Taking Sides: "Jack the Ripper," LL Cool J vs. "Lack the Ripper," Morrissey

uh-oh, my misspelling of morrissey's "Jack the ripper" was a totally unintentional typo and not a freudian slip re: my own opinion in this contest. (if it HAD been either intentional or freudian, it would've been "Kack the ripper," since the "k" key is in between the j & l keys on my keyboard, but i digress.) although my vote here goes to LL cool j (see infra), morrissey's "jack the ripper" is actually quite a GOOD song. it's a shame that it's been rendered something of a b-side obscurity to non-morrissey fanatics (only being available on comps & "beethoven was deaf" instead of somewhere on "your arsenal" where it really belongs) -- it's musically a bit more subtle than other, more stompy-your arsenal-era morrissey songs what with the subdued shrieking background guitars underlining the song's eponymous character's menace. lyrically, it could be yet another one of morrissey's sly takes on the interaction between himself (or at least his lyrics) and his fans (and their vulnerabilities) -- but here, this potentially dangerous & fatal dynamic is made explicit with his donning the role of the infamous british murderer. as disappointingly predictable as morrissey's solo career has been since this song IMHO (really, hasn't he been slinging out slight variations of "your arsenal" ever since 1992?), it's nonetheless instructive of what makes a GOOD morrissey solo song work even now.

as for LL: like morrissey's take on Jack, LL didn't feel like including this song on any of his studio records (though it probably would've been a bit out of place with all his walking with a panther r&b-loveman schtick and could've waited till mama said knock you out). though this song is hardly obscure -- i can testify that it was definitely blasting on stereos in the NYC and philly metro areas during the summer of 1988, a welcome relief to the (non-G&R/non-metallica) poof-metallurgy and (non-new order/pet shop boys) guido-dance shite that was inescapable on the radio stations of said metro areas during that year. while morrissey's lyrics were coy about Jack's menace, LL puts the character's menace upfront. it helps to understand that it was a diss track aimed at kool moe dee (you'd be pretty pissed off, too, if your rival had put out a record with him flashing a big shit-eating smirk while standing in front of a jeep with your signature hat -- as well as yerself presumably -- splayed under its wheels) (old-school hip-hop beefs are actually kind of amusing and charming in retrospect, considering how nasty they would soon become.) musically it’s just as aggressive, starting out almost like a radio-era throwback what with its first few seconds of minimal drum machines (a rope-a-dope musical trope) before LL explodes with a blast of noise and a shout of “MILKY, AND I’M BACK!!” while moz’s Ripper is content to play cat-and-mouse with his victim, LL’s Jack just wants to endlessly beat the shit of you and throw your own words in your face to boot.

man you are geekin

i know! but i am trying.

KING HERCULEZ

The amusing thing is that in the above photos, LL easily looks the gayest of the two.

"architecture & design"

you want the best gay ripper, i'll give you the best goddamn gay ripper:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=W2NomJuAkoA