-One, Two, FIVE! (Three sir) Right, Three!

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Have you ever noticed a "countoff" that doesn't count anything off? Or that isn't 1-2-3-4?

Examples I can think of:
"Ah One, Two. One, Two, Four" - Games Without Frontiers
"Keep Me Hangin On" - Vanilla Fudge - counts 1,2,3,4 - but there is no change in the cacophony
"1-2-Fuck You!" - Plasmatics
"12XU" - Wire

― Dave225, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Bonus points for a Ramons song that counts off, but not "ONETWOTHREEFOUR"

― Dave225, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

cue deedee: EinZweiDreiVeir!

― fritz, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

in Stockhausen's helikopter-quartett.

― Sterling Clover, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Easy -- Def Leppard, "Rock of Ages," as sampled by them Offspring.

"Unten lieden louten loben!"

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

3-5-0, 1-2-5 go!

(at least i think that's how it goes.)

― quiet, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I fucking love it when the Ramones count off a song "onetwothreefo!" in a tempo that has nothing to with the actual song and then come in right anyway.

― Jordan, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"One! Two! Fuck! School!" sayeth Boss Hog.

― bnw, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"1-2-3-4-5-6!" Jonathan Richman, "Roadrunner"

― Nate Patrin, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Five-five-FIVE!" -- FZ.

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ahhhhhhh buckle my shoe!

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

in the girls guitar club song vintage store, mary lynn rajskub counts it down 'five, four, three, two, one...' right into a false start. then after confirming that it does not start with a D chord, they start again and she counts it down 'five, four, yeah...' it's funny. if you have not experienced the girls guitar club, check out their short film first, especially if you have the bandwidth.

― Ron, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I thought this was going to be about me, for a moment.

Eagan contends that counting is lamer than spelling out words in songs, but I think spelling is worse.

― 1 1 2 3 5, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

...six, five, alive is the boy in the..BOX!

― static, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Boredoms have done this a few times--my favorite is the beginning of "Pop Kiss," where they all solemnly intone "1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4," then wait a few seconds and play something in a completely different tempo.

Maybe too canonical to remember: the Beatles' "Taxman."

― Douglas, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Sting's needless and needlessly maudlin "one.....two.......three.....four.....five......six" in the Police's "Invisible Sun."

― Alex in NYC, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

UNO DOS SUZI QUATRO!

My friend Joe and I used to count out songs like this. I can't remember if we stole it from somewhere or came up with it ourselves.

― Arthur, Thursday, 25 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

There was some Melissa Ethridge (I think) song where she's playing an acoustic guitar & singing with no accompanyment & she counts off at the end of the bridge before the last verse. Why? Maybe so people singing along at home can keep time...?

― Dave225, Friday, 26 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Blue Oyster Cult, "Seven Screaming Diz-Busters" - he counts up to seven and the song ends right there

― dave q, Friday, 26 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

200 Bars!

― Jeff W, Friday, 26 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

My sister did an interview with bassist Jan Müller of Hamburg lo-fi group Tocotronic. When asked to provide a station ID he counted down: "drei - vier - zwei - eins - Hallo,..."

― Yves, Friday, 26 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Squeeze, 'Frank'.

― the pinefox, Friday, 26 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The 39 lashes from Jesus Christ Superstar (a band I saw busted out into that once and it was pure hilarity). I like when the Boredoms counted out for awhile in "Telehorse Uma". And "one two fuck you" is classic. So is the intermittent stick-clicking in "Kid A". And countdowns at the end of a song are good (I can only think of the acoustic guitar tapping at the end of "Easy Company" from gastr del sol).

― Gilgamesh, Friday, 26 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Offspring - Uno dos tres quatro cinco cinco seis.
Cornelius has a song on a Matador sampler that repeats 1 2 3 4 5 6 throughout.

― nickn, Friday, 26 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

beginning of 'soul mining' album by the the: "10, 9, 8...6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1..zero!" cue pounding early 80's drums.

no number 7 - odd that. superstition on matt johnson's behalf ? perhaps. spookily, there's only 7 tracks on the album...

― piscesboy, Monday, 29 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i would like to amend my answer. it should read "nnnnnnnnn buckle my shoe". thank you.

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 29 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

One that doesn't, but then does:

"One, two, one two three four... Hold it... Now!"

Wax, Building A Bridge To Your Heart.

