Jimi Hendrix sex tape to be released by Vivid

Oh, as if Hendrix wouldn't spend his days having Suicide Girls chomp boredly on his barely functioning genitals if he was still alive in 2008.

Dom you have a way with words

Read them exclusively at DrownedInSound.com.

Until I get fired from there as well.

i think what drowned in sound needs is a dom passantino "what if jimi was alive in 2008" piece focusing specifically on his barely-functioning genitals

K0ry Gr0w posted a link and said "watch out for the wavy gravy" which made me giggle like an idiot for a solid 30 seconds.

Keep dissing Qu13tus Dom and maybe you'll manage it!

The "face and nostrils don't match" tho'.

If the face didn't match, then fine--but the nostrils too--no way.

I remember an issue of Guitar Player or some other guitar mag my brother had in the mid-90s had this bizarre "if Jimi was alive today" fan fiction story, with all these made-up titles for albums he'd go onto make in the 70s and 80s and and imaginary collaborations (Miles Davis, Thurston Moore, SRV, etc). it culminated in Jimi befriending Kurt Cobain, who was assassinated by a jealous Eddie Vedder who never became famous somehow as a result of Jimi being alive (lol seriously!), and Jimi dying during a RnR Hall of Fame induction performance where he set his guitar and himself on fire. the proposed Dom piece would fit right in with that.

If Jimi was alive he'd be in the same puddle of lol-who-gives-a-shit as Clapton, Santana, Jeff Beck and all the other awesome guitar players of the 60s

Tried googling that Dingbod piece that does that ^^^ to Joe Meek but couldn't find it.

(x-post)

whiney otm.

jimi would have made such a shitload of bad records by now if he were still alive.

If Hendrix was alive today the most exposure he would have had in the past 15 years would be at 2 minutes 12 in the "Yes We Can" video, between Lupe Fiasco and Dave Matthews.

he probably would have guested on speakerboxxx/a love below.

also remember to DL the unreleased jams him and prince did at paisley park in 92.

I don't know youse guys. I think the Hendrix albums that would've gotten made through '74 would have been pretty great. Though yeah post-disco Hendrix, nobody needs to hear that.

When the googlers find this thread in a year or so it's gonna be so awesome though

if they're still around by then.

maybe he would've joined mahavishnu orchestra that would've been pretty dope.

JIMI HENDRIX SEX TAPE VIVID NAKED NUDE JIMMY HENDRICKS SEX FUCK EDDIE VEDDER IS A MURDERER

jimi would have made such a shitload of bad records by now if he were still alive.

-- M@tt He1ges0n, Tuesday, April 29, 2008 6:17 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Right now he'd be 66, and just returning to rock. His 23rd record would have been set to come out on Starbucks, but they folded, so he'd be releasing it himself. Rolling Stone would do a three-page feature, but no one you hang out with would ever buy let alone hear the album.

Kurt Cobain would be 40, and releasing his fifth or sixth solo record; probably on Merge or Barsuk or Sub Pop or Anti-, and would be recieved with the alt-weeklies exclaiming "Oh neat" and then everyone promptly forgetting about it just like we do every solo record by Robyn Hitchcock, Frank Black or Bob Mould.

And the headline of the stories would be something like "Kurt Cobain: What Else Can He Say?"

janis would have probably just settled into the usual summer blues fest thing i'd imagine

i can't honestly imagine what morrison would be doing though.

Starring in the one-man show "Charles Bukowski: Fuck You"

morrison would be dead

OTM re: Janis

I'm glad we settled all this once and for all.

Ian Curtis would turn up as a pundit on the occasional episode of I Love the 80s.

"Remember that comedy Nazi imagery? What was all that about eh? Fookin 'ell that Rubik's Cube was 'ard."

brian jones would be touring as part of ringo's all-star band

Sid Vicious would be running a Sony imprint.

Dude out of EMF would be collecting glasses.

2pac would be getting denounced and rejected by John McCain.

Nicky Wire would be playing with a reformed Manics.

Roy Race would be appointed to the England job after their failure to qualify for Euro 2008.

Mark Speight would be presenting low-budget children's art show on Nick Junior.

and Phil Collins would have died back in 1974 and be hailed as a great drummer. Who improvised, apparently.

If Hendrix was still alive, the Led Zep reunion would have happened 15 years ago because there would have been a "Giants of Rawk" joint tour, surely.

Ian Curtis would turn up as a pundit on the occasional episode of I Love the 80s.

"Remember that comedy Nazi imagery? What was all that about eh? Fookin 'ell that Rubik's Cube was 'ard."

Ian Curtis reading the football scores a la MES

lol (or not) at m@tt and whiney's chall-ops-off.

