Newton Faulkner

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How would you most like this fat trustafarian twat to die?

http://www.cityshowcase.co.uk/upimages/bios/NEWTON%20FAULKNER%2036%20VIRGIN.jpg

Poll Results

Option	Votes
Angry hippo	4
Dreads caught in bus wheel	4
Busking tour of downtown Basra	3
Massive Heart Attack	2
Sew asshole closed etc etc	1
Some sort of super-virus that makes your nob drop off	1
Drowned in pig shit	0
Beaten to death with guitar	0
Beaten to death with drumkit	0

― Noodle Vague, Sunday, 5 August 2007 15:44 (eighteen years ago)

I gone with angry hippo meself.

― Noodle Vague, Sunday, 5 August 2007 15:44 (eighteen years ago)

Where is the hate people? :(

― Noodle Vague, Sunday, 5 August 2007 18:12 (eighteen years ago)

I woke up this morning unaware of Newton Faulkner. Then I had a look at the new album chart, and thought, who is this, this Faulkner. I went to his website and heard his sound. Now I hate life.

I didn't read his bio but I guess he is the son of the guy from the Spin Doctors (Alexi Lalas) and one of Nizlopi. Good luck to him until he is claimed by jaws of hippo.

― John Allison, Monday, 6 August 2007 19:10 (eighteen years ago)

who is this bloke? never heard of him, is he a Virgin Radio / Q magazine favourite?

Currently Top of the 6 Music Chart
http://www.bbc.co.uk/6music/shows/chart/chart_page.shtml

― djmartian, Monday, 6 August 2007 20:17 (eighteen years ago)

saw his advert on telly last night and rather struck by the combination of sounds and visuals I managed to remember to google him later

googling the longpigs today I discover that the crispin hunt who has I think cowritten most of his album is the same crispin hunt as the crispin hunt from the long pigs

bus wheel

― RJG, Monday, 6 August 2007 20:24 (eighteen years ago)

Based on the songs on his myspace profile, he is the British Jason Mraz.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Monday, 6 August 2007 20:38 (eighteen years ago)

Just from that picture he has to die. HMV instore! Or is it Virgin? Virgin I think.

― Matt #2, Monday, 6 August 2007 20:50 (eighteen years ago)

Sam Newton Battenberg Deutoronomy Faulkner (born January 11, 1985 in Surrey, England) is a British musician.

― RJG, Monday, 6 August 2007 22:40 (eighteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

― ILX System, Wednesday, 8 August 2007 23:01 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aPPwOLhUts

Closing statement for the prosecution.

― Noodle Vague, Thursday, 9 August 2007 20:58 (eighteen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

― ILX System, Thursday, 9 August 2007 23:01 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.euronet.nl/users/arold/kenhippo.jpg

― Noodle Vague, Thursday, 9 August 2007 23:05 (eighteen years ago)

We need proportional representation

― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 9 August 2007 23:07 (eighteen years ago)

aw, fucking hell. i really, really like "dream catch me". and hate myself for it.

― grimly fiendish, Thursday, 16 August 2007 21:43 (eighteen years ago)

Singer-songwriter Newton Faulkner has hit the top spot in the UK album chart, confirming him as one of this year's hottest new artists.

― Herman G. Neuname, Sunday, 26 August 2007 19:39 (eighteen years ago)

eleven months pass...

I saw footage of this tw@t at V Festival = woeful.

― mmmm, Tuesday, 19 August 2008 14:28 (seventeen years ago)

Based on the songs on his myspace profile, he is the British Jason Mraz.

-- kingkongvsgodzilla, Monday, August 6, 2007 4:38 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Link

Except Mraz looks good.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Tuesday, 19 August 2008 14:33 (seventeen years ago)

seven years pass...

fuck this guy

― Merdeyeux, Sunday, 6 September 2015 01:19 (ten years ago)

I'm confused by the description of Newton Faulkner as 'fat'. He isn't fat.

― soref, Sunday, 6 September 2015 01:28 (ten years ago)

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