― harveyw, Monday, 29 April 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"One-two-ha-ha-HA!" Bonham (can't remember the name of the song)

"One-two-three-two-two-three..." Robert Fripp (off of King Crimson's Islands)

― Joe, Wednesday, 1 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one year passes...

Eminem, "Cum On Everybody":

"Testing, testing, one, two, um... twelve"

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 18:05 (twenty-one years ago)

nickn -- That Cornelius song is called "Count"

― christoff (christoff), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Acid King covered that "39 Lashes" song. It was pretty good. Kinda sounded like Corrupted - if only they'd done it in Spanish!

― Phil Freeman (Phil Freeman), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 18:15 (twenty-one years ago)

David Bowie - It's No Game (one, two, one, two, two, three)
Queens of the Stone Age - I Was A Teenage Hand Model (one, two, five, nine)
Radiohead - Where I End And You Begin (after the first verse, there's a count of 4, 5, 6, 7)
There was also some mid-nineties song that had a chorus that went "one, two, three, five". I never found out who it was by.

― Schwingung (Damian), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Björk, "107 Steps": '31, 35, 38, 42, 48... (etc)'

― The Lex (The Lex), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:03 (twenty-one years ago)

it's not an intro, but it cerainly gets you goin:
4...3...2...1..Earth below us, Drifting falling, Floating weightless, Calling calling home...

― Felcher (Felcher), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

Easy -- Def Leppard, "Rock of Ages," as sampled by them Offspring.
"Unten lieden louten loben!"

-- Ned Raggett (ne...) (webmail), April 25th, 2002 2:00 AM. (link)

That was DEF LEPPARD??? Holy shiiiit.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Saturday, 10 December 2005 17:56 (nineteen years ago)

Almost half of The Three Johns' "The King Is Dead (Long Live The King)" is a failed countdown.

― Myke Weiskopf (Myke Weiskopf), Saturday, 10 December 2005 18:26 (nineteen years ago)

"Alpha, beta, gamma, hubbadubba" -Gong

I found the other thread on this topic by searching "hubbadubba".

― Paul Eater (eater), Saturday, 10 December 2005 23:48 (nineteen years ago)

The Zappa example upthread is bullshit, but he did count off "RDNZL" on one record with "One, one, one, one --".

― I do feel guilty for getting any perverse amusement out of it (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 10 December 2005 23:59 (nineteen years ago)

Boards of Canada - Aquarius

― Bobby Peru (Bobby Peru), Sunday, 11 December 2005 04:27 (nineteen years ago)

uno dos tres...catorce!

― musically (musically), Sunday, 11 December 2005 07:52 (nineteen years ago)

Laffing at Bobby. SIXTYTEN!!!

― Falling down the stairs again (noodle vague), Sunday, 11 December 2005 08:00 (nineteen years ago)

Sugar Plum Fairy, Sugar Plum Fairy...

― mzui (mzui), Sunday, 11 December 2005 10:40 (nineteen years ago)

there's a cumbrian band count in to their songs with "yan tan tethera", i can't remember their name but it's something like a goat and a helicopter or a scientist and a ship.

― emsk ( emsk), Sunday, 11 December 2005 13:37 (nineteen years ago)

it's the witch and the robot.

― emsk ( emsk), Sunday, 11 December 2005 13:43 (nineteen years ago)

Strange, I was just discussing Zappa with a friend a moment ago.

― Halloween Spooky Party Hints! (Bimble...), Sunday, 11 December 2005 14:05 (nineteen years ago)

Millencolin live: Nine, Ten, Swe-den!

― le hague, Monday, 12 December 2005 00:33 (nineteen years ago)

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 Captain Scarlet!

Siouxsie and the Banshees, from the Track Rehearsals 7"

― Niall, Monday, 12 December 2005 00:45 (nineteen years ago)

Ween's "Wayne's Pet Youngin'" counts up to like, 26.

― Whiney G. Weingarten (whineyg), Monday, 12 December 2005 02:27 (nineteen years ago)

Can anyone tell me what the thread title references? I think it's a movie and it is just killing me trying to figure it out.

― sleeve (sleeve), Monday, 12 December 2005 06:56 (nineteen years ago)

Isn't it from the Holy Handgrenade scene in Monty Python and The (Quest for the?) Holy Grail?

― nancyboy (nancyboy), Monday, 12 December 2005 11:03 (nineteen years ago)

Not in the intro this either, but: "One, two, three, seventeen, forty-two" from Colin Newman's "Truculent Yet".

