For the scribes/editorial types: Worst Experience With A Publicist

Some years ago I did a story on a highly-regarded singer-songwriter that was to run in a US-based jazz magazine (he'd recently released two albums that were jazzy enough in parts that the editors seemed willing to go for it). In order to get the interview, I held out the possibility that it would be the cover, though the editor told me not to promise that, so I didn't. Nonetheless, I got the interview, and the artist himself could not have been more gracious, talking for nearly an hour on the night, then calling me back the next night of his own volition because he felt there were points he wanted to make but hadn't been able to get across in our initial conversation, about the nature of his partnership with his wife and some other things. So all in all nearly two hours of conversation. But then the piece was spiked. So I offered it to a UK magazine frequently reviled here on ILM, which magazine promptly offered me a) the cover and b) approximately 3x the word-count the jazz magazine had been willing to give me. So, from my perspective and presumably the artist's, it was a good thing. I wrote the piece, and informed the publicist of the change of venue. Whereupon I was the recipient of an outraged, howling voice mail talking about how I had "raped" the artist in question and the publicist would see that my reputation was thoroughly blackened within the industry. Indeed, a ranting description of my unspeakable behavior went out to a publicists' e-mail list. Unfortunately for the publicist in question, I already had a very good reputation from six years of being easy to work with, readily providing clips or links to pieces published online, etc., etc., so a bunch of the publicists she sent it to replied back with "What are you talking about? This guy's terrific, plus you got a cover story - what's the problem?" and variations on that theme. Plus, I sent her a vituperative e-mail of my own, which was apparently also distributed through channels because about a week later I called up someone at a big record label, his assistant recognized my name as being attached to the e-mail, and said I was a "hero" for treating this woman with the scorn she deserved. I've only worked with her once since then, and I guess there's been enough time passed that she's forgotten all about it, because our second encounter was thoroughly efficient, professional and painless.

Up until now the worst thing that ever happened when dealing with a publicist was many years ago when I talked the editor of a then-fairly major national rock publication into letting me do a feature on a then-new band, the first "big story" that the band had recieved to date. The publicist did not like me and made no qualms about it. She called the editor and actually asked him if he would get another writer. The editor told her that he assigned the story based on my pitch and if I didn't do the story, nobody would (he told me this himself). The publicist took care of me from that point on, flying me away to do the interview and driving me all around town. The story ran, everyone liked it, the band wound up being successful, everyone lived happily ever after.

But that was all eclipsed this past week...

This is the text of an email I sent to another publicist at the label, one who I believe works above the one in question and one I have worked with for ages, almost as long as I have been writing. Identifying things are x'ed out.

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In addition to my national outlets, I have been editing a local newspaper's Arts & Entertainment section for over a year. Over two weeks ago, I assigned a writer to interview xxxxxxxxxx to preview their show in town. He was in touch with xxxxxxx xxxxxx and left him several emails and phone messages until right before our deadline, and after a message left by me, he emailed the writer to say it couldn't be done.

That happens all the time so it was no big deal but I did want xxxxxxx to know that I could stretch the deadline if need be so I called him. He told me that even stretching the deadline it was impossible. Again, no big deal.

I told him on the phone that I wanted to have a writer review the show if possible and xxxxxxx said it shouldn't be a problem. Great!

While I had him on the phone, I mentioned that I emailed him myself earlier in the week about xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (another band coming into town the same week) because I wanted to interview the band to preview their show. I am a huge fan and was looking forward to it. Again, he said it shouldn't be a problem and that he would get back with me the next week to set things up. Cool!

Well, flash ahead to the middle of last week. I received an email from the xxxxxxxxxx writer who said that he still hadn't heard back about his ticket request. I replied that xxxxxxx had told me it shouln't be a problem and that he should just keep trying to get the confirmation. At this point I made a follow-up call to xxxxxxx and left him a message asking about this as well as the xx xx xxx xxxxx phoner that I had yet to hear about.

Finally on Friday at about 1:30 AM after dealing with two days of moving, I check my email on my phone and see that xxxxxxx emailed the xxxxxxxxxx writer that evening saying there were no tickets available. This confused me since a week before I was told it wouldn't be a problem and I still had yet to hear one word from xxxxxxx myself!

Friday at around noon I call for xxxxxxx and leave him a message. I am stressed from my move and having two stories still unaccounted for in the next issue is just more stress. I even said in the phone message that I was stressed and tired from moving all week and I would appreciate him returning my call soon so I could figure out what was going on with both requests.

At around 1:30 I called again and this time I got someone who said he was xxxxxxx's Friday intern. I was really frustrated when he said that xxxxxxx was not there and wouldn't be there for 45 minutes or so but that he was there before, which meant he got my message and never called. I left a more terse message explaining to the intern that I needed to know what was going on.

I hang up and, desperate for some kind of contact, dial the number that I have as your direct line. I was hoping that maybe you could assist with the communication. Much to my surprise, a guy answers the phone with a familiar voice. I ask if you are in and he says no. I then ask if this is xxxxxxx and he confirms it.

