How dull would SCHIZO FUN ADDICT make an7y band on Lookout Records appear?

-- Andy (andy@lookoutrecords.com), April 15, 2002."

Our name rocks. Like LOOKOUT RECORDS is rock and roll. Get the fuck out of here with that cheese. Put us on a stage with any band on that sorry ass commericalized faux punk rock label of yours and we'll show you what a real New York City lo fi tornado will due to that phony made of plastic sorry excuse for an undderground wanna be happening.

Don't take my word for it though. Here is what THE NEW YORK CITY STREET REPORT said of our last gig:

"At 2:30 AM we headed over to a bar called 2A where THE STROKES were holding court with THE WHITE STRIPES. I had no idea they would be there, but such serendipity is a cornerstone element in serious scenbuilding. The place was buzzing. It just felt great to be in the right place at the right time. The DJ was spinning classic guitar rock from past and present. People are finally dancing again to music other than house and techno (which I also love). The only set back was the impossibility of getting into the bathroom.

At about 3:30AM I was handed a flyer for an after hours gig for a band called SCHIZO FUN ADDICT which boldly claimed, "the greatest clandestine venue in the history of rock and roll." Anybody who wanted to attend was told to be out front at 4AM when a white van would pick us up and bring us to the mysterious venue. Tony Zajkowski, front man from HONEYCOMB and satellite member of SCHIZO FUN ADDICT told me not to miss this so I headed outside to wait for the van. As I crammed into the back with a load of mad fuckers, I realized that nobody knew what this was all about. The van was making stops at various bars around the city and picking up freaks with invites.

The van deposited us downtown at the Brooklyn Bridge where we were escorted into an abandoned maintenance shed inside a column of the bridge. Stunning! This was totally illegal. The DJ was playing a mixture of British indie rock from the early 90s-- STONE ROSES, CHARLATANS, HAPPY MONDAYS, as well as big beat and hard house trance tracks. Many blunts were being passed around.

It was packed with approximately 100 people. The space was like a small cavern but with 20 foot high stone ceiling, dirt and gravel floor, and four walls filled with acidic visuals and strobes. Then a movie started to play using all four walls as four separate screens.

This was so unbelievably strange. The movie was about some person called BURNWEED and his belief that THE STONE ROSES are angels heralding in The Second Coming. The movie lasted about 40 minutes and then SCHIZO FUN ADDICT took the makeshift stage made of wooden pallets and a closed dumpster as drum riser. They killed! There is no possible way to describe the sheer uncontrived experimental quasar of sound this crew put out. There was full on white noise guitars that shook the concept of treble past anything MY BLOODY VALENTINE may have ever dreamed of. There was electric piano and sax too and a drummer that had eight arms when he wasn't triggering full on big break beats.

They have two front people, a manic guy and a more subdued girl (so hot) who sang some of the oddest harmonies I've ever heard. Try to picture early VELVET UNDERGROUND working with THE APHEX TWIN remixing SONIC YOUTH's first album or maybe DIONNE WARWICK fronting THE JESUS and MARY CHAIN. During one song all four walls were covered in video of full on hardcore lesbian sex which caused a chain reaction in the crowd. Two girls were having mad oral on right behind me. Total rock and roll insanity. If you ever get a flyer invite from this crew DO NOT miss it."

http://www.nycstreetreport.faithweb.com/

You couldn't even dream a gig this god let alone sing a band worthy of such praise. Get ready for it. We're coming there this Summer and the UK will never be the same. Stick it up your ass Andy. Fuck you.