I can see why he changed his name!

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Many musicians with ordinary, boring real names take new artist names just to sound cooler. But there's also a bunch of artists with real names so embarrassing you can totally understand why they assumed a pseudonym. Let's list those real names here:

Ice T - Tracy Morrow

Annie (from Norway) - Birger Djävlknull

Björk - Bóhätter Högmundkarlsdottír

Prince - Shawtesh Preck

Sting - Leonard Nimoy

Kate Bush - Catherine Vagina

Tuomas, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 09:20 (seventeen years ago)

are you alright?

jabba hands, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 09:22 (seventeen years ago)

Madonna Ciccone - Sharon Longstaff

moley, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 09:23 (seventeen years ago)

Tom Petty - Tuomas Petit

StanM, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 09:26 (seventeen years ago)

Bing Crosby- Bing Hitler

moley, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 09:26 (seventeen years ago)

assbring

W4LTER, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 09:28 (seventeen years ago)

David Bowie - Ben Dover-Anlick

Tuomas, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 09:28 (seventeen years ago)

Michael Jackson - Terrence Snordley

gr8080, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 09:54 (seventeen years ago)

Jay-Z - Jebbadiah Zachariah Housington III

gr8080, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 09:56 (seventeen years ago)

Ban Fake Tuomas!

Grandpont Genie, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 10:01 (seventeen years ago)

never ban any tuomas

gr8080, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 10:15 (seventeen years ago)

Ja Rule - Cuthbert Calculus

Sid Vicious - Siddhartha Woolly

Morrissey - Harry Hamburglar

Elvis Costello - Elvis Presley

Tuomas, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:10 (seventeen years ago)

Keith Sweat - Brian Sweat

ledge, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:11 (seventeen years ago)

Tina Arena - Palladium Stadium

ledge, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:12 (seventeen years ago)

The Kooks - The Anti Semites

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 11:12 (seventeen years ago)

Thom Yorke - Bonzo Fripatelli

Tuomas, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 15:33 (seventeen years ago)

Johnny Rotten - Danny Rotten

Tuomas, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 15:34 (seventeen years ago)

David Bowie - Peter Tork

Curt1s Stephens, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 15:39 (seventeen years ago)

Iggy Pop - Thelonius Pop

Thomas, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 15:40 (seventeen years ago)

Newton Faulkner - Keith Bottoms

blueski, Tuesday, 5 February 2008 15:44 (seventeen years ago)

two years pass...

Ice Cube - O'Shea Jackson
Sting - Boy O'Summer
Vanilla Ice - Andrew Aryan
Lady Gaga - Ladee Caca
Patti Smith - Patty Hearse
Kanye West - Ouagadougou East
Engelbert Humperdinck - Slade McCool

Tuomas, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 12:37 (fourteen years ago)

why the hell would anyone called SLADE MCCOOL change their name, huh?

purblind snowcock splattered (a hoy hoy), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 12:39 (fourteen years ago)

this thread owns

Princess TamTam, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 12:41 (fourteen years ago)

^^^just laughed solidly for like 2 mins

best poster with ten-letter single-word username (acoleuthic), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 12:43 (fourteen years ago)

Johnny Marr - Johnyy Marzbar

Mark G, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 12:43 (fourteen years ago)

cracking up here at "Catherine Vagina"

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 12:43 (fourteen years ago)

The Edge - David Howell Evans
Robyn - Shadwell Putz
Ms Dynamite - Rikki Snavely

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 12:46 (fourteen years ago)

Morrissey - Woe Esme

Mark G, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 12:48 (fourteen years ago)

Cerrone - Edgar Bon Jovi

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 12:49 (fourteen years ago)

Dee Dee Snider - Charles Esophagus

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 12:50 (fourteen years ago)

Cilla Black - Issy Wysiwyg
Ringo Starr - Donald Cake
Phil Anselmo - George Mummoon

What are you doing here? (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:02 (fourteen years ago)

Ciara - Fifi Greenblatt

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:04 (fourteen years ago)

Bono -Bongo

sonofstan, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:04 (fourteen years ago)

Elton John - Nodahl Kernwright

What are you doing here? (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:07 (fourteen years ago)

