Worst Song in the World?

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For me, it's a three-way-tie between "What's Up" by 4 Non Blondes, "Lovin' You" by Minnie Ripperton and "Born to Be Alive" by whatever disco leper decided to blight the world with that sonic offal.

What are your nominations?

― Motel Hell, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I like the Minnie Ripperton and all disco lepers.

― Andrew L, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Born to be Alive"/"What's Up" = Pee Wee Herman/Marc Dutroux

― dave q, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

a message to you rudi - the specials. every time. proved. by science.

― gareth, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Muskrat Love". Eww.

― Alex in SF, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"every morning" by sugar ray

― minna, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Cry" - Godley and Creme

― Damian, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Everybody Hurts" by REM wins narrowly in front of The Beatles "Ob-La- Di-Ob-La-Da" and Abba's "Dancing Queen" (I really don't get it why this is venerated at ILM, just terrible bland 70s discopop). There is so much bad music out there. Logically I only named songs and artists I knew the names of. I do not waste brainspace for band and song names of the real bad stuff.

― alex in mainhattan, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Marc Dutroux > Eek!
Bohemian Rhapsody.

― nathalie, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Everybody Hurts" by REM wins...

Well said, because it sounds exactly like Phil Collins. Why can't REM fans can't accept the fact??

― Jez, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Have A Nice Day by the Stereophonics has to be up there.

It's too easy a target but that band "The Cartoons" really really were the worst novelty band/bunch of tossers ever to walk the earth.

― Ronan, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Baha Men - Who let the dogs out?

Indeed. Who let the dogs out?

― Marc, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Well said, because it sounds exactly like Phil Collins
It sounds even worse than Phil Collins. It is the apotheosis of schmaltz. And I usually love REM including their latest album.

― alex in mainhattan, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Gotta agree with "Everybody Hurts" - especially because it marked an all-time low for a band that was capable of much better.

Although, I just remembered "The Sweetest Thing" by U2. I fuckin' hate that song. But I'm not that fond of U2 either.

― Dave225, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"American Pie." Any version. It's a crappy song, AND it's about 45 minutes long.

― Nick, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Feed The World.

On a purely musical/lyrical level obviously.

― Ronan, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

There's a song at the end of Come on Feel the Lemonheads where Evan Dando just clanks away randomly at a piano. Cant remember the name but its unspeakably awful. Also, SYMM by the Manic Street Preachers (who I actually like a lot). It contains the line "The ending for this song / Well I havent really thought of one". Enough said.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I Believe I Can Fly - R Kelly

Anything by Oasis

― Baxter Wingnut, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Psych! I was going to post this exact question today!
Anyway, my submission has to be "Broken Home" by Papa Roach. It epitomises everything that is bad about modern rock music: a bunch of fat thirty-somethings whining about how their parents didn't give them enough attention. Absolutely embarrasing. The video is akin to nails being dragged down a blackboard. Absolutely awful.

― dog latin, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Loving You by Minnie Riperton is a classic! Have A Nice Day would be a contender, had the Stereophonics not also made Mr Writer, an extraordinarily feeble song masquerading as a vicious attack. It's its sense of self-importance which makes it so much worse than just ordinary rubbish like The Birdie Song or whatever.

― Martin Skidmore, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Lambchop vs Go-Betweens

― the pinefox, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Wasn't there an old Kim Fowley track called "The Worst Song in the World"?

― Lee G, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Soaky in the Pooper" VS "I Need Two Heads"!

I vote for "All Cried Out". Any & all versions.

― Daver, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

it's a 3 way tie for me. baha men - who let the dogs out limp bizkit - did it all for the nookie andrew wk - party hard party hard party hard

― dyson, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"she's going to sing the same song
over and over again
it's the ugliest song in the world "

-Pat Fish

― Dave225, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

that fkn "tamperer" thing with the badly sampled bad trumpet playing over the top of the badly played / sequenced >ahem< "house" thing. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKKKKKGGGGHGHHHHHH!!!! or TRANCE _ O _ DELIC " sugar, you make my soul comple-ete ...... Yeakk!!! makes me furious! violent drunks gathering at bus stops singing oasis "don't look back in anger"

― bob snoom, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

we were borrrrrrrn... borrrn to be ah-lieeeve!! (born to be AHlive)

the first 15 seconds of that song are godlike

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Wow, I don't think I hate any of these songs - the ones I know anyway. Lots of them I like. Maybe I'm losing my "edge".

