Pitch TV drama ideas that involve Eric Gaffney

TRAIN TO BOULDER: Travelogue in which Eric Gaffney (Sebadoh) finally has his long-held dream of taking a train to Boulder, CO fulfilled.

btw, if this thread gets 10 answers from other posters i will send you a 5 pound WH Smith voucher

Sixteen: In which MTV tells girls on their 16th birthdays they will be getting a performance from an acclaimed "rock star" and have to deal with the crushing disappointment with said "rock star" being Eric Gaffney. Gaffney spends the rest of the night mocking the girls in their pretty dresses.

FIELDS OF GAFFNEY: Complex, Lynchian drama where Eric Gaffney from the band Sebadoh travels back in time to World War II-era Britain. His dreams of crushing the Hun at the controls of a fighter plane quickly take a back seat when he meets, and falls in love with, Gracie Fields. All's fair in love and war - but is it really? J Mascis guests as Lord Haw-Haw in one episode.

THE GAFFNEY METHOD: Eric Gaffney (Sebadoh) tries to write a song with a tune. inevitably failing, he shouts into a microphone for 2 minutes in sheer frustration, and another masterpiece is born.

'OO THE FUCK IS GAFFNEY? / WHO IS THAT SONOFABITCH GAFFNEY? - Two competing teams of London and New York City taxi drivers compete in a competition to see, by competition, which one of them knows the most about symbiotic lifeform/D-list celebrity Dean Eric Gaffney. While competing against each other.

^^^ and obviously, it's a drama about a TV panel competition, because I read the thread title fully before I made that last post.

ON THE REBOUND: In his first nude role, Eric Gaffney from the band Sebadoh stars as Jonah Barrington in this unofficial biopic of the British squash champion's life.

PITCH TV DRAMA IDEAS THAT INVOLVE ERIC GAFFNEY: in a dramatization of real-life events, Sebadoh's Eric Gaffney (Dean Gaffney) is envious of the success of the ILX thread 'Pitch TV drama ideas that involve Dean Gaffney' and persuades DJ Mencap to start an ill-advised, hilariously limited parody thread.

Watch out for a guest appearance from Robert Pollard as the grumpy WH Smith cashier

lol. i am getting concerned

DEAN'S DREAM - Eric Gaffney stars in this biopic of Dean Gaffney.

UPSTAIRS AT ERIC'S: Eric Gaffney from the band Sebadoh has a slow and painful mental breakdown after a trepanning experiment at home goes horribly wrong.

^genius^

^otmfm^

NOT TOO AMUSED - Eric Gaffney from the band Sebadoh stars as a neurotic, down-on-his-luck standup comedian. Only the generosity of his celebrity friends (Derek Hatton, Tanya Donnelly, Howard Zinn) pulls him back from the brink of suicide in each bittersweet episode.

ERIC'S TRIP: Eric Gaffney visits a different town in Devon, England each week and whilst there, stumbles over a local landmark. Whilst high on LSD.

ERIC'S THE VIKING: Eric Gaffney of Sebadoh fame rapes and pillages a variety of North Western English towns while dressed as a Viking.

ERICURSION - Eric Gaffney plays a robot that is programmed to believe he is the very person he was designed to assassinate

ERIC ROLLED: Widely admired Indie legend Eric Gaffney stars as a maverick insurance salesman who is forced to live in a giant plastic bubble when he becomes allergic to nitrogen. He uses his new-found rotation skills to solve crimes or something. Co-starring the drummer out of Tad.

ERIC-TION - Eric Gaffney plays a doctor at a pioneering ED clinic.

THAT'S NOT KOSHER! - Eric Gaffney (Sebadoh) opens a new-agey juice stand in a suburban strip mall, but when business doesn't pick up the way he expects, Eric turns to advice from an old man who claims to be a Jewish holocaust survivor from Auschwitz. Heartwarming hilarity ensures when the old man teaches Eric everything about friendship, wheatgrass, and living life to the fullest-- until Eric accidentally stumbles upon a secret from the old man's past, a secret that suggests that he's not the Jew (or the friend) that he seems to be.

^would watch^

THE BAYOUS OF GAFFNEY - After his wife of 25 years dies in a construction crane accident outside their NYC apartment, widower Eric Gaffney packs his bags and moves to a plantation on the Louisiana bayou, where he must come to grips with small town bigotry and the echoes of Civil War-era racism while trying to get his negros to pick more cotton.

CRY SIS - Eric Gaffney of Sebedoh makes a star turn in this new action drama on Fox from the producers of 24. It features Gaffney staring as a slacker musician who is secretly a NSA counter terrorist agent working his way into left wing cells based around college campuses. His life is complicated when through tragedy he now has to raise his teenage sister who is also a mathematical genius. (Saturday's 9 PM)

TIMES OF CONFLICT- As covert government operative Eric Gaffney works his way into the underground music scene on the University of Wisconsin-Madison campus, he soon finds himself deeply entrenched in the seedy underworld of left wing activist social circles. Though his initial goal is to uncover and sabotage their covert plans to disfigure Sarah Palin's face with sulfuric acid, he increasingly finds himself empathizing with their socialist causes. When a chance meeting at an Obama rally with a beautiful young subversive (played by Anne Hathaway) leads to a strong attraction, Gaffney finds himself in conflict; it's his job to disenfranchise voters, but he does want Obama to win if only so he can fuck this hipster chick.

knows that it's only a matter of time before

(Oops.)

