It rocks so hard your _____ will _____.

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So I recently wrote an article in which I mentioned some band rocking really hard. Had I not been rushed for time, I would have tried to come up with something more descriptive and less cliched than "it'll rock your face off" which is what I ended up writing. ILM, I ask you: when something rocks really, really hard, what does it do you? We've heard of faces being melted, asses being rocked off, etc etc. Got any good ones?

Emily Bjurnhjam, Thursday, 28 February 2008 22:46 (eighteen years ago)

It rocks so hard your ears will blow you.

Whiney G. Weingarten, Thursday, 28 February 2008 22:48 (eighteen years ago)

lawn, die (to paraphrase an old Motorhead line).

Alex in NYC, Thursday, 28 February 2008 22:48 (eighteen years ago)

It rocks so hard your cat will die.

The Brainwasher, Thursday, 28 February 2008 22:49 (eighteen years ago)

"assets" "liquidate"

Hurting 2, Thursday, 28 February 2008 22:49 (eighteen years ago)

PS: In said article, the band I'm referring to is my fake metal band, Gore Knob.

Emily Bjurnhjam, Thursday, 28 February 2008 22:49 (eighteen years ago)

scrotum, clench.

ian, Thursday, 28 February 2008 22:50 (eighteen years ago)

"Mum", "smoke crack"

Matt DC, Thursday, 28 February 2008 22:52 (eighteen years ago)

so hard the memory of michael jackson/prince will be irradicated

bb, Thursday, 28 February 2008 22:52 (eighteen years ago)

so hard lemmy feels immasculated

bb, Thursday, 28 February 2008 22:54 (eighteen years ago)

rocks so hard your foot will tap in an agreeable way?

Thomas, Thursday, 28 February 2008 22:55 (eighteen years ago)

It rocks so hard your dick will start issuing parking tickets.

latebloomer, Thursday, 28 February 2008 22:59 (eighteen years ago)

It rocks so hard your sternum will granulate.

Alex in NYC, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:00 (eighteen years ago)

It rocks so hard your shit will shit.

contenderizer, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:07 (eighteen years ago)

It rocks so hard your piss will vomit.

latebloomer, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:08 (eighteen years ago)

nuts will explode

snoball, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:11 (eighteen years ago)

genitalia will ejaculate gravel

snoball, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:11 (eighteen years ago)

your piss will burn for weeks.

ian, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:13 (eighteen years ago)

dog will melt

contenderizer, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:13 (eighteen years ago)

children will learn to read

latebloomer, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:15 (eighteen years ago)

your life will end.

ian, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:18 (eighteen years ago)

your lawn will never again need watering

contenderizer, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:21 (eighteen years ago)

it rocks so hard your assets will squirrel a sensible percentage of themselves away in a 401(k) plan

Whiney G. Weingarten, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:23 (eighteen years ago)

it rocks so hard your coworkers will not fault the cut of your slacks

contenderizer, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:24 (eighteen years ago)

it rocks so hard your mother will cry.

jessie monster, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:28 (eighteen years ago)

it rocks so hard Mount Rushmore will give up and retire to the south of France.

snoball, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:37 (eighteen years ago)

your HOOS will HOOS

Whiney G. Weingarten, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:40 (eighteen years ago)

bra will unhook

wanko ergo sum, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:41 (eighteen years ago)

Bowels will steam

Michael White, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:44 (eighteen years ago)

Whiney, I think I prefer 'your HOOS will STEEN'

emil.y, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:45 (eighteen years ago)

people in the UK will wake up and think it's an earthquake.

snoball, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:47 (eighteen years ago)

next post on ILM will look like the lamest post ever.

snoball, Thursday, 28 February 2008 23:50 (eighteen years ago)

Cliff Richards will cum in his pants

Fer Ark, Friday, 29 February 2008 09:14 (eighteen years ago)

you will hate everyone for being gay fags

CaptainLorax, Friday, 29 February 2008 09:17 (eighteen years ago)

you will kill people for the sake of hating anything that don't rock as hard

CaptainLorax, Friday, 29 February 2008 09:18 (eighteen years ago)

you will destroy the surplus of everything. you will rip up a person's body with your own knife and testosterone. you will kill people so hard that their blood will seem like a welcoming party to their death.

CaptainLorax, Friday, 29 February 2008 09:20 (eighteen years ago)

That fake band rocked so hard I decided to open a bag of potato chips.

Gorge, Saturday, 1 March 2008 00:31 (eighteen years ago)


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