Gene Simmons Sex Tape (I am deeply, profoundly sorry)

You're not sorry at all.

I'm sorry I am behind a work firewall.

Are we sure this is kosher?

He looks like he's chewing gum for most of it...
I'm sure he's secretly making a ton of money off of it in the background.

I kind of want to delete humanity after seeing this.

Oh god now I've seen Gene Simmons knob.

If you watch this, Gene Simmons WINS

So, like, don't watch it

i wanna feel what love is, i know you can show me.

I was more offended by the sight of his asscrack. I was watching it through my fingers. Actually with it being in black & white it kind of looked like one of those end of the pier "what the butler saw" peep show machines.

If that's what the butler saw, no wonder he went on a killing spree.

Am i the only one *not* watching this??

Judging by how long the clip takes to buffer, yes...

Oh god now I've seen Gene Simmons knob.

So have thousands of women, alledgedly. No big deal.

Y'know, for a dude who spent most of his career miming cunnilingus...

guys we have no way of knowing if this is representative of a typical Gene Simmons sex session, let's keep that in mind

no let's NOT

i mean maybe he had played a show that day and his tongue was tired and sore.

(do you guys think he gets tongue massages? seems like it'd be a good thing for him to get.)

i mean the tongue is a muscle, right???

I think that maybe SHUT UP

dan you are smart and you're in the entertainment industry. do you do any warm up exercises with yr tongue when you're getting ready to sing?

http://www.speelang.co.uk/images/mr-tongue.gif

you horrible man

https://psycan.com/images/products/20031113145710_tongue_thrust.jpg

This man has managed to be not only an asshole but a really BORING asshole, like the kind of asshole who calmly tells you what an asshole he is, and you have to go "yes, yes, you're very bold and fascinating, please go away now" --

paying any attention whatsoever to his dick just encourages him

paying any attention whatsoever to his dick just encourages him

in fairness that is true of all men

Like, worse and more boring than this:

Asshole Admits to Being Asshole in Supreme Asshole Move

are you guys talking about me or gene simmons ;____;

your eyes are very far apart

;_;

I haven't seen the tape but I am guessing he looks a lot like Ron Jeremy? I've always thought Ron Jeremy could've been in Kiss.

I'm assuming it's pretty (Terry) gross.

That was just un-fucking called for. You get to scrub my brain now.

http://www.theroanoker.com/webexclusives/terrygross.jpg

"So I understand your mother was a Holocaust survivor. Do you think that has in some way informed your decision to leave your shirt on during sex?"

Republican sex. Is this how Alice Cooper does it, too?

illusions = shattered

http://www.kissfaq.com/screenshot/screenshot_xinsex.jpg

LET'S PUT THE X IN SEX

Shirt with no pants -- Porky Pig style, I believe they used to call that.

and will now forever

Gene speaks:

Hi everyone,

You may have heard or seen garbage that has sprung up from my past.
Rest assured the proper legal team is looking at all ramifications and options.

And us? Shannon, Nick and Soph are happy and healthy.
All is well.
And thank you all for the kind words of support.

i will not watch

porky piggin' it
donald duckin' it

aaannnd ...shirtcocking.

"Garbage?" Dude goes around bragging about what an awesome who-cares Lothario he is, you'd think he'd own it better

I think he's just mad about his gunt.

This is exactly what I always thought Gene Simmons sex would be like--impersonal and passionless. The "eh, why take our clothes off, we'd just have to put them back on again" thing sums it up nicely.

This is exactly what I always thought Gene Simmons sex would be like--impersonal and passionless.

You didn't think about for too long and too hard, did you? ;)

Well, it's a dry subject.

Though this does add another wrinkle.

There's even more wrinkles underneath that shirt -- I'm sure of it.

"garbage that has sprung up from my past"

nice.past is a realtive thing.

I think I'm going blind.

Stop masturbating.

Past? That movie looks like it was shot last week...

is there KISS-porn, that would be awesome.

I'm not sure I want to know, but where exactly is everybody finding this? I refuse to google "Gene Simmons sex tape".

stop masturbating

a day ago,twenty years ago...theyre nothing compared to the endless eternity past

Tiny Kiss Porn

(xpost) The girl on the tape is one of the promotions girls for Frank's 3n3rgy Dr1nk, which Gene is involved in advertising. So I bet this is all some viral marketing campaign.

"What's the part on the contract about 'special services?'"

idolator.com

I was going to watch this, but I decided not to. It sounds too gross. NB this is from a guy who watched the Fred Durst sex tape.

I'd put $$$ on Simmons somehow being behind this tape getting put out there, and he's making money off it.

he has an open relationship with his wife according to media so it make sense, cause theres no real scandal here

"according to the media" = "according to Gene Simmons's fat stupid mouth telling anyone who'll listen and hoping they'll be shocked"

u r clearly a veteran of the notorious fresh air appearance

It's not just Fresh Air, he does that ALL THAT TIME

haha, It was pretty clear in that interview that Simmons was HOPING to make a sex tape with Terry

if it was Love Gun era Demon style on succubus album-cover bitches animation I'd watch that video

On one Vh1 show I saw Gene talking about his "open relationship." It then showed Shannon denying this.

btw I don't know if there is Kiss porn but there IS insane clown posse porn.

can't wait for vampire weekend sex tape

Oh, NOW I get it, the subject line of this thread doesn't mean that Savannah is part of this video?

I thought he was gonna be doing some of this shit . Check out what he's up to during the solo.

so, if not gene simmons, what musician would ILM not watch having sex?

GG Allin

hahaha i love how nabisco just hates Gene Simmons.

I do. He's a particular kind of asshole that has always bugged the crap out of me. The kind who's a smug, boring asshole who thinks he's outsmarted and evolved beyond everyone and is "just being honest" and somehow interprets that fact that everyone knows he's an asshole as a sign that he's interesting. Like a libertarian, except with assholism.

Morbid curiosity had me watching a couple minutes of this last night, so depressing. Especially watching him trying to kiss her after she refused the first three times. Seems fairly obvious that there was some money involved in this.

I'm a huge fan of Gene Simmons. WHO's WITH ME?

i say no to all of this. not because i don't love porn, but because, um, gene simmons. yuck. even a screenshot i saw of this made my skin crawl. and i actually like KISS, too.

Life-long Kiss fan. This is awful, but not nearly as awful as Kiss' performance at the Winter Olympics in 2002.

Oh I dunno, Peter Criss did ok on the louge.

lol

he took off the make-up

but not his shirt

Oh I dunno, Peter Criss did ok on the louge.

My computer screen and keyboard are now soaked with Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.

Chaim Witz
Gets More Clits
When He Doesn't
Show His Tits

BURMA SHAVE

Like a libertarian, except with assholism.

Fixed.

The Gene Simmons / Ace Frehley tour, playing a 1600-cap theatre in Sydney, has cut dancefloor tickets from $147.85 to $50.

can't wait for vampire weekend sex tape

― gershy, Thursday, February 21, 2008 9:47 PM

Ten years was a long, long time ago.

Gene Simmons turns 69 today. Nice.