But he knows it's only a matter of time before his true allegiances are discovered...

WOUNDED GAFFNEY - Indie rock legend Eric Gaffney of Sebadoh visits the Sioux reservation where his alcoholic half-sister is struggling to keep her head above water. Confronted with his own long-repressed childhood trauma, Gaffney vows to make things right between his sister, himself, and his estranged stepmother, who is dying of colorectal cancer in Sioux Falls, even if it means driving a John Deere lawnmower over 100 miles to get there. Heartwarming lessons about family and the meaning of life are learned along the way.

MY GAFFNEY, MY RULES - Widely revered singer-songwriter Eric Gaffney is stranded on a desert island after his light aircraft crashes. Taken captive by the indigenous tribesmen, he is forced to perform a string of increasingly menial, pointless and hilarious tasks. But not singing. Oh no.

THE DIVESTMENT OF ERIC (special web-only mini-sode) - In order to raise money for the latest guitar effects processor he spotted in his free issue of TapeOp magazine, Eric Gaffney attempts to sell off all his possessions on internet auction house EBay. Hilarity ensues when Eric butts heads with EBay's legal team over the issue of whether Eric's placement of his used colostomy bag on the site counts as the sale of body fluid, which is clearly prohibited by EBay's TOS statement-- the terms of which Eric is shown as having agreed to upon registering an account with the company on May 12, 2006. EBay posted a net profit of $11 million at the close of the third Quarter last Tuesday, a 31% drop since Q3 2007. EBay spokesman Mark Roper blames the drop on a slowing economy and a slide in consumer confidence.

GAFFNEY 3000, PRINCE OF DARKNESS: part-vampire and part-cyborg, Eric Gaffney (Sebadoh) has lived hidden in the night for a thousand years. theorising that people are divided into the common herd and a small number of Nietzchian "supermen" who transcend society's usual moral boundaries, Gaffney devises a plan to send a platoon of killer droids back in time to turn the course of American Civil War in favour of the Confederacy. on the completion of his plan, the world around him is changed into a frightening dystopia ruled by fierce Negroids - part-machine descendants of slaves who rose up violently against their white oppressors and in turn became their masters. Gaffney is paralyzed by guilt over his actions and spends his time in his quarters, weeping like a pussy. his wailing draws the attention of a wise-cracking young runaway, Cracker Whitey (Seth Green), and together they hatch a plan to free the white race from oppression.

SLANTED AND ENCHANTED - Eric Gaffney of Sebadoh stumbles upon an Ibanez Lo Fi Filter LF7 pedal with the magic ability to summon drummer Gary Young (Pavement) to do his bidding. After mistakenly "bent" by a young, bearded homosexual, the pedal becomes increasingly erratic and "gnarly." The new filthy sound might just relaunch Gaffney's career, but will the unpredictable shenanigans of a constantly appearing and disappearing Gary Young sabotage his prospects? Sisters Bianca Leilani and Sierra Rose (CocoRosie) also star as double-crossing publicists with black magick secrets of their own.

POT DOESN'T HELP: CGI-heavy combo of history, sci-fi and comedy. Each week Eric Gaffney from the band Sebadoh has a different genocidal dictator live with him in his flat, recreated using archive footage, modern reproduction techniques and meat. Which monster will best adapt himself to seven days of mundanity, instant coffee and pizza?

HOW GREEN WAS MY GAFFNEY: Eric Gaffney stars as an idealistic young Welshman who refuses to follow in the footsteps of his father and become a coal-miner, opting instead to open a vegan wholefoods cafe and bong shop in downtown Treorchy. Comedy ensues when Trumans Water open a burger bar next door.

SEBA-DUD? - After a botched adult circumcision leaves him incapable of engaging in normal sexual relations, recovering medical patient Eric Gaffney (Sebadoh) begins seeing a sassy young barrista who works at the independent coffee shop in the up-and-coming neighborhood where he is seeking sanctuary. During the course of filing his multi-million dollar lawsuit against the medical clinic that ruined his sex life forever, Gaffney discovers that the beautiful woman who has won his affections happens to be the daughter of the same physician who performed the operation. Gaffney is dumbstruck as he tries to come to grips with whether the relationship could ever work out, and whether she could ever see him as anything but a grotesque punchline if she ever found out what happened to him. Could Eric ever tell her the truth about what happened? Will Eric have to drop his lawsuit in order to get in her pants? Is there even a point in trying to get into her pants? Will doctor-patient confidentiality be breached?