This is staggeringly difficult. 1971 was the year I started Following The Charts, and so a lot of these would be Perfect 10s from me.
OK, process of elimination. Let's say goodbye to:
Clive Dunn - Grandad
Not even redeemed by Herbie Flowers. I thought it was sappy at the time, and I was an 8 year old Dad's Army fan, ergo one of the target demographics.
Mungo Jerry - Baby Jump
The last UK Number One until (probably) Michael Jackson's "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" which I can't cue up on my internal jukebox.
Tams - Hey Girl Don't Bother Me
Cute but slight.
Dawn - Knock Three Times
Lovable, especially in its Peter Glaze <i>Crackerjack</i> incarnation, but still a little too silly.
Dave & Ansil Collins - Double Barrel
This would be the hipster choice, and so I'm a little suspicious of over-praising it.
Benny Hill - Ernie (The Fastest Milkman In The West)
Cast aside with great reluctance. I took a return Virgin flight to China just over a year ago, which had every UK Number One EVER on the in-flight entertainment system. You can imagine the joy. Deciding to do without sleep, I proceeded to work through them in order from Al Martino onwards, and managed to get as far as late 1975. OK, so not all of them got played in full (Pat Boone only lasted 20 seconds before I could take no more), but only two earned immediate repeat plays: Those Were The Days and Ernie.
Middle Of The Road - Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep
The single which Turned Me On To Rock And Roll, no less. Seminal, indeed. But there are *cough* better songs...
T. Rex - Hot Love
Drags on a bit at the end, let's face it.
George Harrison - My Sweet Lord
Oh, let's be all rockist and moan about the Chiffons lift. Got to get rid of them somehow.
Rod Stewart - Maggie May
That Peel-on-mandolin TOTP clip has been so over-played on lazy nostalgia clip shows, that the greatness has been fatally diluted.
OK, final three. T.Rex, Diana Ross and Slade, with nary a hair's breadth between them.
Slade - Coz I Luv You
Not the greatest lyric in the world, so it's Gudbuy To Slade.
T. Rex - Get It On
I'm rejecting this because I didn't particularly care for it at the time, unlike...
Diana Ross - I'm Still Waiting
...which I have loved without reservation for the past 36 years, right from when Tony Blackburn started hammering it on his Radio One Breakfast Show. And if she performs it in Nottingham next Tuesday, I'll be a happy man.
― mike t-diva, Tuesday, 1 May 2007 14:48 (seventeen years ago) link