This is a thread in which we anticipate further inane things Chris Martin will say in future interviews

"Soulja Boy, eat a dick. That nigga singlehandedly killed hip-hop."

"If only Mao had heard 'Dancing in the Moonlight' by Toploader, then things might've worked out all right. I mean, it's not a great song, but it's a laugh, and maybe if he'd heard it, he'd have thought, 'I shouldn't take everything so seriously.'"

"If only Pol Pot had heard "Fill My Little World Right Up" by The Feeling, things might've been different. I mean, that's such a great pop song, and if only Pol Pot had sat down with a can of Carling in the pub and listened to it, he might've had second thoughts about his actions."

"If only Charles Kennedy had heard 'Somewhere Only We Know' by Keane, maybe he wouldn't have resorted to alcoholism and the Lib Dems would've won the 2005 election."

If only Public Enemy had heard "Trouble", he'd

oh the phone is ringing..

This thread is hilarious!

Good work everyone.

Go home.

Chris Martin was actually pretty funny at Apple's press/media event today:

“I don’t have any new products to reveal. I wish the rest of the band were here, but they were too lazy.”

“I’ll just play one song, and if you feel like another one, I’ll play another one, and then keep going until you feel like lunch.”

“Which proves that your marketing people can sell anything.”

“Is Steve around to tell me what to do.” Jobs: “Keep going!” Martin: “I’m afraid I’ve played all the hits.”

“This is a new song, I’ve been working on it, it’s called Coldplay 2.6. It has a lot of new features. It features 7 different kinds of chord. Even a new one that our closest rivals have no idea about. Which Jonathan Ive designed. It’s the chord of i-minor. I’m just making this up! This is a song called Wedding Bells. This might be the only time it ever appears.”

“It could go terribly wrong, but fuck it.”

Full context of this quote (sorry):

Chris is a story about how Apple turned a song that their label said is not a hit song into a hit song. “Which proves that your marketing people can sell anything.”

He’s talking about Viva la Vida.