World's Nastiest Drinks?

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On Blue Lines today you'll have read all about the mighty cider armadillo. Has it any rival in terms of 'exotic' i.e. horrible alcoholic drinks? For all our sakes, I pray not.

― Tom, Wednesday, 18 October 2000 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The Devil's Punchbowl, a hideous and criminal concotion composed of: cider, white wine, and blackcurrant (Ribena for preference). You may add any white drink that you happen to find lying around, including Taboo. In its pure form this drink will cause you to roll into a small ball (involuntarily) and lie there groaning for a full day. However, I will concede that it lacks the, er, class and style of the armadillo (which is a wonder to behold.

― Catherine, Wednesday, 18 October 2000 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh, my. My friend is a champion at coming up with horrible things you realize the next day you shouldn't ever drink -- and he's pretty good with naming them, too. The Retirement Home Piss is a combination of Surge and amaretto. The Oxymoron is Southern Comfort and Sobe Wisdom. The Doctor Dew is Jack Daniels and Mountain Dew. The Screaming Lemur is spiced rum and Tab.

― Nick Mark, Wednesday, 18 October 2000 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I really don't know what you'd call it, but one night me and my girlfriends made a cocktail consisting of "What We Have In The Cabinet". This consisted of Riesling wine, Kahlua, Alize (for UKers, Alize is some filthy disgusting ghetto wine that has fruit in it), and Blackhaus. I have NO IDEA what convinced us that adding Kahlua to this mix would be a profitable and fun excursion. Still, we drank all of it. And one of them made it again another time, she grew a taste for it! It doesn't have a name, so I"m christening it Old Drunkard. It tastes far nastier than anything I've had in a bar.

― Carmen Miranda, Wednesday, 18 October 2000 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In a similar vein to the Cider A, I give you Whidar. Take one pint of shit cider, drink about an inch, fill up with White Horse whisky, add a drop of blackcurrant and you have it: the most disgusting and alarmingly potent drink known to man. The freaky thing about it is that you can't actually taste the whisky, it just makes the cider taste even more like cider and hence even more disgusting than usual.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Wednesday, 18 October 2000 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't know if this particular concoction has a name, but my cousin once made me a drink that consisted of Bud Light and Bacardi Limon.

No, I don't know why I drank it. I think it was an attempt to be "down". Never again *shudder*.

― Dan Perry, Wednesday, 18 October 2000 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Aside from Manhattans/Martinis and your basic highballs, I've never understood the appeal of mixed drinks to begin with. I've heard of these things like "The Three Wise Men" (jack, beam, and, maybe, cuervo? and then the four horsemen if you add something else maybe Johnnie Walker) and that just seems like a way to ruin things that taste perfectly wonderful on their own (and an incredible waste of money). And all the fruit juice and shit is just a one way ticket to waking up with rainbow-colored puke all over your pillow, followed by the worst hangover imaginable. The silliest thing I've ever drunk (aside from straight lab ethanol, and maybe absinthe which is a ripoff in every conceivable way) is the "Prarie Fire", which is 151 rum mixed with tobasco sauce. I have drunk plenty of nasty beers (prefer them, actually)...Milwaukee's Best is definitely the worst of the worst.

― Kris P. Everywhere (when he's drunk), Wednesday, 18 October 2000 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My bet is that for short sharp, erm, shock-value, nothing beats Aftershock, and evil cough-syrup type drink with some horrendous alcohol content. (And one with which Tom, and several other readers of FreakyTrigger who may have had the misfortune to drink at length with me, will be too familiar) Tradition prescribes holding the fiery liguid in your mouth for 40 seconds before swallowing, which stings like hell. But makes the subsequent swallow seem like heaven by comparison.

Much the same effect can be had from holding Cointreau in your mouth before swallowing, but that demands at least TWO MINUTES to reach the equivalent of 40 seconds of aftershock horror.

Moreover, there's a particularly grim layered spirit shooter to be found in Bar Kohl in Edinburgh (and possibly elsewhere) called an Afterburner, which is a layer of Aftershock and a layer of high-octane Polish vodka on top. Mmm.

Writing that has just made me feel strangely thirsty...

― alex thomson, Thursday, 19 October 2000 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Disgusting and thoroughly pointless - I'll throw into the mix The Reverse Shandy. It being much like a normal shandy : for it is Lemonade and Lager. However the Lemonade is Alcoholic (Two Dogs is best) and the Beer is not. So its Kaliber and Two Dogs. Takes ages to get you pissed, stupid, tastes foul.

Its a good drink to order girls.

As is Baileys and Coke. Its a bit like a Coke Float. But more of a Coke flaky bits.

― Pete, Friday, 20 October 2000 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Evil, evil cocktail, everytime I have it I nearly break an ankle!

