I got a big dick

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Is a track by Maurice Joshua released on Serious records in 1988. Basically it goes I got a big dick, I got a big dick....I got a big dick Continue for another 6 minutes in much the same vain. I got it on a house compilation at the weekend, andI think it is entirely fantastic.

So what other songs have the best example of braggadocio?

Billy Dods, Friday, 12 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Or just talk about the size of your cock if you want.

Billy Dods, Friday, 12 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"I'll get it anywhere, any way I can, I'm the fucking son of Superman" - Germs, "Sexboy"

Don't forget the distaff riposte, that old blues song by (I forget), "Shave 'Em Dry" - "I got nipples on my titties big as hamburger buns, what I got between my legs'll make a dead man come"

dave q, Friday, 12 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Isn't there a Dwarves song that goes "I'm the best fucking fuck in the whole fucking world" or something similar? That probably qualifies..

electric sound of jim, Friday, 12 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Talk Like Sex" (Kool G Rap)

For the ladies, one hundred and ninety-five pounds of beef,
chinky eyes, curly hair and gold teeth,
Swingin' with this here stud, you need practice
i'm leaving floods of blood on your mattress
I'll leave you holdin' your swollen backside and rollin'
fillin' all three holes just like bowlin'
Don't ask me what the price is
but it's more than your battery-operated devices
And I come fully equipped
with a temperature adjustment to heat up the tip
For demonstrations, watch me slam her
you'll notice the sound of steady poundin'
Like a jackhammer once on it, ya can't cop out
i'm poundin' ya down until your eyeballs pop out
I'm not your ordinary player
because you'll leave in a wheelchair, dear, after I lay ya
Get a grip on your headboard and hold on to it
or get sent right through it
Bite your nipples when I lick 'em
not gentle when I stick 'em, huh
I'll leave 'em lookin' like a rape victim
any girl who steps to it
Ends up gettin' their stomach pumped like Rod Stewart
i do a damn good job
That's why - Chicks are on my dick like a human shish kebab
Only nineteen and over permitted
no matter how much young girls wanna be with it
You ain't ready for the bed
you still got a pussy like Isaac Hayes' head
Come back in five years
when ya grow some hairs and when ya started drinkin' beers
I'm hittin' hookaz by the dozen
makin' ya wetter 'cause I fuck better than your husband
Givin' ya girl back spasms
cause G Rap has 'em orgasm after orgasm
Change the sheets? Ya must be kiddin'
ya gotta change the whole box spring
I ain't bullshittin', you get hit with hysteria
cause I'ma bury a big one inside your private area
All hell is in your tush
when Kool G. Rap push pushes inside this bush, Anotha homegirl flinches
but I got inches for all you lil' wenches
The letter G is better when it comes to the letter X
An' I'ma talk like sex
Rated XXX
Some say that I'm nasty plus
hookaz are mad because they can't outlast me
Girl, you ain't too small
cause I turn your crystal to one size fits all
So if you're still confused when I'm screwin'
let me explain to you exactly what I'm doin'
Exploring your body like a biologist
inventin' new ways just like a scientist
Taggin' my name on your buns just like a printist
while I'm hurtin' your ass just like a dentist
You're so wild I feel like I'm a zoologist
stretchin' your shit more than a gynecologist
I'm gonna twist your ass to death, miss
and when you piss, you'll see more stars than an astrologist
G Rap is hot blooded, freakin' horny
far from corny, come and jump on me
I'm not small and all, I won't break down a stall
i drive the ass up the wall
Nuts and everything are well in shape
the only thing missin' on my dick is a cape
Let's get togetha, honey, ya never know what's next
and I'ma talk like sex
Rated XXX
Big girls try to squash me
but I think with my dick, honey, so come and brainwash me
Hit the sack cause I ain't jokin'
cause when I start pumpin' shit up, I leave it smokin'
So ya betta hold on tight all right
cause my dick is a brown stick of dynamite
A stick, a trick, and it kills her
i'm probably related to Long Dong Silver
But it gets gooder and gooder
every time I grab a hooka and I put her on my frankfurter
Kiss your breasts to your navel and then I skip
cause the only thing I'm lickin' is your ass with a whip
And it's a real freaky scene
i'm hittin' girls with their heads in a guillotine
Why certainly I'm squirtin'
bust your nut and get up and wipe my dick on your curtain
Pushin' your head to the pillow
and givin' more pleasure than a double-headed dildo
A big ass gives me a hard-on
but I fuck bitches with titties like Dolly Parton
Time or place doesn't matter to me, sweety
i'll fuck you on the "A" train while I write graffiti
In a restaurant, takin' you straight to heaven
in a cab or the back of 7-11
Whether you're white and the music you like is rock
you can come and get some hip-hop cock
Consider this dick on your clitoris
but never try to flex
cause I'ma talk like sex.

dave q, Friday, 12 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

SHEELA-NA-GIG I've been trying to show you over and over
Look at these my child-bearing hips
Look at these my ruby red ruby lips
Look at these my work strong arms and
You've got to see my bottle full of charm
I lay it all at your feet
Gonna wash that man right out of my hair
Just like the first time, said he didn't care
Gonna wash that man right out of my hair
Turn the corner, another one there
from Shella ni Gig

anthony, Friday, 12 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Sheela Na Gig" always sounded more desperate to me than boastful.

