OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?

Argh, nu-ilx has shrunk it slightly past readable; here's a direct link - http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v236/njsouthall/Screengrabs/onsellingoutexepose.jpg

I just boggled at this over my lunch.

"Jonny" is a name for gaywads

This only proves again that editors and writers are two different professions. Hence the two names.

You are actually posting a scan of an article from a student newspaper as the basis for a thread, aren't you? Good lord.

It's a screengrab from the pdf off the website! They didn't have a normal text version...

can you link to the website? photobucket seems to be banned here.

http://www.exepose.ex.ac.uk

goes from strength to strength -- feeder mention is possibly the high point.

System of a Down's top 20 single was six and a half years ago, fact fans.

"Recent developments in music have given Architechs a top 5 single"

surely this can't be THE jonny garrett?

http://www.myspace.com/chasingfaces

(yeah, they have a myspace already, the sellouts)

I suspect it must be, StanM.

I assume, from their name that they like Snow Patrol and The Small Faces.

um, holding up articles by students as examples of 'bad music writing'? talk about shooting fish in a barrel. Matt DC OTM.

Following in the footsteps of West Country acts like Muse and Thirteen Senses by already winning over interest from various major and independent record labels, things are definitely looking good for the boys. Having recently been asked to support New Zealand favourites The Checks who have just finished touring with the likes of JET and Oasis.

"I know someone who knows someone who knows the guy from Young Heart Attack quite well"

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

Even in the realm of student media this is BAAAAAAAAD though, Steve - I flick through Exepose every week and this is BY FAR the worst thing I've ever seen in it; hence not starting a thread every week.

Haha I used to write for that paper. I wonder how long before he Googles his own name and finds it.

It would be so wonderful if he googled this thread and responded. What an utterly thrilling discussion and exchange of views that could lead to.

Hey, with any luck he might hop over to ILE and start posting about his sex life or something.

(my question: is the article motivated by his own band possibly signing to a major soon?)

Maybe I should unleash the views of Chris Erasmus at you all?

Haha, yeah, I'd imagine so, StanM.

Hello Jonny's mom! No, he hasn't posted about his sex life yet. Try again later. Bye, ILX.

blueski and Matt DC offtm, this is the new web2.0 media era, we're all critics now, user provided content is the new professionally written content.

-- Dom Passantino, Monday, 18 June 2007 12:36 (11 minutes ago) Link

Dom is entirely correct here. I mean, the chuckle factor is diminished by him being a student, but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

Nobody knows how to sub-edit when they're 21, that's why.

^^not unrelated to why writers in the say, New York Times tend to sound the same. for that matter, ever read Blender? Despite the bylines it seems to be written by one many-armed poprockbot.

that really is quite incredible.

New York Times doesn't have sub-editors? That's crazy!

Hey Jonny, your band fucking suck.

Jonny Garrett of Exeter University, that is.

I think you mean <a href="OK, is this the worst piece of music writing ever?;>Jonny Garrett</a> of Exeter University.

BOO HTML

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University. Those bastards have had it their own way for too long.

Does Westlife even exist anymore?

highlights:

"...bands like westlife who can, quite frankly, go screw themselves with a rusty spoon and get tetanus"

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard one of the most influential artists of our time and dave grohl may have never founded the foo fighters."

the pathos!

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

democratization of criticism = people slagging this shit off just because they can rather than for any constructive cause. it's just easy target practice, who gives a shit? no-one/nothing is ever going to stop under-grads inheriting these absurd ideas about 'how things should be' in the music industry. surely we've all read this same article many times in the past.

i'm just more relieved than ever my music writing from college days was too soon for blog-era internet heh.

"had nirvana not signed to sub pop... we would probably never have heard of..." Sub Pop.

Was there ever a thread for people to post their own abysmal juvenile music writings from uni days?

Not that I'd post on it, my capsule reviews of Kinesis singles were all fuckin bang-on.

perhaps one day i will post my 8/10 track by track review of 'Be Here Now' from the time.