― The Vintner's Lipogram (OleM), Monday, 12 December 2005 11:26 (nineteen years ago)

fourteen, twenty-five, fourty, ninety-eight
--Jerry Lee Lewis "Rockin My Life Away"

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Monday, 12 December 2005 11:39 (nineteen years ago)

ONE! AND A TWO! AND A BABALA BOO BOO YEAH!!!!

(Um, Marc Bolan, forget which one)

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 12 December 2005 11:43 (nineteen years ago)

Jesus Christ I was gonna start a thread with this very topic just last week! Can't believe TWO of 'em already exist.

Anyways, I nominate the Beatles' "I Saw Her Standing There": "One, two, three, FUCK!" (according to Greil Marcus.)

Also, I remember once on "The Gong Show" a band coming out with all their instruments & just standing poised, ready to play while the singer counted off "1, 2, 3, 4," then continued "...5, 6, 7, 8, 9..." etc. Can't remember how high he counted before the panel got the point & GONGED 'em.

― Myonga Von Bontee (Myonga Von Bontee), Monday, 12 December 2005 15:41 (nineteen years ago)

"One, two, you know what to do"

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 12 December 2005 15:43 (nineteen years ago)

Yes, it is Monty Python. Thank you.

― sleeve (sleeve), Monday, 12 December 2005 21:25 (nineteen years ago)

Ween's "Wayne's Pet Youngun" counts up to 30, I think.

― Fearless Dawg, Monday, 12 December 2005 22:04 (nineteen years ago)

Todd Rundgren does an intentionally wrong count-off but I can't remember the song. I think it's on Something/Anything.

― nickn (nickn), Monday, 12 December 2005 22:12 (nineteen years ago)

It's on Runt - you are thinking of "Baby Let's Swing". :)

― Deluxe (Damian), Monday, 12 December 2005 23:30 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, maybe there is one on Something/Anything? too - but there definitely is a "1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 5" on "Baby Let's Swing".

― Deluxe (Damian), Monday, 12 December 2005 23:39 (nineteen years ago)

There is a false countoff on Hello It's Me. And maybe something before Slut, I can't remember...

― D.I.Y. U.N.K.L.E. (dave225.3), Monday, 12 December 2005 23:40 (nineteen years ago)

MVB, that Marcus piece is my favorite writing on the Beatles.

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Tuesday, 13 December 2005 05:00 (nineteen years ago)

"1-2-3-4-5-6!" Jonathan Richman, "Roadrunner"

I'm almost four years too late to be pointing this out, but that DOES count in the song. The band crashes in for seven! eight! and then we're back around to the one again.

― Doctor Casino, Tuesday, 13 December 2005 05:14 (nineteen years ago)

I've said it before: Marcus is so much better when he's passionate, and when he sticks to MUSIC, and leaves out all that sociological/historical/philosophical/anythingatallical nonsense that ~~goes right over my head~~ has little, if anything, to do with the quality of the music, or lack thereof.

Oh, and: The Specials, "Little Bitch" - singer shouts "One, two!" at the very end of every refrain (only allowed half of the bar to himself, which is why he has no time to count higher than to two.

― Myonga Von Bourgeois (Myonga Von Bontee), Tuesday, 13 December 2005 06:06 (nineteen years ago)

Performing "Across The Universe" live on KCRW with Robyn Hitchcock, Grant Lee Phillips counts in "one, two, drowsy, three."

― Paul Eater (eater), Tuesday, 20 December 2005 22:59 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, and: The Specials, "Little Bitch" - singer shouts "One, two!" at the very end of every refrain

on the two and three, even!

― The Vintner's Lipogram (OleM), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 16:23 (nineteen years ago)

there's a song on prefab sprout's first album where he counts in 12345 12345 12345...... the song's in 4/4, but pretentiousness was in in them days

― Dr x O'Skellington, Wednesday, 21 December 2005 16:35 (nineteen years ago)

Gang of Four, "I Found That Essence Rare":
"One!"
"...One!"
"Two!"
"One..."
"TWO!"
"ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!"

Soft Boys, "Give It To The Soft Boys":
"Give it to the Soft Boys -- haHA! Take one!"
"One, two, great to be here!"
"Sure is! Three, four!"

― xero (xero), Wednesday, 21 December 2005 20:52 (nineteen years ago)

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