretive/assholish...?

― Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 23 February 2007 18:02 (nineteen years ago)

Well, if you didn't mind coworkers seeing you, why wouldn't you just say "oh, I didn't want to bother you / didn't know if you'd be interested, but you should come to our next show?"

― nabisco, Friday, 23 February 2007 18:05 (nineteen years ago)

"Didn't want to pressure" is probably a better way of coming at it, because seriously, if you happen to work with more than 2 people who are trying to get bands off the ground, and they're not self-conscious about asking you to come ... I mean, every single week you're guaranteed some sort of "oh, we're playing again, it's an important show for us, you should all come out." It's like the equivalent strain of someone having a birthday or housewarming party three times a month and feeling all socially obligated about it.

― nabisco, Friday, 23 February 2007 18:08 (nineteen years ago)

A former coworker invited me to her band's shows several times. From all that she'd told me about them I knew the chances of my enjoying it were next to nil, so I had to keep inventing excuses. Maybe put the word out at work in a general way via a flyer or a group e-mail, if you really need/want to enlarge the crowd, but I agree that inviting specific coworkers to come to one's shows is not a good idea.

― xero, Friday, 23 February 2007 18:12 (nineteen years ago)

Just say "I don't listen to hip hop" and walk away.

― St3ve Go1db3rg, Friday, 23 February 2007 18:12 (nineteen years ago)

(Unless you are very sure that your band would be his or her cup of tea.)

― xero, Friday, 23 February 2007 18:13 (nineteen years ago)

The above is useful for turning down any kind of invitation at all, really.

― St3ve Go1db3rg, Friday, 23 February 2007 18:13 (nineteen years ago)

It was a top-40 cover band.

― xero, Friday, 23 February 2007 18:14 (nineteen years ago)

ouch

― Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 23 February 2007 18:17 (nineteen years ago)

Best bet in that situation is to refuse at least a few times, and then if she keeps asking just suck it up and go once. You can get loaded and enjoy the tackiness of the whole thing, and since it took so much effort just to get you to come once she's not going to start expecting you to come all the time.

― Hurting 2, Friday, 23 February 2007 18:22 (nineteen years ago)

As for my own shows - my last project had the benefit of being clean and accessible enough that there was no one I really minded having show up. One of the bands I'm playing with now is decidedly not like that, but luckily I haven't had to deal with the issue yet.

― Hurting 2, Friday, 23 February 2007 18:25 (nineteen years ago)

I make sure I never tell them about the gig until after the gig. Except in very vague, general terms, like date and area of town. Tell them you'll give them the details later, and then don't. And then go "oh sorry you missed it, I'll invite you to the next one, honest." Repeat to fade.

I've been here nearly two years, and no one has ever seen my band. Except on the television. (Apparently they all took the morning off work and gathered round to watch us.) I plan on keeping it that way!

― Masonic Boom, Friday, 23 February 2007 18:25 (nineteen years ago)

Hahaha but then there are those who assume that now that you've come, you've seen this show for the amazing life-changing wonder it is, and will keep coming from then on, for sure.

― nabisco, Friday, 23 February 2007 18:25 (nineteen years ago)

"I make sure I never tell them about the gig until after the gig. Except in very vague, general terms, like date and area of town. Tell them you'll give them the details later, and then don't. And then go "oh sorry you missed it, I'll invite you to the next one, honest." Repeat to fade. "

hahaha omg Kate I totally do this too

― Shakey Mo Collier, Friday, 23 February 2007 18:29 (nineteen years ago)

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