French 76: shot of gin, and cointreau in a tall glass topped up with champagne..nasty

― Mathilde, Tuesday, 24 October 2000 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Invented on the day that Australia was introduced to the GST (Goods & Services Tax) is the GST slammer. A base of kaluha, topped with advocat with GST written in kaluha on the top. truly disgusting. Also nominate Black Russian Rapes Italian Monk (black russian with dash of frangelico) and Cherry Bounty (everything chocaltely and creamy in liquor cabinet mixed with malibu and cherry advocat). Good Lord, was I ill.

― Kylie, Monday, 6 November 2000 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

three weeks pass...

An Absolut Bastard aka three-quarters of a bottle of frozen vodka between three, following a wedding present bottle of champagne.

― Kate McGhee, Monday, 27 November 2000 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Fair comment. How about the Ribena Tequila? It does exactly what it says on the label. Dilute to taste.

Speaking of dilution, the worst mixer is surely tap water. Glenfilth (i.e. £3.99 duty free whisky) and tap water is poor. Pernod and tap water is worse.

― John, Wednesday, 29 November 2000 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two weeks pass...

The State I Am In, it's Tigermilk wine, introduced to whisky and gin. It came to Bowlie with us and came back with us too. It looked like piss. Later on in the year it came to an indian restaurant in Oxford, where some people actually drank of the now vintage brew. It tasted like piss. I believe it was left behind in the restaurant. A 2 litre bottle, filled with what looked suspiciously like an elephant's urine sample, instead of a tip. Good thing I've not been back there since.

― lixi, Monday, 18 December 2000 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Anything involving anise (licorice-flavoured) liquor or similar (absenthe, etc)

― Jimmy Mod, Monday, 18 December 2000 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one month passes...

For me, the only good mixed drinks involve gin. I'll take beer over any mixed drink, though. And in response to the above comment about anise-flavored liquor, I must admit I've always had a special place in my heart for Jaegermeister. You can stop laughing at me now.

Also, I can't believe no one's mentioned the "cement mixer" yet--a shot of lime juice mixed with a shot of irish cream..drink fast while it curdles..truly disgusting.

The Ribena tequila sounds absolutely vile. I also nominate any drink made with Bovril. I never understood Bovril, but maybe that's because I'm not British.

― geeta dayal, Tuesday, 6 February 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Its mad dogg 20-20 mixed with boones farm wine. they make it in the apartment upstairs. i guess they get drunk off it but im sayin, how you gonna mix those 2 drinks.

― SHimmy Yah, Wednesday, 7 February 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

three weeks pass...

I've got to nominate the 'Superlagers'. Foul: Carlsberg Special Brew (9%) Fouler: Tennants Super (9%) Foulest: Bavaria 8.6 (8.6%) These beers are morally wrong.

― Jonathan Stainer, Thursday, 1 March 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Easy One. Mr Kevan Cooke's exotic fruit cocktails at Bowlie. Just about took my bloody throat off...

― Ally C, Thursday, 1 March 2001 01:00 (twenty-four years ago)

five months pass...

Oh god. This one is far worse than any prarie fire out there. Its called a PURE HELL. And its 151, Bourbon, and as much tabasco sauce as you can fit in the glass.

― Chris Loewen, Friday, 31 August 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two months pass...

i cant believe noone mentioned everclear. we have a drink we call the sour tourch. the most vile thing i have ever ingested.2 parts everclear, 1 part tobasco with a dash of lemon juice. its not so much a drink as a torture test.we make bets to see who can drink the most. its a miserable way to make money. it burns like hell all the way through. and enough of the everclear can leave u bleeding. i dont know whos sick twisted mind came up with this but i wish id never heard of it. the hangover is a relief because u realize ur gona live. but we always do it again

― jim mitchell, Wednesday, 7 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Anything with gold flakes.

― Sterling Clover, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Cheap absinthe with cranberry juice, with a greek olive in it

― Lord Custos, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

white russionas are awful. in fact i find any creamy/milky/alcohol concoction disgusting

― g, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I never yet as fancy as all the colorful, umbrella-style drinks.

To me, Budweiser is nasty enough - why push it?

― Dave225, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Not really "exotic", but Pete's Wicked Ale tastes like (what I imagine) a combo of Brussel Sprouts juice and dishwater.

― Brian MacDonald, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Occaisonaly, my friends and I have a 'shit mix' party - everyone brings a bottle of booze, and it all gets dumped in a big punch bowl. Then we drink it. Not too suprisingly, it's often vile - especially when some clown brings something like Baja Rosa (tequila + strawberry milk) to add to the bowl.

On the non-alcoholic side of things, the first time I had bubble tea I thought it was absolutely vile. I tried it again the next day, and was hooked from then on. Now it's my favorite thing to drink - those gooey little balls of snot, yummmmmm. Anyone ever been to mainteahouse in Vancouver? Best bubble tea ever.