The songs that I hate most are ones by artists I really like who do crappy songs that make me embarrasssed for them. Chuck Berry's "My Ding-A-Ling" is a real heartbreaker.

― fritz, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Further to "Everybody Hurts", there is a track on the last album, about number 2 or 3 (I can't remember, someone taped it for me, I listened to it once then threw it as far away from my house as I could) that sounds _exactly_ like Chris DeBurgh for the first minute, even the vocals. I think its called I Get High or something from what I remember. Give it a try, almost TOTAL DeBurgh.

― Lynskey, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Gale to thread!

I can't possibly answer this without research, but for now I've gotta go with "Everybody Hurts" too... blech.

― Sean, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

b-b-but "everybody hurts" is GREAT because it reminds me of "love hurts" by nazareth which reminds me of the greatness of "razzamanazz", "this flight tonight", and "hair of the dog"!

― fritz, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i take back my previous statement and would like to submit the safty dance as the crappyest song ever. followed by afternon delight. ugh.

― dyson, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Now wait a second!! "Safety Dance" has to be excluded for its recent use in a very funny episode of Futurama (I think The Simpsons had a bit with it too). I can agree that "Everybody Hurts" is pretty wretched, but come on people "Safety Dance" is just plain hystacular.

― Alex in SF, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Fritz, did you know that "This Flight Tonight" is a Joni Mitchell song? Probably the one I like least. Nazareth were the Foreigner of the 70s weren't they? Utter bollocks in my book.

― alex in mainhattan, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head"

― Lord Custos 2.0 beta, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I won't be reading your Book of Utter Bollocks any time soon then, Alex.

― fritz, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Come to think of it, if it's got lots of Foreigner and Nazareth in it I'll probably like it. Have the publicist send me a review copy.

― fritz, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"The Safety Dance" is one of the greatest 1000 songs ever. If you want a horrifyingly bad song, you don't need to go much further than Shakira's utterly nonsensical paen to the penis, "Underneath Your Clothes". ("Everybody Hurts" ranks up there, too.)

― Dan Perry, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

everybody have fun tonight - wang chung
love shack - the B-52's
addicted to love - roert palmer

of course, there are mnay songs even worse than these that no one know. I remember getting promos of stuff in the dark days after grunge hit that were so unlistenable they had to be tossed after just seconds of the first song...

― g, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I think the problem with this thread is REALLY REALLY bad music is forgettable - it's almost as if your memory rejects it as a defense mechanism. Stuff that you remember as BAD is, at the very least, catchy or ridiculous or funny, which I would argue anyway makes it defensible - if not actually good - on some level or another.

― fritz, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

not even the simpsons refrence could salvage "the safety dance". i'm sorry, but that song does something way beyond getting under my skin. i just can't hear the song without picturing that rediculous video - how can he sing such a goofy song and still look so pissed off. it's pretty funny really. awful, but funny.

― dyson, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Dan this is the funniest song EVAH. How can you not be moved to tears of laughter by lines like these? Shakespeare? Pah!

I love you more than all that's on the planet
Movin' talkin' walkin' breathing
You know it's true
Oh baby it's so funny
You almost don't believe it
As every voice is hanging from the silence
Lamps are hanging from the ceiling
Like a lady tied to her manners
I'm tied up to this feeling

― Alex in SF, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"We Can Fly" by the Moody Blues. Sure it's an obscure song from the soundtrack of a little-seen IMAX movie. It's still AWFUL and TERRIBLE.

― adam, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh and I bloody HATE Brown-Eyed Girl. They seem to play it incessantly at student and karaoke nights and i've always hated it.

― dog latin, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Alex, it's all about the chorus, it seems:

Underneath your clothes
There's an endless story
There's the man I chose
There's my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey

Eep. I do like how Google has made their lyric into a Dali painting for some reason today.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

if you want to talk about bad songs in the funny sense, then "a hole in the wall" by kmfdm takes the cake. with lines like:

"when i have to die, then i want to strangle myself in your black hair. when i have to die, then i want to suffocate between your sweet breats."

nothing is funnier than a german industrial group trying to write a love song.