If Jimi was alive he'd be in the same puddle of lol-who-gives-a-shit as Clapton, Santana, Jeff Beck and all the other awesome guitar players of the 60s
Maybe, but Jimi was head and shoulders above those guys in terms of innovation and sheer greatness. (Clapton had his moments in Cream and D&D, I suppose.) Not sure if he'd be considered as much of a joke as the rest, just old.

Clapton played Dungeons and Dragons?

Level 12 white elf

+3 Axe of Sleeping

I get the feeling a disco Hendrix album would be getting "rediscovered" circa now.

http://www.popartuk.com/g/l/lgst4085+cobain-hendrix-joplin-morrison-jones-forever-27-poster.jpg

H00S otm

i would like to hear disco hendrix

As would I.

http://mundo47.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/chequered-1.jpg

not disco or anything but everyone should listen to it

HAHAHA, I thought his facial expression was like your reaction to us wanting to hear disco Hendrix.

What a cover.

nah man i would listen to disco hendrix so hard

If people called you Chubby all your life, you'd be sneering, too.

I'd love it if I was called Chubby Checker

I've always wanted a sweet nickname that stuck. "Tron" was promising for a while but eventually it was back to "Nate" as always.

Keith Moon would probably weigh 500 pounds. As would Bonham

Now imagine that sex tape.

xpost, nah Bonham maybe, but Moon would've done his rehab and be a much cherished national institution, constantly being wheeled out on talk shows to reminisce about the old days.

...and it's a shame that Jimi isn't around to do a cover of "Stars Are Blind".

Yeah that Chubby Checker album rules.

lol (or not) at m@tt and whiney's chall-ops-off.

-- banriquit, Wednesday, 30 April 2008 11:13 (4 hours ago) Link

oh big fucking deal it's no stupider than %85 of the shit that gets posted on this board.

also i kinda think jeff beck was a way better guitar player than hendrix. real talk.

75 percent of electric ladyland is boring as fuck!

upset the applecart!!!!! fuck da canon!!!!

robin trower did hendrix better than hendrix!!!!

electric ladyland is super sweet

Dude, I was listening to Band of Gypsys the other day. Some of the shit he does there is simply jaw-dropping, fucking ridiculously awesome. Plus it's live.

triple xpost

my challenging opinions are ruffling the feathers of the canon. i can't help but think i've made a difference this morning.

cream had a better rhythm section and could write better pop songs than hendrix.

Not ruffling my feathers. Each to his own. I wouldn't fault Jimi as a guitarist because he didn't have Jack Bruce in his band, though. Plus he shits all over Clapton.

is that in the video?

2 gods 1 cup?

electric tubladyland

"is that in the video?"

Only the Japanese release.

i thought ladyland was boring til i listened to it on good "speakers"

If Morrison had lived and cleaned up, he would have left music after L.A. Woman, fallen in with Coppola and replaced John Milius as a writer on the Apocaplyse Now screenplay. During Brando's bits at the end, he'd have told him to "stop with the Lizard King shit, and do the scene like I wrote it." Stooges would have been the featured act on the soundtrack, prompting stoner high school chicks to get into Iggy, thus midwifing punk's mainstream acceptance in America during at turn of the 80s. The cascading effects of this would mean that today Ian MacKaye would be locked in a dead heat with Hillary for the Democratic nomination.

...and Hendrix would have just done a duet of "Creep" with Prince at Coachella.

YOU should write a screenplay, Bendy!

Hendrix would have done kind of a cross between Thomas Pynchon and Dave LaChapelle and disappeared up to Humboldt County and putting out records at odd intervals, something like what Tom Waits does now, but with Jim Morrison (also up there) guesting on a song or two.

Or he would've played the guest lead on "Are You Gonna Go My Way?".

robin trower did hendrix better than hendrix!!!!

Do you listen to Trower much? He was greatly inspired by Hendrix (there's a song on Procol Harum's Broken Barricades, Trower's last album with that group, which is a tribute to the man) and carried along a few things but was distinct in his style. He had his own tone established in Procol and it was still a bedrock even after he dropped the Gibsons and went to the Strat.

There's nothing that comes to mind in the Hendrix catalog that tonally and stylistically resembles Bridge of Sighs. Or even Long Misty Days, one of the Trower albums few listen to anymore. Hendrix wrote good pop tunes. Trower doesn't write pop tunes and almost always sticks to things based off straight blues and R&B things, much moreso than JH. Hendrix sang his own stuff. Trower got Jimmy Dewar and other sidemen to sing.

Jim Morrison would look like John Popper. Jimi would look like Santana.

I could see Jimi and Alicia Keys doing a massive hit single.

I hope Jimi would not have gone through an MTV period of guest-starring on Sam Kinnison's "Foxy Lady", etc.

Gah!

lolling at this thread

i thought ladyland was boring til i listened to it on good "speakers"

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, April 30, 2008 4:53 PM (10 months ago) Bookmark

^^^ puzzling

is "speakers" code for "weed"

haha i spotted that--maybe you meant "good" speakers?