From the front cover of the new issue of Spin - "I'd be surprised if (the new Coldplay album) didn't put an end to all violence and suffering." - Chris Martin, Coldplay

Lock thread.

Spin still exists?

good issue

b/w the big 3 mags they've been putting out the consistently best issues over the last 4-5 months imo

http://blogderandy.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/talespin.jpg

Print journalism still exists?

Seriously, what are the 'big 3'? I guess RS is one.

rs blender spin

I don't think I've bought a music magazine since Option died.

Would rather see Chris Martin repping for the Aryan Brotherhood tbh.

My sources tell me he's doing Lindsay Buckingham level skiing (sniff sniff)...get well soon, douchebag!

thank you for clarifying for a second there i thought he was going to tire himself out on the swiss alps

Gwynnie is vewy concerned :(

vewy?

Chris Martin is so obviously a bit of a wind-up merchant.

from some website:

Chris Martin says chocolate is “like crack”.

The clean-living Coldplay frontman claims the confectionary treat is as addictive as the illegal class A drug crack cocaine.

When asked to name his favourite chocolate bar, Chris said: “Any chocolate – it’s like crack you know - you can never have a bad one.”

Chris soon realised his mistake and attempted to apologise for his comments by telling BBC Radio 1: “Please let me backtrack, if you’re into something and you like it a lot then that’s... Of course crack is a bad thing, I’m heavily into chocolate. I was only joking and I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m sorry.”

When Coldplay first started in the music business they reportedly had two rules - to share all their profits equally and fire any band member caught using hard drugs.

However, bass player Guy Berryman denied the claims last month, insisting:
“We don't really have any rules. The important thing is just our relationships.”

Later in the same UK radio interview Chris joked that if he could take one item to a desert island with him, he would choose “pills which make you never say anything stupid ever again”.

Word has it they brought and skiied on huge quantities of snow in St Bart's last winter...brrr

when is the revolution coming to high-end vacation spots, I wonder?

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/character2.jpg

vewy?

-- s1ocki, Friday, June 20, 2008 10:56 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

As in call a wahhhhhhmbulance, Chwis has a vewy sewious pwoblem

Well we can all talk about bringing about Chris Martin's demise till the cows come home but when are we gonna start acting people? Move it or lose it!

Spin still exists?

^^^^

I don't think I've bought a music magazine since Option died.

^^^^

Amen, brother.

i don't really know the music but c'mon, the guy is funny. see his vid interview w/ ricky gervais.

Haven't heard the single, won't hear the album . . . who really cares?

Hahahahah fair enough!

God I DO hope he's not doing coke. I mean, come on.

I didn't say that! Skiing is a sport for some

man how dare this guy use sarcasm seriously fuck him

bi qibswe wcwetibw gRWA NW U xr hyar kujw gun

that's how i'd give a radio interview if i was off

Quality trolling, well done Chris Martin.

http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/4773/2118473321184736largepv4.jpghttp://img118.imageshack.us/img118/4176/fortyyearoldvirgindh0.jpg

ok ricky's the funnier one but Chris holds his own...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DlvxYmBHYo

it's about time someone took chris martin down a peg.

hey did you ever notice this band is sorta BLAND? and MIDDLE OF THE ROAD?

glad to see you guys aren't falling for the "hype" on this band.

also SPIN? lol i mean who reads SPIN anymore...really.

I get all my news on the INTERNET. it's way more of a modern way of finding out about shit.

wait someone referred to "RS" on this thread...what is that?

oh wait that stands for Rolling Stone! I had forgot about that magazine cuz I've been really busy with my blog and chatting with my peeps on facebook! it's so easy to keep in touch now with your "crew", way easier than "snail mail" lol

So Coldplay are the first British guitar band to have a US #1 single since UB40? Well done all involved.

Man, Ali Campbell's gonna be pissed.

This AND a rat in his kitchen.

UB40 were a guitar band?

Dude is going to be hitting the red red wine tonight

You guys and gals are smart and would know this (and strangely it's not completely irrelevant to this thread)...does anyone know what famous writer or artist said something to the effect of, "Please don't misunderstand me too quickly" Thanks in advance...

uhhh Nina Simone?

Stanley Unwin.

hege1son on point

I just knew I'd get razzed for a serious question...what is "hege1son on point"

oh duh, i scrolled up, let the razzing recommence!

it means we are going in to take out coldplay and helgeson is covering our asses
xpost

Ward, I'm worried about Verona.

I love this thread. Keep it rollin' folks.

Yeah, that might have been a tad rageful but I'm cool now. Chris Martin is still on my list tho but for the time being I will let sleeping dogs lie etc

Confessions of an anxious rock god

Yawn. Talk about predictable easy shots...

holy shit i must listen to this album at once!

^^On my list

excellent hyperbole. he should be a rapper.

This is awesome

how heinously photoshopped are Coldplay on that cover? it reminds me of that jokey Radiohead cover SPIN did a few years ago, with the high cheekbones and buffed skin. no joking now.

but i did feel that the Martin line was actually said in jest. tho it was right around the time i stopped and left the bathroom, so i don't know what came next.

flushing.

i read that quote as a totally tongue-in-cheek joke. lighten up, folks.

chris martin knows irony? surprise, surprise.