This started the most bizarre conversation I ever had with a publicist. He was defensive and evasive. When I asked him about what happened since last Friday when it shouldn't be a problem and now, he never really has an answer for me, nor can he tell me at what point in that time things changed. I told him that finding out earlier would have been very helpful but he didn't seem to care. I asked him how much media there could be in Columbus and he said tersely, "I don't have to tell you my list."

It was becoming increasingly obvious that he would not give me answers to my questions - whether I deserved answers or not is debatable but I sure thought I could have gotten blown off politely at least - so I said, "Okay, fine then. We can't get xxxxxxxxxx tickets. I still haven't heard from you about xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx and we do need to set that up."

He blew my mind when he said: "I sense some thinly veiled hostility in your voice and because of that I am not going to put you on the phone with one of my artists."

Excuse me?

xxxxxxx turned away xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx press because I was upset at him. This was surreal. I stuttered and could barely respond because this was ludicrous. It was the only explanation he gave me, a week after telling me it shouldn't be a problem.

I have never dealt with someone as unprofessional as xxxxxxx was. On three separate assignments covering two bands in two issues of my newspaper, xxxxxxx was uncommunicative (by the time he actually replied to a request, it took several emails and phone calls from two people, and it was already too late to do much in the way of replacement stories). Then he lied to me - what, to get me off the phone? - and then he was rude and then he was insane.

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I don't know what is going to happen but I would love advice from others here what they would do now... I would just drop it but this label has a lot of acts and I hate to think I can never assign something from them again all because a publicist acted like he was on crack (that's not hyperbole, I honestly thought as that he was on something.) I am trying to contact the management of the band I wanted to interview. Even though it's too late to set up something, at least I can let them know why we weren't able to preview their show.

name names

Maybe there were worse ones but at one point I got into a really stupid email back and forth with a publicist who demanded to know why I didn't plan to cover their artist in Seattle Weekly because they were "huge in this market." I explained that I didn't work that way. "Well, what if someone pitches it to you?" "I'd have to wait and see, but for now I'm not interested in covering it. We have a lot of other stuff going on and spaces is limited" etc. I was cordial. Then he responded with one of those EVERY other WORD in CAPS deals and I told him to fuck off. It stays with me because it was just so obvious this was the first time the guy had done this kind of thing, or at least had gotten the idea somewhere that being a total dick was going to get him results. It's just like, "dude, nobody gives a flying fuck about Up, Bustle and Out."

I'm tempted to post about a coworker from the ad dept who kept badgering me to let her write for the section, just because she was so terrible she might as well have been a publicist.

I should note that I mean the thrust of all the writing I saw was essentially veiled publicity, not criticism or reporting or whatever.

but yeah fuck it, most publicists can't write for shit. SHOCKER

This is why they hire us to do bios. It's been a while for me though...

Update: The other publicist who I am sure most of you know emailed me back saying she was at a funeral but would deal with it when she got back (great timing for me to drop this bullshit on her lap). I tried to contact management of the band I wanted to interview - the best-kept secret in rock because I never found out. I did speak to the booking assistant at their booking agency who would not tell me who managed the band but at least seemed upset at their band not getting press and encouraged me to email him what happened and he would forward it to management if he felt it was appropriate.

I know I sound like someone who had a waiter spit in his food and he's screaming at the corporation that owns the restaurant to have his head or something but that's kinda how I feel. There are a lot of talented, passionate people out of work yet this guy has a job.

more more more!!!! revive revive, spill...

public relations is good for the soul

Once I was trying to get an interview with a musician who was coming to town. She didn't have a new record out at the time; it was for a "theme" story I was writing. I knew the musician and knew the label's publicist, so I'd just call the publicist and make sure she didn't have any outstanding obligations. The first time I got a curt "I'll look into it and call you later" response. The second time - a few days before said musician was coming to town - I called back to politely check up. The publicist went ballistic on me and spent a good five minutes berating me, my project and my zine, getting very personal at times. She kept saying, "She DOESN'T HAVE A NEW PROJECT OUT NOW! I don't have TIME for this!" I hung up the phone, shaking. I ended going down to the club early, asking the musician for an interview and having a nice conversation.

I learned an important lesson that week: never, never, never get the publicist involved unless absolutely necessary. Even if you think you're down with said publicist.

This isn't really a great story, but here goes. A few years ago I was supposed to review the first Courtney Love solo record, but was having a devil of a time finding a publicity contact. Some flailing around led me to a publicist via a ILMer who will remain nameless but warned me to expect "total indifference." He was right; this witch of a publicist promised to send me a copy upon release date, which I was cool with. What followed was weeks and weeks of trying to follow up and confirm, searching other people on the company online and emailing them and simply trying to get a line on this woman , to no avail. eventually my editor let somebody else do the review because that person had managed to score a copy. T**** Z*****, you suck.

The sad thing is that I have worse stories but can't remember them right now. Oh, here's one - I was doing an American Idol/America's Got Talent mass review feature earlier this year, and as part of it I was supposed to review Bianca Ryan's CD. Publicist ignores emails for weeks, no acknowledgement, review's written and comes out in January, yadda yadda. Last week? Bianca Ryan CD that came out in fucking November arrives. Bullshit.

T**** Z*****, you suck.

Great stuff... I have my people on this... ;-)

Was this her first terrible album on Caroline or another one? (OH, you mean not a HOLE album?)....?