Yeah, you real writers are all jealous that you've lost the ability to write like that, aren't you?

I wrote a two-part article in my uni paper called "Rhythm & Sound", which basically stated that all rock music that's based on melody or lyrics is boring crap, and that beats and sound are the essential components of good music - hence electronic dance music (and fusion jazz) is the best music there is. I got some angry comments from the indie kids.

Kudos on sticking it to Westlife, tho, Jonny Garrett of Exeter University.

and kudos to you lot for bravely and relentlessly going after such a signifivcant target as jonny garrett. sure showed him!

ts being one of many thick students w/ bad music taste who can't write, vs being someone who actually gives a shit about what said student writes in some minor student rag

or, matt'n'steve otm, u r all losers

but the democratization of criticism basically leaves us with this sort of landscape (coughcoughP.E.W.cough).

student newspapers have nothing to do with the "democratization of criticism"

I can't copy and paste from the Exeter Expose, but if you Google you can find a review where our Jonny talks about "Indy music".

also why do nearly all student newspaper writers write in what feels like the same voice? there's certain syntax and word choices that only student newspapers ever seem to have.

paul please, please tell me you don't actually care about the answer to this

Fugazi and Aimee Mann pieces make me think there's a new generation of writers whose primary influence is ChatGPT, and who do all they can to write in the same style. Didn't take long!

It takes some skill to get close to a point only to completely reverse course in every paragraph

Whether it’s Prince wresting back control of his master recordings at the height of his popularity or Petty taking on his label for raising the price on his LP, and later funding his iconic album Damn the Torpedos himself — and then refusing to release it — skin in the game earns a seat at the table. But that table requires a willingness to leave blood on the floor and to put your money where your mouth is.

Stopped reading after the fourth cliche in a single sentence--in the opening paragraph!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRzfajyQL_k

Petty taking on his label for raising the price on his LP, and later funding his iconic album Damn the Torpedos himself

The latter happened before the former.

I thought so! Wasn't Hard Promises the one he battled his label on?

and I thought the problem was over Hard Promises.

jinx!

opened up my Bluesky feed this morning and it was wall-to-wall mockery of this clown

I am glad to have played a small part.

<3

i just don't understand how you can look at the astounding wealth generated by the music industry and think, "nah, more of that shouldn't go to artists. also, people who complain about this situation are just naïve and don't understand the 'intricacies' of this business." literal shit stain of a human

Wow, talk about a piece that makes me want to make a birthday cake for Luigi and bake a saw into it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6FiGUsjulA

ok, i instantly regret posting a ben shapiro video, but i think the point is clear about the kind of person this is

also i'm not making any comment about the topic allegedly under discussion in the video, just the fact that he's appearing on that program speaks for itslef

Capital fighting labor on every front

Fish-in-barrel time: a metal blog writing for only other metalheads is always gonna be a purple prose danger zone, but this review of the new Obscura album is almost indecipherable (and grammatically more than a little shaky). (The album sucks harder than he suggests, btw.)

MJ Lenderman live review from New Zealand's national broadcaster.

https://www.rnz.co.nz/life/music/mj-lenderman-mesmerises-wellington-s-meow-nui

Fuelled on Malaysian food from a Malaysian restaurant

Kelefa Sanneh is a good writer, but sometimes his studied neutrality gets the best of him, as it often does in his take on the Kanye track:

https://www.newyorker.com/culture/the-lede/kanye-gave-twitter-an-exclusive-hit-single

The piece comes off a provocation itself, but with no balls. His conclusion is dubious:

In recent years, one pervasive worry was that censorious social-media companies would ban and silence anyone who stepped out of line. But we now live in an era when a top musician can distribute a song called “Heil Hitler,” and there’s no way to stop him. That is the true message of this song, which has spread and thrived beyond the reach of boycotts or shaming campaigns: no one is in charge.