― daniel, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

not really a proper drink but in a drunken self pitying stupour after my ex gfriend dumped me at our house karaoke party i was heading for oblivion in a big attention seeking "look at me" partly embodied by my drinking galliano, kuhlua and tomato ketchup in the same glass. i fell asleep on the toilet that evening.

― bob snoom, Thursday, 8 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Four words: Admiral Nelson's Spiced Rum. That is the most god-awful drink ever created. Only bums and college students that are forced to drink it would ever do so. It just is the worst.

― Mick, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The Irish Car Bomb. You need half a pint of Guinness and a shot of Bailey's. Drop the shot, glass and all, into the half-pint and CHUG the mix quickly, so as not to actually taste the drink or give it time to curdle.

This drink was introduced to me by my friend Chris in a terribly potent session at the Triple Rock in Minneapolis. A few months later I was visiting New York for work and told Nick Mo-mess about this drink and GASP! he wanted one. We had to go to several bars. But none of the barmen would do it. Wussies.

― suzy, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...

For a disgustingly potent cocktail, try cheap sherry mixed with Carlsberg Special Brew - one of the few cocktails involving lager - the choice of a new generation! And I can't believe nobody has mentioned the immortal "Gorilla Phlegm", a vile combination of Creme de Menthe with Baileys Irish Cream - the bloody thing congeals and hence earns its disgusting name.

― chris rogers, Monday, 31 December 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Nastiest drinks? That'd be Zombie. I can't remember having it. My friends claim I did. Then there's the night I drank two pitchers of american beer. Yes, american beer. I still hear stuff I did that night that I can't remember.

― helenfordsdale, Tuesday, 1 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

At my preferred football pub, evil experiments with absinthe is where it's currently at. The worst one so far is probably "haisommer" (literally "shark summer", and the Norwegian title of the film "Jaws"), consisting of about two parts absinthe and one part cod's liver oil, served in a shot glass and downed in one.

― OleM, Tuesday, 1 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one part vanilla soy milk, one part vodka. i call it 'modelling clay'.

― ethan, Tuesday, 1 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two weeks pass...

This drink is apparently well known. It's called the Abortion. Take a shot glass full of vodka and add a very heavy dash of tabasco sauce to it. You really have to have some hair on your chest to take that one.

― Bob Barker, Thursday, 17 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

so only men can have Abortions!

i'll get my.. ok, who stole it?

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 17 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The Devil made Aftershock from his hands and gave it to man, saying take and drink...and it totally screws you up. It tastes sweet like fireballs, but has an 80 proof kick. THe aforementioned afterburner is no match to a straing shot of aftershock....i've had seven, and need to go to class in the morning...good luck to that.

― Adam Too-Young-To-Drink, Wednesday, 23 January 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

the nastiest frink is a D.R.P. = Dr.Pepper + Jack Daniels...oh my god , drank a liter of the shit ans i have no idea my cuosin said i ripped the backboard off of his hoop , Nope don't remember hahahhaahahahaha i dare u all to try it..... and to all u fuckin pussies who can't handle Aftershock its the shit ...or try Dr. Mcguillicidies mmm yummy , y try the D.R.P and see what u think

― LUCAS-OH GOD I NEED A HIT...of weed, Monday, 4 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Gorilla Snot

1 shot of Irish Cream 1 shot of Port

it curdles in your mouth and is all nasty:(

― alan nelson, Thursday, 7 February 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...

I like to call this drink the vomitator. 2 parts bacardi 151, 1 part cream, and a whole bunch of salt. I bought my brother a shot of this for his birthday and he puked all over the table.

― Jeff Sorensen, Saturday, 23 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

For me, the worst is just drinking whiskey straight up. My god, there are lots of godawful tasting alcoholic concoctions out there. Now how about the world's tastiest drinks?

― patrick, Saturday, 23 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I wrote: At my preferred football pub, evil experiments with absinthe is where it's currently at.

Post-Olympic update: Recent inventions include the "Mühlegg" -- absinthe + raw egg.

― OleM, Sunday, 24 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

six months pass...

By far the WOSRT things out there are the "urine Sample" and a "Mat Shot".....The Urine Sample consist of equil parts beer and tequila lots of salt and then MICROWAVED to 98.6 Degrees....Yummm...........The Mat Shot is as simple as it sounds....ring out the bar mat in a shot glass.......equally as evil!

― CDS, Friday, 4 October 2002 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Surfer On Acid

dark beer
1/3 oz amaretto
1/3 oz Kahlúa
1/3 oz Bacardi 151

Fill a beer mug 3/4 full with beer. Layer amaretto, Kahlúa and 151 proof rum (in that order) into a shot glass. Light shot on fire and drop into beer mug. Chug down quickly.

