The Worst Song on Madonna's 'The Immaculate Collection'

Not a knock on the record at all as I think it's pretty uniformly great, and in most parts, unimpeachable. Hence the worst song poll, as I think it's more interesting to see what we ILMers choose to reject from this one. So have at it, y'all.

La Isla Bonita

^^^^^^^^

I really hate the "Like A Prayer" remix though; and it took years for me to warm to "Rescue Me."

I can't stand "Papa Don't Preach", so that gets it. "La Isla Bonita" runner-up.

"Borderline" - it's the most ordinary sounding of her early singles. Similarly, "Live To Tell".

Now see, I heard this compilation before I heard any of the original '80s albums, so the remixes don't bother me so much.

I love "La Isla Bonita" and have never gotten the ILM hate for it.

I vote for "Vogue", with "Express Yourself" a close second. I passionately hate both songs and both videos.

La Isla Bonita.

"Rescue Me," 'cause it's the only one that I don't love even a little bit.

"Borderline" - it's the most ordinary sounding of her early singles

Yeah – certainly my least favorite Madonna single.

I don't like "La Isla Bonita" and I've never been nuts about "Material Girl". So I'm torn.

Cherish, followed by La Isla Bonita.

"Papa Don't Preach" tempts, but "Isla" charted while I was at the worst job I ever had, so...

ha

haha, great poll. anyone who chooses 'live to tell' is copping a beating, because it's easily the best.

i went with 'borderline'.

Borderline does have those dentist's office vibes, but it gets good by the time she gets to keep-pushin-mes and the c'mon-babies.

"Cherish" is one of the worst songs ever recorded.

"Borderline" was the first Madonna song I heard on the radio; I wondered if it was a new Donna Summer single at the time. Don't ask me what I was on, 'cause to this day I couldn't tell you.

RONG DERE

indeed

The first four songs on the list are great, the last three are great, the ones in between are meh. But Cherish is the worst.

anyone who chooses 'live to tell' is copping a beating, because it's easily the best.

OTMFM!!

No one's voted for "Crazy For You"?????

These are all great except Rescue Me which is merely good.

the backing vocals on Crazy For You save it

"rescue me" bleh.

Fuck's sake, Borderline is great.

Open Your Heart & Express Yourself are the only truly shit things on the list.

fuck that! "Open Your Heart" is my favorite fast one.

http://philippengel.blogia.com/upload/Bunker5.jpg

Vogue.

Borderline is genius - possibly my fave Madge single.

"Crazy For You" is one of the best vocal performances she's ever done.

I am basically assuming that everyone repping for "Cherish" is wearing Hello Kitty underwear.

I knew it'd be a twee thing.

Cherish is great. I like Dear Jessie too. My underwear depicts Dan being impaled by a unicorn.

would've voted True Blue or The Look Of Love if they'd been on this - her two weakest 80s singles.

this is still the best greatest hits ever along with Discography and The Hits 1.

I love this album. You love this album. But you think La Isla Bonita is the worst and I think it's the best? Howzzat?

Anyway, Rescue Me is no good but Like a Prayer is poo.

Like a Prayer is the UNASSAILABLE PEAK of this album/madge's career/pop music.

Couldn't lose La Isla Bonita otherwise I'd never be able to sing "last night I dreamt of lumbago" and "young girls with eyes like potatoes" again.

Rescue me = worst

Cherist came really close

The rest of tops.

Borderline is Madonna's best song.

lol, Cherish

pure gold til "Rescue Me"

cherish!

"romeo and juliet/they never felt this way i bet" is worth something, but it's a bit cynical, oh hi here's a throwback teenage innocence vibe from... madonna? riiiight

how can anyone hate the express yourself video???

i hate la isla bonita the worst, but cherish and borderline and rescue me are all excellent choices as well.

I've always hated "Crazy for You" being that it's bullshit, saccharine schmaltz

I wrote this recently on The Immaculate Collection and "Crazy For You" in particular.

i'm voting 'la isla bonita' because my stupid chorus teacher in 7th grade made us sing that shit.

Lovely piece (comme d'hab), Soto. But we wanna know: HAVE you ever heard of such a thing as a gay man? :)

Yeah, good stuff, Alfred. No offence meant, but you always seem to do your best work when dealing explicitly with what can only be categorized as '80s artists/music (i.e., Madge, mid-decade Bruce, NO, etc).

So far, omar has the only valid reason for voting for "La Isla Bonita".

"cherish" is my fav madonna song i'll never get the hate

romeo and juliet!

I know I know

GIVE ME JOY
MAH BOY

herb ritts video also undeniably classic

Sometimes the way she sings "they never felt this way I bet" makes me tear up a bit

otm

i love how dense the programming feels, every instrumental phrase in the track is like an additional interlocking rhythm. it's like musical clockwork

also

who?
you!

“cherish” has enough good melodic ideas for about ten great songs. It’s like if early nineties Tori Amos had been ghostwriting pop hits.

"Cherish" is one of my favorite songs ever. Also "underestimate" = best use of a five-syllable word in a pop song (tied with "conditionally" in "Flesh Without Blood").