Braggadocio-wise, howabout: "My Weapon" by XTC, "I Get the Job Done" by Big Daddy Kane, "Beef Bologna" by FEAR, and/or (despite its ironic intentions) "Big Dumb Sex" by Soundgarden.

Alex in NYC, Friday, 12 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Was accused on the Suede thread of writing 'Casio songs about his own penis'. It's a big theme with me, I must admit.

Momus, Friday, 12 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

hey hey there's that song that goes " i got the world up my ass...i got the world up my aasss!" um ... by circle jerks, but i'm not sure that is a good thing or if they are braging, is that braging? anyway yes big dicks are good .

cherrysqueak, Friday, 12 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

well that is not to say that only big dicks are good . all dicks are good. no not all dicks. um.. oh

cherrysqueak, Friday, 12 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

killdozer: i am the king of sex. (repeat until fadeout)

dbini, Friday, 12 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"World Up My Ass" always struck me more as a cry for help then a boast:

"i've got the world up my ass and i'm gonna move fast gonna be the first won't be the last i've got the world up my ass society is burning me up take a bite, then spit it out take their rules rip 'em up, tear them down twisted mind, withered brain you know i'll go insane i just tell them to get back when they tell me how to act! i've got the world up my ass you know i've got the world up my ass!"

Alex in NYC, Friday, 12 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I have a scar on my chin because of "big dumb sex"!!!!! yeah!!!

Ron, Friday, 12 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Not sure if it is bragging but the sex change described by The Frogs in I had the Change ends with give forty five tits, oooh give fourteen hundred balls, give cocks coming out of every living pore

or something like that

Sonicred, Sunday, 14 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

five years pass...

indeed.

Richard Wood Johnson, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 15:54 (eighteen years ago)

Living up to your name?

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 15:55 (eighteen years ago)

Hmm. Hadn't thought of that. I never realized that my name could be viewed as slang terms for male genitalia, actually. I feel kind of silly now, having gone my whole life with people probably snickering at me behind my back.

Richard Wood Johnson, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 15:59 (eighteen years ago)

I'm glad I was able to illuminate that for you. It was only after I realized something similar that I changed my name from Nerd Faggot.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 16:01 (eighteen years ago)

At least you aren't What Color Is Your Parachute author Dick N Bolles.

dad a, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 16:03 (eighteen years ago)

It's the little things.

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 16:04 (eighteen years ago)

"Nuts and everything are well in shape
the only thing missin' on my dick is a cape"

is one of my favorite lyrics of all time

Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 16:06 (eighteen years ago)

Suddenly that "dick wang" epithet on some other thread makes so much more sense. I may have to get my name legally changed now.

Maybe Peter is a better name, anyway.

Richard Wood Johnson, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 16:07 (eighteen years ago)

I was gonna post "Talk Like Sex" but I was beaten by 5 years.

Best line: "The only thing missin' on my dick is a cape"

Whiney G. Weingarten, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 16:07 (eighteen years ago)

Beaten by two minutes on that one too.

Whiney G. Weingarten, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 16:08 (eighteen years ago)

Ah, tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Devi usare un pollo
Devi usare un pollo
Se me la vuoi tastar

Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Devi usare un pollo
Se me la vuoi misurar
Devi usare un pollo
Se me la vuoi tastar

Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Guarda che se la mangia
E mentre se la sta a pappa'
Chiedimi che cosa fa
Se la sta a succhia'

Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia
Devi usare un pollo
Devi usare . . . se la vuoi misurar
Devi usare un pollo
Se me la vuoi tastar

Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia da tastar
Mmmmm
Come on, baby
Come on, baby, suck my fire!
Oh yeah . . .

Guarda che se la mangia
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Guarda che se la mangia
Mentre se la sta a pappa'
Chiedimi che cosa fa
Ma e chiaro! Se la sta a succhia'

Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Guarda che se la mangia
Guarda che se la mangia e se la sta a succhia'
Darling
Darling
Darling
Look at your sister
Do something like that, thanks

Devi usare un pollo
Devi usarlo per misurar
Cosi' me la potrai succhiar
You both suck in stereo
Jesus!

Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia accussi'
Tengo na minchia tanta
Tengo na minchia
Tengo na minchia tanta

Rock Hardy, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 16:34 (eighteen years ago)

"Sheela Na Gig" always sounded more desperate to me than boastful

I always associated this lyric with the Ana Ng fertility statue (crouched figure with massively exagerated labial exposure).

Oh, and for a new post, hows-abouts Aerosmith's "Big 10 Inch"

christoff, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 20:29 (eighteen years ago)


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