New unofficial post-Stylus project needs writers

That email addy is kissoutthejams at gmail dot com.

Bump for attention.

Can Esteban Buttez apply???

let go

Come on.

I'm through with standing in line to clubs I'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth and I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out quite the way I want it to be

(Tell me what you want)

I want a brand new house on an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough for ten plus me

(mmm so what you need)

I'll need a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club at thirty-seven thousand feet

(Been there, done that)

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and James Dean is fine for me

(So how ya gonna do it?)

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair
And we'll, hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs so I can eat my meals for free

(I'll have a quesadilla, ha ha!)

I'm gonna dress my ass with the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to blow my money for me

(So how ya gonna do it?)

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses drivin' fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary of today's who's who
They'll get you anything, with that evil smile
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial
Well, hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar

I'm gonna sing those songs that offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills from a pez dispenser
Get washed-up singers writing all my songs
Lip sync 'em every night so I don't get 'em wrong

Well, we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary of today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial
Well, hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar
Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar

http://991.com/newGallery/Helen-Love-Long-Live-The-UK-356403.jpg

Dom, don't make me beg you to contribute

I just want to say right now that "Bump For Attention" is a great title, good job, guys.

im going to pitch my long awaited Cirith Ungol piece

Dom's review on Stylus of all the UK number 1's from 2000-2005(?) was one of the funniest things I'd ever read.

i can't read that until man like Ewing gets onto them in 2012

i'm laughing already at that Bob The Builder+Madison Avenue caption tho

"So, whilst this song helped transform Obie Trice into the multi-million selling household name he is today..."

http://www.stylusmagazine.com/images/articles/060410-2003-00.jpg

Yes, in retrospect I realise that the caption for this should have been "Single ladies: make noise", and nothing in my entire crit career am I more annoyed about.

The trouble with "Rise" by Gabrielle is that there isn't any kitchen sink; it was supposed to be her big comeback after House of Horror life events and she sings about rising again as though she were Nigella Lawson in the kitchen, refraining from sucking on the cake.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51RPHM23M7L._AA240_.jpg

neat, i really hope this pans out because that was my favorite stylus column

It's certainly going to pan out for at least three months so far, and the turnout's getting good, but keep sending pitches, people. Even tentative ones, if only to reassure me this venture won't stall for a good while.

I still say Dom only gave Rollin' 8/10 because it was the soundtrack to The Undertaker ridin' on his Glorious Python Bike!

In theory I might like to try to write one of these, but "shooting down an overrated album" is such a crank's task, especially in the internet age where there's really no album for which this hasn't already been done. And for similar reasons it's hard for me to think of an unchampioned non-obscure album I really like, although I suppose I could dig up my copy of Extreme - III Sides To Every Story and exaggerate a bit.

Maybe snort a few lines before listening/writing.

emailed you

I'd genuinely like to see Esteban's material on this.

bumpasaurus rex

we want moarz

Also, hurting 2, i know it's been done to death in bits and pieces, but usually spread across the 'net and not so often with finesse. We want to dedicate an entire concept to a well-posited canon from another planet.

BUMP

http://whatwasitanyway.blogspot.com