― gygax!, Friday, 4 October 2002 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

thats a really great name, it makes me want to drink your cocktail

― boxcubed (boxcubed), Friday, 4 October 2002 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Belgian Speedball:

1 part Nyquil
1 part Mountain Dew
1 part Jagermeister

― hstencil, Friday, 4 October 2002 21:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Silver Nipple:

1 part vodka
1 part sambuca

Gets you drunk quickly, but will result in one of the worst hangovers ever.

― Mike Appelstein (mike a), Friday, 4 October 2002 23:21 (twenty-two years ago)

One night my roommate and I were mixing drinks without mixers (we had none). Instead of something one might like, we created: Secrets Man Was Not Meant To Know: Very equal parts: Bacardi 151, Mustard, Barbecue Sauce, and Salt. Mix until smooth. Drink. He kept his down; I threw up. This drink's a perfect way to stop a drunk from drinking any more. Without a doubt it's worse than all I've heard of before or since.

― Kyle R. Hofmann, Sunday, 6 October 2002 04:48 (twenty-two years ago)

one month passes...

I call this creation "Hell's Asshole". It is a dreadful combo of 1 oz Bacardi 151 and 1 oz Everclear. Take as a shot and the next day remember "pain is weakness leaving the body" as you are curled up on the floor.

Also another one for the books is called "Bloody Hachet Wound". A charming mixture of strawberry slimfast, jager, vodka, hawian punch, bacardi O and grenidine. This drink is only explained by drunken stupidity.

― Heather NLeonard, Monday, 25 November 2002 22:00 (twenty-two years ago)

the 'bloody hatchet wound' sounds totally awful, dude.

hey check it my first ilx post up above!! i think. almost two years ago, now.

― geeta (geeta), Monday, 25 November 2002 22:07 (twenty-two years ago)

The only mixer I can remember making is one christened 'Liquid Death' this consisted of cider can't remember if was Strongbow or Frosty Jack, Smirnoff Vodka, Tennents Lager and Don Simone red wine,which is the most rank tasting wine in the world, all poured into a pint glass. Can't remember the exact measurements. As could be expected it was really really foul.

― fractal (fractal), Monday, 25 November 2002 22:38 (twenty-two years ago)

bovril tastes good when mixed into a strawberry marshmallow fluffy, geeta

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 25 November 2002 22:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh fantastic, now I can get rid of all that strawb slimfast, thanks!

― g.cannon (gcannon), Monday, 25 November 2002 22:52 (twenty-two years ago)

mark, i'm starting to become convinced that you subsist entirely on some marmibovrella concoction. (again, this might be part of the reason why i luv you.)

creatures from the deep!! creatures from the deeeep!!!

― geeta (geeta), Monday, 25 November 2002 23:17 (twenty-two years ago)

In college I had access to a fully stocked bar and a group of deranged friends who took great pleasure in mixing the most noxious alcoholic concoctions known to man and daring each other to drink them. Most of the funniest ones involved meat or meat byproducts as mixers: tuna colada, A-1 steak shake, gravytini (gravy with a splash of vermouth), and nam planter's punch (a fruity rum drink with a shot of nam pla, which is a Vietnamese fish sauce). And then there was the Phillips Head Screwdriver: OJ and vodka with a float of milk of magnesia.

But perhaps the nastiest drink that ever came out of that era of my life was the simplest to make: ouzo and blue food coloring, dubbed "Blouzo". By itself, ouzo is terribly nasty, but combining its smell with making it look like a bottle of Windex ups the grossness quotient to "instant gag reflex".

― Nick Mirov (nick), Monday, 25 November 2002 23:51 (twenty-two years ago)

tuna colada is a great band name (in the one-off band name variety)...

it almost sounds musical...

― gygax!, Tuesday, 26 November 2002 00:10 (twenty-two years ago)

while I don't drink anything mixed these days, my friend was roped into drinking several rounds of "root beer floats" a few days ago..

apparently it is bud light with a shot of root beer schnapps dropped into it. It sounds completely vile.

― webcrack (music=crack), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 01:04 (twenty-two years ago)

The 3 Wise Men doesn't go down especially smooth. I'm starting to like it, though.

1 oz. Jack Daniels
1 oz. Johnny Walker
1 oz. Jose Cuervo

all in a big shot glass, taken at once.

― Helltime Producto (Pavlik), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 04:23 (twenty-two years ago)

scope

― Bruce Urquhart (Bruce Urquhart), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 04:28 (twenty-two years ago)

a shot, equal parts jim beam and soy sauce

enjoy!

― andrew c (andrew), Tuesday, 26 November 2002 05:26 (twenty-two years ago)

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