― dyson, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ned, the chorus is funny, but I think the verses I quoted are even more amusing. The whole thing is side-splitting though. Hahahaha. I'm going to bed now.

― Alex in SF, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It's definitely the 4 Non Blondes song... absolutely the most overwrought chunk of tripe to ever pollute the airwaves. I feel ill thinking of it.

― Andy, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

any damn song by Phish and the Dead.

― Chris, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The worst song in the world, ever, is "Little Boxes" by Malvina Reynolds. Do a google search on her and you'll find sites with this and other lyrics she wrote, all wretchedly sentimental lefty hogwash with a lethal case of the cutes.

― Michael Daddino, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Skipping 74 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Yeah, what is that "I'm loving angels instead" bit supposed to mean? Through it all she's offered him protection, a lotta love and affection, whether he's right or wrong, only for him to turn to the angels? What a dick!
But remember folks, it's the best British song of the past 25 years, as voted for by the Radio 2 listeners who could be bothered to vote!

No, it is a horrid song. Not as bad as Rock DJ. Now that truly is the worst song ever - the terrible rapping (I don't care if it's tongue in cheek), the obnoxious chorus...gaah! Reminds me of horrible nights in the crap student union nightclub.

No wait, I've got it...Search For The Hero - M People. A load of MOR gloop with insulting self help bullshit lyrics. That noxious saxophone weaving in and out of Heather Small's adenoidal bleatings. Became even more odious when used in that ghastly car advert which referenced Schindler's List.

Can't believe somebody has picked a song as sweet as Raindrops. Poxy fule!

Roxette is rubbish, but rather fun nonetheless, especially for their odd English-as-second-language lyrics.

― Stew (stew s), Tuesday, 26 April 2005 14:07 (twenty years ago)

joan osborne - what if god was one of us

R. Kelly - sex in the kitchen (soooo fucking funny, can't believe this isn't a parody)

any radio rock w/ throaty Abe Lincoln vocal style (Creed, Nickelback, etc.)

in defense of Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray fame: that guy completely shut out Dave Navarro & Dave Mustaine in RocknRoll Jeopardy. plus he's kinda funny on "Extra". btw i'm pretty sure Dave Navarro played guitar on the 4 non blondes record, which only adds to his pedigree of "biggest douchebag in rock"

― joey b, Tuesday, 26 April 2005 16:42 (twenty years ago)

"Walking on Sunshine" - Katrina and the Wave.

Song most likely to accompany my future killing spree. Or at least cause it...

― John Justen (johnjusten), Tuesday, 26 April 2005 17:04 (twenty years ago)

Wait. I change my answer to Dunkie Butt by 12 Guage.

― PappaWheelie, Tuesday, 26 April 2005 17:24 (twenty years ago)

A good 30% of this thread is heartbreaking.

― billstevejim, Tuesday, 26 April 2005 17:28 (twenty years ago)

three years pass...

Argh, argh, argh, the WORST SONG IN THE WORLD... I have no idea but it actually drove me out of the Tai Buffet where I was having lunch.

Annoying bratty girl vocals (could be Avril?) going on about "I'm gonna start a fight..."

Sing that one more time and the fight will be between your vocal chords and my breadknife, alright?

Music doesn't usually make me this violent.

― Carrot Kate (Masonic Boom), Wednesday, 19 November 2008 14:29 (seventeen years ago)

^P!nk.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Wednesday, 19 November 2008 14:30 (seventeen years ago)

That's "So What" Pink there, most likely.

xpost!

― Mark G, Wednesday, 19 November 2008 14:31 (seventeen years ago)

Oh my god, I had no idea that was what she sounded like. It's really truly vile.

― Carrot Kate (Masonic Boom), Wednesday, 19 November 2008 14:32 (seventeen years ago)

Anyway:

This thread! The usual suspects (EvryHutz, srchHero, yrButfl)

My nom is, fwiw, "I wouldn't believe yr radio", for no other reason than when the intro starts "1/2/3/4" over an acoustic, I so want to hear "john the baptist knows the score" into "God gave us life" HMHB, but no.