I'm leaning towards Chris Martin being a cockbag who believes his own hype. Sometimes he does come across as someone taking the piss out of the whole global rock star image, but then the next minute he'll say something and I'll just think "wanker". Either way I still think they make boring music.

our type of music is very heavy soft rock.
(from their myspace page)

40 yr old virgin poster apt considering all their early pre-explosion articles were about the dude... being a virgin? or just naive, I forget

I wonder what other artists could inspire such bile from the ILM masses for such an obviously tongue-in-cheek comment?

Dave Matthews? Jack Johnson?

a+ thread

"Confessions of an anxious rock god"
Well I'm no rockstar (yet) but Jesus shitting Christ you'd NEVER catch the likes of Axle Rose or Bruce Dickinson standing around under that kind of heading. Sounds like a bad tv movie.

RS cover reminds me of a) this >>>
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/d4/Tommy_film_poster.jpg/376px-Tommy_film_poster.jpg
(I couldn't find a picture of Daltrey looking glazed-eyed into the middle distance)
...and b)
John Paul Jones in the movie "Privilege"

Damn, I meant Paul Jones...
http://www.televisionpersonalities.co.uk/images/newpriv.jpg

Bowie briefly went through a similar phase to Chris Martin - "I've travelled, I've seen who rules the world, and I'm frightened" (cribbed from a Lester Bangs article, not an actual direct quote). But fortunately Bowie took even more cocaine and started believing that he could be the next Hitler or something, so an imminent pious rock star/saviour situation was averted.

I had no interest in checking out this thread until seeing that Rolling Stone cover at 7-11 earlier today.. I was sure it had been posted, and behold, there it is.

It's truly an amazingly beautiful magazine cover. I'm going to make a wallsize poster and print it on t-shirts. For realz, how is ANYONE supposed to take that picture seriously? Webster just changed the new definition of "absurd" to that exact picture.

btw has anyone actually read the quote in context of the piece?

the interviewer asked him if viva la vida was going to "save EMI" and he said (direct quote) "No, but it'll probably save the world. I don't want to blow my own trumpet, but I'd be surprised if it didn't put an end to all violence and suffering."

if you all are going to crucify him over that shit you either have no sense of humor or need to stake a step back from the idol burning business for a sec

I know nothing about any recent SPIN articles.. Alls I's know is this...
http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/4773/2118473321184736largepv4.jpghttp://img48.imageshack.us/img48/4773/2118473321184736largepv4.jpghttp://img48.imageshack.us/img48/4773/2118473321184736largepv4.jpg

u guyz are way too srs

starring chris martin as mccain's wounded psyche.

http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/4773/2118473321184736largepv4.jpghttp://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj221/aprilfresh420/hugh-laurie.jpg

OMG They both have stubble!

^^^I KNOW!
Anyways, I'm guessing people realise he was being 'sarcastic' or 'witty' or something but that doesn't excuse him from the fact that he is a douche.

from pitchfork, today:

COLDPLAY ANNOUNCED AS SURPRISE HEADLINER FOR CHALLOPSAPALOOZA 2008

If Assholes Could Fly and stephen really put together a great lineup this year. best challopsapalooza lineup in ages i think. so glad to see ashlee get the main stage!

excellent hyperbole. he should be a rapper.

-- titchyschneiderMk2, Monday, 23 June 2008 12:29 (Yesterday) Link

Would we have started this thread if the quote, the RS cover and the anxiousy <rock> god thing were all attributed to Jay-Z? Or do we have similar Kanye West threads?

^^OTM however, we expect these kind of levels of asspie from peeps like Kanye West and Jay-Z hell thats probs the exact reason why a lot of people love them. HOWEVER they are upfront about their shit unlike Chris Martin.
so glad to see ashlee get the main stage! Serious? Is Mariah Carey on this too?

asspie

whoa there are things to be done with this

http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/4773/2118473321184736largepv4.jpg
http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/a/a9/Tommy_1975.jpg

TS: http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/4773/2118473321184736largepv4.jpg vs http://newsbusters.org/media/Jesus%20is%20that%20you2.jpg

asspie

whoa there are things to be done with this
That's what she said!

I'd like to raise another point, in all this hoopla, why is no one pointing the blame at the various editors, writers, staff etc at Rolling Stone, the delicate flowers that they are?

Have there been any Eno quotes in interviews about him having a hand in production on this?

yeah there was on in that Spin piece: I found working on this album to be personally degrading, just because the music was so horrible. Day in and day out, you know. But I got points on it, and the shit is flying off the shelves, so show me love, assholes."

im white, btw

had me fooled

"I thought about doing some of those chance-operation things I did with Bowie on that album we did in '95 or '96 - what was that? Tonight? Yeah, that shit really lit the world on fire. You know? So I told my assistant to set up the mics the way I've been setting up mics since about 1977 and said if anybody needed me I'd be in the lounge playing Halo. For this I was paid millions of dollars. Fuck you all."

lol this martin fellow apparently suffers from anxiety despite being a 'rock god', at least as proclaimed by rolling stone!

and get this - he thinks he's smart enough to be 'ironic'!!

what a douche! can someone kill this man please

aged challops with a side of custos

^^^mods please change deeznuts's login name, thanks

loool omar

i just wanted to post to this thread, for posterity.

http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h309/OgyJoe/Flyers/2008-03-14%20-%20My%20Beautiful%20Disaster/Black---Animated.gif