From the front cover of the new issue of Spin - "I'd be surprised if (the new Coldplay album) didn't put an end to all violence and suffering." - Chris Martin, Coldplay

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Really, we can't just fucking murder this douchebag already, really? I mean, REALLY? Come on, just let us kill him.

Dude makes Bono look like shy and self-deprecating.

If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport, Friday, 20 June 2008 22:06 (seventeen years ago)

Lock thread.

stephen, Friday, 20 June 2008 22:07 (seventeen years ago)

Spin still exists?

Oilyrags, Friday, 20 June 2008 22:13 (seventeen years ago)

good issue

J0rdan S., Friday, 20 June 2008 22:14 (seventeen years ago)

b/w the big 3 mags they've been putting out the consistently best issues over the last 4-5 months imo

J0rdan S., Friday, 20 June 2008 22:14 (seventeen years ago)

http://blogderandy.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/talespin.jpg

stephen, Friday, 20 June 2008 22:14 (seventeen years ago)

Print journalism still exists?

Oilyrags, Friday, 20 June 2008 22:15 (seventeen years ago)

Seriously, what are the 'big 3'? I guess RS is one.

Oilyrags, Friday, 20 June 2008 22:17 (seventeen years ago)

rs blender spin

J0rdan S., Friday, 20 June 2008 22:18 (seventeen years ago)

I don't think I've bought a music magazine since Option died.

Oilyrags, Friday, 20 June 2008 22:19 (seventeen years ago)

Would rather see Chris Martin repping for the Aryan Brotherhood tbh.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 20 June 2008 22:20 (seventeen years ago)

My sources tell me he's doing Lindsay Buckingham level skiing (sniff sniff)...get well soon, douchebag!

iago g., Friday, 20 June 2008 22:42 (seventeen years ago)

thank you for clarifying for a second there i thought he was going to tire himself out on the swiss alps

J0rdan S., Friday, 20 June 2008 22:43 (seventeen years ago)

Gwynnie is vewy concerned :(

iago g., Friday, 20 June 2008 22:54 (seventeen years ago)

vewy?

s1ocki, Friday, 20 June 2008 22:56 (seventeen years ago)

Chris Martin is so obviously a bit of a wind-up merchant.

chap, Friday, 20 June 2008 23:01 (seventeen years ago)

from some website:

Chris Martin says chocolate is “like crack”.

The clean-living Coldplay frontman claims the confectionary treat is as addictive as the illegal class A drug crack cocaine.

When asked to name his favourite chocolate bar, Chris said: “Any chocolate – it’s like crack you know - you can never have a bad one.”

Chris soon realised his mistake and attempted to apologise for his comments by telling BBC Radio 1: “Please let me backtrack, if you’re into something and you like it a lot then that’s... Of course crack is a bad thing, I’m heavily into chocolate. I was only joking and I don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m sorry.”

When Coldplay first started in the music business they reportedly had two rules - to share all their profits equally and fire any band member caught using hard drugs.

However, bass player Guy Berryman denied the claims last month, insisting:
“We don't really have any rules. The important thing is just our relationships.”

Later in the same UK radio interview Chris joked that if he could take one item to a desert island with him, he would choose “pills which make you never say anything stupid ever again”.

Tape Store, Friday, 20 June 2008 23:31 (seventeen years ago)

Word has it they brought and skiied on huge quantities of snow in St Bart's last winter...brrr

iago g., Friday, 20 June 2008 23:45 (seventeen years ago)

when is the revolution coming to high-end vacation spots, I wonder?

iago g., Friday, 20 June 2008 23:46 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/character2.jpg

omar little, Saturday, 21 June 2008 00:20 (seventeen years ago)

vewy?

-- s1ocki, Friday, June 20, 2008 10:56 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

As in call a wahhhhhhmbulance, Chwis has a vewy sewious pwoblem

iago g., Saturday, 21 June 2008 00:29 (seventeen years ago)

Well we can all talk about bringing about Chris Martin's demise till the cows come home but when are we gonna start acting people? Move it or lose it!

VeronaInTheClub, Saturday, 21 June 2008 01:01 (seventeen years ago)

Spin still exists?

^^^^

I don't think I've bought a music magazine since Option died.

^^^^

Amen, brother.

Bimble Is Still More Goth Than You, Saturday, 21 June 2008 01:59 (seventeen years ago)

i don't really know the music but c'mon, the guy is funny. see his vid interview w/ ricky gervais.

dan selzer, Saturday, 21 June 2008 02:50 (seventeen years ago)

Haven't heard the single, won't hear the album . . . who really cares?

