Every new release should have an instrumental version because I don't want to hear your voice singing things

Like, with the vocal melody played on a keyboard?

Or maybe a cello or clarinet?

A kazoo would be best.

someone should invent a thing that analyzes the frequencies of your voice, and allows you to superimpose them onto any other recorded vocal line so people can finally hear themselves singing all their favorite songs, but with the infections of the original singer. in fact, which way to the patent office?

Let's get to work on this pronto (clap clap!)

Oh wait, you were thinking of like karaoke mixes?

No, I want the cello melody thing.

Actually saying "karaoke mixes" kinda degrades the concept, but essentially, yes. Like the instrumental B side to a good single, but with the whole album. For example, I tried to listen to some of this Vampire Weekend thing, and I liked the music a lot but found the vocals to be an annoyance. Same with another recent suggestion; The Talking Heads Remain in Light (which also has an Afro-Beat rhythmic theme), but I found David Byrne's vox to be a distraction from otherwise pleasurable music. Is music broken for me?

so people can finally hear themselves singing all their favorite songs, but with the infections of the original singer. in fact, which way to the patent office?

joke about carlos D not being the singer goes here

still waiting for that instrumental Joanna Newsom lp...