― geoffreyess, Friday, July 14, 2017 10:52 AM (eleven months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

La Isla Bonita is not even close to the worst?????

Rescue Me is the one forgettable song on the album so I'd vote for that.

Cherish is cutesy but a really tight and catchy track. The production has dated worse than Madonna's other songs... a little Wilson Phillips-esque.

"Cherish" is one of the worst songs ever recorded.

― HI DERE, Thursday, December 6, 2007 9:17 AM (ten years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is madness

otm on skip's whole post

tori amos would never record anything as glurgey as "cherish" and that includes during y kant tori read

is "Rescue Me" a Fontella Bass cover? if so it probably rules, but not remembering it is a bad sign

Cherish is hooks upon hooks upon hooks, Tim otm

I bet 'Cherish' is Pharrell's favourite Madonna song. 'So don't underestimate my point of view' is a great line to drop in a song like that.

The production has dated worse than Madonna's other songs... a little Wilson Phillips-esque.

― skip, Tuesday, July 3, 2018 11:50 PM (yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i've def said this on fifteen other madonna threads but for me it's scritti politti, feels like a distant cousin of "first boy in this town"

What does glurgey mean

is "Rescue Me" a Fontella Bass cover? if so it probably rules, but not remembering it is a bad sign

― droit au butt (Euler), Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Nope.

glurge, original definition https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/category/glurge-gallery/

Katherine otm then

Cherish is very good. I would have voted Borderline I think

also "cherish is the word I use to remind me of your love" is particularly dumb, it's not a fucking mnemonic

Should've said 'Cher-ish'.

Makes me happy that “Get Into the Groove” has zero votes (as it should).

I just heard "Rescue Me" for the first time in years -- it made me happy.

'Cherish' rules, and Tim F is undoubtedly OTM - the song is stuffed with an incredible amount of hooks, plus it's one of the those songs that I just find very uplifting - it captures a sorta "just fallen in love for what feels like the first time" kinda feeling really well.

The worst song here is the one that topped the poll.

The Tori song I was thinking of most was “Tear In Your Hand”, but there is no precise analogue - the main reason for the comparison is in how Tori used to have this thing of piling bridges and alternative choruses and counterpoint harmonies into the final minute or two of her songs in a manner that felt profligate as well as generous, kinda like the outro to Fleetwood Mac’s “Sara” only ostentatiously foregrounded.

On “Cherish” it starts with the “who/you” section and thereafter the song is wild ride of contrasting hooks. By the end you have four different melodic sections deliriously circling and splintering around each other like a kaleidoscope: a figment of the chorus (“cherish the faith” etc.), “can’t get where I won’t let you”, “your’re giving it, you’re giving it to me boy, keep giving me all your joy” and “give me faith, give me joy my boy, I will always cherish you” - somewhere between the simple perfection of the bridge-meets-chorus climax of “Baby One More Time”, the confusing maximalism of prime Xenomania and the rococo rush of interwoven detail of Tori’s “Father Lucifer”. It’s a masterclass. It also would be the perfect example of an “Under Pressure”-style “room with many doors” except for the fact that it feels too tight, too natural, too inevitable for that thought to occur to me while i’m listening to it.

Another thing I like this song is how it really capitalises on the topographical contours of a triplet / shuffle groove, the way that kind of groove really emphasises the addition and subtraction of elements (most prominently and typically pulsing basslines) to create the sensation of the song speeding up and slowing down (e.g. the way the “Who? You! Can’t get where I won’t let you” bridge seems to give the listener some rope and then sultrily pull you back into the groove). I can imagine Paramore earnestly studying this while they were making “Forgiveness”.

Finally, I like to imagine the idea that the very first lyrical idea for this song was the use of the phrase “perish the thought”, and then Madonna and Patrick simply built out from there. That prospect alone would be enough for me to love this song.

otm

master class

yet, you see, Madonna doesn't write her own material

you can have 1,000 hooks but if the song is insipid glurge they don't matter

Yeah the song is as difficult for me to get thru as that long post extolling its virtues (sorry everybody!)

like, at least something like "lucky star" has an edge to it

Pleased to see i’m winning the hearts and minds of ILX

(sorry man! couldn’t resist the low road)

you can have 1,000 hooks but if the song is insipid glurge they don't matter

― aloha darkness my old friend (katherine), Thursday, July 5, 2018 1:36 AM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yeah the song is as difficult for me to get thru as that long post extolling its virtues (sorry everybody!)

― i’m still stanning (morrisp), Thursday, July 5, 2018 1:40 AM (four hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrjwaqZfjIY

i'm just realizing the only version i've heard of Express Yourself for the last 30 years is the version from this album, upon putting on the original.

my god. I can't imagine listening to the Pettibone mix ever again.

The Pettibone remix is GARBAGE with a capital FUCK OFF

your original angry comments about it upthread were what just prompted me to do an A/B comparison lol

Haha lol I AM MAKING A DIFFERENCE

Into The Groove getting 0 votes might quietly be the most correct result from any ILXOR poll.

even in the inferior mix on TIC

Oh ok I had somehow never seen this, far out

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mQgGMAfKEU

I love Madonna's last album to play, write, and sing with a live band.

last night I dreamt of some bagels

^