If Timi Yuro would be still alive, most other singers could shut up, Saturday, 21 June 2008 02:59 (seventeen years ago)

Hahahahah fair enough!

Bimble Is Still More Goth Than You, Saturday, 21 June 2008 03:05 (seventeen years ago)

God I DO hope he's not doing coke. I mean, come on.

Bimble Is Still More Goth Than You, Saturday, 21 June 2008 03:05 (seventeen years ago)

I didn't say that! Skiing is a sport for some

iago g., Saturday, 21 June 2008 03:23 (seventeen years ago)

man how dare this guy use sarcasm seriously fuck him

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 21 June 2008 03:26 (seventeen years ago)

bi qibswe wcwetibw gRWA NW U xr hyar kujw gun

usic, Saturday, 21 June 2008 03:29 (seventeen years ago)

that's how i'd give a radio interview if i was off

usic, Saturday, 21 June 2008 03:30 (seventeen years ago)

Quality trolling, well done Chris Martin.

Matt DC, Saturday, 21 June 2008 12:48 (seventeen years ago)

ok ricky's the funnier one but Chris holds his own...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DlvxYmBHYo

dan selzer, Saturday, 21 June 2008 14:19 (seventeen years ago)

it's about time someone took chris martin down a peg.

hey did you ever notice this band is sorta BLAND? and MIDDLE OF THE ROAD?

glad to see you guys aren't falling for the "hype" on this band.

M@tt He1ges0n, Saturday, 21 June 2008 14:33 (seventeen years ago)

also SPIN? lol i mean who reads SPIN anymore...really.

I get all my news on the INTERNET. it's way more of a modern way of finding out about shit.

M@tt He1ges0n, Saturday, 21 June 2008 14:34 (seventeen years ago)

wait someone referred to "RS" on this thread...what is that?

M@tt He1ges0n, Saturday, 21 June 2008 14:35 (seventeen years ago)

oh wait that stands for Rolling Stone! I had forgot about that magazine cuz I've been really busy with my blog and chatting with my peeps on facebook! it's so easy to keep in touch now with your "crew", way easier than "snail mail" lol

M@tt He1ges0n, Saturday, 21 June 2008 14:36 (seventeen years ago)

So Coldplay are the first British guitar band to have a US #1 single since UB40? Well done all involved.

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Saturday, 21 June 2008 14:38 (seventeen years ago)

Man, Ali Campbell's gonna be pissed.

Matt DC, Saturday, 21 June 2008 14:54 (seventeen years ago)

This AND a rat in his kitchen.

Matt DC, Saturday, 21 June 2008 14:54 (seventeen years ago)

UB40 were a guitar band?

Billy Dods, Saturday, 21 June 2008 15:59 (seventeen years ago)

Dude is going to be hitting the red red wine tonight

snoball, Saturday, 21 June 2008 16:01 (seventeen years ago)

You guys and gals are smart and would know this (and strangely it's not completely irrelevant to this thread)...does anyone know what famous writer or artist said something to the effect of, "Please don't misunderstand me too quickly" Thanks in advance...

iago g., Saturday, 21 June 2008 19:33 (seventeen years ago)

uhhh Nina Simone?

some dude, Saturday, 21 June 2008 19:35 (seventeen years ago)

Stanley Unwin.

Noodle Vague, Saturday, 21 June 2008 20:24 (seventeen years ago)

hege1son on point

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 21 June 2008 20:59 (seventeen years ago)

I just knew I'd get razzed for a serious question...what is "hege1son on point"

iago g., Saturday, 21 June 2008 21:33 (seventeen years ago)

oh duh, i scrolled up, let the razzing recommence!

iago g., Saturday, 21 June 2008 21:33 (seventeen years ago)

it means we are going in to take out coldplay and helgeson is covering our asses
xpost

Just got offed, Saturday, 21 June 2008 21:34 (seventeen years ago)

Ward, I'm worried about Verona.

If Timi Yuro would be still alive, most other singers could shut up, Sunday, 22 June 2008 11:01 (seventeen years ago)

I love this thread. Keep it rollin' folks.