Except that earlier he notes:

listeners quickly discovered that the most reliable place to hear West’s new song was on Twitter, which has grown notably more anarchic since its purchase, in 2022, by Elon Musk, who renamed it X. In the past week, West has given the platform a kind of exclusive hit single—a song that can be heard almost nowhere else.

Which is to say, yeah, dummy, no one is in charge ... except for the Nazi that exclusively allows and amplifies the Nazi track from the self-professed Nazi on his not-anarchic-actually-Nazi-friendly site.

You can find it on Youtube too

Officially?

Anyway, who the fuck cares? It shouldn't be hailed as some sort of end-run around the gatekeepers, the story is the handful of people that will platform a Nazi song by a Nazi.

So banning nazis is "censorious"?
Being a nazi is "stepping out of line"?

The framing doesn’t make sense; he refers passively to a “pervasive worry” in recent years... but who was pushing that “worry,” for what purposes, and what happened next? At least, his next sentence should start with “And” instead of “But”; there’s a direct line of causality there, not a contradiction.

"anti-jewish influencer" is an, um, interesting way to describe nick fuentes, or anyone

I read the whole piece and wished I hadn’t, because it puts so much effort into finding artistic & cultural value in the song.

“those who want to experience it should probably watch the music video”(?)

“We can certainly decide not to engage with music that glorifies the Third Reich” (gee, thanks) “…(b)ut observing this sort of cultural boycott is not the same as arguing that such music can’t be compelling”(?) You’re right, it’s not the same; who said it was the same? Anyway, you’re both deciding to engage with it, *and* arguing it’s compelling…?

Not gonna reward the shite with another click tbh but it does seem like this is a genuine contender for worst writing of all time.

Anyway, who the fuck cares? It shouldn't be hailed as some sort of end-run around the gatekeepers, the story is the handful of people that will platform a Nazi song by a Nazi.

All well said J.i.C., with the caveat that it’s not just a handful of people actively pushing this toxic waste but that the entire corporate social media ecosystem’s “centrist” position is actually quite sympathetic to platforming literal fascist content regardless of whether the promotion is based on active intent or not; and that it’s very easy for “centrist” and liberal publications like the New Yorker to get infected with the cultural rot.

But wait we better find out the Reddit take before we jump to conclusions amirite

I'm not gonna post links to support my argument, but Sanneh's flirted with conservatism for years.

"Flirted with" is a good way to put it, because he's constantly tippy-toeing around various right-wing figures in his profiles. I can't figure out why, exactly. I'd like to assume it's not because of his personal beliefs and more because he senses an opportunity to write about people others won't, hence my take of "studied neutrality," under the cover of the New Yorker's imprimatur or his background. But even that stinks a lot of cynicism, and taking it as far as this defense of not that artist but a specifically abhorrent song is pretty beyond the pale. Sometimes something shouldn't be covered for a reason, and pegging a piece on the tautological hook that the subject should be covered *because* it is not being covered is the worst kind of "just asking questions" bullshit. He should be embarrassed and ashamed. I suspect he is neither, and that's a problem.

Fwiw, I was prompted to post about it after perusing a post by Marc Masters (who some of you know) on Facebook, which in turn had prompted its own discussion. For all I know this comment was from one of you, but I found this interesting:

The deep insecurity of writers like Sanneh (and, by "insecurity" I mean the will to fluctuate) mirrors that of the people he excuses with the benefit of the doubt, like Kanye and Tulsi Gabbard. I think this signals something a lot deeper than one individual's rejection of personal accountability. I think it signals a cultural crisis in which intelligent people are finding it harder to tell the difference between right and wrong. I think the fear of losing nuance in a world that's becoming evermore binary in its judgements—mob justice on the left and mob oppression on the right—is making it harder for the intellectually exploratory to know when to just stop debating and take a stance. The appropriate one here being, of course, total media boycott. We're acting as unpaid PR even talking about it here. Remember when neo-Nazis' only constant presence in the culture was the occasional sticker on a lamppost? Bring back those days, eh?