Ol' Dirty Bastard - Archibald Leach

Tuomas, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:07 (fourteen years ago)

Neil Young - Gary Geezer

Tuomas, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:08 (fourteen years ago)

Pink - Enid Schaffelstaff-Boeringer

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:09 (fourteen years ago)

Bez - Erik Castlemaine Shitehouse Gorilla Bong-Bong Delaney

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:10 (fourteen years ago)

Gary Numan - Lester Hickens

lookin qwyte (crüt), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:11 (fourteen years ago)

Akon - Coleen Nolan

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:13 (fourteen years ago)

Dr. Dre - Dr. Kildare

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:14 (fourteen years ago)

Frank Zappa - Irwin Merkin

e.g. delete via naivete (ledge), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:16 (fourteen years ago)

Lou Reed - L0uis J4gger

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:18 (fourteen years ago)

Bob Dylan - Nob Dylan

lookin qwyte (crüt), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:18 (fourteen years ago)

Slash - Piss

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:18 (fourteen years ago)

Axl Rose - William B. Egomaniac

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:19 (fourteen years ago)

No,

Axl Rose - Axel Ros

Tuomas, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:21 (fourteen years ago)

Momus - Rank Sticklin

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:21 (fourteen years ago)

Nivea - Jergins Hoff

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:22 (fourteen years ago)

Fish from Marillion is actually originally named Derek William Dick, so no wonder he changed his name....

Varg Vikernes was also not so content with his name, Kristian Vikernes. Yep, Kristian means Christian....

You're Twistin' My Melody Man! (Geir Hongro), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:26 (fourteen years ago)

Ralf Huetter - Handjob McFarlan

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:26 (fourteen years ago)

Otherwise...

Sophie Ellis-Bextor: Jane Smith
Joe Strummer: Landon Von Snickelgruben Mountbatten

You're Twistin' My Melody Man! (Geir Hongro), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:28 (fourteen years ago)

DMC - Daryl Hannah

irish xmas caek, get that marzipan inta ya (a hoy hoy), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:34 (fourteen years ago)

Bruce Springsteen - Jean-Sébastien de la Malle IV

iatee, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:38 (fourteen years ago)

Jah Wobble - Dis Vicious

Mark G, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:40 (fourteen years ago)

Jimi Tenor: Jukka Koskenkorva
Tarja Turunen: Saunaläinen Perkele

You're Twistin' My Melody Man! (Geir Hongro), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:43 (fourteen years ago)

Michael Bublé - Mikey Flakey-Skinrash Wristcramp Cokesucker VII

Les centimètres énigmatiques (snoball), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:47 (fourteen years ago)

stupid - Ladee Caca

I actually thought she failed pretty hard when I found out her real name was Stefani. If your first or last name is Stefani, you start out in Ska and then progress to Dance Pop and stupid. She's doing it wrong.

ILM Flipping - I Kelsey Grammered Your Thread (MintIce), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 13:51 (fourteen years ago)

Madonna - Beatrice Rotunda

What are you doing here? (dog latin), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 14:32 (fourteen years ago)

lady gaga

lookin qwyte (crüt), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 14:33 (fourteen years ago)

ok never mind I thought it was autocorrecting

lookin qwyte (crüt), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 14:34 (fourteen years ago)

Lady Gaga: Farrokh Bulsara

You're Twistin' My Melody Man! (Geir Hongro), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 16:34 (fourteen years ago)

Terrence Trent D'Arby - Hyundai Sonata

shanti ram emmanuel (corey), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 16:40 (fourteen years ago)

Stuart Murdoch - Sir Dr Johnny Destructor

Antoine Bugleboy (Merdeyeux), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 16:41 (fourteen years ago)

Mr. Fingers - Lawrence Fingers

shanti ram emmanuel (corey), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 16:41 (fourteen years ago)

Exene Cervenka - Fallopia Jones

shanti ram emmanuel (corey), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 16:45 (fourteen years ago)

Tim Allen - Spottiswoode Aitken

shanti ram emmanuel (corey), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 16:47 (fourteen years ago)

Debbie Gibson - Rathgar the Invicible

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 17:14 (fourteen years ago)

it was the misspelling that so galled her, you see

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 17:14 (fourteen years ago)