Bimble Is Still More Goth Than You, Sunday, 22 June 2008 12:53 (seventeen years ago)

Yeah, that might have been a tad rageful but I'm cool now. Chris Martin is still on my list tho but for the time being I will let sleeping dogs lie etc

VeronaInTheClub, Sunday, 22 June 2008 14:13 (seventeen years ago)

Confessions of an anxious rock god

Bimble Is Still More Goth Than You, Sunday, 22 June 2008 15:28 (seventeen years ago)

Yawn. Talk about predictable easy shots...

curmudgeon, Sunday, 22 June 2008 19:17 (seventeen years ago)

holy shit i must listen to this album at once!

res, Monday, 23 June 2008 02:39 (seventeen years ago)

^^On my list

VeronaInTheClub, Monday, 23 June 2008 12:22 (seventeen years ago)

excellent hyperbole. he should be a rapper.

titchyschneiderMk2, Monday, 23 June 2008 12:29 (seventeen years ago)

This is awesome

baaderonixx, Monday, 23 June 2008 12:33 (seventeen years ago)

how heinously photoshopped are Coldplay on that cover? it reminds me of that jokey Radiohead cover SPIN did a few years ago, with the high cheekbones and buffed skin. no joking now.

but i did feel that the Martin line was actually said in jest. tho it was right around the time i stopped and left the bathroom, so i don't know what came next.

beta blog, Monday, 23 June 2008 15:11 (seventeen years ago)

flushing.

Mark G, Monday, 23 June 2008 15:20 (seventeen years ago)

i read that quote as a totally tongue-in-cheek joke. lighten up, folks.

CharlieNo4, Monday, 23 June 2008 15:45 (seventeen years ago)

chris martin knows irony? surprise, surprise.

alex in mainhattan, Monday, 23 June 2008 19:49 (seventeen years ago)

I'm leaning towards Chris Martin being a cockbag who believes his own hype. Sometimes he does come across as someone taking the piss out of the whole global rock star image, but then the next minute he'll say something and I'll just think "wanker". Either way I still think they make boring music.

snoball, Monday, 23 June 2008 19:53 (seventeen years ago)

our type of music is very heavy soft rock.
(from their myspace page)

alex in mainhattan, Monday, 23 June 2008 20:09 (seventeen years ago)

40 yr old virgin poster apt considering all their early pre-explosion articles were about the dude... being a virgin? or just naive, I forget

mh, Monday, 23 June 2008 21:44 (seventeen years ago)

I wonder what other artists could inspire such bile from the ILM masses for such an obviously tongue-in-cheek comment?

Dave Matthews? Jack Johnson?

jon /via/ chi 2.0, Monday, 23 June 2008 21:49 (seventeen years ago)

a+ thread

PappaWheelie V, Monday, 23 June 2008 22:15 (seventeen years ago)

"Confessions of an anxious rock god"
Well I'm no rockstar (yet) but Jesus shitting Christ you'd NEVER catch the likes of Axle Rose or Bruce Dickinson standing around under that kind of heading. Sounds like a bad tv movie.

VeronaInTheClub, Monday, 23 June 2008 22:18 (seventeen years ago)

RS cover reminds me of a) this >>>
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/d4/Tommy_film_poster.jpg/376px-Tommy_film_poster.jpg
(I couldn't find a picture of Daltrey looking glazed-eyed into the middle distance)
...and b)
John Paul Jones in the movie "Privilege"

snoball, Monday, 23 June 2008 22:31 (seventeen years ago)

Damn, I meant Paul Jones...
http://www.televisionpersonalities.co.uk/images/newpriv.jpg

snoball, Monday, 23 June 2008 22:33 (seventeen years ago)

Bowie briefly went through a similar phase to Chris Martin - "I've travelled, I've seen who rules the world, and I'm frightened" (cribbed from a Lester Bangs article, not an actual direct quote). But fortunately Bowie took even more cocaine and started believing that he could be the next Hitler or something, so an imminent pious rock star/saviour situation was averted.

snoball, Monday, 23 June 2008 22:46 (seventeen years ago)

I had no interest in checking out this thread until seeing that Rolling Stone cover at 7-11 earlier today.. I was sure it had been posted, and behold, there it is.

It's truly an amazingly beautiful magazine cover. I'm going to make a wallsize poster and print it on t-shirts. For realz, how is ANYONE supposed to take that picture seriously? Webster just changed the new definition of "absurd" to that exact picture.

billstevejim, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 04:21 (seventeen years ago)

btw has anyone actually read the quote in context of the piece?

the interviewer asked him if viva la vida was going to "save EMI" and he said (direct quote) "No, but it'll probably save the world. I don't want to blow my own trumpet, but I'd be surprised if it didn't put an end to all violence and suffering."

