So tell me something about The Melvins

they gurn.

(whatever you do, dont buy the "all star" record.)

I'm downloading their first album "Gluey..." something or other... Is that a good place to start?

Yes; I don't find many of their albums very satisying but that one's my favorite. Good slow songs AND some good fast ones too.

'Spread Eagle Beagle' is the greatest track ever recorded

_bullhead_, _lysol_ (aka _melvins_, the one with the indian on horseback on the cover), and _eggnog_ would all be good points of entry for someone coming from the sunn/earth doom band side of things. _eggnog_ is probably best, having 3 shorter, 'punkier' songs and the massive "charmicarmicat".

from a more 'rock' (but still gut-punching) side, _houdini_ is their major label debut and is overlooked in my opinion...

on a side note, i highly recommend joe preston's solo EP, too - it has a nice, long earth-type track on it that should melt your earwax straightaway. really the melvins (and their ultra-heavy period with joe, a connection to earth) are the forgotten progenitors of the ultra-slow-heavy stuff coming out on southern lord; everyone namechecks earth, and outside of isis doing a track called "charmicarmicat falls to earth", they rarely get props.

and i haven't heard anything since the not-so-great "stoner witch" - anyone care to speak on those?

Melvins are ace!!

Lysol is my favorite album. Most like their live sets (which were unbelieveably loud and punishing) just one continuous track with about 5 or 6 songs (one Flipper cover and one Alice Cooper cover). Unfortunately, it is kind of short (only 30 or so minutes. "Charmicarmicat" is great too and, I believe, it has one of the slowest bpms ever (at points anyway) clocking in at molasses-y 18 bpm.

Their latest couple of albums, esp FantomasMelvins, are mind-blowing. As Ned could tell you... right, Ned?

For years I've been saying that someday people will think of the Melvins the way people nowadays think of Can--totally brilliant sui generis freakazoids who were way ahead of their time. Maybe not at that same level of official-sanction fervor, but I stand by the assessment.

On a shorter time-scale, the Melvins are metal/grunge/what-have-you with all (well, most of) the stupid parts edited out. You've got slow- moving Earth-type sludge (Earth probably stole it from them, in fact), unhinged caterwauling, and the occasional bottom-heavy rock- traction track. And although some of Buzz's songs have actual lyrics, most of the time he's just gibbering, which, for me, is a vast improvement over paens to loving up putrefying corpses or whatever. In fact, the Eggnog EP has a lyric sheet for such immortal lines as "Like stee, moanin' Ludlow." Take that, Vedder.

That said, they have a very strong contrarian, middle-finger streak that leads to some insufferable wallow, especially since they left Atlantic. So while I would recommend pretty much any of the early records (such as the C/Z and Boner releases) and even the major-label albums, I would avoid sinking any money into the Am. Rep. items or, uh, anything they've done lately until you've ascertained your level of interest.

If you want to check them out, it'd be hard to beat Eggnogg as a taster. If you like that, spread out from there.

As Ned could tell you... right, Ned?

Quite right. If I had to pick some random faves, Gluey Porch Treatments, Lysol, Stag, Hostile Ambient Takeover and Singles 1-12. But let us not forget the sublime 'fuck you' that is Prick.

The only time I saw Nirvana, they had the dude from The Melvins playing drums. The drums were big and curvy shaped; and when they played "Molly's Lips" I thought they were launching into "Gloria" and got all stoked, but it was just a weird song I'd never heard.

The Melvins sound like Judas Priest taking a shit.

Of course Earth stole it from Melvins. But man, they did a good job with the sludge...

wow i only have stoner witch and i like it... sounds like i should get other melvins records because unbeknownst to me stoner witch actually sux0r! my favorite song is 'queen'

I heartily recommend "I Can't Shake It", a cover originally done by some Australian band called Angel City. The original's sort of AC/DC meets ZZ Top, but the Melvins turn it into pure swaggering sleaze- rock that gets all stoner-style at the end. Other than that, my Melvins knowledge is pretty limited.