Ron Sexsmith - Don Sexsmith

lonely is as lonely does, lonely is an eeyore (unregistered), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 19:12 (fourteen years ago)

Aretha Franklin - Aretha Benjamins

tremendoid, Wednesday, 8 December 2010 20:23 (fourteen years ago)

Ja Rule - Cuthbert Calculus

lol

EIEIoOoOO (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Wednesday, 8 December 2010 20:38 (fourteen years ago)

Elizabeth Cotton - Wamsutta Percale

Hideous Lump, Thursday, 9 December 2010 03:01 (fourteen years ago)

Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan - Bernard Flaps

lonely is as lonely does, lonely is an eeyore (unregistered), Thursday, 9 December 2010 04:53 (fourteen years ago)

Ronnie Van Sant - Ralph Feldman
Gary Rossington - Blaine Houseman III
Allen Collins - Malik Usmani
Leon Wilkeson - Sally Channing
Artimus Pyle - Artimus Pyle
Billy Powell - Sir William Crooks

earlnash, Thursday, 9 December 2010 05:38 (fourteen years ago)

Freddie Mercury - Valentin Uranus

Tuomas, Thursday, 9 December 2010 07:10 (fourteen years ago)

Leigh Bowery - Sunshine Cuddly

RR, Thursday, 9 December 2010 07:24 (fourteen years ago)

Bruce Cockburn - Bruce Cockburn

unintentional boob pic (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 9 December 2010 07:28 (fourteen years ago)

Brian Eno - One Brain
Professor Griff - Izzy Griffowitz
Lydia Lunch - Chlamydia Lunch
Chuck D - Leroy Washington
Barry Gibb - Andy Gibb
Ted Nugent - Ted bin Laden
Keith Richard(s) - Keith Richard(s)
Cher Bono-Allman-Simmons-Samboro - Cher Slut

Canadian Club & Dr. Pepper (Myonga Vön Bontee), Thursday, 9 December 2010 08:37 (fourteen years ago)

Iggy Pop - Iggy Disco

Mark G, Thursday, 9 December 2010 09:27 (fourteen years ago)

Chas & Dave - Chas & David

unintentional boob pic (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 9 December 2010 10:10 (fourteen years ago)

Ben Fong-Torres - Ban Fake Tuomas

Hideous Lump, Friday, 10 December 2010 03:26 (fourteen years ago)

Ian Curtis - Cedric Weiner
Captain Sensible - Travis Sensible
Stiv Bators - Jack Manlove Jr.
Elvis Costello - Mohammed Akbar Alhusseini
Lou Barlow - Louis Wayne Rubios
Haddaway - Munenobu Shinozu

Lazarus Niles-Burnham (res), Friday, 10 December 2010 05:34 (fourteen years ago)

Genesis P-Orridge - Bernice Frankel

lookin qwyte (crüt), Friday, 10 December 2010 17:34 (fourteen years ago)

Bradford Cox - Chad Cocks

I will always think of you, while (quite) fondly, myself (Evan), Friday, 10 December 2010 21:44 (fourteen years ago)

Chris DeBurgh -Christy Burke

sonofstan, Saturday, 11 December 2010 00:01 (fourteen years ago)

three years pass...

http://www.clickhole.com/article/10-real-names-rappers-theyd-rather-you-didnt-know-545

Did these folks read my thread?

Tuomas, Friday, 18 July 2014 13:20 (ten years ago)

Though admittedly I got the idea from an old Volume compilation booklet.

Tuomas, Friday, 18 July 2014 13:22 (ten years ago)

one year passes...

Cher - Cherilyn Sarkesian

Kylie Minogue - Kylexandra Rastapopoulos

Cee-Lo - Ceeman Lova

Robyn - Ronja Rövardotter

Rod Stewart - Shaft Stewart

KRS-One - Robert van Winkle

Tuomas, Thursday, 24 March 2016 13:12 (nine years ago)

seven months pass...

Mr. Fingers - Lawrence Fingers

― shanti ram emmanuel (corey), 8. joulukuuta 2010 18:41 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

For some reason this is totally breaking me up.

Tuomas, Thursday, 17 November 2016 14:26 (eight years ago)


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