J0rdan S., Tuesday, 24 June 2008 04:25 (seventeen years ago)

if you all are going to crucify him over that shit you either have no sense of humor or need to stake a step back from the idol burning business for a sec

J0rdan S., Tuesday, 24 June 2008 04:25 (seventeen years ago)

I know nothing about any recent SPIN articles.. Alls I's know is this...
http://img48.imageshack.us/img48/4773/2118473321184736largepv4.jpghttp://img48.imageshack.us/img48/4773/2118473321184736largepv4.jpghttp://img48.imageshack.us/img48/4773/2118473321184736largepv4.jpg

billstevejim, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 04:36 (seventeen years ago)

u guyz are way too srs

J0rdan S., Tuesday, 24 June 2008 04:37 (seventeen years ago)

starring chris martin as mccain's wounded psyche.

tipsy mothra, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 05:12 (seventeen years ago)

OMG They both have stubble!

Party Sausage, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 06:52 (seventeen years ago)

^^^I KNOW!
Anyways, I'm guessing people realise he was being 'sarcastic' or 'witty' or something but that doesn't excuse him from the fact that he is a douche.

VeronaInTheClub, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 14:34 (seventeen years ago)

from pitchfork, today:

COLDPLAY ANNOUNCED AS SURPRISE HEADLINER FOR CHALLOPSAPALOOZA 2008

M@tt He1ges0n, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 15:19 (seventeen years ago)

If Assholes Could Fly and stephen really put together a great lineup this year. best challopsapalooza lineup in ages i think. so glad to see ashlee get the main stage!

J0rdan S., Tuesday, 24 June 2008 15:38 (seventeen years ago)

excellent hyperbole. he should be a rapper.

-- titchyschneiderMk2, Monday, 23 June 2008 12:29 (Yesterday) Link

Would we have started this thread if the quote, the RS cover and the anxiousy <rock> god thing were all attributed to Jay-Z? Or do we have similar Kanye West threads?

alex in montreal, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 15:39 (seventeen years ago)

^^OTM however, we expect these kind of levels of asspie from peeps like Kanye West and Jay-Z hell thats probs the exact reason why a lot of people love them. HOWEVER they are upfront about their shit unlike Chris Martin.
so glad to see ashlee get the main stage! Serious? Is Mariah Carey on this too?

VeronaInTheClub, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 15:42 (seventeen years ago)

asspie

whoa there are things to be done with this

Just got offed, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 15:44 (seventeen years ago)

asspie

whoa there are things to be done with this
That's what she said!

I'd like to raise another point, in all this hoopla, why is no one pointing the blame at the various editors, writers, staff etc at Rolling Stone, the delicate flowers that they are?

VeronaInTheClub, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 15:59 (seventeen years ago)

Have there been any Eno quotes in interviews about him having a hand in production on this?

mh, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 20:32 (seventeen years ago)

yeah there was on in that Spin piece: I found working on this album to be personally degrading, just because the music was so horrible. Day in and day out, you know. But I got points on it, and the shit is flying off the shelves, so show me love, assholes."

J0hn D., Tuesday, 24 June 2008 20:40 (seventeen years ago)

im white, btw

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 20:45 (seventeen years ago)

had me fooled

M@tt He1ges0n, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 20:49 (seventeen years ago)

"I thought about doing some of those chance-operation things I did with Bowie on that album we did in '95 or '96 - what was that? Tonight? Yeah, that shit really lit the world on fire. You know? So I told my assistant to set up the mics the way I've been setting up mics since about 1977 and said if anybody needed me I'd be in the lounge playing Halo. For this I was paid millions of dollars. Fuck you all."

J0hn D., Tuesday, 24 June 2008 20:49 (seventeen years ago)

lol this martin fellow apparently suffers from anxiety despite being a 'rock god', at least as proclaimed by rolling stone!

and get this - he thinks he's smart enough to be 'ironic'!!

what a douche! can someone kill this man please

deeznuts, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 20:49 (seventeen years ago)

aged challops with a side of custos

omar little, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 20:52 (seventeen years ago)

^^^mods please change deeznuts's login name, thanks

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 20:55 (seventeen years ago)

loool omar

J0rdan S., Tuesday, 24 June 2008 21:44 (seventeen years ago)

i just wanted to post to this thread, for posterity.

strgn, Tuesday, 24 June 2008 22:13 (seventeen years ago)


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