― Mark G, Wednesday, 19 November 2008 14:33 (seventeen years ago)

I love the song, personally, but I don't think I'd want it as background while eating lunch.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Wednesday, 19 November 2008 14:34 (seventeen years ago)

Seems, after all these years, I still haven't found time for posting even one pet hate o'mine on this thread. Well it's never too late, I suppose.

"Spread Your wings"/ Queen - wadda load of udiluted crap.

― t**t, Wednesday, 19 November 2008 14:56 (seventeen years ago)

So many of the choices adove are merely mediocre pop and radio rock. For true wretchedness, I give you: Butterfly Kisses!

― Dan Peterson, Wednesday, 19 November 2008 15:13 (seventeen years ago)

Patrick Swayze - She's Like the Wind

Richard Marx - Right Here Waiting

eating my own toenails whole

― Manchego Bay (G00blar), Wednesday, 19 November 2008 15:15 (seventeen years ago)

This is too easy, Red red wine with UB40.

― ConnieXX, Wednesday, 19 November 2008 15:31 (seventeen years ago)

"When I'm an All-Star Date Rapist" by 3 Super Sublime Sugar Rays Down

― small Frosty (wanko ergo sum), Wednesday, 19 November 2008 15:37 (seventeen years ago)

Could that "I want to start a fight" be Kelis? I only heard this yesterday but it had some similar chorus.

― Bella Swan Song (Susan), Wednesday, 19 November 2008 15:41 (seventeen years ago)

"here we go round the mulberry bush" by Traffic.

― D90, Wednesday, 19 November 2008 16:52 (seventeen years ago)

i always hated Dreadlock Holiday by 10cc. Bad white reggae, cheapens the style with its racist cartoon jamaicans

― Dr X O'Skeleton, Wednesday, 19 November 2008 21:38 (seventeen years ago)

Cotton Eyed Joe by Rednex. C'mon, people.

― Granny Dainger, Wednesday, 19 November 2008 21:53 (seventeen years ago)

a message to you rudi - the specials. every time. proved. by science.

I have never read anything so wrong and insane.

The answer is quite possibly something by Richard Ashcroft and his cunty face.

― chap, Wednesday, 19 November 2008 22:27 (seventeen years ago)

Thurston Moore's cover of The Beach Boys' "Here Today" that you can find on the Smiling Pets album.

― Mr. Snrub, Thursday, 20 November 2008 05:08 (seventeen years ago)

I LOVE Born to Be Alive.

― Chaud de poper le wheelie au démarrage (PappaWheelie V), Thursday, 20 November 2008 05:23 (seventeen years ago)

We Are the World
― PappaWheelie, Monday, April 25, 2005 5:41 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

― I've encountered Whiney on numerous message boards and (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 20 November 2008 06:10 (seventeen years ago)

I meant to write WTF under that.

― I've encountered Whiney on numerous message boards and (Whiney G. Weingarten), Thursday, 20 November 2008 06:10 (seventeen years ago)

Yeah, still hate the fucker.

― Chaud de poper le wheelie au démarrage (PappaWheelie V), Thursday, 20 November 2008 06:16 (seventeen years ago)

I read the whole thread and counted 49 quibbleables, including 4 that I love to pieces.
(Anyone else?)

Worst song = "Rock Me Amadeus"

― Myonga Vön Bontee, Thursday, 20 November 2008 07:37 (seventeen years ago)

SAVED BY ZERO

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 20 November 2008 07:52 (seventeen years ago)

900 answers and nobody's got it right yet? For shame.

"My Humps," duh, ftw.

― staggerlee, Thursday, 20 November 2008 23:48 (seventeen years ago)

That Des'ree song whose lyrics are something like "I was sad/ It was bad/ Now I'm glad/ Oh, life."

Joan Osborne also a top contender.