What is "mob justice on the left"?

cancel culture, see

so dumb...

I didn't want to take issue with that specifically, I copied and posted that to convey its hypothesis that the fear of extremes is making writers chicken out from taking a stance.

Agree with everything here re: Sanneh et al and the tone of the piece in question, but the idea that a song praising Hitler by one of the most famous artists of the past 20+ years was ever not going to be covered by mainstream media is a very particular kind of delusional pipe dream. Even if every word written about the vile politics of Kanye 2.0 is a condemnation, as it should be, there was never going to be a "total media boycott" of anything so scandalous and insane

I would love to live in a world where people like Kanye kind of rot on the vine and then perish quietly from indifference and neglect, but that is not our world

You would expect it to be covered more like “this is super f’d up” than “this is really interesting… and don’t miss the video!”

also every individual outlet and human can make the choice not to cover it... "someone else would've written this article anyway" is weak sauce

JiC's longish post above totally otm. I haven't really kept up with Sanneh but he wrote a lot of stuff that really influenced me when I was younger and it's disheartening to see him playing his part in this

A former ILX poster clued me into Sanneh's uh developments about a decade ago and once the steady stream of Thoughtful Pieces about right wing hooligans emerged I thought, well, hmmmm.

Rock criticism 1977: this song by Queen is fascist because it encourages group foot-stomping and hand-clapping
Rock criticism 2025: is this paean to Hitler really fascist?

Yeah, seriously. When someone names their song "Heil Hitler," that think piece has already been written for you and doesn't need any further investigation or thought. Now, why the New Yorker published/posted this is another question.

pegging a piece on the tautological hook that the subject should be covered *because* it is not being covered is the worst kind of "just asking questions" bullshit.

otm

the question is interesting to consider because i increasingly struggle when it comes to critique. to some degree there's always _some_ moral element to criticism. i've found it easy in the past, though, to conflate aesthetic criticism with moral criticism, and i think there's a natural tendency towards that. sanneh's piece is, i think, an extreme case, insisting on providing an aesthetic critique of a work whose very title renders any pretense at aesthetic critique irrelevant. one cannot engage aesthetically with the kanye piece without... without caping for fascism, yeah? this is a work created by a guy who supports fascism, promoted primarily by a pretty overt fascist, a fascist who is... i don't know how it is today, but three months ago people were saying he was the power behind the throne, yeah? i see it as kind of the ultimate form of neoliberalism - a willingness to meet hitler halfway. part of me wants to describe this behavior as merely pusillanimous, but no, i think sanneh's work is an act of accessory. (this is not a legal judgement. if there is ever a blessed day when the people who are responsible for america in 2025 are called to account, i doubt sanneh will be considered important enough to be called to account for himself.) it could be argued that the new yorker is merely pusillanimous for publishing it. (i haven't read the piece because, incredibly, the new yorker would like me to _pay_ to read it).

this is, in fact, the main reason i have very little to say at all these days. "time solves words by deeds," tim hodgkinson wrote. hmmm. six years ago, i took as a personal motto something john greaves, i think, wrote around the same time: what we feel we have to solve. the dregs within me are still not dissolved. if there's anything to solve in either west's words or sanneh's, well... my deeds won't resolve it, and certainly won't dissolve it. i chose my path six years ago, and following that path takes up pretty much all my time these days.

a willingness to meet hitler halfway

Hopefully I'm not implicated

I also think about what Henry Cow can tell us about our world today.

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/reviews/oasis-review-cardiff-liam-noel-gallagher-setlist-songs-b2781709.html

Two brothers walk on a stage hand-in-hand, one wails “hello, hello, it’s good to be back” while the other provides grunge-glam guitar, and it’s like Caesar swaggered home.

So their very first move is to send some more royalties to Gary Glitter, got it.

Mark Beaumont has always been the worst.

I miss Neil Kulkarni.