― adamj, Friday, 21 November 2008 02:14 (seventeen years ago)

Des'ree is a contendah, fer sure. Seriously:

LIFE

Chorus:
Life, oh life, oh life, oh life,
doo, doot doot dooo.
Life, oh life, oh life, oh life,
doo, doot dooo

I'm afraid of the dark,
'specially when I'm in a park
And there's no-one else around,

Ooh, I get the shivers
I don't want to see a ghost,
It's a sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news
(Repeat Chorus)

I'm a superstitious girl,
I'm the worst in the world
Never walk under ladders,
I keep a rabbit's tail

I'll take you up on a dare,
Anytime, anywhere
Name the place, I'll be there,
Bungee jumping, I don't care!
(Repeat Chorus)

life, doo, doot dooo
doo, doot dooo

So after all is said and done
I know I'm not the only one
Life indeed can be fun, if you really want to

Sometimes living out your dreams,
Ain't as easy as it seems
You wanna fly around the world,
In a beautiful balloon
(Repeat Chorus)

― staggerlee, Friday, 21 November 2008 02:27 (seventeen years ago)

I"d rather have a fucking piece of fucking toast.

― staggerlee, Friday, 21 November 2008 02:30 (seventeen years ago)

"midnight at the oasis," maria muldaur

― stampy, Friday, 21 November 2008 03:42 (seventeen years ago)

O_o o_O O_o o_O
*head explodes*

― be much inadequate one! (PappaWheelie V), Friday, 21 November 2008 03:51 (seventeen years ago)

four years pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOCYpR5W-FI

― how's life, Thursday, 21 February 2013 11:50 (thirteen years ago)

Heard it like twice in 2001 on an Area: One festival sampler. The chorus was so bad it's crept into my head regularly in the intervening years. Dialed it up on youtube and the verses are like a thousand times worse. If a time portal opened up, 11/22/63 style, I'd travel back to this morning and tell myself not to click on that youtube.

― how's life, Thursday, 21 February 2013 11:54 (thirteen years ago)

The original post on this thread is funny... "What's Up" is the song that immediately springs to mind when anyone says "worst ever", but the other two (Minnie and Patrick H) are gems. In fact, I just went to Spotify to play the original 1979 mix of the latter to find it greyed out. I've played it too often.

― Michael Jones, Thursday, 21 February 2013 13:23 (thirteen years ago)

Des'Ree for me, just incredibly bad and like a blueprint for shitness in music.

― Ballboy to Afghanistan (LocalGarda), Thursday, 21 February 2013 13:31 (thirteen years ago)

xp yeah I don't know what "what's up" is but anyone who even dislikes those songs is certifiable imo, never mind thinking them the worst songs in the world

― wins rules at negative self-demolition (wins), Thursday, 21 February 2013 13:44 (thirteen years ago)

oh wait lol it's that song isn't it

― wins rules at negative self-demolition (wins), Thursday, 21 February 2013 13:51 (thirteen years ago)

eleven months pass...

I would like to renominate/cosign/etc Midnight At the Oasis as the worst song in the world

the sound of her voice is SO HORRIBLE. it's like the audio version of a forced smile. it makes me want to smash things.

and the lyrics are the WORST

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 21 January 2014 21:45 (twelve years ago)

I Believe I Can Fly - R Kelly

Anything by Oasis

― Baxter Wingnut, Friday, 10 May 2002 00:00 (11 years ago) Permalink

wow such accuracy. either this or how am i supposed to live without you by michael bolton

― OutdoorFish, Tuesday, 21 January 2014 22:25 (twelve years ago)

listening to it nor for the first time: sounds harmless to me
xpost

― nostormo, Tuesday, 21 January 2014 22:29 (twelve years ago)

what about i believe i can fly or how i am supposed to live without you?

― OutdoorFish, Tuesday, 21 January 2014 22:36 (twelve years ago)

Bad of course

― nostormo, Tuesday, 21 January 2014 23:01 (twelve years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KejN9OWyhP4

on a good album too

― tɹi.ʃɪp (Treeship), Tuesday, 21 January 2014 23:03 (twelve years ago)

Jesus, "Fome" feels like it's 10 minutes long.

― Ynysddu is the best policy (but tread Caerphilly) (staggerlee), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 02:30 (twelve years ago)

I listened to "Shiny Happy People" today because of that AV Club hate article. I had never heard the song before today, it was actually far less grating than I thought it would be.

― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Wednesday, 22 January 2014 02:36 (twelve years ago)

ten years pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Qw60U71gDQ

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 18 July 2024 16:45 (one year ago)

sorry i rescind that in favor of this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhDJ0P

― Blues Guitar Solo Heatmap (Free Download) (upper mississippi sh@kedown), Thursday, 18 July 2024 17:09 (one year ago)

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